Out Here Tryna Survive

Epi 52: I Almost Quit My Dream Because I Was In A Hormonal Crash

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/fan_mail/new] One glance at my Apple Podcasts stats had me ready to throw the whole dream away. I filmed a full “I’m quitting” rant, cried real tears, and convinced myself it was bravery and honesty when it was actually a crash: PMDD, perimenopause, and plain old overload dressing themselves up as clarity. I’m talking about what it feels like when your brain gets loud and cruel and you believe it because it sounds certain. We get into PMDD as a monthly distortion field, how perimenopause can hit your brain harder than your period, and why ADHD symptoms, executive dysfunction, rage, despair, fatigue, and brain fog can suddenly feel like your personality instead of a hormone-driven shift. I also share how shame nearly took me out in 2023, and why “you’re failing” is often a lie that hides a more accurate truth: you have a capacity problem, not a calling problem. From there, we move into practical discernment. I walk through the questions I ask when I’m tempted to quit a job, end a relationship, post something too vulnerable, or burn my life down, plus my personal rule to wait 72 hours before big decisions. Slowing down isn’t sabotage. For me, it’s how the dream survives. If you’re navigating PMDD, perimenopause, midlife mental health, burnout, or survival mode, come sit with me. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs the reminder, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or a five-star rating on Spotify so more women can find us. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/support]

Ep 51: Banish The Fantasy Of Male Protection

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/fan_mail/new] Subscribe to my Substack: https://substack.com/@outheretrynasurvive Get the Out Here Tryna Survive Journal: https://stan.store/GraceSandra Business Inquiries: OutHereTrynaSurvive@gmail.com A man knows where you live, and suddenly rejection isn’t a simple text, it’s a safety decision. That’s the reality I’m sitting in after letting my guard down with someone I barely knew, then realizing I felt afraid of what he might do when I ended it. That fear sent me straight into a bigger question: what does dating safety even mean for Black women when so much violence comes from the people closest to us? I talk through the Rape Academy news and what it reveals about online misogyny, rape culture, and the way some men organize, teach, and normalize sexual violence against partners. It forces a reckoning with the “not all men” argument, because the issue isn’t statistical comfort, it’s lived risk. When you can’t tell which person is dangerous, you start moving differently. I also share the prayer “Banish the Fantasy of Male Protection,” and why it shattered the leftover belief that patriarchy, religion, or tradition can guarantee women’s safety. We go into the grief and anger of realizing how often male accountability fails, how men protect other men, and what it looks like to opt out of the protector myth while still trying to heal. As a mom raising sons, I get real about pushing back on red pill content, incel logic, and manosphere talking points, and why it can feel frightening even with good kids. I close with what actually helps me process trauma: EMDR, therapy, friends, and intentional journaling as a daily practice to rebuild self-trust. If this resonates, listen, share it with someone who needs a language for what she’s feeling, and please subscribe, rate, and review so more people can find the show. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/support]

Ep 50: My 50 Best Lessons On Sex, Healing & Survival in my 50th Year!

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/fan_mail/new] Fifty lessons. Three themes. Zero sugarcoating. I’m celebrating a huge personal milestone with a rapid-fire list of what I’ve learned about sex, healing, and survival while rebuilding my life and learning to trust my body again. We start with sexual healing and body autonomy: why arbitrary dating rules don’t matter as much as consent and safety, how purity culture can train us to ignore our own signals, and why being able to say “do this” or “stop” is a requirement, not a bonus. I talk about pleasure as something we’re allowed to enjoy, how self-pleasure is maintenance, and why sexual chemistry is not the same thing as emotional compatibility. I also get real about aging, perimenopause, and sexual health, because the culture loves to shame older women into silence even when our bodies still want aliveness. Then we move into healing and survival mode: why healing is hard and messy, why it isn’t linear, and why rest sometimes counts as the most courageous step. I share the lessons that helped me set boundaries, stop explaining myself to people committed to misunderstanding me, and take accountability even when I’m triggered. We end with survival truths about compassion fatigue, money stress and the nervous system, the need for community, and choosing abundance over just “getting by.” If any of this hits home, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find these lessons and feel less alone. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/support]

Ep 49 Stop Calling Teen Girls (& Brandy) Fast. On Wanya Morris' Grooming.

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/fan_mail/new] A grown ssa man can say something vile about Brandy on camera, and somehow the loudest anger still lands on the her . That’s the real story I can’t stop thinking about and it’s why I’m speaking on the resurfaced comments about Wanyye Morris and Brandy, who was 16 at the time. I’m not interested in nostalgia or celebrity tea. I’m interested in what our reactions reveal about grooming, consent, and the way purity culture trains people to police girls instead of confronting adult accountability.  We get into why “she was old enough” is not just disgusting, it’s a tell. We talk power imbalance, coerced consent, and how grooming often works by making a child feel chosen, special, and safe. I also share personal stories that connect this public discourse to what survivors carry privately, including how an inner child can still feel blamed years later when the internet starts rewriting harm as “her decision.” We name adultification and hypersexualization of Black girls, and why it’s heartbreaking to watch women join in on the pile-on.  I ground the conversation in reality beyond celebrity culture, including research on age gaps and teen pregnancy, and I explain why the myth that teen girls are “chasing grown men” keeps predators comfortable. We end with what protection can look like: consent conversations early, honest education, and real healing work, including guided journaling and support for anyone triggered by this topic. If this hit home, subscribe, leave a rating and review, share with a friend, and tell me in the comments what you want me to cover for episode 50. Check out my signature Out Here Tryna Survive Journal: https://stan.store/GraceSandra/p/out-here-tryna-survive-journal [https://stan.store/GraceSandra/p/out-here-tryna-survive-journal] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/support]

Ep 48: Five Survival Mode Lies And The Journaling Practice That Breaks Them

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/fan_mail/new] Survival mode is sneaky because it can feel like “I’m just handling life” right up until you pause and realize you’ve been white knuckling everything for years. I’m Grace Sandra, and I’m talking about the way trauma, chronic stress, and a cruel culture can plant beliefs in us that sound true but quietly wreck our self-worth, our relationships, and our health. I share a personal story from the years after leaving a severely abusive marriage, when CPTSD, grief, postpartum fallout, financial pressure, and perimenopause collided and I truly believed I wouldn’t survive. From that place, the mind starts looping on lies: I have to do everything alone, rest is laziness, my worth is what I produce, being needed means being loved, and if I stop everything will fall apart. We slow each one down and tell the truth about what it costs, especially for Black women who are constantly expected to be strong, silent, and self-sacrificing. Then we get practical. I explain why journaling and expressive writing are such powerful tools for nervous system regulation, reducing rumination, and challenging the “something is wrong with me” storyline that can come with complex PTSD. I talk guided prompts, simple daily habits like gratitude and affirmations, and how writing helps you name the lie and replace it with something real. If you’re trying to get out of survival mode, this is a gentle place to start. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s carrying too much, and leave a five-star review so more people can find Out Here Trying To Survive. What’s one survival mode lie you’re ready to stop believing? Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2160787/support]