Downward Facing Dogma

Neuro, but Make it Spicy. Women and Late ADHD Diagnosis

Does the Plumbing Still Work? Women’s Health, Being Ignored, and a Late ADHD Glow-UpClaire hosts a solo Salty Hoes episode while Mel is still on vacation, apologizes for prior audio issues, and tees up a return to the duo format next week. Sparked by a Love Island comment doubting whether a 52-year-old woman’s plumbing still "works that way," and a scene from The Pitt about misdiagnosing a woman’s heart attack due to misplaced EKG leads, she discusses how women’s symptoms are minimized or misattributed to hormones, periods, pregnancy, or postpartum. She shares late-life diagnoses discovered around age 49–50... an extra rib, scoliosis, a connective tissue disorder, adenomyosis, and ADHD, and a postpartum blood clot that wasn’t taken seriously. She describes how ADHD is often missed in women due to a lack of research centered on women, inattentive presentation, masking, and diagnostic overshadowing. Claire shares her testing, symptoms, shame spirals, and the immediate benefits and side effects of stimulant medication, along with coping tools like lists, alarms, and planning outfits.00:00 Solo Episode Setup01:21 Love Island Spark03:36 TV Misdiagnosis Moment06:44 Not Listening to Women08:30 Late Health Discoveries14:57 Hopeful OBGYN Story18:15 ADHD in Women Explained21:04 Testing and Diagnosis22:38 Childhood Signs29:07 Adult Struggles and Shame40:46 Meds and Mind Quiet47:57 Strengths and Coping Tools57:58 Wrap Up and Goodbye

Actually, Let Us Finish. A History of Mansplaining.

Claire and Mel reunite virtually from opposite sides of the world, comparing dating-app scenes in Ireland, Australia, America, and Italy (beards help, fish pics persist, and follow-through is rare), and swapping travel/food notes, including long Sydney dinners and barramundi. They pivot to a deep dive on mansplaining, sparked by Mel’s 11-hour Australian bus tour where a confident male guide delivered extensive, factually incorrect lectures on evolution, climate, indigenous health, cancer, and even urged people to lick a lemony ant “butthole.” They discuss how mansplaining relies on confidence, unsolicited advice, presumed inferiority, and condescension, sharing examples from dates, gyms, yoga, and a Swedish man explaining the North of Ireland to Claire. They explore causes from social conditioning and implicit bias to power moves, and suggest asking questions, using flowcharts, or calling it out.00:00 Long Distance Catch Up03:26 Dating Apps Abroad06:27 Italy Retreat Dreams07:10 Food Tours and Mussels08:53 Today’s Topic Mansplaining09:34 Eleven Hour Tour Guide18:25 Confidence and Gender24:36 Mansplaining on Dates31:38 Explaining Your Own Home34:36 Bread Tour Mansplain35:17 Unsolicited Advice Stories38:07 Gym and Yoga Boundaries41:04 Presumed Inferiority Responses43:47 Condescending Tone on Dates47:46 Why Mansplaining Happens48:56 Benign Praise Conditioning52:26 Bias and Confidence Myths58:09 Power and Dominance Plays01:00:20 Flowcharts and Calling It Out01:03:21 Final Stop Mansplaining exmormon midlife dating divorced

The ultimate Love Island, which has nothing to do with the TV show

The Ultimate Love Island: Survival Skills (Patriarchy Edition)Claire hosts solo while Mel is away, recording late due to travel and jet lag after trips to Kraków, Belfast, Galway, and the Aran Islands (Inishmaan). Reflecting on a decade of solo travel, she connects the isolation and “coupling” premise of Love Island to patriarchal relationship dynamics through the 1890s eco-feminist novel Gránia: The Story of an Island, which critiques marriage as a transaction, women’s exploited labor, and women being labeled “too much.” She links the book’s themes to her experiences as a young Mormon wife juggling motherhood, a PhD, paid work, and unequal domestic/emotional labor, and to a later relationship where a man leveraged her resources. She cites an Oprah interview with Rachel Louise Snyder (No Visible Bruises) noting domestic violence is rising and argues blame is wrongly placed on women; change comes from saying no to intolerable partnerships, demanding men step up, and addressing systemic harm.00:00 Welcome and Setup01:47 Travel Recap and Solo Trips05:09 Grania and Inishmaan06:45 Love Island 08:30 Ecofeminism and Marriage Critique15:02 Dark Domestic Scene Excerpt & being a Mormon Wife20:18 Honor and Being Consumed25:05 Screaming at the Cliff27:18 Benevolent Sexism and Mormon Life32:16 Not Enough and Too Much37:38 Domestic Violence and Blame44:24 What Do We Do Now & Ex-Mormon & Ex-Wife Life49:45 Closing Thoughts and Hope Mormon Exmormon Divorce Emotional Labor

Tales from Tinder

Join Mel as she dives into her Tinder likes queue and looks through the many exciting local profiles! From ethical non-monogamy to weird kinks, there is something here for everyone!

Things Not to Say to a Divorcée

The Salty Hoes connected from across the sea to bring you this episode! Claire and Mel talk about Claire's European adventure and reminisce about divorce, child support, and how to interact with your recently divorced friends. Enjoy?