217: Why God "Tricks" Good Men Into Leadership | Richard Gordon & Jason Vallotton

217: Why God "Tricks" Good Men Into Leadership | Richard Gordon & Jason Vallotton

This week on the BraveCo Podcast, I sat down with one of my closest friends, Richard Gordon, for a conversation I've been wanting to have for a long time. Richard is on our executive team at Bethel Church, and over the years I've had the privilege of watching him grow from a son in our house into one of the strongest fathers I know. We dug into the journey of moving from "what can I get?" to "what can I give?" — that quiet, often invisible shift that turns boys into men and sons into fathers. We got real about marriage, parenting, and the things nobody warns you about — bedtime battles, sensory struggles with our kids, co-sleeping, and the seasons where you feel like you're failing even when you're showing up. I shared what it was like walking my daughter Edy through years of dysregulation after my mother-in-law passed, and Richard opened up about how God keeps inviting him deeper into leadership through his family first. We also talked about what I call "the noble drug" — the way work and ministry can quietly become an escape, even when it looks valiant from the outside. If you're a husband, a dad, or a leader feeling pulled in a thousand directions, this conversation is for you. My prayer is that it gives you permission to make your family your number one team, to be led by vision instead of need, and to remember that the seasons that feel the hardest are often the ones you'll look back on as the most sacred. Hit subscribe so you don't miss next week, and check out our new gear at braveco.org. Love you guys. Connect with Richard: https://richardgordon.org/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/richardgordon_/ Chapters: 00:00 — Welcome Back & Meet Richard Gordon 03:24 — From Son to Father: The Mindset That Changes Everything 06:48 — How God "Tricked" Richard Into Leadership 10:14 — Jesus as Lord AND Friend: Leading Your Kids Without Losing Connection 13:38 — Bedtime, Routines & Why Connection Regulates Everything 17:04 — Walking Through Edy's Sensory Journey & Our Hardest Season 20:28 — Co-Sleeping, Emotional Safety & Building a Bubble at Home 23:54 — Your Family Is Your #1 Team (And Why That Matters) 27:18 — Led by Vision, Not by Need: The Noble Drug of Overworking 30:44 — Your Greatest Assignment & Final Encouragement CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org [https://www.braveco.org] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men [https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ [https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/] Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ [https://shop.braveco.org/] ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

216: How to Become a Better Dad Before You Damage Your Kids

Website: https://www.dadawesome.org/ In this episode, I sit down with Jeff Zaugg, host of the Dad Awesome podcast and author of Dad Awesome, to talk about what it really takes to become an intentional, healthy, and present father. Jeff shares the story behind his new book, the lessons he has learned from years of conversations on fatherhood, and why every dad needs more than good intentions to lead his family well. We talk honestly about the moments we have missed it as dads, the anger, pain, passivity, and unprocessed wounds that can come out on our kids if we do not bring them into the light. Jeff shares a powerful story about a snowball that broke trust with his daughter, and we discuss how repentance, self-awareness, brotherhood, and humility can bring healing instead of shame. This conversation is for every dad who wants to grow, lead, and love his family with greater purpose. If fatherhood matters to you, it is worth investing in. Grab Jeff’s book at dadawesome.org and start building a plan for the kind of father you want to become. Chapters: 00:00 Welcome Back to Brave Co 03:21 The Weight of Becoming a Dad 06:42 The Snowball That Broke Trust 10:03 When Dads Lose Control 13:24 The Grenades Fathers Carry 16:45 Healing Pain From the Past 20:06 Self-Awareness and Brotherhood 23:27 Growing as Sons Before Fathers 26:48 Loved, Learner, Leader 30:09 Why Dads Need a Plan CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org [https://www.braveco.org] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men [https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ [https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/] Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ [https://shop.braveco.org/] ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

215: The Brutal Truth About Leadership: You Are the Limit of Your Team

In this episode of the BraveCo Podcast, I sit down with Martin West, a former fighter pilot turned leadership coach, to unpack what actually makes teams succeed or fail. After spending several days with him working on our own team, I realized something that challenged everything I thought I knew about leadership. It’s not just about having a great plan. It’s about what’s happening beneath the surface of your team dynamics. We dive deep into the concept of vulnerability-based trust, constructive conflict, and why most teams settle for artificial harmony instead of real progress. Martin shares powerful lessons from his time flying F-18s, where every mission was scrutinized and feedback was constant. That level of accountability shaped how he now helps leaders eliminate dysfunction, build trust, and create environments where people can actually grow. If you lead a team, a business, a family, or even want to become a better man, this conversation will challenge you. The biggest takeaway is simple but hard to accept: the leader is always the limit. But the good news is, once you become aware of it, you can start building a culture where truth, feedback, and growth become the norm—and that changes everything. Connected with Martin West: https://www.xgap.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-west-93123a1a/ Chapters: 00:00 – Vulnerability, Creativity, and the Power of Disagreement 04:31 – From Fighter Pilot Dreams to Elite Training Reality 09:02 – The Cost of Constant Feedback and Accountability 13:33 – Leadership Lessons from High-Stakes Environments 18:04 – The Five Dysfunctions of a Team Explained 22:35 – Why Conflict Is the Key to Team Breakthrough 27:06 – The Leader Is the Limit of Every Team 31:37 – The Power of Feedback and Ego Removal 36:08 – Breaking Artificial Harmony in Teams and Relationships 40:39 – Building a Culture of Truth, Vulnerability, and Growth CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org [https://www.braveco.org] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men [https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ [https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/] Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ [https://shop.braveco.org/] ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

214: LIVE CALL Q&A: The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety. It's connection. The more we use p*rnography, the less we can feel what’s really going on with us.

In this live Q&A episode of the Brave Co Podcast, I answer real questions from men navigating some of the hardest parts of life and relationships. We talk about anxious attachment in dating, how to slow down and build trust the right way, and why so much relationship anxiety comes from asking questions too early. I also break down a framework for healthy dating, emotional boundaries, physical intimacy, and how men can lead relationships with clarity instead of fear. We also dive into what it looks like to take responsibility after failure without spiraling into shame. I speak directly into relapse, p*rnography, healing, counseling, and how to understand the deeper need underneath destructive patterns. This conversation is about ownership, connection, recovery, and learning how to respond to failure in a way that actually leads to growth. If you are trying to become a stronger man emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, this part of the episode will hit home. In the final section, I answer a question from a husband and father trying to love his wife well during a demanding season of work, babies, financial pressure, and exhaustion. I share practical advice for marriage, communication, small daily connection points, supporting your wife, and leading your family when life feels stretched thin. This episode is packed with honest coaching for men who want to grow in masculinity, relationships, emotional health, and responsibility. Chapters: 00:00 Why Masculinity and Manhood Matter Today 04:40 Dating Anxiety and the Pressure of “Is She the One?” 09:20 The Relationship Ladder and Why Intimacy Must Be Slower 13:59 Emotional Boundaries, Trust, and Healthy Dating Pace 18:40 How to Reconnect With an Ex the Right Way 23:19 Failure, Relapse, and Taking Responsibility Without Shame 27:59 P*rnography, Pain, and the Search for Real Connection 32:39 Counseling, Ownership, and Rebuilding After a Fall 37:19 Marriage Pressure, Young Kids, and the Bond Formed in Hard Seasons 41:59 Practical Ways to Love Your Wife While Carrying Heavy Demands CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org [https://www.braveco.org] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men [https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ [https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/] Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ [https://shop.braveco.org/] ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

213: If Your Marriage Was a Business, Would It Survive? The Marriage Audit Every Husband Needs to Do!

In this episode, I challenge men to look at marriage from a completely different perspective. I ask one honest question: if your marriage was a business, how would it be doing? Most of us would never run our company, career, or mission the way we run our marriage. We plan for business, measure business, invest in business, and protect business. But too often, we let marriage drift and then wonder why it feels disconnected. I break down the four things every successful business has that every strong marriage also needs: ownership, investment, regular check-ins, and vision. I talk through practical ways Lauren and I have applied these principles in our own marriage, from daily touch points and intentional conversations to taking responsibility for areas I used to avoid. This is not about treating your wife like an employee. It is about leading with stewardship, clarity, and purpose. If you feel like your marriage has been running on autopilot, this episode will help you slow down, take an honest look, and make meaningful changes. I believe strong marriages do not happen by accident. They are built through intentional leadership, daily investment, and a clear vision for what you are creating together. If this episode helps you, send it to a friend and share it with another man who needs it. Chapters: 00:00 The Question That Changes Everything 02:47 Why Marriage Needs an Audit 05:34 Applying Business Strategy to Marriage 08:21 The First Key: Ownership 11:08 Passivity, Pain, and Taking Responsibility 13:55 The Second Key: Intentional Investment 16:42 The Daily Habits That Transform Marriage 19:29 The Third Key: Regular Check-Ins 22:16 The Fourth Key: Vision for Your Marriage 25:03 A Final Marriage Audit for Men CONNECT WITH BRAVECO Join Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.org [https://www.braveco.org] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men [https://www.facebook.com/braveco.men] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/ [https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/] Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ [https://shop.braveco.org/] ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.