Say it with poetry!

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Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2468729/fan_mail/new] In this episode, let's say it all in poetry. My Brain And Heart Divorced – John Roedel My brain and heart divorced a decade ago over who was to blame about how big of a mess I have become eventually, they couldn’t be in the same room with each other now my head and heart share custody of me I stay with my brain during the week and my heart gets me on weekends they never speak to one another – instead, they give me the same note to pass to each other every week and their notes they send to one another always says the same thing: “This is all your fault” on Sundays my heart complains about how my head has let me down in the past and on Wednesday my head lists all of the times my heart has screwed things up for me in the future they blame each other for the state of my life there’s been a lot of yelling – and crying so, lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time with my gut who serves as my unofficial therapist most nights, I sneak out of the window in my ribcage and slide down my spine and collapse on my gut’s plush leather chair that’s always open for me ~ and I just sit sit sit sit until the sun comes up last evening, my gut asked me if I was having a hard time being caught between my heart and my head I nodded I said I didn’t know if I could live with either of them anymore “my heart is always sad about something that happened yesterday while my head is always worried about something that may happen tomorrow,” I lamented my gut squeezed my hand “I just can’t live with my mistakes of the past or my anxiety about the future,” I sighed my gut smiled and said: “in that case, you should go stay with your lungs for a while,” I was confused – the look on my face gave it away “if you are exhausted about your heart’s obsession with the fixed past and your mind’s focus on the uncertain future your lungs are the perfect place for you there is no yesterday in your lungs there is no tomorrow there either there is only now there is only inhale there is only exhale there is only this moment there is only breath and in that breath you can rest while your heart and head work their relationship out.” this morning, while my brain was busy reading tea leaves and while my heart was staring at old photographs I packed a little bag and walked to the door of my lungs before I could even knock she opened the door with a smile and as a gust of air embraced me she said “what took you so long?” ~ John Roedel ----- "It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem." — G.K. Chesterton. ----- "To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it." — G.K. Chesterton ----- "It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem." — G.K. Chesterton ----- "Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility" — Dietrich Bonhoeffer ----- “It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply arranged The only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to set about it....” (Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll) Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand. Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,

Who! Me! - Passive Aggressive fight - Nay not me

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2468729/fan_mail/new] What is passive-aggressive behaviour? Do you fight like this? Passive-aggressive behaviour is when you express negative feelings indirectly instead of openly talking about them. It is a defence used to protect self. It might stem from early experiences and has become a way to protect self. It might also include feelings of rejection, fear, mistrust, insecurity and/or low self-esteem. It is often vindictive and a way of doing "fight' with someone. It is a way of expressing negative feelings, rather than talking openly about the issue which as caused upset. It is a way to communicate anger and other forms of distress, without openly acknowledging the emotions. It might take the form of action or inaction. An example might be, the person who attends an event (unwillingly), then is rude or hostile. Alternatively, it might be that they avoid the event and give a partner the “silent treatment.” That is overt aggression, adopted as a communication style, as revenge for an upset caused to them. Someone who uses passive aggression may feel angry, resentful, or frustrated, but they act neutral, pleasant, or even cheerful. They then find indirect ways to show how they really feel. They might say one thing, but do something quite contrary. They may do the thing they do not want to do and brood and complain whilst doing it. They might do something that seems kind (on the surface), but is opposite to the other person's expectation and preference. For example, someone who knows you are trying to lose weight, purposely buys a large sugary birthday cake for you. Passive aggression is a common coping mechanism that many people use from time to time, especially when they want to avoid direct conflict. People who engage in passive aggression may feel just as aggressive or hostile as those who adopt more overt forms of aggression. Anger, frustration, and displeasure are normal emotions. People who rely on passive aggression rather than direct communication to show these emotions often grew up in a family where that behaviour was common. It might not have felt safe for them to directly express their feelings as a child. Passive aggressive behaviour takes many forms but can generally be described as a non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behavior - like these other examples: Limit/curtail communication: when clearly there is a problematic issue present Avoiding/Ignoring/evading: because anger won't allow you to address the issue calmly Procrastinating: intentionally putting off something and knowing it will adversely affect the other person(s) Obstructing/deliberately stalling/preventing something Avoiding situations: where competition might show you in an unfavourable light Ambiguity/cryptic/unclear: not fully engaging Sulking/silent treatment/sullen/dogmatic: in order to get attention or sympathy. Purposely late: knowing that will offend Thwarting/frustrating someone expectation: to be 'bloodyminded' Purposely forgetting key matters: to show a blatant disregard and disrespect Limiting/withholding/avoiding Intimacy: known to be liked by the other person Making Excuses/coming up with reasons: for not doing things Victim role: so as to avoid taking responsibility for own role Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand. Bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access: https://www.kairos-centre.com/singles-couples-partners-marriage-programme/ Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner. Episode keywords: Couples Therapy,Relationship Advice,Building Healthy Relationships,Communication,Conflict Resolution,Intimacy and Connection,Relationship Coaching,Navigating Relationship Challenges,Love and Commitment,Couples Counseling,Conflict Resolution,Couples Conflict,Relationship Disagreements,Healthy Communication in Relationships,Partnership Dynamics,Resolving Relationship Issues,Emotional Intelligence in Conflict,Building Trust,Effective Communication,Sex help,Sex not working,Sex Therapy,Psychosexual help,Empowerment,Healing Journeys,Personal Growth,Intimacy Building,Addiction in Relationship,Infidelity Online Therapy,The Kairos Centre Peer Pressure,Separation,Divorce,Fear,Anxiety,Stress,Mental Health and Addiction, Dissociation,Anger,Husband has porn,EMDR,wife cheating,wife has porn,wife has another man,wife with a woman,husband with a man,Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing,Compulsive Behavior,Trauma Healing,Neuroplasticity,Online Therapy,Self-Soothing Behaviors,Childhood Trauma,Inner Child work,Childhood Development and Addiction bullying,Porn Addiction Recovery,Abuse,Sexual Abuse,Spiritual abuse,Church abuse,Minister abuse, Pastor abuse,Domestic Violence,Family

28 de may de 202614 min

Say it with poetry!

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