Before the Diagnosis: What to Do When Your Child Is Struggling and Support Feels Miles Away

What is Autism? We're Talking About It

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're going back to basics and talking about what autism actually is. We cover what autism is and what it isn't, why the word 'spectrum' is so widely misunderstood, and what it can feel like to hear that word applied to your child for the first time. We also get into some of the phrases that drive every autism parent quietly up the wall and why they matter more than people realise. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Autism is a neurodevelopmental difference - it's about how the brain develops and processes information. It's present from birth and it's lifelong. * The spectrum isn't a straight line. It's more like a colour spectrum - a profile of different strengths, challenges, sensitivities, and support needs that looks different in every person. * Social communication differences don't mean autistic people don't want connection. They mean they may communicate and connect differently. * Repetitive behaviours, strong special interests, a need for predictability, and sensory differences are all part of how autism can present and they can look very different from one child to the next. * Autism can co-occur with anxiety, ADHD, or learning disabilities but autism itself is a neurotype, not an illness. * 'We're all a little bit autistic' is well-meaning but misleading. Being autistic means having a distinct, lifelong neurological framework and phrases like this risk minimising the real challenges many autistic people and their families face. * 'They don't look autistic.' What people often can't see is the masking, the mental exhaustion, and the cost of holding it together. * A diagnosis can bring fear and grief but also relief and validation. Many parents describe a shift from panic to advocacy — from 'what is this?' to 'what can I do?' * Support needs vary widely and can change across different life stages. What works in primary school may not be enough in secondary. Support isn't static. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE National Autistic Society -www.autism.org.uk [http://www.autism.org.uk] Autistic UK www.autisticuk.org [http://www.autisticuk.org] NHS - Autism overview and diagnosis pathways: www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism [http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism] CONNECT WITH THE AUTISM MUMS Website – https://theautismmums.com/ [https://theautismmums.com/] Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums [https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums] Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums [https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums] Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums [https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums]

SEND Reform UK: Rights at Risk?

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about the proposed SEND Reforms 2026 and what they could mean for families across the UK. The Government says the changes aim to make mainstream schools more inclusive, reduce EHCP numbers, and introduce new “layers” of support but many parents are concerned about what this could mean for legal protections, specialist provision, and access to support. After attending a local community meeting with our MP and submitting our own consultation response as parents, we share the common themes, key concerns, and the questions that still remain unanswered. This isn’t about resisting reform, it’s about making sure reform strengthens the system, and doesn't weaken children’s rights. KEY TAKEAWAYS 1. EHCP access could change significantly. 2. Proposals suggest EHCPs may eventually be reserved for children with “the most complex needs” but there is currently no clear definition of what that means. 3. Specialist Provision Packages (SPPs) may replace detailed individual plans. 4. This risks shifting from a needs‑led system to a more standardised, package‑based approach. 5. Legal enforceability is a major concern. 6. If support moves from Section F of an EHCP into Individual Support Plans (ISPs), it may not carry the same legal protection. 7. Mainstream inclusion requires real resources. 8. Training, inclusion bases and expert advice sound positive but without more educational psychologists, therapists and specialist teachers, implementation may fall short. 9. Need must drive provision — not budgets or system design. 10. Reform can only succeed if it strengthens accountability, preserves rights, and ensures support is delivered in practice. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Michael Charles' Facebook page [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1212271077] CONNECT WITH THE AUTISM MUMS Website – https://theautismmums.com/ [https://theautismmums.com/] Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums [https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums] Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums [https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums] Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums [https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums]

Puberty, Periods and Neurodivergent Kids with Cath Hakanson

Puberty is a long season of change and for neurodivergent children, that can feel especially overwhelming. In this episode, Victoria and Natalie are joined by Cath Hakanson, sex educator and founder of Sex Ed Rescue, who shares practical, reassuring guidance on talking to autistic and ADHD kids about puberty, bodies, and growing up. Cath is late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD herself, and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to the conversation. ABOUT CATH HAKANSON Cath Hakanson is a clinical sexuality educator, registered nurse, and founder of Sex Ed Rescue, a global platform that has supported over a million families with honest, shame-free sex education. With more than 25 years of clinical experience spanning sexual health nursing, sex therapy, and health promotion, Cath has made it her mission to help parents have the conversations they were never taught to have. Late-diagnosed AuDHD herself and a parent of neurodivergent kids, she brings both expertise and lived experience to her work. Her approach is simple, factual, and built for real family life, neurospicy or otherwise. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Start early and keep it small. Introducing puberty from age four or five through books, casual comments, and everyday moments which means it's never one huge overwhelming conversation. * Puberty isn't necessarily different for neurodivergent kids, but the way they experience and process it often is. Sensory sensitivities around hygiene routines, body hair, and discharge can all create friction. * Before you problem-solve, ask. The single most useful thing you can do is ask your child what's getting in the way, the answer might surprise you. * Small, natural, low-pressure conversations, once a month, in the car, over a TV show, are far more effective and keep the door open for questions as they grow. * Hormones can hit differently with a neurodivergent nervous system. Helping your child understand why their emotions might feel more intense during puberty is part of the conversation too. * It's never too late to start. Whether your child is four or eighteen, beginning the conversation now is always better than not beginning it at all. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Cath's Top Ten Sex Education Books - https://sexedrescue.com/sex-education-books [https://sexedrescue.com/sex-education-books] Hair in Funny Places by Babette Cole https://babette-cole.com/10550-2/ [https://babette-cole.com/10550-2/] AUsome — Autistic-led neurodiversity training - https://ausometraining.com [https://ausometraining.com] Free Guide: Sex Education for Neurodivergent Kids - For parents of autistic and ADHD kids who want a clearer way to approach sex ed without making it feel bigger or harder than it needs to be. https://sexedrescue.com/neuroaffirmingsexed [https://sexedrescue.com/neuroaffirmingsexed ] CONNECT WITH CATH Website: https://sexedrescue.com [https://sexedrescue.com] Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cathhakanson [https://www.facebook.com/cathhakanson] CONNECT WITH THE AUTISM MUMS Website – https://theautismmums.com/ [https://theautismmums.com/] Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums [https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums] Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums [https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums] Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums [https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums]

EBSA & Autism: School Avoidance Isn’t Defiance with Caroline Sutton

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast Natalie is joined by psychotherapist, author and former NHS specialist nurse Caroline Sutton to talk about Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) and why so many neurodivergent children experience school as overwhelming or unsafe. When a child can’t go to school, it’s rarely about defiance. Caroline shares over 37 years of professional experience supporting children and families, alongside her lived experience as a neurodivergent parent. Together, we explore the emotional and neurological roots of school anxiety and why traditional behaviour-based approaches often make things worse. If you’ve ever been told to “just make home less appealing” or that your child is being manipulative, we hope this conversation will feel validating, hopeful and reassuring. BIOGRAPHY Caroline Sutton is a psychotherapist, author, and former NHS specialist nurse with over 37 years of experience supporting children and families. Drawing on her professional background and her lived experience as a neurodivergent parent, she brings a deeply compassionate approach to understanding emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) and anxiety in young people. Through her private practice, writing, and public speaking, Caroline helps parents and professionals see beyond behaviour to the emotional and neurological roots of distress. Her work blends clinical insight with personal understanding, empowering families to rebuild safety, trust, and hope in education and at home. KEY TAKEAWAYS What Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) really means Why school avoidance is not the same as defiance The link between autism, ADHD, anxiety and burnout How the nervous system responds when school feels unsafe Why forcing attendance can increase distress Signs your child may be heading toward burnout How to balance encouragement with emotional safety Supporting transitions back to school after holidays The importance of compassion for parents navigating EBSA MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE 📘 A Compassionate Approach to School Anxiety by Caroline Sutton Ebook [https://carolinesuttonhypnotherapy.co.uk/product/ebook-a-compassionate-approach-to-school-related-anxiety/] Paperback [https://carolinesuttonhypnotherapy.co.uk/product/paperback-a-compassionate-approach-to-school-related-anxiety/] 🎁 Free Download: Caroline’s Return to School Checklist [https://caroline-sutton-hypnotherapy.kit.com/19b101d313?fbclid=PAZnRzaAN9DBRleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAac8JsTia4rlJYDx4o0UfsqHFTpUHdaauMMuWB_FpyuYdyy3AV_Ir0eVeELt6w_aem_txvSeqEoMahL3v5LbMw_sw] 👥 Caroline’s private Facebook membership for parents [https://carolinesuttonhypnotherapy.co.uk/product/extraordinary-minds-founding-member/] CONNECT WITH CAROLINE SUTTON Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/caroline_ndtherapist?igsh=MXVtaTZnYW03NWJicw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr] Website [Www.Carolinesuttonhypnotherapy.co.uk] CONNECT WITH THE AUTISM MUMS Website – https://theautismmums.com/ [https://theautismmums.com/] Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums [https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums] Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums [https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums]

Understanding Sensory Differences in Autism

Sensory differences affect up to 95% of autistic people, yet they’re often misunderstood as “fussy” behaviour or being dramatic. In this episode, we break down what sensory processing really is. Key Takeaways * The 8 sensory systems (not just the 5 you learned at school) * Hypersensitivity vs hyposensitivity * Sensory defensiveness * Why supermarkets, lunch halls, hand dryers and clothing can feel unbearable * How sensory overload impacts eating, sleep, learning and behaviour * Practical strategies for calming, alerting and organising regulation We also share personal examples from our own families and discuss how to support sensory needs at home and in school, with curiosity, compassion and less shame. Because behaviour is communication and regulation matters more than compliance. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE The National Autistic Society [https://www.autism.org.uk/] Beat Eating Disorders [https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/] Loop earplugs [https://www.loopearplugs.com/collections/all] CONNECT WITH THE AUTISM MUMS Website – https://theautismmums.com/ [https://theautismmums.com/] Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums [https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums] Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums [https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums]