Project Loving Myself

265: Why You Keep Making the Wrong Choices in Your Relationship with Sammar Shabir

49 min · 22 de abr de 2026
Portada del episodio 265: Why You Keep Making the Wrong Choices in Your Relationship with Sammar Shabir

Descripción

Ever notice how you know better… but still find yourself choosing the same kind of relationship over and over again? One minute you’re clear on your standards, and the next you’re drawn to something that feels familiar but leaves you questioning yourself. In this episode, I’m joined by Sammar Shabir — author of The Barred Window, Senior Certified Professional Life Coach, and founder of Rewrite with Sammar. Her work explores identity, self-concept, and how our early attachments shape the relationships we step into as adults. Together, we unpack how childhood attachment influences adult love, why certain situations keep repeating even when you’re aware of them, and what might really be driving the behaviors you don’t fully understand yet. Episode Resources ✨ Take the Love Blocks Quiz [https://go.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/love-blocks-quiz]— uncover the hidden pattern shaping who you choose, what you tolerate, and why love can keep repeating the same cycle. In this episode, we explore: ✨ How childhood attachment shapes who you’re drawn to ✨ Why familiar patterns can feel hard to break ✨ The deeper reason you may tolerate less than you deserve ✨ How identity and self-concept influence your relationships If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep ending up in the same kind of relationship?” this episode will help you start seeing what’s really going on beneath the surface. Get Started Here ✨ Book a Relationship Clarity Call [https://calendly.com/sanaiyahgurnamal/relationship-clarity-call]with Sanaiyah to uncover the patterns keeping you in confusion and step into love that feels secure instead of stressful. Connect with Me 🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com [https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/] ▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.youtube.com/@SanaiyahGurnamal/featured] IG @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.instagram.com/sanaiyahgurnamal/] @projectlovingmyselfpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/projectlovingmyselfpodcast/] Connect with Sammar 📸 Instagram: @sammarshabir [https://www.instagram.com/sammarshabir] 📖 Get her book: The Barred Window [https://thedreamworkcollective.store/products/thebarredwindow?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGnwMxCq-tZUPe7O6j0kXVWPSx1vnd5OPvevdHnjfsGJ7eUOA_kBRXuf0gPiXk_aem_q74rAIeDCeqAG982HNlOHg] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

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276 episodios

episode 275: What Happens When You Stop Looking for Someone to Make You Happy with Maria Leonard Olsen artwork

275: What Happens When You Stop Looking for Someone to Make You Happy with Maria Leonard Olsen

So much of life is spent waiting. Waiting for the right relationship, the next achievement, or the moment when everything finally falls into place and happiness can begin. But what if you've been looking for it in the wrong place all along? On this episode, we talk with Maria Leonard Olsen — bestselling author, TEDx speaker, attorney, mentor, and host of the *Becoming Your Best Version* podcast. Through her own journey of recovery, reinvention, and self-discovery, Maria has learned that the most important commitment you'll ever make isn't to someone else—it's to yourself. We explore why so many women tie their happiness to external validation, how people-pleasing quietly pulls us away from ourselves, and what changes when you stop waiting for life to make you happy and start taking responsibility for your own fulfillment. Episode Resources ✨ Get Maria's Ebook "Becoming Your Best Version [https://www.marialeonardolsen.com/contact]" — featuring practical wisdom and life lessons from inspiring women who have been guests on her podcast. ✨ Download the 99 Self-Love Journal Prompts [https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/99-self-love-journal-prompts/] — if this conversation is making you realize how often you've looked outside yourself for happiness, these prompts will help you reconnect with yourself, reflect more honestly, and start choosing yourself in a deeper way. In this episode, we explore: ✨ Why happiness can't be built on someone else's approval ✨ The connection between people-pleasing and self-abandonment ✨ What self-commitment looks like in everyday life ✨ How social conditioning shapes the way we define happiness ✨ Why becoming your best version starts with the choices you make every day ✨ Small daily practices that create a more meaningful and fulfilling life If you've been waiting for a relationship, achievement, or someone else's approval to finally feel happy, this conversation might change where you start looking. Connect with Maria 📸 Instagram: @fiftyafter50 [https://www.instagram.com/fiftyafter50/] 🎙️ Podcast: Becoming Your Best Version [https://open.spotify.com/show/6uVx6dyp9zG7Pnxwp1pOO9] 🌐 Website: www.marialeonardolsen.com [https://www.marialeonardolsen.com/] Connect with Me 🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com [https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/] ▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.youtube.com/@SanaiyahGurnamal] IG @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.instagram.com/sanaiyahgurnamal/] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

1 de jul de 202631 min
episode 274: What If Marriage Isn’t the Dream You Were Told It Would Be? with Sarah Gallucci artwork

274: What If Marriage Isn’t the Dream You Were Told It Would Be? with Sarah Gallucci

We often think freedom comes from having more choices, more independence, or more control over our lives. But sometimes the thing that's keeping us stuck isn't what's happening around us. It's the expectations we've been carrying for years without ever questioning them. On this episode, we talk with Sarah Gallucci — journalist, TEDx speaker, professor, and author of *Laid: A Memoir of Love, Sex, and Marriage*. What began as an exploration of her marriage became a much deeper journey into identity, gender roles, personal freedom, and the beliefs we inherit about what love and relationships are supposed to look like. We explore how cultural expectations shape the choices we make, why so many women lose themselves trying to hold everything together, and what happens when you finally start listening to the truth you've been avoiding. Episode Resources ✨ Join the 30-Day Self-Love Challenge [https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/30-day-self-love-challenge/] — a simple way to start choosing yourself again through small daily practices that build self-trust, self-worth, and a deeper connection with who you are. In this episode, we explore: ✨ The invisible expectations many women carry in relationships and family life ✨ How gender roles can quietly shape our choices, wellbeing, and identity ✨ Why high-achieving women often struggle to speak up about what they need ✨ The difference between speaking your truth and trusting your truth ✨ What happens when you stop living by expectations that no longer fit If you've ever felt torn between who you are and who you're expected to be, this conversation offers a powerful reflection on what it means to choose yourself and create a life that feels true to you. Connect with Sarah 📸 Instagram: @_sarah_gallucci_ [https://www.instagram.com/_sarah_gallucci_/] 🌐 Website: www.sarahgallucci.com [https://www.sarahgallucci.com/] Connect with Me 🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com [https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/] ▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.youtube.com/@SanaiyahGurnamal] IG @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.instagram.com/sanaiyahgurnamal/] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

24 de jun de 202639 min
episode 273: Why You Keep Ending Up in One-Sided Relationships artwork

273: Why You Keep Ending Up in One-Sided Relationships

So many women spend years asking the same question in love: Does he like me? Does he want me? Am I enough? And without realizing it, they build their entire dating experience around finding the answer. In this episode, we unpack one of the biggest shifts you can make in your love life: moving from trying to be chosen to becoming the one who chooses. Because when your focus is on whether someone wants you, it's easy to lose sight of what you actually need, want, and deserve in a relationship. We explore why so many women fall into "pick me" energy, how over-focusing on someone else's feelings causes us to abandon ourselves, and the simple question that can completely change the way you experience love. Episode Resources  ✨ Book a Relationship Clarity Call [https://calendly.com/sanaiyahgurnamal/relationship-clarity-call] — uncover the pattern keeping you stuck in overgiving, overthinking, or waiting to be chosen, and learn what needs to shift so you can create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. In this episode, we explore: ✨ Why so many women unconsciously audition for love ✨ How seeking validation can quietly shape your dating choices ✨ The difference between being chosen and choosing ✨ Why pulling away from love isn't always the same as healing ✨ The question that changes who you attract and what you tolerate ✨ A simple self-worth check-in for mixed signals, inconsistency, and overthinking If you've ever found yourself analyzing texts, waiting for clarity, or wondering whether you're enough for someone, this episode is a reminder that the real question isn't whether they choose you—it's whether you're choosing what truly feels right for you. Connect with Me 🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com [https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/] ▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.youtube.com/@SanaiyahGurnamal] IG @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.instagram.com/sanaiyahgurnamal/] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

17 de jun de 202617 min
episode 272: Dating Burnout: Why You’re Drained by Dating (And How to Stop Wasting Energy on Mixed Signals) with John DeOca artwork

272: Dating Burnout: Why You’re Drained by Dating (And How to Stop Wasting Energy on Mixed Signals) with John DeOca

Dating today can feel like a full-time job. One minute you're excited about a new connection, and the next you're analyzing texts, questioning mixed signals, and wondering why something that should feel simple suddenly feels so complicated. On this episode, we talk with Dr. John DeOca — psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner who helps people make sense of how we connect, communicate, and date in today's world. Through his work, he brings clarity to the confusion so many people experience in modern dating. We explore why dating feels harder than ever, how overthinking quietly drains our energy, and why the strongest relationships often begin with a stronger connection to ourselves rather than a stronger pursuit of someone else. Episode Resources ✨ Take the Love Blocks Quiz [https://go.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/love-blocks-quiz] — uncover the hidden relationship patterns that may be keeping you stuck in confusion, mixed signals, and unhealthy dating dynamics. ✨ Download John's free PDF [https://www.therelationshipprescriber.com/] — practical insights to help you navigate modern dating with more clarity, confidence, and self-awareness. In this episode, we explore: ✨ How modern dating has changed and why it feels more overwhelming today ✨ The difference between healthy connection and unhealthy attachment ✨ Why ambiguity and mixed signals have become so common ✨ How overthinking steals energy from genuine connection ✨ What it means to stay open to love without losing yourself in the process ✨ Why knowing yourself is one of the most important dating skills you can develop If you've been feeling exhausted by dating, confused by mixed signals, or wondering whether you're doing something wrong, this conversation will help you approach dating with more clarity, confidence, and self-trust. Connect with John 📸 Instagram: @dr__johndeoca [https://www.instagram.com/dr_johndeoca/] 🌐 Website: www.therelationshipprescriber.com [https://www.therelationshipprescriber.com/] Connect with Me 🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com [https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/] ▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.youtube.com/@SanaiyahGurnamal] IG @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.instagram.com/sanaiyahgurnamal/] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

10 de jun de 202636 min
episode 271: The Midlife Reset: What to Do When You've Outgrown Your Old Life with Heike Yates artwork

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There comes a point in life when what used to work just… doesn’t. The routines, habits, and strategies that once felt effortless suddenly leave you feeling frustrated, stuck, or questioning yourself.  On this episode, we talk with Heike Yates — midlife fitness expert, author, and creator of the SPARK Framework, who helps women navigate the in-between seasons of life when old ways no longer fit and the path forward isn’t always clear. We explore why change can feel so uncomfortable, what keeps so many women stuck in outdated versions of themselves, and how rebuilding self-trust starts with embracing where you are instead of trying to go back to who you used to be. Episode Resources ✨ Download Heike's Midlife Reset Guide [http://spark.heikeyates.com/midlife-reset-guide] — practical tools and mindset shifts to help you navigate change, rebuild self-trust, and create habits that fit the season of life you're in now. ✨ Download the Self-Love Cheat Sheet [https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/self-love-cheat-sheet/] — simple reminders to help you reconnect with yourself, trust your inner wisdom, and move forward with more confidence and clarity. In this episode, we explore: ✨ Why what worked before may not work in this season of your life ✨ The hidden cost of constantly trying to go back to the old version of yourself ✨ How shame and self-doubt keep women stuck longer than they need to be ✨ Why momentum matters more than willpower ✨ Heike's SPARK Framework for navigating change and reinvention If you've been feeling frustrated because life, work, health, or even your goals don't seem to fit the way they once did, this episode will remind you that you're not failing. You may simply be entering a new season that requires a different approach. Connect with Heike 📸 Instagram: @heikeyates [https://www.instagram.com/heikeyates/] 🎙️ Podcast: Pursue Your Spark [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pursue-your-spark-midlife-fitness-mindset-for-women/id1231586317] Connect with Me 🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com [https://www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com/] ▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.youtube.com/@SanaiyahGurnamal] IG @sanaiyahgurnamal [https://www.instagram.com/sanaiyahgurnamal/] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

3 de jun de 202640 min