Why More Stuff Doesn’t Make You Happier

Why the “Pursuit of Happiness” Is a Bad Idea

The “pursuit of happiness” is one of America’s founding ideals. But what if chasing happiness is actually making us feel worse? In honor of the 250th anniversary of American independence, Dr. Laurie travels to Independence Hall in Philadelphia to explore what Thomas Jefferson and the founders really meant by “the pursuit of happiness” — and how that idea has changed over time. She speaks with historian Darrin McMahon [https://faculty-directory.dartmouth.edu/darrin-m-mcmahon] and psychologist Iris Mauss [https://psychology.berkeley.edu/people/iris-mauss] about Americans’ unique relationship with happiness, why striving for it can sometimes backfire, and why the best path to a good life may involve focusing less on ourselves and more on other people. Experts Mentioned: * Darrin McMahon [https://faculty-directory.dartmouth.edu/darrin-m-mcmahon], David W. Little Class of 1944 Professor of History at Dartmouth College * Iris Mauss [https://psychology.berkeley.edu/people/iris-mauss], Professor of Psychology at UC Berkeley and Director of the Emotion and Emotion Regulation Lab  * Lahnna Catalino [https://www.scrippscollege.edu/offices/profile/lahnna-catalino], Associate Professor of Psychology at Scripps College * Birgit Koopmann-Holm [https://www.scu.edu/cas/psychology/faculty-and-staff/birgit-koopmann-holm/], Associate Professor of Psychology at Santa Clara College of Arts and Sciences Resources Mentioned: * “Declaration of Independence [https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript],” (1776) * Happiness: A History [https://www.amazon.com/s?k=happiness+a+history&hvadid=694122845217&hvdev=c&hvexpln=67&hvlocphy=9004400&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=8289930300280046609--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=8289930300280046609&hvtargid=kwd-299429754950&hydadcr=15278_13517873&mcid=6edc0d09988a39e7a06307a2a77af1cb&tag=googhydr-20&ref=pd_sl_5fsx49g574_e_p67], by Darrin McMahon (2006) * A Dictionary of the English Language [https://www.amazon.com/Dictionary-English-Language-Anthology-Classics/dp/0141441577], by Samuel Johnson (1755) * Democracy in America [https://www.amazon.com/Democracy-America-Alexis-Tocqueville/dp/0226805360], by Alexis de Tocqueville (1835) * “The Pursuit of Happiness: Pitfalls and Promises [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1364661326000513?dgcid=author],” by Iris Mauss and Brett Ford * “Can Seeking Happiness Make People Happy? Paradoxical Effects of Valuing Happiness [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3160511/],” by Iris Mauss and colleagues (Emotion, 2011) * “Focusing on the Negative: Cultural Differences in Expressions of Sympathy [https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0037684],” by Birgit Koopmann-Holm and Jeanne Tsai (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2014) * “Prioritizing Positivity: An Effective Approach to Pursuing Happiness? [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5533095/],” by Lahnna Catalino, Sara Algoe, and Barbra Frederickson (Emotion, 2014) Related Episodes: * “Happiness Lessons From the Ancients: Aristotle [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happiness-lessons-of-the-ancients-aristotle]” * "How to Identify Your Negative Emotions [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-identify-your-negative-emotions]" * “Stop Endlessly Chasing the ‘Next Big Thing’ in 2023 [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/stop-endlessly-chasing-the-next-big-thing-in-2023]” See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Why “No Regrets” Is Bad Advice

We’ve all had moments we wish we could do over: the relationship we stayed in too long, the opportunity we didn’t take, the thing we said that we can’t unsay. Regret can feel awful. So it’s no surprise that “no regrets” has become a popular life motto. But what if regret isn't actually the enemy? In this episode from The Happiness Lab archives, Dr. Laurie explores the surprising science of regret with authors Daniel Pink [https://www.danpink.com/] and Liz Fosslien [https://www.fosslien.com/]. Together, they explain why our biggest regrets can reveal what we value most, help us make better decisions, and even point us toward a happier future. If you've ever found yourself stuck replaying an old mistake, this episode offers a more productive way to look back. Experts Mentioned: * Daniel Pink [https://www.danpink.com/], non-fiction author * Liz Fosslien [https://www.fosslien.com/], author, illustrator, and expert in workplace culture and emotions * Mollie West Duffy [https://molliewestduffy.com/], author, illustrator, and expert in organizational development * Augusten Burroughs [https://www.augusten.com/], author and memoirist * Bronnie Ware [https://bronnieware.com/], author and palliative carer  Resources Mentioned: * “Liz + Mollie [https://www.lizandmollie.com/]” * Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are  Not Okay [https://www.amazon.com/Big-Feelings-Okay-When-Things/dp/0593418239], by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy (2022) * Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward [https://www.amazon.com/Power-Regret-Looking-Backward-Forward/dp/0735210659], by Daniel Pink (2022) * The Top Five Regrets of the Dying:  A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing [https://www.amazon.com/Top-Five-Regrets-Dying-Transformed/dp/140194065X], by Bronnie Ware (2011) * “Making Up for Lost Opportunities: The Protective Role of Downward Social Comparisons for Coping With Regrets Across Adulthood [https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167210393256?casa_token=wr3_gS7VSLIAAAAA:xVdemmc-HfadLq9Q7yuYv6pSVBsjJSd2VYOZcLoqn_FtS34AyKPqCM9b-RcnTaWqr4qZdkBM-gk],” by Isabelle Bauer and Carsten Wrosch (2011)  Related Episodes  * “How to Identify Your Negative Emotions [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-identify-your-negative-emotions]” * “How to Be Angry Better [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-be-angry-better]” * “Why Nostalgia Ain't So Rosy [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/why-nostalgia-aint-so-rosy]” See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Are Kids Today Really Worse Off?

We hear a lot about rising rates of anxiety, depression, and fragility among kids today. But when Harvard researcher Alexis Redding [https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/alexis-redding] uncovered a forgotten trove of interviews with college students from the 1970s, she found something surprising: their emotional struggles and developmental challenges sounded nearly identical to those of students today. Dr. Laurie also talks with psychologist Adam Mastroianni [https://www.adammastroianni.com/] about why our minds are so quick to believe that young people are getting worse over time. Together, they explore what we get wrong about “kids these days,” and how historical perspective can help us respond to young people with a little more compassion. Experts Mentioned:  * Alexis Redding [https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/alexis-redding], developmental psychologist and Co-Chair of Higher Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education * William Perry [https://www.thecrimson.com/article/1998/1/28/bureau-of-study-counsel-founder-dies/], professor of education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education * Adam Mastroianni [https://www.adammastroianni.com/], writer and social psychologist * Nancy Hill [https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/nancy-hill], Charles Bigelow Professor of Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education Resources Mentioned: * Mental Health in College: What Research Tells Us About Supporting Students [https://www.amazon.com/Mental-Health-College-Research-Supporting/dp/B0FQ9HXNB6], by Alexis Redding (2026) * Forms of Ethical and Intellectual Development in the College Years: A Scheme [https://www.amazon.com/Forms-Ethical-Intellectual-Development-College/dp/0787941182], by William Perry (1968) * “The Illusion of Moral Decline [https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-023-06137-x]” by Adam Mastroianni and Dan Gilbert (Nature, 2023) Related Episodes:  * “How to Make America's Young People Happier Again [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-make-americas-young-people-happier-again]” * “What is Social Media Doing to Kids? [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/what-is-social-media-doing-to-kids-with-dr-jean-twenge]” * “How Smartphones Changed Childhood (And What to Do About It) [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-smartphones-changed-childhood-and-what-to-do-about-it]” See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

The Surprising Case for Oversharing

We’re kicking off a new season of The Happiness Lab with some happiness hot takes — bold claims that challenge conventional wisdom about what it really takes to feel happier. Today's hot take is all about oversharing. We’re usually told that revealing too much is cringe-worthy. That it demonstrates social ignorance. That when it comes to overly personal information, save it for your therapist, because less is usually more. Dr. Laurie argues that revealing more than feels comfortable can actually strengthen our social connections and boost our wellbeing. She speaks with Harvard Business School professor Leslie John [https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/profile.aspx?facId=589473], author of Revealing [https://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Underrated-Oversharing-Leslie-John/dp/0593545389], about why TLI (too little information) is often more dangerous than TMI, and chats with University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley [https://www.nicholasepley.com/], author of A Little More Social [https://www.amazon.com/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540], about what “embracing the cringe” can teach us about connection, vulnerability, and trust.  Together, they explore the line between sharing and oversharing, and explain why what feels like “too much information” is often just information. Experts Mentioned:  * Leslie John [https://www.proflesliejohn.com/about], James. E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School * Nick Epley [https://www.nicholasepley.com/], John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business * Bronnie Ware [https://bronnieware.com/], author and palliative carer  Resources Mentioned: * Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing [https://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Underrated-Oversharing-Leslie-John/dp/0593545389], by Leslie John (2026) * “Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation [https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1754073917742706]” by Jared Torre and Matthew Lieberman (Emotion Review, 2018) * The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing [https://www.amazon.com/Top-Five-Regrets-Dying-Transformed/dp/140194065X], by Bronnie Ware (2011) * A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection [https://www.amazon.com/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540], by Nick Epley (2026) * “Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation [https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797618772506],” by Amit Kumar and Nick Epley (Psychological Science, 2018) * “Insufficiently complimentary?: Underestimating the positive impact of compliments creates a barrier to expressing them [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-92058-001]” by Xuan Zhao and Nick Epley (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2021) Related Episodes:  * “The Secret to Making Friends as an Adult [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/the-secret-to-making-friends-as-an-adult]” * “Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/why-giving-is-a-great-daily-habit]” * “Caring What You’re Sharing [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/caring-what-youre-sharing]” See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

How to Feel Happier in Your Body with Jessamyn Stanley

As summer begins, many of us are bombarded with messages about how our bodies aren't good enough. But what if we embraced movement not out of self-criticism or shame, but self-compassion? To close out our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, we're revisiting a powerful conversation from The Happiness Lab archives featuring Jessamyn Stanley, author of Every Body Yoga: Let Go of Fear, Get On the Mat, Love Your Body [https://www.amazon.com/Every-Body-Yoga-Fear-Body/dp/0761193111]. Dr. Laurie explores how body shame warps our relationship with exercise — and how to rediscover the joy of moving our bodies. If you've ever treated exercise like punishment, this episode offers a happier, kinder way to move through the world.  See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.