Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

A parent writes that the bedtime routine with her 5.5 year old daughter has become an all-consuming marathon, and she feels exhausted, frustrated, and disconnected. "I don't enjoy motherhood right now," she says, "and that's painful to admit because I love my daughter so much." She describes a typical evening that begins calmly enough with snacks, bathing, teeth, and a book, but inevitably her daughter sidetracks the process with demands to go pee, first-aid for a booboo, and sometimes declaring that she's scared. "She knows exactly which needs I'll respond to, and I end up stuck in the loop again."  Janet offers insight into this parent's dynamic with her daughter and why this 'loop' continues. She then makes some suggestions as to what her child might need in their relationship for this frustrating merry-go-round to finally stop.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com] and ⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.JanetLansbury.com]. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] and ⁠"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

At the heart of Janet's parenting approach is respectful, honest communication between us and our kids beginning in infancy—which means observing and listening to kids at least as much as we talk to them. It also means walking through our own fears to accept our child's most uncomfortable feelings and broach difficult conversations. In this episode, Janet shares a parent's story about their child's 45 minute(!) meltdown, and how the parent eventually discovered what had caused it. This parent also describes helping their toddler gracefully handle a medical procedure. In both instances, this parent's embrace of respectful communication was the key to their success. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠ [http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com] and ⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠ [http://www.JanetLansbury.com]. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we need to --- depleting our energy with roles and tasks that are better left to our child. In this encore episode, Janet offers ideas for lightening our workload by recognizing and trusting our children's intrinsic abilities. Janet's job description reframe can help save our energy, nurture self-confidence, and at the same time foster a flourishing parent-child relationship.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠ [http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com] and ⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠ [http://www.JanetLansbury.com]. Her best-selling books ⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

It's common for young children to go through phases of unwarranted aggression, usually directed at the ones they love most. Janet has noted that these phases are as uncomfortable for our children as it they are for us, and probably even more so. In this episode, she responds to two parents of kids who are behaving erratically and lashing out at their siblings. Both families have attempted to address these behaviors with empathy, respect, and boundaries, but they aren't seeing results. The frustrated parents admit they've sometimes reacted with threats, punishments, or shaming. Nothing seems to work. Janet offers advice that she believes will address both of these children's internal discomfort and, therefore, ease their aggressive behavior.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: ⁠⁠⁠nobadkidscourse.com⁠⁠⁠ [https://nobadkidscourse.com]. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

You've no doubt heard by now about the countless benefits of our children's self-directed play. Less understood is how to nurture this invaluable instinct in our babies—every child has it. With our good intentions, though, we sometimes get in the way of play. Perhaps we intervene and unnecessarily interrupt our children's process. Or, as our kids get older, we let structured activities and excursions usurp the time they might have preferred to spend exploring, experimenting, following their own interests, and creating activities—doing what may look like "less" on the outside, but gaining profound benefits. In this episode, Janet shares  letters from parents who describe eye-opening experiences that caused them to recognize the importance of allowing their children—who are from 3 months old to 3 years old—to play their own way, and how the simple act of not intervening brought them joy and a new understanding of their child and the value of play.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is at: ⁠⁠nobadkidscourse.com⁠⁠ [https://nobadkidscourse.com]. Please support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]