The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - Gas Groceries Weight-loss

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - Iran AI Worms

The audio is above. The House passed a resolution aimed at ending the Iran War, which means Congress has reached the “maybe we should discuss the war” portion of the war. UN researchers warn AI could double data center power and water use by 2030, because the cloud is apparently a hot building that needs a lake. A Florida family is suing Campbell’s and Walmart after claiming their SpaghettiOs had moving worms or parasites, which violates the basic canned pasta agreement. If you’re listening regularly and haven’t subscribed yet, that’s how you get this every weekday. Sources: The Hill, Reuters, New York Post. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - Dinner Ultra Masters

The audio is above. The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is back on for July 24th, Trump says he’ll attend, and Washington’s strangest tuxedo gathering now comes with upgraded security. Michelob Ultra has passed Bud Light as America’s top-selling beer by volume in bars and restaurants, proving the country still wants beer — just beer that feels like it owns running shoes. The 2027 Masters ticket lottery is open through June 20th, giving golf fans another chance to be politely rejected by Augusta National in July. If you’re listening regularly and haven’t subscribed yet, that’s how you get this every weekday. Sources: AP, PennLive, Golf.com. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - Late Night Cruise Joe’s

The audio is above. Byron Allen takes over CBS late night, makes the network money, and somehow the media reaction is still about rich, white, male hosts defending another rich, white, male host. Carnival reported that nearly six million cruise travelers may have had personal information exposed, because apparently, identity theft now boards before you do. Trader Joe’s is opening twenty-five new stores, which is wonderful news for anyone who enjoys frozen dumplings and parking lots designed during a hostage situation. Yes, this one runs a little over four minutes, because apparently three stories needed overtime today. If you’re listening regularly and haven’t subscribed yet, that’s how you get this every weekday. Sources: The Hollywood Reporter, The Hill, PennLive. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - Hormuz Stroke Gurus

Audio is above. Iranian state TV says there may be an unofficial draft framework with the U.S. to reopen commercial shipping through the Strait of Hormuz, but the deal is already running into trouble. Jill Biden now says she feared Joe Biden was having a stroke during the 2024 debate, which is quite the update from the post-debate “great job” spin. And desperate single men are reportedly paying thousands to online dating gurus for profile audits, AI photos, and the chance to become “elite,” because apparently romance needed a consulting package. Subscribe to get The Snark Factor 3 in 3 every weekday. Sources: Reuters, CNN, New York Post. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - AI Pineapples Biscuits

Audio is above. Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, says AI probably won’t bring the jobs apocalypse, which is reassuring in the way a volcano saying “relax” is reassuring. Royal Caribbean is cracking down on cruise cabin door decorations, and the upside-down pineapple community may never emotionally recover. Popeyes is bringing biscuit mix to grocery stores, so America can finally make edible drywall in the privacy of its own home. If you’re listening regularly and haven’t subscribed yet, that’s how you get this every weekday. Sources: Reuters, New York Post. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]