Her Mother and Grandmother Said Nothing. Belle Burden Broke the Silence.

She Kept Hearing "No." At 60, Sari Botton Finally Found Her Audience.

"No just means not right now." That's the philosophy that kept writer and Oldster founder Sari Botton going through decades of rejection before building one of Substack's most beloved magazines — at age 60. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Sari gets honest with Maryam about the messy middle: the identity searching, the failed attempts, the mean girls that never quite went away, and the moment she finally stopped contorting herself to fit someone else's story. She also shares the writing strategies that got her through a book deal she almost abandoned, and why she thinks the busier you are, the better you write. If you're a writer, a late bloomer, or just someone still figuring it out — this conversation is for you.  🎙️Subscribe to The Messy Parts and never miss a story worth telling. Key Moments 00:00 - "No Just Means Not Right Now" 💪  Sari opens with the mantra that kept her going through decades of rejection, and explains why she refuses to take no for a final answer. 00:53 - Meet Sari Botton 📖  Maryam introduces the writer, publisher, and Oldster founder whose New York Times feature sent her Substack into the stratosphere. 03:35 - The Hustler's Origin Story 👊 Sari traces her work ethic back to her parents, and how watching them juggle everything shaped who she became. 06:28 - The Creative Weirdo Who Never Fit the Mold 🎭 Sari reflects on growing up as a dreamy, performing kid who started writing plays at seven. 08:02 - "Since My Late Forties, I've Been Becoming Who I Really Am" ✨  Sari gets candid about the long road to self-certainty, and why it took decades of peeling away inauthentic layers to finally arrive at herself. 10:58 - The Secret She Was Keeping From Herself 🤫  Sari reveals she never actually wanted children — and the surprising relief she felt when a medical diagnosis made the decision for her. 13:02 - Mean Girls Never Really Go Away 😤  Maryam and Sari dig into the culture of indirect honesty, female friendship, and why being direct is still so hard — even at 60. 21:35 - "The Most Sustainable Situation I've Ever Had" 🙌 Sari reflects on arriving — finally — at a creative life that actually pays, and what it means to build something that works on your own terms. 23:32 - Trusting Your Instincts When Everyone Says No 🔥  Editors and agents said her anthology ideas would never sell — but Sari she did them anyway. Now she has 85,000 Oldster subscribers and counting. 26:24 - On Finding Success Later in Life 🌟  Sari gets emotional about what it means to finally be living proof that good things can happen at any age. 29:42 - The Memoir She Almost Abandoned 📝  Sari opens up about her 3am anxiety spirals while writing her memoir, the Pomodoro method that saved her, and why the first draft just needs to exist. 35:07 - Rapid Fire: Messy Moments, Confidence Crises & Walk-On Songs 🎤  Sari's messiest moment, her advice for anyone in a confidence crisis, and the song that gave her the courage to write her memoir. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

Bonnie Hammer Gave Her Boss the Finger. It Changed Her Career.

Bonnie Hammer ran 10 networks and two studios at NBCUniversal — but her career didn't start in a corner office. It started cleaning up dog poop on a kids' TV set. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Bonnie gets radically honest with Maryam about the moments that actually shaped her career: being passed over for the top job at NBC, negotiating her way into her own studio, saying yes to WWE when every instinct said no, and building one of the most collaborative cultures in a notoriously cutthroat industry. Plus: Bonnie’s honest take on ageism in media, AI's impact on the entertainment industry, and what she'd tell her younger self today. If you've ever been told no, hit a wall, or wondered whether kindness is actually a liability in business — this one's for you. 🎙️Subscribe for more conversations with leaders who tell the truth about how they really got there. Key Moments: 00:00 - The NBC Betrayal 😤  Bonnie reveals she was promised the top job at NBC by Jeff Zucker — and then watched it go to someone with a fraction of her experience. 00:56 - Meet Bonnie Hammer 🎬  Maryam introduces the legendary NBCUniversal Vice Chair who ran 10 networks and two studios — and never played the power game. 06:24 - Queens Girl, Russian Roots 🏙️  Bonnie traces her resilience and optimism back to her immigrant father, whose philosophy was simple: if you can't do it, you're not trying hard enough. 07:10 - Dog Poop and Destiny 🐾  How a freelance photography gig on a kids' show — and cleaning up after an untrained sheepdog — set Bonnie on the path to a television empire. 11:00 - The Problem Solver Mindset 🕵️‍♀️  Bonnie explains why she never sees walls — only cracks — and how she used photography to break into a circle of moms who wouldn't give her the time of day. 14:50 - Never Take No for an Answer 🚪  The remarkable story of how Bonnie talked her way into graduate school after missing the deadline — and the lesson about honesty and vulnerability that still drives her today. 17:03 - The Rollercoaster Dare 🎢  At an NBC Universal executive retreat in Orlando, Bonnie takes a dare and rides a rollercoaster — and realizes she's the only woman who showed up. 24:22 - "I Gave My Boss the Finger" 🤼  Bonnie's unfiltered reaction when she was asked to take on WWE — and how one of the most unexpected assignments of her career became one of her favorites. 29:56 - Zucker Lied. She Negotiated Anyway. 💰  The inside story of how Bonnie turned the worst professional betrayal of her career into her own studio, and nearly doubled her salary. 37:07 - Not Retired. Rewired. 🔄  Bonnie gets honest about leaving NBCUniversal — it wasn't entirely her choice — and why she wishes she'd stepped off the corporate ladder a decade earlier to build something of her own. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

Ed Sheeran, Pizza Rat & Getting Hacked: Rick McGuire on Running Subway Creatures and Loving New York

What does it take to build one of New York City's most recognizable social media brands — from scratch, in secret, while working a day job? Subway Creatures founder Rick McGuire tells Maryam the whole story: from working at VH1 and MTV while quietly building Subway Creatures on the side to Pizza Rat, Ed Sheeran, and a very public account hack that brought him to tears and nearly took everything. Rick gets honest about the chaos of entrepreneurship, learning to value your own work, and why New York City's subway is the greatest content machine on earth. If you're building something from nothing, this one's for you. 🎙️ Loved this episode? Subscribe to The Messy Parts on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts — and leave us a review so more people can find us. Key Moments:  00:00 - The Hack That Almost Broke Everything 😱  Rick opens the episode with a gut-punch — someone took over his Subway Creatures account for months, and it was the first time he'd cried in years. 00:24 - Meet Rick McGuire 🗽  Host Maryam Banikarim introduces the man behind Subway Creatures, What Is New York, and some of NYC's most-followed social media accounts. 01:52 - How Subway Creatures Was Born 📱  Rick shares how a daily commute from New Jersey and a desire to stop annoying his friends turned into one of Instagram's most iconic accounts. 05:15 - Why the Subway is the World's Greatest Melting Pot 🚇  Rick and Maryam geek out over what makes the NYC subway so special — and why forcing millions of people underground together creates pure magic. 09:33 - From VH1 Intern to MTV Producer 🎬  Rick walks through his decade in television, the grunt work that made him grittier, and the unsustainable realities of the production world. 11:21 - The Secret Side Hustle 🤫 Rick reveals how he built Subway Creatures in the shadows while working full-time, terrified his employer would find out and wondering who actually owned what he was creating. 13:02 - The Netflix Moment  💸  Rick's first big brand deal was with Netflix for Arrested Development, and he'll be the first to tell you he grossly undercharged them. 23:14 - Ed Sheeran & the Subway Performance Nobody Saw Coming 🎸  Rick tells the story behind one of the most viral subway moments ever — and how a seasoned subway performer had no idea what was about to happen. 26:09 - The Moment Rick's Dad Finally Got It 🙌  A CBS news meeting, a phone pulled out mid-briefing, and one very shocked father — the moment the Subway Creatures curtain got pulled back for Rick's family. 37:18 - Pizza Rat Was a Stunt — and Rick Has Receipts 🐀🍕  Rick drops the bombshell that the video that put Subway Creatures on the map was an elaborate publicity stunt by a mysterious, Banksy-like figure with trained rats. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

"I Don't Know How to Balance All of This": Faherty Co-Founder Kerry Docherty on Business, Marriage, and Choosing Yourself

Kerry Docherty is a co-founder of Faherty, the surf lifestyle brand she built alongside her husband, his identical twin brother, and her mother-in-law. But behind the sun-soaked brand was a woman quietly carrying the weight of secrets — from childhood, from marriage, and from a business that nearly broke her. In this episode, Kerry opens up to Maryam about growing up in an Irish Catholic household where hard things went unspoken, what it really means to work with your spouse, the emotional affair that changed everything, and why she's spent the last few years reclaiming a word most women are taught to fear: selfish. If you've ever felt guilty for wanting something for yourself, this one is for you.  Subscribe to The Messy Parts so you never miss a conversation like this one. Key Moments 02:04 - The Peacemaker 🕊️  Kerry describes growing up as the quintessential middle child in a Buffalo, NY household — always fine, always keeping the peace, and putting everyone else's needs before her own. 03:14 - Groomed to Be Good 👧  Kerry reflects on how she was conditioned from a young age to be kind, generous, and selfless, and how that conditioning quietly disconnected her from her own needs. 04:16 - The Green Ribbon 🎀  Kerry shares the childhood story of Jenny and the green ribbon, and how it planted an early question in her mind about the true cost of secrets. 06:15 - A Seed of Shame 🌱  When we feel we can't share certain parts of ourselves, it doesn't just stay hidden — Kerry says it quietly becomes a seed of shame growing from within. 10:02 - Pre-Enlightenment Syndrome 😂  Kerry coins her own self-diagnosis: "pre-enlightenment syndrome" — the belief that she was perfectly fine at all times — until her therapist told her she was actually repressed. 11:27 - Mom Goes to India 🧘  When her stay-at-home mom left for a month to become a yoga teacher in India, Kerry thought it was selfish — but really, it was a gift. 13:14 - The Van, the Store, the Dream 🚐 Hear how Kerry and her husband quit their jobs, drove a mobile beach shop cross-country, and sold flannels out of parking lots — the origin story of what would become Faherty. 17:59 - Salary Negotiation in Couples Therapy 💸  A couples therapy session quickly uncovered far deeper questions about Kerry’s value, emotional labor, and how she and her husband saw each other. 20:28 - "You Just Do What You Want" 💥  How an offhand remark that became the emotional center of Kerry’s entire memoir. 25:05 - The Fantasy World 🌀  Kerry created an emotional fantasy world around another person, and realized what she was really longing for was a part of herself she had buried. 27:05 - "I Read Your Letter to Beau" 📱  Kerry’s phone buzzes — her husband has found and read the private letter she wrote to another man. She describes the moment as both terrifying and profoundly relieving. 31:16 - The Messiness Is the Beautiful Part ✨  In her closing reflection, Kerry lands on the hardest and most honest lesson from everything she's been through: that consequences of telling the truth are messy, but they create intimacy. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.

She Was Called “Dumb.” Now Assia Grazioli-Venier Invests Millions in Women’s Health.

What if the hardest parts of your life were actually setting you up for something bigger? Assia Grazioli-Venier’s story is a powerful reminder that your worst moments don’t define you — what you do next does. In this episode of The Messy Parts, Assia shares with Maryam her journey through dyslexia, cancer, infertility, and major career pivots — and how she turned every setback into fuel. She opens up about building a venture capital fund, why women struggle to raise money, and what she wishes she knew about finance earlier in life. If you’ve ever doubted yourself or felt behind, this conversation will change how you see your story. 👉 Subscribe for more honest conversations about career pivots, resilience, and growth. Key Moments 00:00 - “I Thought I Was Dumb” 🧠 Assia reflects on growing up with undiagnosed dyslexia and how discovering it changed the trajectory of her life. 01:04 - The Pitching Mistake Women Make 💼 Assia and Maryam unpack why so many women begin pitches from a place of apology instead of confidence. 02:04 - “You’re Doing Them a Favor” 💰 Assia shares the mindset shift that transformed the way she approached fundraising and investing. 03:21 - The Miles Davis Quote That Defines Her Life 🎺 Assia explains why “It’s not the bad note, it’s the note you play after” became her guiding philosophy. 04:44 - Learning Money & Power the Hard Way 📈 Assia discusses entering tech and venture capital without understanding equity, finance, or negotiation. 08:21 - Why 98% of Capital Goes to Men 🚨 A candid conversation about venture capital, power structures, and why women are still underfunded. 13:26 - From the Italian Countryside to NYC 🌍 Assia shares her unconventional childhood growing up between rural Italy and Manhattan’s Upper East Side. 16:13 - “Dyslexia Is My Superpower” ⚡ She explains how dyslexia became one of her greatest strengths—and why mindset matters more than labels. 19:20 - The Accident That Changed Everything 🚕 After being hit by a taxi at 22, Assia’s original career path collapsed—and unexpectedly led her into tech. 23:13 - The Wild Early Days of Spotify 🎧 Assia recounts helping build Spotify during the early streaming era and why she believed in the future of music tech. 30:49 - The Cancer Diagnosis That Sparked Muse Capital ❤️ A breast cancer diagnosis led Assia to uncover shocking gaps in women’s healthcare—and ultimately launch her VC fund. 40:23 - How to AI-Proof Your Career 🤖 Assia shares her thoughts on the future of work, education, and the skills AI can’t replace. 41:36 - Advice for Anyone Struggling With Confidence 🌱 Her perspective on confidence, self-doubt, and why knowledge and work ethic matter more than perfection. 42:00 - “It’s Going to Be More Than Okay” ✨ Assia reflects on infertility, resilience, and why life’s messiest moments can become your greatest gifts. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2463801/fan_mail/new] Email us: hello@themessypartspodcast.com [hello@themessypartspodcast.com] To stay up to date with The Messy Parts [https://themessypartspodcast.com/] and get all the behind-the-scenes content, follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/themessypartspodcast/], LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryambanikarim/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMessyParts]. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and review on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-messy-parts/id1804155142] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/3rMFKKEzK8fgKBwBPqP4HI?si=899c6a4d61ba41e5] or where ever you get your podcasts. Thank you for listening.