Scenic Route, Social Change and Mental Health for Tired Perfectionists

You Can't Even Pick What You Want for Lunch. Let's Talk About That feat. Jillian Reilly

Here's the thing nobody tells you: the way you order at a restaurant says A LOT about how you move through life. Are you the person who waits to hear what everyone else is getting before you decide? Do you need everyone's opinion before you can choose? Are you picking what you want, and it feels weirdly vulnerable? Yeah. We need to talk. In this episode, I sit down with Jillian Reilly, author of Ten Permissions: How to Stop Waiting and Start Living, to talk about why so many of us can't make the smallest choices for ourselves, and what that says about the bigger life we're (not) living. We dig into: * Why approval-seeking starts at lunch and ends with your whole identity * The terror of wanting something no one else validates * How to build choice-making muscles before you blow up your life * Why pleasure isn't selfish (and might be the most strategic thing you can practice) * What happens when the old rules stop working, and there's no new manual This conversation is for the overthinkers, the people-pleasers, the ones who've spent decades being "good" and are now sitting in the rubble of what that actually got them. About Jillian Reilly Jillian Reilly is a founder, author, and keynote speaker. Having spent her 30-year career working in social, organisational, and individual change across Africa, Asia, and Central Europe, Jillian’s focus is on helping people unlock their ability to navigate change and accelerate growth and learning. Jillian’s book, The Ten Permissions, guides readers in permitting themselves to update how they operate in the 21st century and design lives that fully leverage the possibilities of this disruptive world. Jillian is a TEDX speaker and podcast host who has been published on international affairs in the Washington Post, Newsweek and the LA Times.  Find Jillian * Website: tenpermissions.com [https://tenpermissions.com/] Send me a DM [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2004940/open_sms] _____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/] – your cosy tree house where tired perfectionists and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change. 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION * Follow on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/itsjenniferwalter/] * Follow on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjenniferwalter] * Follow on Threads [https://www.threads.net/@itsjenniferwalter] 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations] is your online invitation to trust your inner voice again. What does your card say? Share it with me! 👉 Pull Your Free Card [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=buzzsprout] ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW? If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review. It helps other women find their way to the Scenic Route.

When Everything Feels Too Much: One Small Change Still Matters

There's a particular moment many of us know well — when everything feels like too much. Not dramatically, but quietly, heavily, relentlessly. You're still functioning, still showing up, but inside, something is fraying. And the most painful part? The story you tell yourself about it: I should be able to handle this. In this episode, we explore why overwhelm isn't a personal failure — it's a predictable outcome when multiple vulnerabilities align. Using insights from the Swiss Cheese Model and Paul Gilbert's three emotional systems, we unpack why your nervous system can't "just cope" when recovery is structurally unavailable. This isn't about becoming stronger. It's about understanding why one small change can still matter — even when everything feels impossible. We'll explore: * Why overwhelm is rarely about one thing — it's an accumulation of pressures that align * How the Swiss Cheese Model explains why burnout happens when recovery becomes impossible * The three emotional systems (Threat, Drive, and Soothing) and why modern life keeps two constantly activated * Why your nervous system needs recovery cycles, not just more willpower * How one small change can close one vulnerability — and why that matters * Why resistance to small changes is often a sign of how depleted you are Send me a DM [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2004940/open_sms] _____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/] – your cosy tree house where tired perfectionists and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change. 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION * Follow on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/itsjenniferwalter/] * Follow on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjenniferwalter] * Follow on Threads [https://www.threads.net/@itsjenniferwalter] 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations] is your online invitation to trust your inner voice again. What does your card say? Share it with me! 👉 Pull Your Free Card [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=buzzsprout] ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW? If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review. It helps other women find their way to the Scenic Route.

Weekly Affirmation – Letting Go

Pause for a breath you didn't know you were holding. This soft landing is for the woman who's been holding it together so well that no one thinks to ask if she's okay. This week's affirmation: "The strategies, steps, decisions that got me here served their purpose — I release them with grace." You don't have to carry what no longer fits. You don't have to make letting go mean you failed. What got you here won't always get you where you're going. And that's okay. This weekend, ask yourself: What am I holding onto simply because it once worked? Thank it. And let it go. New Soft Landings every Friday. Save this. Share it. Come back to it when you need the reminder. 🤍 About Soft Landings: Every Friday on The Scenic Route, one grounded affirmation to help you rest, reset, and remember who you are. Send me a DM [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2004940/open_sms] _____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/] – your cosy tree house where tired perfectionists and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change. 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION * Follow on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/itsjenniferwalter/] * Follow on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjenniferwalter] * Follow on Threads [https://www.threads.net/@itsjenniferwalter] 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations] is your online invitation to trust your inner voice again. What does your card say? Share it with me! 👉 Pull Your Free Card [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=buzzsprout] ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW? If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review. It helps other women find their way to the Scenic Route.

Something's Off And It's Not Your Vision Board: The Capacity Conundrum

You've done the vision boards. Set the goals. Showed up with discipline. And still – something feels off. If you're a high achiever who's done all the things and still doesn't feel like you've arrived, this one's for you. Jessica Eley breaks down why smart, driven women stay stuck even when they know what they want. Spoiler: it's not your vision, your strategy, or your discipline. It's your capacity – your ability to handle not just what you want, but everything that comes with it. We talk about: * Why "I don't know what I want" is about being unpracticed, not broken * The real reason you might be more afraid of success than failure * Why labelling things good/bad keeps you small * How your nervous system determines your income ceiling * The balance between owning what you want and having the capacity to handle it This Episode Is For You If: * You've done the vision board thing and you're still stuck * You hit your goals and felt... nothing * You want more but can't seem to let yourself reach for it * You're tired of being the strong one but don't know how to be different * You keep trying new strategies but the same patterns keep showing up * You're doing everything right and still feel like something's missing * You're starting to wonder if the problem isn't your plan — it's something no one's named yet This isn't about manifesting harder or the next manifestation hack. It's about meeting yourself where you are and building from there. Guest: Jessica Eley: coach for high achievers creating success on their own terms Connect: @iamjesseley [https://www.instagram.com/iamjesseley/] Send me a DM [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2004940/open_sms] _____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/] – your cosy tree house where tired perfectionists and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change. 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION * Follow on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/itsjenniferwalter/] * Follow on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjenniferwalter] * Follow on Threads [https://www.threads.net/@itsjenniferwalter] 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations] is your online invitation to trust your inner voice again. What does your card say? Share it with me! 👉 Pull Your Free Card [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=buzzsprout] ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW? If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review. It helps other women find their way to the Scenic Route.

Weekly Affirmation – The Good Daughter

Pause for a breath you didn't know you were holding. This soft landing is for the woman who's been holding it together so well that no one thinks to ask if she's okay. The affirmation: "I am allowed to disappoint people and still be good." Goodness isn't measured by how much access others have to you, but by how honestly you honour your limits. We examine why performance – the relentless yes, the full calendar, the reflex to fix – feels like safety, yet slowly erases our needs. And why boundaries aren't conflict. They're clarity. For perfectionists, oldest daughters, people-pleasers, and women unlearning the performance of strength. Choose yourself without apologising, so your next yes can be wholehearted. About Soft Landings: Every Friday on The Scenic Route, one grounded affirmation to help you rest, reset, and remember who you are. Send me a DM [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2004940/open_sms] _____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/] – your cosy tree house where tired perfectionists and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change. 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION * Follow on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/itsjenniferwalter/] * Follow on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjenniferwalter] * Follow on Threads [https://www.threads.net/@itsjenniferwalter] 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations] is your online invitation to trust your inner voice again. What does your card say? Share it with me! 👉 Pull Your Free Card [https://www.jenniferwalter.me/scenic-route-affirmations?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=buzzsprout] ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW? If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review. It helps other women find their way to the Scenic Route.