Tear Down These Walls

Episode 22: An Interview with Dara Gray

Episode 22 of Tear Down These Walls, Breaking Through Silence features Dara Gray. Dara speaks openly and honestly about growing up alongside his older brother Donal, who is autistic and has severe intellectual disabilities. Unlike his mother, who experienced life before Donal, Dara never knew anything different. From childhood, his world revolved around routines, unpredictability, care plans, emotional tension, and trying to keep the peace within the family home. In this deeply reflective conversation, Dara shares the impact this had on his mental health, relationships, outlook on life, and sense of self. He speaks candidly about depression, negativity, asking for help, going to counselling, and overcoming the belief that taking medication was somehow a defeat. He also reflects on the love he has for his family, particularly his parents, who despite the immense pressures they were under, still made space for him and his sister to feel loved and supported. Dara talks about how his experiences shaped his path, including initially wanting to become an occupational therapist because of Donal, before realising working in an environment so close to his upbringing was simply too triggering. What emerges throughout this episode is Dara’s honesty, self-awareness, resilience, and hope. This is a conversation about the unseen impact caring dynamics can have on siblings, about healing from chaos, and about learning that even in the darkest moments, life can change, people can heal, and peace is possible. A powerful and deeply human episode.

Episode 21: An Interview with Orla Gray

Episode 21 of Tear Down These Walls is a deeply moving conversation with Orla — a mother whose story reminds us that pain, love, and resilience don’t belong to any one background. Orla reached out to me after listening to the podcast, sharing how she connected with stories from a completely different world to her own. She grew up in a stable home, with education, opportunity, and no addiction or crime — yet she recognised the same thread that runs through all of our lives: human suffering. In this episode, Orla speaks openly about her son Donal, now 31, who was diagnosed with autism after years of searching for answers. She shares the journey of raising a loving, engaged child whose behaviour changed dramatically in his teenage years — a shift that brought immense challenges to the entire family. Orla speaks with honesty and courage about the moment she had to make the heartbreaking decision to place Donal into residential care — a decision that broke her, and led to her own time in St. Pat’s. She reflects on the impact this had on her, her husband Tom, and their children Dara and Ash, and the reality of family life shaped by routine, uncertainty, and survival. This episode holds both pain and hope. It highlights the importance of support, specialised care, and understanding — not just for the individual, but for the whole family. There’s a moment in this conversation that will stay with you: Orla says, “I love my son… but I didn’t always like him.” A sentence filled with truth, courage, and the kind of honesty many parents will recognise but rarely say out loud. Daragh’s beautiful poem, written for Autism Awareness Day, is also shared in this episode — a powerful reflection of love between siblings. This is a story about motherhood, breaking points, and finding a way forward. And most of all, it’s a reminder that no matter where we come from — we all carry something.

Episode 20: An Interview with Robert Farrell

Trigger Warning: This episode contains open conversations about addiction, suicide ideation, and loss. Episode 20 welcomes Robert Farrell, a deeply thoughtful and unassuming man whose story is one of survival, honesty, and never giving up. Rob grew up in Trim, Co. Meath, in a loving family, but bullying in secondary school changed the course of his life. Feeling like an outsider, he searched for belonging, which eventually brought him into the rave scene of the 90s and into heroin addiction — a drug he describes as his “medicine” at a time when pain and not belonging felt overwhelming. In this powerful two-hour conversation, Rob speaks openly about: • addiction and recovery outside traditional programmes • living with clinical depression and suicide ideation • the devastating impact of suicide on families and communities • losing friends and loved ones, and continuing to choose life • fatherhood, love, and the grounding force of his daughter Mya and partner Tanya • running, nature, and how endurance sport became a pathway to healing Rob shares honestly about relapse, sobriety, and becoming his own higher power — and how today he sees himself simply as a good person who keeps moving forward, even when life is heavy. This episode is raw, compassionate, and deeply human. It reminds us that healing doesn’t always look perfect — but connection, honesty, and hope can keep us alive. If this conversation brings up anything for you, please know you don’t have to carry it alone. Pieta House: Freephone 1800 247 247 Text HELP to 51444 Talking really does help.

Episode 19: An Interview with Michael Nolan

In this deeply moving episode, Lisa Byrne sits down with Michael Nolan, known to many as Mikey — a recovering alcoholic and gambling addict from Arklow whose story is one of loss, resilience, and quiet strength. Mikey speaks openly about entering treatment in Bruree, Co. Limerick in 2014 and the journey that has kept him sober ever since. For the first time, he shares the depth of grief he has carried — losing his mother in his early twenties, followed by the devastating loss of his father just five years later, and most recently the heartbreaking loss of his sister last July. With honesty and humility, Mikey reflects on addiction and the reality of how self-centred life can become when we are unwell — the relationships lost, the business gone, the house, the money, and everything he once knew slipping away. He recalls a powerful turning point: a €20,000 win at the races that quickly disappeared in a blur of drinking and spending, leading him towards the treatment that would ultimately change his life. What stands out most is Mikey’s quiet wisdom. He speaks about writing a letter to his father, about staying sober through unimaginable grief, and about leaning on meetings, connection, and the tools of recovery rather than returning to old coping mechanisms. He also shares how his three nephews, his brother, and sister-in-law continue to anchor him in love and purpose. This episode is a reminder that healing does not remove pain — but it can change how we carry it. Through vulnerability, honesty, and lived experience, Mikey shows that peace and contentment are possible, even after profound loss. A conversation about grief, addiction, accountability, and the power of staying well — one day at a time.

Episode 18: Lets Talk About Burnout

Episode 18 – Burnout, The Berlin Paradox & The Quiet Whispers We Ignore In this solo episode of Tear Down These Walls – Breaking Through Silence, Lisa Byrne reflects on burnout through the lens of healing, addiction, and self-discovery. Inspired by behavioural psychologist Lena Hoffman’s idea of the “Berlin Paradox,” this conversation explores how sometimes the very act of constantly “doing the work” can keep us running from ourselves — and how real change often lives in the stillness we avoid. Lisa speaks honestly about the difference between burnout in addiction and burnout in recovery, the ways adrenaline and chaos can quietly shape our identity, and how we can unknowingly swap one compulsion for another while trying to get well. She shares personal reflections on her own burnout at the end of the college year, learning to listen to the body’s whispers before they become a roar, and what it means to step back from constant movement — even when movement once felt like survival. This episode also holds space for those rebuilding their lives from scratch — single parents, students, people walking long roads of change — and asks an important question: when life demands so much effort just to stay afloat, how do we recognise the difference between necessary growth and emotional exhaustion? A reflective, honest conversation about slowing down, listening inward, and learning that healing isn’t always about doing more — sometimes it’s about allowing ourselves to simply be.