The Art of Charm

The Career Cost of Staying Quiet | Elaine Hering

1 h 1 min · 8 de jun de 2026
Portada del episodio The Career Cost of Staying Quiet | Elaine Hering

Descripción

Most people think having a voice means talking more. It doesn’t. AJ sits down with former Harvard Law lecturer Elaine Lin Hering to explore why so many capable people stay silent at work, in relationships, and in life — even when that silence comes at a cost. From people-pleasing and perfectionism to psychological safety, leadership, and self-advocacy, Elaine explains why silence is often learned, reinforced by our environments, and mistaken for professionalism. This episode offers a practical framework for speaking up without becoming someone you’re not — and why finding your voice has less to do with volume and more to do with expressing your perspective, needs, and expertise. Chapters 00:00 – Why capable people stay silent 07:00 – Speaking up without becoming someone else 14:00 – The hidden role of environment and leadership 22:00 – People-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-silencing 30:00 – High-stakes conversations and finding your voice 40:00 – The cost calculator: when to speak up 47:00 – The 4-step process for using your voice 55:00 – The 3 levers of influence beyond speaking louder communication skills, self-advocacy, leadership, psychological safety, people pleasing, perfectionism, confidence, workplace communication, difficult conversations, emotional intelligence, speaking up, career growth, influence, self expression, professional development, workplace culture, introverts, relationships, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Comentarios

0

Sé la primera persona en comentar

¡Regístrate ahora y únete a la comunidad de The Art of Charm!

Prueba gratis

Empieza 7 días de prueba

$99 / mes después de la prueba. · Cancela cuando quieras.

  • Podcasts solo en Podimo
  • 20 horas de audiolibros al mes
  • Podcast gratuitos

Todos los episodios

300 episodios

episode How to Make Your Ideas Impossible to Ignore | Social Intelligence Briefing artwork

How to Make Your Ideas Impossible to Ignore | Social Intelligence Briefing

Most people think great work speaks for itself. It doesn’t. AJ and Johnny break down why smart, analytical people so often lose credit for their best ideas—and how influence, status, and communication determine who actually gets remembered. Backed by decades of research, they explain why confidence is mistaken for competence, why louder voices often become perceived leaders, and how to make sure your ideas stay attached to your name. If you've ever watched someone repeat your idea and receive the recognition, promotion, or opportunity, this episode gives you a simple framework to own your work without becoming louder, more aggressive, or playing office politics. Episode resources: www.artofcharm.com/theos [www.artofcharm.com/theos] Chapters 00:00 – Why your best ideas don't get credit 02:00 – The research behind stolen recognition 04:00 – Why confidence beats competence in meetings 06:00 – The competence trap keeping you overlooked 08:00 – Present your recommendation before your analysis 10:00 – How to reclaim credit without sounding defensive 12:00 – A simple framework to own your ideas communication skills, executive presence, leadership, influence, workplace communication, career growth, confidence, meetings, office politics, executive communication, presentation skills, leadership communication, social intelligence, professional development, workplace psychology, decision making, status, influence skills, career advancement, public speaking Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Ayer15 min
episode Why Honesty Is Becoming So Hard | Christian Miller artwork

Why Honesty Is Becoming So Hard | Christian Miller

Most people think honesty is simply about telling the truth. It’s much more than that. AJ sits down with philosopher and ethics professor Christian Miller to explore why honesty is becoming harder in the age of AI, social media, and online influence. From cheating with AI and fake news to white lies, self-deception, and accountability, Christian explains why honesty isn't just about what we say—it's about the motivations behind our actions and the habits that shape our character. This conversation explores the psychology of dishonesty, why good people still lie, when honesty should give way to compassion, and the practical steps anyone can take to build more trust in their relationships, work, and everyday life. Episode resources: ⁠⁠⁠https://join.theartofcharm.com/xfa [https://brandontylerwebb.com/] https://christianbmiller.com/ [https://christianbmiller.com/] Chapters 00:00 – Why honesty is in crisis today 08:00 – Honesty vs. simply telling the truth 17:00 – White lies, trust, and long-term relationships 26:30 – How to build honesty as a daily habit 35:00 – When lying is the ethical choice 46:00 – AI, social media, and the future of honesty 55:00 – Bullshitting, self-deception, and accountability 01:00:00 – Becoming a more honest person A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://creators.spotify.com/dash/show/08XveTtMJIYffPwjjVwpSM/episode/1gOOp0lAKlT03TpUoHYn3e/unlockyourxfactor.com]  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://creators.spotify.com/dash/show/08XveTtMJIYffPwjjVwpSM/episode/1gOOp0lAKlT03TpUoHYn3e/artofcharm.com/intel%20]for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers by using promo code CHARM at AirDoctorPro.com [https://AirDoctorPro.com]. Shopify is where you go to start your business, and everything you need to sell is already there from day one. Start your free trial by going to SHOPIFY.COM/charm [https://SHOPIFY.COM/charm] Connect with top talent ready to help your business grow by going to UPWORK.COM [https://UPWORK.COM]. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://creators.spotify.com/dash/show/08XveTtMJIYffPwjjVwpSM/episode/1gOOp0lAKlT03TpUoHYn3e/mintmobile.com/charm] honesty, integrity, ethics, psychology, AI, social media, self awareness, trust, relationships, communication skills, critical thinking, deception, self deception, white lies, accountability, moral psychology, personal growth, character, truth, decision making Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

13 de jul de 20261 h 7 min
episode The Secret to Reading Any Room | Social Intelligence Briefing artwork

The Secret to Reading Any Room | Social Intelligence Briefing

Most people think group conversations are just a series of one-on-one interactions. They’re not. AJ and Johnny break down the hidden social dynamics that determine who gets heard, who gets ignored, and why the best ideas often lose to the highest-status voices. Drawing on research from MIT and behavioral science, they introduce a practical framework for reading any room in under 90 seconds by identifying status hierarchies, hidden alliances, and the unspoken rules shaping every meeting, networking event, and dinner conversation. If you've ever left a meeting wondering why your ideas were overlooked—or watched someone else get credit for something you already said—this episode will change how you walk into every group conversation. Episode Resources: https://join.theartofcharm.com/xfa [https://join.theartofcharm.com/xfa] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠ [https://Unlockyourxfactor.com] Chapters 00:00 – Why group conversations follow different rules 02:20 – The hidden status hierarchy in every room 05:10 – How to read a room in 90 seconds 06:30 – Spotting power, alliances, and influence 09:15 – The right way to contribute without losing status 11:00 – The other two layers almost everyone misses 13:00 – Your homework before the next meeting social intelligence, reading the room, communication skills, executive presence, group dynamics, leadership, influence, workplace communication, networking, social skills, status, body language, emotional intelligence, meeting skills, confidence, professional communication, executive communication, interpersonal communication, leadership development, team dynamics Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

10 de jul de 202616 min
episode The Secret to Knowing Who You Are | Luke Burgis artwork

The Secret to Knowing Who You Are | Luke Burgis

Most people think finding the right community will make them happier. It won’t—if you lose yourself in the process. AJ sits down with author Luke Burgis to explore why so many people unknowingly adopt the desires, beliefs, and goals of the people around them. From social media and AI to family dynamics, identity, and the pressure to fit in, Luke explains how our need to belong can quietly override our authentic selves. This conversation explores why we copy other people's ambitions, how technology amplifies that tendency, and what it takes to build a solid sense of self without sacrificing meaningful relationships. Chapters 00:00 – Why we lose ourselves trying to belong 08:00 – Finding your tribe without losing your identity 16:00 – AI, social media, and borrowed beliefs 24:00 – The difference between a pseudo self and a solid self 33:00 – Why smart people still copy other people's desires 42:00 – Conflict, authenticity, and healthy relationships 51:00 – Building confidence through real-world conversations 59:00 – Practical steps to strengthen your sense of self Episode resources: ⁠⁠https://join.theartofcharm.com/xfa [https://brandontylerwebb.com/] https://lukeburgis.com/ [https://lukeburgis.com/] ⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FWZZKJN6?]https://www.amazon.com/One-Ninety-Nine-Forging-Identity-Contagion/dp/1250373034/ [https://www.amazon.com/One-Ninety-Nine-Forging-Identity-Contagion/dp/1250373034/] Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/ajharbinger/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-dzubak-b5182687/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/ajharbinger/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/aocjohnny] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theartofcharm] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/user/pickuppodcastvideos] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠ [https://www.tiktok.com/@theartofcharm] identity, self awareness, psychology, belonging, confidence, social intelligence, personal growth, AI, social media, relationships, authenticity, emotional intelligence, family dynamics, human behavior, mimetic desire, communication skills, self confidence, mental health, critical thinking, purpose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

6 de jul de 20261 h 3 min
episode How to Master Any Conversation | Social Intelligience Briefing artwork

How to Master Any Conversation | Social Intelligience Briefing

Most people think making a great impression is about saying the right thing. It isn’t. AJ and Johnny break down the science of "vibing"—the overlooked social skill that builds trust, creates opportunities, and makes people genuinely enjoy being around you. From first dates and networking to interviews and business meetings, they explain why shared emotions matter more than shared interests, how to ask questions that deepen connection, and the simple conversation framework that turns awkward interactions into memorable ones. Chapters 00:00 – Why social intelligence beats technical skill 03:00 – The real purpose of "vibing" with people 06:00 – Research, seating, and setting yourself up for connection 09:00 – Open-ended questions that build instant rapport 13:00 – Shared emotions vs. shared interests 16:00 – Telling your story without sounding self-promotional 19:00 – Handling reserved people and larger groups 21:00 – Practicing connection before high-stakes conversations Episode Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/test⁠⁠ [https://theartofcharm.com/test%E2%81%A0] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠ [https://Unlockyourxfactor.com] social intelligence, communication skills, networking, relationship building, conversation skills, emotional intelligence, rapport, first impressions, executive presence, career growth, confidence, storytelling, networking tips, influence, social skills, interpersonal communication, charisma, leadership communication, professional relationships, human connection Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

2 de jul de 202624 min