Love for the Other

Share Your Smile

May: On Love May 31 We’ve talked about it before—the world will give you endless reasons every day to frown, snarl, and bite back at it (or at the other people inhabiting it). But where will that get you? You’ll satisfy an animalistic instinct to “fight” back for a moment, but after that? Oh, you’ll have some elevated levels of epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine, and cortisol (which can be life-saving in certain circumstances!) but overall, when the moment passes and your body regulates, you’ll be left feeling exhausted, tense, or maybe even have some digestive issues. And really, reacting this way changes nothing. The alternative? Slow down. Consider what it is you’re reacting to—and maybe more importantly, why you’re reacting to it, and why you’re reacting the way you are. Stop. Breathe. Think. Can you see how silly it is that a random stranger’s comment at the store or on social media might upset you? Can you laugh at the absurdity of modern life and the rat race we find ourselves in? Can you smile in the face of any disaster that might come your way—because you’re still here and you’re still breathing and you’re giving it everything you’ve got? * Reflection title: Share Your Smile * Creative inspiration: Mother Teresa, Nobel Lecture, 1979 * Reflection Question: Am I doing my best to meet the world and others with a smile? Am I smiling at myself?

Warning: Deep Well Ahead

May: On Love May 30 It’s a risky thing—loving someone or something. Because if you love—if you truly love someone—you’ve given them everything you’ve got. And should they go? Should they be taken from you? Well . . . what have you got left? It happens all the time. You hear romantic stories of elderly partners passing away within days of each other . . . death by a broken heart. This is something called the widowhood effect. And while there doesn’t seem to be a clear medical reason as to why it might happen, it goes to highlight, at the least, just how important love is in our lives. So important that sometimes we can’t live without it. * Reflection title: Warning: Deep Well Ahead * Creative inspiration: Eastin DeVerna, Life Is But a Dream * Reflection Question: Am I prepared to lose the one I love most? Are they prepared to lose me? What promise can I make to myself and to them about carrying on?

This Is Your Number-One Priority

May: On Love May 29 What have we done to ourselves—in a world where we have forgotten (or ignore) the answer to the fundamental question of our existence? What false gods have replaced the very essence of what makes us human?  Work, entertainment, money. And, you know as well as I, that that is just the tip of the iceberg of things we place over love.  If we continue on this path—this path of neglecting the answer of love—as a group, as a society, as a species, we run the risk of dividing ourselves further. Deeper racial, class, political, and religious divides await us before we ultimately will perish. Love and its siblings, compassion and connection, are essential in all human systems and please understand they are not optional and decorative nice-to-haves. They must be front and foremost in all we take part in—and this, of course, starts with yourself and extends to families all the way to how we work and how we govern ourselves. We either suppress or nurture love, and I for one have seen enough of the suppression of it. * Reflection title: This Is Your Number-One Priority * Creative inspiration: Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving * Reflection Question: Where does love fall in my list of priorities? Have I forgotten it? And what will I do to remember it?

What Are You Waiting For?

May: On Love May 28 Today, May 28th, marks your death.  According to your calendar, you have until eight PM. And then it's all over.  So the question is how will you spend the time you have left? What will you do? Who do you want to spend this time with? Is it possible to tie up any loose ends on any projects or tasks? Do these even matter anymore?  And perhaps most importantly , what do you want to say and to whom? What are you feeling inside that you need to bring to light?  Don't wait to reach out to that estranged relative or that friend you fell out with or just kind of stopped talking to. Let them know you’re thinking of them. Tell your partner you love them. Hold your child and let them hear your words as often as time allows. If you love them, say it now. Waiting is a mistake. * Reflection title: What Are You Waiting For? * Creative inspiration: Haruki Murakami * Reflection Question: Who have I been thinking about that I need to reach out to? Who do I love that needs to hear the words today before it's too late?

Where Wolves Won’t Go

May: On Love May 27 Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from “The Giaour” By Lord Byron. There are places where the wolves dare not go. Even when pressed with hunger, they know to avoid barren landscapes, those slippery and icy slopes, or forests that have been burned and scarred by fire. These are places where nature is harsh and unforgiving, where life struggles to gain a foothold. And there are places where even we dare not go willingly. Those emotional or moral wastelands where even the cruelest and hardest among us cannot survive long. The valleys of death and loss, where memories of joy and life are stripped of their flesh and their bones lie bleached beneath a merciless sun. Or those oceans of despair and grief and obsession so deep we sink without a trace. But even in the most dire, hopeless, haunted, and morally extinct places, you will find a lone traveler—braving the cutting winds and poisoned air, trekking over the bones of the dead and through fields of knives—all to reach the one they love. And even if they falter or fail, they will not sigh, because nothing could ever make the pursuit of love worthless. * Reflection title: Where Wolves Won’t Go * Creative inspiration: Lord Byron, “The Giaour” * Reflection Question: Where and how far would I go for those I love? Will I find courage to enter those harsh and unforgiving realms?