10% Happier with Dan Harris

Buddhist Strategies for Protecting Yourself from Everyday Chaos | Bart van Melik

Ever lie awake at night replaying all the moments you lost it with your kids, your partner, or your co-workers? You're not alone. Bart van Melik is back on the show (his first appearance was four years ago) as our Teacher of the Month for January. Bart has one of the more interesting origin stories in the meditation world: from a small town in the Netherlands to Kenya on an exchange program (where he met his wife of 30 years), to studying in Thailand, to teaching meditation to teenagers in juvenile detention in the South Bronx. In this conversation with executive producer DJ Cashmere, we talk about: * The difference between being mindful and knowing you're mindful (and why this matters when your 11-year-old is pushing every button) * Why awareness feels like protection * How to stop the cycle of: snap, regret, repeat * What Bart learned teaching meditation to kids in juvie who told him his meditation was "lit" * Why your kids might be your fiercest Zen teachers * The surprising power of saying "no" without aversion * How everything actually goes faster when you stop rushing * His favorite teaching from a modern-day monk: "Keep calmly knowing change" Related Resources: * Bart's previous episode on insight dialogue and relational meditation practice [https://open.substack.com/pub/danharris/p/a-pressure-cooker-for-insight-bart-a26?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web] * New guided meditations from Bart available throughout January [https://app.danharris.com/c/meditation-library/] Join Dan's online community here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

How To Rewrite Your Story, Make Peace with the Past, and Break Old Patterns | Melissa Febos

Practical ways to upgrade your narrative. Melissa Febos [https://www.melissafebos.com/] is the national bestselling author of five books, including Girlhood [https://www.melissafebos.com/girlhood], Body Work: The Radical Power of Personal Narrative [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/691717/body-work-by-melissa-febos/9781646220854/], and a new memoir, The Dry Season [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/725681/the-dry-season-by-melissa-febos/]. She is the recipient of awards and fellowships from the Guggenheim Foundation, the National Endowment for the Arts and others. Her work has appeared in The Paris Review, The New Yorker, The Best American Essays and others. She is a professor at the University of Iowa. In this episode we talk about: * How to "audit" your personal narrative with simple questions * Melissa's five-step method for rewriting unhelpful stories * Why community, and vulnerability are required for real change; in other words, why it's harder to do this work alone * Melissa's own experiences running this playbook with regard to her relationships and her addictions. Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

How To Use Psychology and Buddhism To Handle Your Inner Critic | Amita Schmidt

How psychology and spirituality can work together. Amita Schmidt [https://amitaschmidt.com/] is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Hawaii. She has taught Vipassana meditation for over thirty years, and was the Resident Teacher at Insight Meditation Society for six years. She is the author of the book Dipa Ma: The Life and Legacy of a Buddhist Master. [https://dipama.com/book/] Amita currently teaches and practices non-dual meditation and is a certified IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapist. In this episode we talk about: * How psychology and spirituality can work together * The basics of Internal Family Systems (or IFS) * Amita's personal path through trauma, depression, and a pivotal insight that changed everything * Why states like depression aren't as solid as they feel * How to work with the inner critic * Simple ways to access the sanest, wisest version of yourself * The shift from psychological healing to spiritual insight * The value of acceptance and surrender * Simple pointers for sensing "aware presence" beneath all the mental noise Related Episodes: * How (and Why) to Hug Your Inner Dragons | Richard Schwartz [https://app.danharris.com/c/10-happier-podcast/how-and-why-to-hug-your-inner-dragons-richard-schwartz] * How To Handle Your Demons | Richard Schwartz [https://app.danharris.com/c/10-happier-podcast/how-to-handle-your-demons-richard-schwartz] Additional resources: * Amita on InsightTimer [https://insighttimer.com/amitaschmidt] * Amita on DharmaSeed [https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/251/] Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris] Thanks to our sponsor: LinkedIn: Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a $250 credit for the next one. Just go to linkedin.com/happier [http://linkedin.com/happier].

Esther Perel: The Modern World Can Sap Your Life Force. Here's How To Recapture It.

The legendary psychotherapist unpacks the concept of "hostile dependency" and explains why cutting people off doesn't always work. Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel [https://www.estherperel.com/?1e8cce79_page=5&categories=Eroticism&tw_source=google&tw_adid=715080004713&tw_campaign=21749016432&tw_kwdid=dsa-19959388920&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21749016432&gbraid=0AAAAA93e13k9nA_EhLCsq-SVUpUeEhsyc&gclid=CjwKCAiAjc7KBhBvEiwAE2BDOWlolkyLNSd3QDajCDcZLzjEa0pVaAhpoETaM2agDQ1uzqqHFeglRRoCGQIQAvD_BwE] is a leading voice on modern relationships, known for her widely viewed TED Talks, bestselling books and the hit podcast. She runs a New York–based therapy practice and advises global organizations and platforms on the complexities of contemporary relationships. Follow Esther Perel's podcast Where Should We Begin? [https://www.estherperel.com/podcast] on YouTube, Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and subscribe to Entre Nous with Esther Perel [https://estherperel.substack.com/] on Substack for exclusive bonus content. In this episode we talk about: * What Esther Perel really means by eros * How modern life quietly depletes our sense of feeling alive * Why aliveness can coexist with grief, pain, and difficulty * The danger of numbness * Introverts, extroverts, and the many non-social ways we experience vitality * Vital sources of connection and meaning * Co-regulation, touch, presence, and why words alone aren't enough * "Hostile dependency" and the paradoxes of long-term relationships * Why loneliness has become normalized, and why it shouldn't be * How to rebuild community through small, practical acts * Rituals as a way to mark time, create meaning, and feel grounded * The tension between individualism, belonging, and responsibility to others Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris] Thanks to our sponsors: HomeServe: Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Go to homeserve.com [http://homeserve.com/] to find a plan that's right for you. LinkedIn: Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a $250 credit for the next one. Just go to linkedin.com/happier [http://linkedin.com/happier]. NOCD: Head over to nocd.com [http://nocd.com/] and book a free 15‑minute call with their team, to learn more and start getting help with OCD. OneSkin: Get up to 30% off your first three subscription orders when you use the code "happier" at OneSkin.co/happier [http://oneskin.co/happier].

Buddhist Hacks for Anxiety and Overthinking | Joseph Goldstein

Today we're gonna talk about some Buddhist hacks for two deeply related and all too common ailments: anxiety and overthinking. Most of us have struggled with one or both of these, and one of the people who has helped Dan the most is Joseph Goldstein. Regular listeners to this podcast will be familiar with Joseph and his very direct, very down-to-earth style, but if you don't know – let us introduce you. He's one of the foremost Buddhist teachers in the west, he's been Dan's teacher for about 15 years, and Dan's recently convinced him to write a book together, using a collection of these little phrases that he's cooked up over the years. Dan's been keeping a list of around a hundred or so tiny, useful phrases – bite-sized wisdom for meditation practice and for daily life. The book won't be out for a few years, but we're conducting a series of interviews with him, each one covering a few phrases, and we'll be releasing those here on the podcast. The first installment of these interviews about Joseph's phrases just came out on Thursday, Jan. 1, and you don't have to listen to that episode for this episode to make sense, but they are useful together. Today, we'll be covering: * The practice assessment tapes * Whatever works * Cowboy Dharma * Dead end * Is this useful * And a quartet about walking meditation: sensations moving through space, walking through space, walking in a dream, walking through the mind Don't worry if those don't make sense right now – stick with us and you'll get a thorough explanation of where those phrases all come from and how they can help. Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Thanks to our sponsor: LinkedIn: Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a $250 credit for the next one. Just go to linkedin.com/happier [http://linkedin.com/happier]. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]