The 5 Stages of Grief Are Wrong | Thomas Attig on Life After Loss

The 5 Stages of Grief Are Wrong | Thomas Attig on Life After Loss

What if grief is not something you “get over,” complete, or bring to closure? Applied philosopher and grief scholar Thomas Attig joins Malini Ondrovcik and Dr. Oren Amitay to challenge some of our most common assumptions about death, bereavement, and healing. Attig argues that the familiar five stages of grief were never designed to explain the experience of grieving after someone has died. Grief is not simply a sequence of emotions that eventually ends in acceptance. It is the active and deeply personal work of relearning how to live in a world permanently changed by loss. In this conversation, we explore: • Why the five stages of grief often fail grieving people • The difference between reacting to loss and responding to it • Why “closure” may be an unrealistic and harmful goal • How love can continue after someone dies • Whether moving forward dishonours the person you lost • How to hold love, anger, guilt, resentment, and forgiveness at the same time • What to say to someone who is grieving • Why clichés and attempts to “fix” grief often make things worse • How hope and meaning can coexist with sorrow Thomas Attig is the author of How We Grieve: Relearning the World, The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love, and Seeking Wisdom in Death’s Shadow. His work has helped reshape contemporary thinking about grief, bereavement, continuing bonds, and the human experience of loss. This episode includes discussion of death, suicide, bereavement, trauma, and the loss of a child. Viewer discretion is advised. Awake at the Wheel explores psychology, mental health, relationships, culture, and the difficult realities that shape how we live. Subscribe for more conversations with clinicians, researchers, authors, and thinkers examining the forces influencing our mental health and society. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction 00:40 Thomas Attig’s background in philosophy 02:16 Teaching death, dying, and grief 03:13 What grieving people actually experience 05:34 Grief means relearning the world 06:44 Seeking Wisdom in Death’s Shadow 08:06 Why grief is so difficult to discuss 08:46 What the five stages were actually designed to explain 11:10 Why the five stages do not describe grief 14:05 What traditional grief models miss 16:07 Reacting to loss versus responding to it 18:10 Finding hope within grief 21:17 Can love continue after death? 24:49 The finality of death and the myth of closure 27:35 Loving someone without idealizing the relationship 30:36 Holding conflicting emotions after a loss 32:51 Does moving forward dishonour the person who died? 35:02 Loving someone despite what they did 35:21 A father grieving his son’s suicide 38:53 Spirituality, forgiveness, and grief 40:48 The wrong ways to support someone who is grieving 41:45 What not to say after the death of a child 43:12 A meaningful way to offer support 44:03 What to say when you have no words 45:21 Where to find Thomas Attig’s work 48:15 Final thoughts on trauma and healing We want your questions! Send your questions to rounds@aatwpodcast.com, tweet us @awakepod, send us a message at facebook.com/awakepod, or leave a comment on this video! Email [rounds@aatwpodcast.com] Insta [https://www.instagram.com/aatwpod/] Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@awakepod] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/awakepod] Twitter [https://twitter.com/awakepod]

Social Media Turned Bullying Into Content

In this episode, Malini and Dr. Amitay delve into the alarming rise of the "flip the camera" trend, a form of online bullying that blends in-person humiliation with digital permanence. They explore how this behavior dehumanizes victims, amplifies cruelty, and the societal and developmental implications behind it. Main Topics: -The mechanics and evolution of the "flip the camera" bullying trend -The psychological impact on victims and the role of social media algorithms -The societal and developmental factors fueling this behavior -Legal and parental responsibilities in preventing cyberbullying -Strategies for parents, schools, and communities to address and mitigate online cruelty Timestamps: 00:00 - Introduction to the "flip the camera" trend and its connection to traditional bullying 1:48 - The problematic nature of the trend and its embedding in social hierarchy and public humiliation 2:42 - Dehumanization and desensitization of bullies and viewers 3:11 - The permanence and 24/7 nature of online bullying and its effects on victims 4:11 - Personal anecdotes and societal observations about the trend’s influence 4:59 - How viewing cruelty as entertainment dehumanizes others in real life 5:21 - Incidents escalating to violence, including cases where victims have shot their tormentors 6:29 - The role of demand and supply in the proliferation of harmful behavior online 7:13 - The normalization of humiliating pranks and their long-term impacts 8:30 - Media influence and the normalization of antisocial behavior through advertising 9:03 - Developmental aspects, particularly how social status drives teenage participation in bullying 10:13 - Parenting and educational responsibilities to curb this trend and enforce accountability 11:22 - The role of social media algorithms and legal frameworks in addressing online bullying 12:30 - The sociopathic nature of this behavior and the importance of accountability 13:45 - The normalization and escalation of cruelty fueled by social rewards and fame 14:39 - The harmful long-term consequences, including suicide, and societal responsibility 16:43 - Potential legal reform and the importance of teaching empathy and morality in schools 18:22 - The influence of social media on empathy development and social norms 19:33 - Early bullying behaviors and how technology exacerbates and amplifies them 20:22 - The importance of parental monitoring and setting examples for responsible online behavior 22:19 - Practical advice for parents on how children can avoid escalating or participating in online cruelty 23:16 - The importance of detachment and not engaging in bullying, lessons for parents and children 23:54 - Encouraging audience reflection on the trend's popularity and societal impact 24:09 - Closing remarks and final thoughts on responsible social media use and community action Note: The episode emphasizes the importance of societal, parental, and educational efforts in combatting online cruelty and fostering empathy among youth. We want your questions! Send your questions to rounds@aatwpodcast.com, tweet us @awakepod, send us a message at facebook.com/awakepod, or leave a comment on this video! Email [rounds@aatwpodcast.com] Insta [https://www.instagram.com/aatwpod/] Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@awakepod] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/awakepod] Twitter [https://twitter.com/awakepod]

Is Healthy Masculinity Even Possible Anymore?

Awake at the Wheel | Ep 103 In this episode, Malini Ondrovcik and Dr. Oren Amitay unpack the confusing and often damaging messages men receive about masculinity, sexuality, hygiene, and emotional expression. From online shame and cultural stereotypes to bias in therapy and mental health training, this conversation explores how young men are being shaped by fear-based narratives rather than nuance, confidence, and self-awareness. The discussion examines how social stigma around men’s bodies, sexuality, and even basic hygiene reflects a deeper crisis in how masculinity is understood. Malini and Oren challenge simplistic labels, question the influence of toxic messaging, and make the case for more emotionally intelligent, gender-sensitive approaches in both therapy and public discourse. This episode is a candid look at the pressures men face, the myths that distort male identity, and the importance of creating spaces where men can explore who they are without shame. In this episode: -The stigma around men’s hygiene, body awareness, and sexuality -How masculinity myths affect self-esteem and help-seeking -The role of shame, stereotypes, and online narratives in shaping male identity -Why bias against men in mental health spaces creates real clinical harm -The limits of rigid, manualized therapy when deeper emotional work is needed -Why therapists need self-awareness, nuance, and emotional regulation -How to support men in exploring identity, emotion, and masculinity without judgment -The importance of authentic therapeutic relationships in helping men heal Timestamps: 00:00 - Are men okay? Confusing messages about masculinity and hygiene 01:20 - The online debate around touching your body and being perceived as gay 02:19 - How toxic masculinity myths shape young men’s behavior 03:10 - The history of terms like cuckold and pegging and their psychological impact 04:09 - How stereotypes undermine male self-esteem and hygiene 05:08 - Shame, stigma, and why men avoid asking for help 06:48 - Bidets, masculinity, and cultural discomfort 08:05 - Anal health, shame, and gender norms 09:35 - Propaganda, simplistic narratives, and mental health discourse 10:21 - The decline of nuance in guidance for men 11:42 - “Not washing the booty” as a distorted symbol of masculinity 12:22 - Social media narratives and male identity formation 13:19 - Why therapists need stronger critical thinking 14:04 - Systemic problems in mental health training and practice 15:28 - How anti-male bias affects therapy 16:50 - The impact of cultural messaging on treatment outcomes for men 17:28 - Confidence, authenticity, and sexual identity 18:28 - Emotional regulation and therapist self-awareness 19:11 - Online groupthink and professional echo chambers 20:36 - The need for trauma-informed, gender-sensitive therapy 22:10 - Why men hide their struggles and emotions 23:41 - Building strong therapeutic alliances through empathy 24:38 - How to spot propaganda in gender and mental health research 26:02 - Fostering resilience and nuance in therapy training 27:50 - Helping men challenge harmful norms 29:20 - Creating safe spaces for men to explore masculinity 31:13 - Practical strategies for therapists working with men 33:18 - Rigid treatment models vs. emotion-focused work 35:01 - The limits of CBT and manualized approaches 36:49 - Therapist self-awareness and ongoing development 38:28 - Why authentic therapist-client relationships matter 40:31 - Moving beyond simplistic narratives around men and mental health 42:24 - Final thoughts on healthy masculinity and supportive environments Note: This conversation emphasizes nuance, critical thinking, and the importance of genuine therapeutic relationships in helping men navigate masculinity, identity, and mental health in a culture full of shame and contradicti We want your questions! Send your questions to rounds@aatwpodcast.com, tweet us @awakepod, send us a message at facebook.com/awakepod, or leave a comment on this video! Email [rounds@aatwpodcast.com] Insta [https://www.instagram.com/aatwpod/] Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@awakepod] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/awakepod] Twitter [https://twitter.com/awakepod]

The Male Victims Nobody Acknowledges | Domestic Violence Reality

Awake at the Wheel | Ep 102 In this episode of Awake at the Wheel, Dr. Oren Amitay and Malini Ondrovcik are joined by Dr. Dina McMillan—social psychologist, author, and expert on abuse dynamics—to discuss an issue that is rarely talked about: domestic violence against men. While public conversations about intimate partner violence often focus on female victims, research suggests that male victims of domestic abuse are far more common than many people realize. In this episode, Dr. McMillan shares insights from decades of research and international experience examining abuse dynamics, societal bias, and the barriers men face when seeking help. The discussion explores why male victims of domestic violence are often overlooked, how stigma and cultural narratives discourage men from reporting abuse, and how bias within legal systems, academia, and social services can shape how cases are interpreted and handled. Dr. McMillan also explains how patterns of manipulation, psychological abuse, and coercive control operate in relationships, and why recognizing these patterns—regardless of gender—is critical for protecting victims and creating a more just system. This episode challenges common assumptions and encourages a more nuanced understanding of domestic violence, men's mental health, and intimate partner abuse. Heart and Mind with Dr. Dina McMillan - https://www.youtube.com/@HeartandMindwithDrDinaMcMillan https://www.drdinamcmillan.com Canadian Centre for Men and Families - https://canadianmenandfamilies.org/ Earl Silverman Shelter for Men - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Silverman_Shelter_for_Men  https://www.drdinamcmillan.com Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the topic of domestic violence against men 00:53 Dr. Dina McMillan's background and recent move to the US 02:28 Lack of Canadian statistics and misconceptions about male domestic violence 02:57 Common misconceptions and societal biases 03:53 Statistics from Australia and the US on male victims 05:41 Dynamics of abuse involving large men and petite women 07:59 Mental health risks and societal neglect of male victims 09:30 Statistics and reporting biases in Canada and the US 12:18 Court system biases and the manipulation by abusers 15:26 Impact of media and societal perceptions on bias 19:17 Bias in family courts and judicial decision-making 24:00 Gender biases in legal and social systems 28:23 The need for anti-bias training in judiciary and law enforcement 32:56 Shelters for men and the systemic neglect 35:57 Recognizing patterns of abuse in high-profile cases 37:40 Men's self-perception and societal influence 39:52 Statistics on bidirectional abuse and societal myths 43:49 Bias in law enforcement and court decisions 46:30 Possibility of relationship recovery and the importance of skills 49:19 What individuals can do to address domestic violence issues 53:48 The importance of speaking out and societal change 57:46 Resources and how to find Dr. McMillan 58:47 Closing remarks and next steps for awareness If you enjoy discussions about psychology, relationships, mental health, and social issues, make sure to subscribe to Awake at the Wheel for more thoughtful conversations with experts and practitioners. We want your questions! Send your questions to rounds@aatwpodcast.com, tweet us @awakepod, send us a message at facebook.com/awakepod, or leave a comment on this video! Email [rounds@aatwpodcast.com] Insta [https://www.instagram.com/aatwpod/] Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@awakepod] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/awakepod] Twitter [https://twitter.com/awakepod]

The Unhappiest Generation Explained | Why Young Canadians Are Losing Hope

Are you curious about why Canada's youth are reporting unprecedented levels of unhappiness? In this episode, we explore the societal, economic, and cultural factors influencing mental well-being, and discuss practical ways to build resilience and fulfillment in today’s complex world. Key topics: -The shift in happiness among Canadian youth from 2011 to 2025, and why it matters -Economic pressures: rising housing costs, high student debt, and employment challenges -The impact of social media, social comparison, and media narratives on mental health -The role of societal values: wokeness, victim mentality, and cultural divides -The importance of instilling resilience, purpose, and mastery in young people -How different generations have faced crises yet maintained hope and agency -Practical advice for parents and youth: focusing on actionable behaviors, long-term mindset, and intrinsic motivation -The importance of social connections, purpose, and values for true fulfillment -The influence of social media envy and unrealistic lifestyle portrayals 00:01 - Why Canada's youth have become the unhappiest generation  00:38 - Demographic shift in happiness: from 2011 to 2025  1:07 - Countries with similar happiness declines: Jordan, Venezuela, Lebanon, Afghanistan  1:21 - Economic factors: housing prices, job market, student debt  1:50 - Social media impact and the social comparison trap  2:05 - The role of delayed milestones and cultural expectations  3:00 - The influence of social and cultural narratives on youth mental health  3:11 - The divisive effects of wokeism and societal polarization  4:36 - Comparing past crises with today's challenges, and maintaining hope  5:33 - How modeling resilience and perseverance can help youth  6:28 - The privilege and resources available in Canada versus global realities  8:01 - Gratitude and perspective for maintaining mental health  9:13 - The importance of intrinsic motivation and internal values  10:22 - Happiness versus fulfillment: deeper social connections and purpose  11:09 - Role of parents and society in shaping mindset and resilience  12:04 - Financial hardships and shifting metrics of success  13:01 - Realities of housing affordability and delaying adulthood  14:15 - Navigating home life and financial independence  16:52 - The dangers of social media-driven superficial priorities  18:08 - Lessons from delayed gratification and the marshmallow test  19:04 - The impact of societal messaging on children's mindset  19:42 - Fostering mastery, purpose, and resilience in young people  20:10 - How focusing on skills and internal motivation leads to true success  20:44 - The importance of helping children develop a sustainable mindset  21:35 - Practical advice for parents and young adults: values, effort, and perspective  22:24 - Final thoughts: resilience, long-term thinking, and keeping focus We want your questions! Send your questions to rounds@aatwpodcast.com, tweet us @awakepod, send us a message at facebook.com/awakepod, or leave a comment on this video! Email [rounds@aatwpodcast.com] Insta [https://www.instagram.com/aatwpod/] Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@awakepod] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/awakepod] Twitter [https://twitter.com/awakepod]