The Myth That You Can't Change Your Past

Joy is not the reward...It's the work

You cannot build the relationship you want from a nervous system running on stress twelve hours a day... and your partner can feel your state before you say a single word. In this episode, Dr. Jeni Wahlig kicks off a brand new series, Alive In Love: The Serious Business of Joy, by laying the foundation for everything that's coming this month: the difference between primal state and powerful state energy, and why nearly every relationship tool you've ever tried only works from one of them. In this episode you'll hear:Why your nervous system and your partner's are in constant, wordless conversation. The "downward doom loop" that keeps couples stuck in escalating cycles Why "I'll be happy when..." is a lie your brain keeps telling youThe seventeen-second practice that starts to shift your baseline today. A true story of how quickly a good baseline can slip, even during a genuinely good week This is Episode 1 of Alive In Love: The Serious Business of Joy. New conversations drop every Friday. If you're ready to stop waiting to feel better and start leading your own state differently. Free Masterclass: "How To Get Your Partner To Finally Show Up The Way You've Been Asking (Without Burning Out Trying To Make It Happen)" — Register: powerfulove.com/the-love-you-deserve-masterclassThe Third Path — a 6-week transformation for the one who stays... and changes everything. Sign up: http://thirdpath.powerfulove.com [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbnhJYVVnc2hiSExsbDkxWF9RX0RkQU8yblNpUXxBQ3Jtc0ttcXluR3cxX1Jjd2NwNTRQMlNiZTN1QTJEN0pBNlhiLVNFMEE3RkxURHFfaGM0bjFHcGV4RzBHU1Q5eHJnOERORi0wdWhNc29GTnNXY1BpMGRCcExCNFpzV255Wk1NbFVtU1hqMFVkTHNYeElCbXU2TQ&q=http%3A%2F%2Fthirdpath.powerfulove.com%2F&v=0KOlxj6qwZw]CONNECT WITH JENI:Facebook: facebook.com/jeni.wahligLinkedIn: @in/drjeniwahligWebsite: powerfulove.comGo deeper inside The Relationship Revolution Community — the space where powerful women (and the partners who love them) learn to lead love differently, with truth, courage, and support. Learn more and join here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FA... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbXQxTElnQTY0b1hfLVk1VjRZa2FvZjEteXBRd3xBQ3Jtc0ttU21qSEFKOUQyNU9hc0lCNUthTE9jSlhPZzRHZVhMRXhLSTgwbHNUbmlsSGh2clBvRFlHeE45LUp3NThCdERsbXdMekpxdTRsWHNEc2thTWIwSEI1LS1QcTY2ci1VODhMNk9XQW1KUWJPM2VwOTMwOA&q=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fforms%2Fd%2Fe%2F1FAIpQLScAIj7diqMCOdLDH4Ufg1X8hQRZLWnTTryE2SxbQDuvqDFf1A%2Fviewform&v=0KOlxj6qwZw]Subscribe to our YouTube channel for all Catalyst Conversations:    / @powerfulove   [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3yVd52IcRRG_lljev2BB3A]

How to Stop Following Someone Else's Relationship Script and Design Your Own Love Life | Ali Hendry

You're following a relationship script you never got to read first. Most of us inherited our ideas about love from our parents, from movies, from a culture that had very specific ideas about how relationships were supposed to go. We assumed our partner inherited the same script And then we collided around the parts nobody ever talked about. In this episode of Catalyst Conversations, Dr. Jeni Wahlig sits down with Ali Hendry ICF Master Certified relationship and diversity coach, TEDx speaker on jealousy, and Diva Magazine's relationship columnist for a conversation that gives you permission to stop inheriting a relationship and start designing one. You'll hear:- What 'love style' is and how to consciously choose yours - Why jealousy is an unmet need not a personality flaw- The difference between rules, agreements, and boundaries (and why it matters)- What conscious monogamy actually looks like even if nonmonogamy isn't for you The question Ali left us with that makes your next step undeniable This episode is part of the Proud Love series: Celebrating Queer Perspectives on Love, Identity & Living Out Loud.Ready to write your own script? Go deeper inside The Relationship Revolution Community, the space where powerful women (and the partners who love them) learn to lead love differently, with truth, courage, and support.Learn more and join here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScAIj7diqMCOdLDH4Ufg1X8hQRZLWnTTryE2SxbQDuvqDFf1A/viewformSubscribe to our YouTube channel for all Catalyst Conversations: https://www.youtube.com/@powerfulove---GUEST RESOURCES:Learn more about Ali at https://alihendry.co.uk/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ali-hendryInstagram: @alihendrycoaching

Questioning Your Identity, Relationships & Gender Scripts | Queer Perspectives on Liberation with Kelz Cousins

There is no normal. So stop trying to be it.On Juneteenth and on their birthday therapist, liberation educator, and artist Kelz Cousins joined Dr. Jeni Wahlig for one of the most paradigm-disrupting conversations in Catalyst Conversations history. Kelz specializes in queer communities, consensually non-monogamous relationships, kink, and neurodivergence. Their work is grounded in liberation, pleasure, informed consent, and the radical belief that healing is shaped by the systems we live in...not just our individual experiences. In this episode:• Why so few people question the scripts they were handed and what finally opens the jar• The difference between defaulting to a relationship structure and consciously, consensually choosing it • The fear of self-discovery that keeps us in our box and what lives on the other side• The Wheel of Consent: a tool for every relationship, not just romantic or sexual ones• How choosing ... even the same choice ... dissolves resentment and restores power This is Episode 3 of Proud Love: Celebrating Queer Perspectives on Love, Identity & Living Out Loud. New episodes drop every Friday at 12:30 PM Pacific. 🚀 Go deeper inside The Relationship Revolution Community... The space where powerful women (and the partners who love them) learn to lead love differently -- with truth, courage, and support. 🔗 Learn more and join here: ⁠https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FA... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqazNXMmpNNHJYQnBoX2JwWjhzZy1USHFrMVR2Z3xBQ3Jtc0tuSEs3bUNKbDN5YjJfNUtJSHNvdHExQXpWWWliSVVaeHdWckQtWDVPLXJjVU8zNGVHcDJPeHp5MHdCZHIyR05CRlg3V0MzR0pTcktlQ1d6ZWNtblhuNTlKdGlIWk1RZ2NMbXEzNzR4b2xOa2xpcGk2MA&q=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fforms%2Fd%2Fe%2F1FAIpQLScAIj7diqMCOdLDH4Ufg1X8hQRZLWnTTryE2SxbQDuvqDFf1A%2Fviewform&v=cf46pExRjTk] ⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqazNXMmpNNHJYQnBoX2JwWjhzZy1USHFrMVR2Z3xBQ3Jtc0tuSEs3bUNKbDN5YjJfNUtJSHNvdHExQXpWWWliSVVaeHdWckQtWDVPLXJjVU8zNGVHcDJPeHp5MHdCZHIyR05CRlg3V0MzR0pTcktlQ1d6ZWNtblhuNTlKdGlIWk1RZ2NMbXEzNzR4b2xOa2xpcGk2MA&q=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fforms%2Fd%2Fe%2F1FAIpQLScAIj7diqMCOdLDH4Ufg1X8hQRZLWnTTryE2SxbQDuvqDFf1A%2Fviewform&v=cf46pExRjTk]📺 Subscribe to our YouTube channel for all Catalyst Conversations: ⁠   / @powerfulove  ⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3yVd52IcRRG_lljev2BB3A] Check out Kelz's first solo art exhibition Read My Lips: Silence Is Still Death happening this Pride Month:⁠https://www.eventbrite.com/e/june-exh... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbWhHQ2hLalZUelR5aFMwUWFxMWFQN1o0Z19Ed3xBQ3Jtc0ttdjVDY0ZESzFNb0puNXZVX203NHIyVjMxa2lqQUtSRkE3RzV4YnNENlhWUjh5cEotdFJBZDljVmZBWERoX0p1YVd0VXVEa29OdzdBaGFKS05xVHlYa3ZGd3B3NC10R2oySzZ6bDlyVGpVZGYtdlhLZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.eventbrite.com%2Fe%2Fjune-exhibition-at-the-congregation-read-my-lips-silence-is-still-death-tickets-1990569214104&v=amz5nNJCCEo] ⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbWhHQ2hLalZUelR5aFMwUWFxMWFQN1o0Z19Ed3xBQ3Jtc0ttdjVDY0ZESzFNb0puNXZVX203NHIyVjMxa2lqQUtSRkE3RzV4YnNENlhWUjh5cEotdFJBZDljVmZBWERoX0p1YVd0VXVEa29OdzdBaGFKS05xVHlYa3ZGd3B3NC10R2oySzZ6bDlyVGpVZGYtdlhLZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.eventbrite.com%2Fe%2Fjune-exhibition-at-the-congregation-read-my-lips-silence-is-still-death-tickets-1990569214104&v=amz5nNJCCEo]Learn more about Kelz and find all their links at:⁠https://linktr.ee/kelzcreates [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa2oxNDZ0TUxlcTUtbFAwdFNTYUlrc2xyc2RqZ3xBQ3Jtc0treVNjVkdzd0o3b1hrRkZibnZtR0dhRHNySFlEX25hTlkyZ2l6ZkgzRHFYQ25Zd0VZVFFLSHRXQUFBekxjcllTblliUEN4ZFN2RWlhYVhWSmhZNTRaNXNaNzFHajR5UlFTTkJCTXlCc29WbTRVdXdNWQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Flinktr.ee%2Fkelzcreates&v=amz5nNJCCEo]

The Real Cost of Building a Queer Family (Money, Grief & What Actually Helps) | Proud Love Ep. 2

A surrogacy journey in the US can run a quarter of a million dollars for one child. And that's only the cost you can put on a spreadsheet. This week's guest is Sam Leeson, founder of babyREADY, host of the Becoming Baby Ready podcast (now in its fifth season), and a birth worker and educator who has supported queer families for nearly three decades, from the very beginning of their journey through their first years of parenting. In this episode you'll hear: The real financial numbers behind queer family creation, and why they've climbed so dramatically over the last twenty years. The “anxiety cost” that doesn't show up on any invoice the what-ifs about paperwork, donors, and outcomes that live in the body long after a decision is made. How legal and political realities shape what's even possible, depending on where you live. What “implications counseling” is, and why finding the right person for it matters so much. And why having one consistent person who truly understands your whole story can be, in Sam's words, game changing and life saving. This is episode two of our Proud Love series, where every June we center two-spirit and LGBTQIA+ voices, stories, and truths. If this conversation lands for you, share it with someone walking this road right now. 🚀 Go deeper inside The Relationship Revolution Community... The space where powerful women (and the partners who love them) learn to lead love differently -- with truth, courage, and support.🔗 Learn more and join here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FA... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbU5Ba3NZTWlZVjQtYl92dVBwaGlTU1NfWlB3Z3xBQ3Jtc0tuWklybUoycTI5clhDOWh1MXdYaHpkSlRwQ1lzMW11cTVLaDFDM3BfYnB5bHc2cGdUTjgyRUM4RlRQTjhmWXVfaDZiWl9zV2Q3VmJnTEJmSGNUNXZGUGp2X2dKZkswc0lJdXdqNlVmUHZ0Nm1rZkhicw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fforms%2Fd%2Fe%2F1FAIpQLScAIj7diqMCOdLDH4Ufg1X8hQRZLWnTTryE2SxbQDuvqDFf1A%2Fviewform&v=cf46pExRjTk]📺 Subscribe to our YouTube channel for all Catalyst Conversations:    / @powerfulove   [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3yVd52IcRRG_lljev2BB3A]For answers to questions you didn't even know you had, visit babyREADY.infowww.babyREADY.infoListen to Sam's podcast, becoming babyREADY:https://www.babyready.info/podcast [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbHZNQllnbEwxak9ZYWE1ZFRLb25zZVBiYTNEUXxBQ3Jtc0trSllxVkhFNEJ0TlBtR2RJYjNFQm5Uc0ozMEFzV2V2QzhjZzlFeHpVX196X0gzYjZkVm1iWXhTTmlqeFcydXUxb1p3dW1XTWt0ZjNzbXF3cU5iU2tzZWRwd2hGLVJXTGFqYlJibDV6eENBUWlXMHJhTQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babyready.info%2Fpodcast&v=cf46pExRjTk]

My Queer Identity Story: Bisexual, Lesbian, Genderqueer, Graysexual . How I Stopped Thinking Something Was Wrong With Me

She thought something was wrong with her for decades. She was wrong about that. In this episode the first in the Proud Love Series Dr. Jeni Wahlig tells her own identity story in full for the very first time: queerness, genderqueer identity, graysexuality, and polyamory. A doctorate in marriage and family therapy, fifteen years as a clinician, and she still spent twenty years cycling through labels that each held some of her and none of her fully. In this episode you’ll hear: * The moment Jeni lost her best friend at 16 and what she locked away because of it * Years of thinking her body was broken, and the book (Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski) that finally named what was actually happening * What graysexuality is, and how understanding it transformed her relationship with intimacy * How she went from bisexual to lesbian to performing butch to performing femme and finally landing in genderqueer * The moment on the Appalachian Trail that reassembled her entire understanding of attraction * The teaching she wants every listener to take: identity is not a destination. It’s a living thing. You keep becoming. Queer or not, this episode is for anyone who has ever thought something was wrong with them for who they are, who they’ve been, or who they’re still becoming. This is episode two of our Proud Love series, where every June we center two-spirit and LGBTQIA+ voices, stories, and truths. If this conversation lands for you, share it with someone walking this road right now. 🚀 Go deeper inside The Relationship Revolution Community... The space where powerful women (and the partners who love them) learn to lead love differently -- with truth, courage, and support.🔗 Learn more and join here: ⁠https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FA...⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbU5Ba3NZTWlZVjQtYl92dVBwaGlTU1NfWlB3Z3xBQ3Jtc0tuWklybUoycTI5clhDOWh1MXdYaHpkSlRwQ1lzMW11cTVLaDFDM3BfYnB5bHc2cGdUTjgyRUM4RlRQTjhmWXVfaDZiWl9zV2Q3VmJnTEJmSGNUNXZGUGp2X2dKZkswc0lJdXdqNlVmUHZ0Nm1rZkhicw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fforms%2Fd%2Fe%2F1FAIpQLScAIj7diqMCOdLDH4Ufg1X8hQRZLWnTTryE2SxbQDuvqDFf1A%2Fviewform&v=cf46pExRjTk] 📺 Subscribe to our YouTube channel for all Catalyst Conversations: ⁠   / @powerfulove  ⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3yVd52IcRRG_lljev2BB3A]