The Instagram Lie About Life Abroad

Driving in China is HELL

In China, you can have a green light and still be found 40% at fault for hitting a scooter that ran a red light. That single event contains a cultural logic completely alien to the West. Dr. Cole Puterbaugh uses the daily act of driving in Shanghai to decode the unwritten rules of Chinese society. What looks like aggressive selfishness—cars pushing into lanes, pedestrians ignoring traffic—is often a symptom of a different social contract. In a place of extreme population density, the Western idea of an individual’s 'right-of-way' gives way to a system of shared, hierarchical responsibility. The bigger you are, Cole explains, the more responsibility you bear, shifting the onus of safety from the jaywalker to the driver. It is a system built not on abstract laws, but on immediate, concentric circles of relationships. This is a world governed by a logic of social obligation, not individual rights. — Join the newsletter and read the essays: https://12yearsout.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@12yearsout Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4b4FiiXIUDscBAVHIDO3lO Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/12-years-out-with-cole-puterbaugh/id1891583275 Follow Cole on X: https://x.com/coleputerbaugh

The Instagram Lie About Life Abroad

An encounter with fentanyl users in Philadelphia reveals a hard truth about the idyllic 'life abroad' sold by Instagram influencers. Dr. Cole Puterbaugh argues that the curated perfection on social media is a lie designed to capture your attention. The promise of escape is a fantasy; in reality, life overseas is not an upgrade but a trade-off. "You cannot escape the challenges in front of you," Cole says. "You can only trade them for other challenges." From the air pollution of Southeast Asia to the chaotic traffic in unnamed cities, the daily reality of being an outsider involves friction. This episode contrasts the monetizable visuals of online creators with the uncomfortable, non-Instagrammable truths of global life—from ubiquitous poverty to rising anti-foreigner sentiment. It asks a critical question for any aspiring expat: are you running from your problems, or are you consciously choosing a new set of them? — Join the newsletter and read the essays: https://12yearsout.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@12yearsout Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4b4FiiXIUDscBAVHIDO3lO Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/12-years-out-with-cole-puterbaugh/id1891583275 Follow Cole on X: https://x.com/coleputerbaugh

Leaving Your Home Country is Overrated

The dream of moving abroad to escape a bad job or a bad boss often ends with a flight home in failure—or worse, a mess for someone else to clean up. Many aspiring expats imagine a new life in Thailand or China will solve their problems, but Dr. Cole Puterbaugh argues this is a flimsy premise for uprooting a life. The lived reality of being an outsider, navigating inconvenient isolation, and losing your familiar support systems is a trade-off many fail to properly weigh. Drawing on his own 12 years in China—a country he still doesn't love or hate more than the United States—Cole makes a distinction between the reasons for leaving and the reasons for staying. He contends that if you are running from loneliness, career frustration, or family drama, those problems will inevitably follow. You participate in your own problems, and they will replicate themselves in a new location. Leaving your country only works if you are intentionally transitioning to a new community, not just fleeing the old one. This is a sober argument for anyone who has ever looked at a plane ticket as a solution. — Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@12yearsout Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4b4FiiXIUDscBAVHIDO3lO Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/12-years-out-with-cole-puterbaugh/id1891583275 Follow Cole on X: https://x.com/coleputerbaugh

How to Make it Through Your First Year Abroad

How do you survive your first year living abroad? In this episode of 12 Years Out with Cole Puterbaugh, I talk about what actually matters during your first year overseas. Living abroad is not just about opportunity or freedom. It is an emotional shift where everything becomes more intense. The highs feel higher and the difficult moments feel heavier. I break down the role of community, why learning the language changes your experience, and how to balance comfort with discomfort. I also talk about why you need something to move toward, not just something you are trying to leave behind. This episode is for anyone considering moving abroad or trying to make sense of their first year living in a new country. Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4b4FiiXIUDscBAVHIDO3lO Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/12-years-out-with-cole-puterbaugh/id1891583275 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@12yearsout X (Twitter): https://x.com/coleputerbaugh [https://x.com/coleputerbaugh]

Who You Become When You Leave Home

Who do you become when you leave your home country? In this episode of 12 Years Out with Cole Puterbaugh, I explore how living abroad reshapes identity over time. You don’t just relocate—you begin to evolve into something different. Some people become builders, creating a new life in a new place. Others become returners, eventually pulled back home. And some remain in a constant state of transition, never fully rooted anywhere. Drawing on personal experience and real stories, I break down how these paths develop, why they happen, and what it takes to build a stable identity while living abroad. This episode looks at the deeper psychological and cultural shifts that come with leaving home—and what it means for your long-term sense of self. Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4b4FiiXIUDscBAVHIDO3lO [https://open.spotify.com/show/4b4FiiXIUDscBAVHIDO3lO] Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/12-years-out-with-cole-puterbaugh/id1891583275 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/12-years-out-with-cole-puterbaugh/id1891583275] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@12yearsout [https://www.youtube.com/@12yearsout] X (Twitter): https://x.com/coleputerbaugh [https://x.com/coleputerbaugh]