You Can't Out-Think Your Nervous System: Blessing Uchendu on Leadership and the Body

Controllable and Uncontrollable Forces: A Veteran's Guide to Leading Well w/ D'Juan Wilcher

Our Summer Guest Series continues with this profound, energizing, and a-little-silly conversation with D'Juan Wilcher, a Navy veteran, a distinguished alum of Indiana University, and Deputy Director at the George W. Bush Presidential Center [https://www.bushcenter.org/], where his work spans veteran economic opportunity, education pathways, mental health, and civic engagement. He's also a first-generation college student from Gary, Indiana, a member of the Council on Foreign Relations and the Truman National Security Project, a mentor, a husband, and a dad of three boys, which, as you'll hear, might be the most instructive leadership laboratory of all. In this conversation, Marissa and D'Juan dig into several critical topics, including what it takes to talk and lead across difference, the ingredients that set good leaders apart from mediocre ones, why leaders have to get comfortable with non-closure, and what emotional integrity and compassionate accountability look like for different generations. We also trade many metaphors about crayons, lemons, and holding doors open (literally and professionally). D'Juan also opens up about his transition out of the Navy, reflecting in real time on how living in Chicago during a period of social unrest reshaped what service meant to him, and how being a Black father means holding two truths at once: preparing his sons for the world as it is, while protecting their childhood for as long as he can. Tune in to hear: * Why curiosity and humility are the engine of every conversation across difference * Why not everything needs resolution * The inference trap: how "if they believe that, they must believe this" thinking breaks teams, tables, and countries * Marissa's ask vs. assume framework for interrupting assumptions before they harden * Parenting as leadership: what managing three kids in three different ways teaches about meeting people where they are * The crayons-in-the-box metaphor for emotional vocabulary, and why every generation is coloring on different paper * What civilian organizations could learn from the Navy * Service beyond the uniform: why holding the door open (at Target and in your career) counts * Why it's so important to prioritize your people's growth, hold folks accountable to what you agreed on, and lead with optimism Mentioned in this episode: * The Man the Moment Demands [https://www.amazon.com/Man-Moment-Demands-Characteristics-Comprehensive/dp/1400249058/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.n27QwVNLqQKke4lkyjUm34wNpIeVnTkTP77PN8_nyikK75b1Z8dq4yeuqgyVtgjYgJKIqnb1OnJpNw5AWw5a_hdYqLDE0q_1lNnuUuhuczDq_45x8LWiA7ucEEkxrfBputqRAmnBIpDFYjqiIBhQPJfZDplFc45p1W0uOAff8CoPeEIor9oYbWUrtt6uHMRefhrWufePDN9Xsc0vY644rilx2WlN2Als3LkJTxYii60.sZ88ue_QNwE_hhgcNRPYMZHlcbWoqd-8fByvcEj2eao&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+man+the+moment+demands&qid=1783356364&sr=8-1] by Jason Wilson * Travis Manion Foundation [https://www.travismanion.org/] * The George W. Bush Institute's Veteran Leadership Program [https://www.bushcenter.org/newsroom/bush-institute-announces-2026-stand-to-veteran-leadership-program-class] Learn More with Reloveution * Ask vs. Assume Framework [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cZSvH1BMNAkCCDNW14v_t2Fp9n6_cCy0/view?usp=sharing] * Join our 2026-2026 Compassionate Accountability Cohort [https://form.jotform.com/Reloveution/compassionate-accountability-cohort] TRANSPARENCY NOTE: While this podcast production is usually 100% unedited, we want to be transparent that we did some light editing on this one to mitigate technical errors throughout the episode. All content and humanness have been preserved! ChatGMB: Wisdom & Insights for Modern Leaders is produced for leaders, managers, and changemakers seeking insight, tools, perspective, and real talk on topics such as human-centered leadership, team culture, conflict transformation, burnout prevention, and more. There is no fancy editing or over-polished scripting. Tune in to hear me in all my imperfection, talking for as long as it feels "right" on the topics that light me up or set me on fire. If you like what you hear and want more wisdom and insights for your journey, sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter [https://www.truereloveution.com/newsletter]!! Have a question you'd like us to answer in a future episode? Submit questions (anonymous welcome) HERE [https://forms.gle/Ped9H7ncvjnFh4DF8]. ChatGMB is a production of Reloveution, a consulting and professional development services provider that leverages the magic of humanity to strengthen teams, deepen leadership impact, and catalyze professional well-being. From facilitating team retreats to leading leadership development programs to robust advisory services, we help you build the emotional and cultural conditions for human thriving AND exemplary business outcomes. Learn more at www.truereloveution.com [https://www.truereloveution.com/] You might also be interested in our focused conflict transformation practice RepairWorks. When tension rises, communication breaks down, or trust is broken, RepairWorks provides mediation, facilitated dialogue, advisory services, and training to help individuals, workplaces, teams, and established communities move through and transform conflict with clarity, accountability, and humanity. Learn more at www.conflictrepairworks.com [https://www.conflictrepairworks.com] About the Show GMB stands for “the Great Marissa Badgley” — a nickname my husband lovingly uses to remind me that I am great, good, competent, courageous, and enough. The name is also a playful nod to ChatGPT, which so many of us rely on for answers (maybe more than we should). Think of this as the human alternative: honest real talk, wisdom sharing, and actionable strategies on the specific leadership and culture topics that surface again and again in my consulting, coaching, and facilitation work.

Talk Less, Ask More: Brad Lademann on Curiosity, Connection, and Raising Adults

What makes a great facilitator, an effective leader, and a strong network? According to this week's guest, the answer to all three is the same: strong relationships and deep curiosity. In this episode, I sit down with Brad Lademann, Associate Director of Quality Initiatives at the Missouri AfterSchool Network, where he has spent 11 years supporting after-school professionals across the state through professional development, facilitation, conferences, and now a year-long leadership development program he and Marissa have built together. Brad spent a decade as a youth pastor before moving into after-school and dropout prevention work, and the lessons he learned from showing up for teenagers have become the backbone of his approach to adult leadership and professional development. He and I swap stories from our time working with youth; dig into what it takes to build belonging across a statewide network that spans rural towns of 500 people and major urban programs alike; discuss why the after-school field deserves more money, more respect, and a real career pathway; and what a book about a fancy New York restaurant can teach us about leadership. Brad also opens up about his experience with burnout and what it took to find his way back. In this episode, you'll learn: * Why Brad says relationships are the most crucial ingredient for a good life * The two things that unlock real connection: curiosity and listening to learn (not to respond) * Why the same principles that work with teenagers work just as well with adult colleagues and employees * How the Missouri AfterSchool Network builds belonging across a wildly diverse statewide ecosystem * The case for professionalizing the after-school field, and why "I just work with kids" should never be said in air quotes again * What "helping raise adults" actually means, and why Brad takes the long view on everyone he leads * Why "almost is not a story" — and how that phrase keeps him from letting the good intentions collect dust Book Recommendation from Brad: * Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect [https://www.unreasonablehospitality.com/books] * The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More, and Change the Way You Lead Forever [https://www.amazon.com/Coaching-Habit-Less-Change-Forever/dp/0978440749] Learn More: * Missouri AfterSchool Network [https://moafterschool.org/] * National After School Association [https://naaweb.org/] Call to Action: Call on your representatives to support and fund afterschool! [https://afterschoolalliance.org/policyTakeAction.cfm] ***Interested in bringing a multi-month leadership development program to YOUR organization or network?! Book a connection call [https://bit.ly/rellloveutionconnectioncall] with Reloveution or email us at info@truereloveution.com!*** ChatGMB: Wisdom & Insights for Modern Leaders is produced for leaders, managers, and changemakers seeking insight, tools, perspective, and real talk on topics such as human-centered leadership, team culture, conflict transformation, burnout prevention, and more. There is no fancy editing or over-polished scripting. Tune in to hear me in all my imperfection, talking for as long as it feels "right" on the topics that light me up or set me on fire. If you like what you hear and want more wisdom and insights for your journey, sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter [https://www.truereloveution.com/newsletter]!! Have a question you'd like us to answer in a future episode? Submit questions (anonymous welcome) HERE [https://forms.gle/Ped9H7ncvjnFh4DF8]. ChatGMB is a production of Reloveution, a consulting and professional development services provider that leverages the magic of humanity to strengthen teams, deepen leadership impact, and catalyze professional well-being. From facilitating team retreats to leading leadership development programs to robust advisory services, we help you build the emotional and cultural conditions for human thriving AND exemplary business outcomes. Learn more at www.truereloveution.com [https://www.truereloveution.com/] You might also be interested in our focused conflict transformation practice RepairWorks. When tension rises, communication breaks down, or trust is broken, RepairWorks provides mediation, facilitated dialogue, advisory services, and training to help individuals, workplaces, teams, and established communities move through and transform conflict with clarity, accountability, and humanity. Learn more at www.conflictrepairworks.com [https://www.conflictrepairworks.com] About the Show GMB stands for “the Great Marissa Badgley” — a nickname my husband lovingly uses to remind me that I am great, good, competent, courageous, and enough. The name is also a playful nod to ChatGPT, which so many of us rely on for answers (maybe more than we should). Think of this as the human alternative: honest real talk, wisdom sharing, and actionable strategies on the specific leadership and culture topics that surface again and again in my consulting, coaching, and facilitation work.

You Can't Out-Think Your Nervous System: Blessing Uchendu on Leadership and the Body

What if the thing standing between you and sustainable leadership isn't your mindset, your strategy, or your time management, but your physiology? In this episode, I sit down with Blessing Uchendu [https://www.linkedin.com/in/blessinguchendu/], a licensed clinical social worker and somatic leadership coach who spent nearly 20 years in social work before bringing that clinical depth into coaching high-achieving women leaders. Together, we explore: * What it means that "you cannot out-think your nervous system" * Why physical breakdown under chronic stress is a normal response, not a personal failure * The distinction between therapy ("healing backward") and coaching ("healing forwards") * How stress hijacks access to the reasoning part of the brain * How marginalized identities — especially for women and people of color in leadership — add an extra layer of nervous system vigilance at work * A nervous-system approach to building belonging * Practical language for naming dysregulation in yourself or someone else without shame * Why pausing during conflict only works if you return to the hard conversation afterward * An exercise for mapping your own stress signals and communicating what you need from your team * Resisting urgency culture and slowing down to match your body's pace and needs. About Blessing : Blessing Uchendu is a licensed clinical social worker and somatic leadership coach who works with women leaders who are excellent at their jobs and exhausted in ways that no amount of time off seems to fix. After nearly 20 years as a social worker, she brought her clinical depth into private practice and eventually into leadership coaching, helping leaders recognize the stress patterns — over-functioning, conflict avoidance, invisible emotional labor — that are shaping how they lead, and building the nervous system capacity to stay grounded under pressure. She works with women leaders and organizations through one-to-one somatic leadership coaching and facilitation, and is available for speaking engagements on nervous system intelligence at work. More Goodness from Blessing: * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/blessinguchendu/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/blessinguchendu/] * Website: https://www.freshwatercc.com/ [https://www.freshwatercc.com/] * FREE RESOURCE: How to Finally Relax Without Needing a Vacation [https://2df56b.subscribepage.io/] * Free Leadership Clarity Call [https://calendly.com/blessing-14/somatic-leadership-conversation] Want Support from Reloveution? * Burnout Blueprinting Call [https://calendly.com/jointhereloveution/burnout-blueprint] * Time-Off Coaching [https://www.truereloveution.com/time-off] ChatGMB: Wisdom & Insights for Modern Leaders is produced for leaders, managers, and changemakers seeking insight, tools, perspective, and real talk on topics such as human-centered leadership, team culture, conflict transformation, burnout prevention, and more. There is no fancy editing or over-polished scripting. Tune in to hear me in all my imperfection, talking for as long as it feels "right" on the topics that light me up or set me on fire. If you like what you hear and want more wisdom and insights for your journey, sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter [https://www.truereloveution.com/newsletter]!! Have a question you'd like us to answer in a future episode? Submit questions (anonymous welcome) HERE [https://forms.gle/Ped9H7ncvjnFh4DF8]. ChatGMB is a production of Reloveution, a consulting and professional development services provider that leverages the magic of humanity to strengthen teams, deepen leadership impact, and catalyze professional well-being. From facilitating team retreats to leading leadership development programs to robust advisory services, we help you build the emotional and cultural conditions for human thriving AND exemplary business outcomes. Learn more at www.truereloveution.com [https://www.truereloveution.com/] You might also be interested in our focused conflict transformation practice RepairWorks. When tension rises, communication breaks down, or trust is broken, RepairWorks provides mediation, facilitated dialogue, advisory services, and training to help individuals, workplaces, teams, and established communities move through and transform conflict with clarity, accountability, and humanity. Learn more at www.conflictrepairworks.com [https://www.conflictrepairworks.com] About the Show GMB stands for “the Great Marissa Badgley” — a nickname my husband lovingly uses to remind me that I am great, good, competent, courageous, and enough. The name is also a playful nod to ChatGPT, which so many of us rely on for answers (maybe more than we should). Think of this as the human alternative: honest real talk, wisdom sharing, and actionable strategies on the specific leadership and culture topics that surface again and again in my consulting, coaching, and facilitation work.

"Step Back, Not Away" - Brittany Rodriguez's Leadership Story

This episode of ChatGMB Wisdom and Insights for Modern Leaders is a little different because it's a conversation between Marissa and someone she coached. Brittany Rodriguez is the Senior Director of Programs at Hartford Youth Scholars [https://www.hartfordyouthscholars.org/], a college-access organization in Hartford, Connecticut, where she's worked for 9 years and was once a student herself. Marissa coached Brittany through FiveFrogs [https://fivefrogsct.org/]' eight-month Leadership Development Roundtable [https://fivefrogsct.org/opportunities/leadership-development-roundtable/] (LDR) program, and this episode brings their working relationship full circle. Brittany talks about growing up in Hartford with a single mother, attending boarding school, and the early career jump from a stable job in finance to mission-driven nonprofit work, a decision she's never once regretted. We dig into what's kept her at one organization for nearly a decade, the leadership values she leans on, and the ongoing, very human work of leading a team without burning out or taking over. We also talk candidly about coaching and cohort-based leadership development, and what it felt like for Brittany to be coached by Marissa. The episode closes with Brittany sharing that she's open to her next opportunity after nearly a decade at Hartford Youth Scholars and what she's looking for next. Listen in to hear: * What's kept Brittany at one organization for 9 years (and what most workplaces could learn from it) * The difference between "power-with" and "power-over" leadership * How she builds consistency for her team amid the chaos of nonprofit work * Why "balance" is subjective, and how she's worked through the guilt of logging off * The hardest leadership skill she's currently practicing: stepping back without stepping away * What it was like to go through an 8-month leadership cohort (LDR) and 1:1 coaching at the same time About Brittany Rodriguez: Brittany Rodriguez is the Senior Director of Programs at Hartford Youth Scholars, where she supports students and families navigating historically inequitable education systems through intentional, compassionate academic support that positions them for undergraduate completion and success. A first-generation, queer Latina raised by a single mother in Hartford, Connecticut, Brittany is herself an alum of Hartford Youth Scholars and has spent nine years building her career there after a brief stint in finance. She was a participant in Five Frogs Connecticut's Leadership Development Roundtable (LDR) program, and is currently (as of June 22, 2026) open to new professional opportunities. Connect with Brittany on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brittany-leighrodriguez/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/brittany-leighrodriguez/] Other References * Hartford Youth Scholars [https://www.hartfordyouthscholars.org/] * FiveFrogs Connecticut [https://fivefrogsct.org/] + Leadership Development Roundtable [https://fivefrogsct.org/opportunities/leadership-development-roundtable/] Working with Marissa as a Coach: Brittany describes her coaching experience with Marissa as one of the most concentrated growth experiences in her leadership journey. She says she expected criticism and got affirmation instead, along with concrete tools she could put into practice immediately (sometimes walking straight from a coaching session into a team meeting to try them out). She calls Marissa relatable, perceptive, human, and authentic, and says several of the tools from their work together have stuck with her ever since. If you're a leader who could use someone like Marissa in your corner, book a connection call here [https://bit.ly/reloveutionconnectioncall] to see if coaching might be the right fit for you. You can also learn more HERE [https://www.truereloveution.com/on-demand]. ChatGMB: Wisdom & Insights for Modern Leaders is produced for leaders, managers, and changemakers seeking insight, tools, perspective, and real talk on topics such as human-centered leadership, team culture, conflict transformation, burnout prevention, and more. There is no fancy editing or over-polished scripting. Tune in to hear me in all my imperfection, talking for as long as it feels "right" on the topics that light me up or set me on fire. If you like what you hear and want more wisdom and insights for your journey, sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter [https://www.truereloveution.com/newsletter]!! Have a question you'd like us to answer in a future episode? Submit questions (anonymous welcome) HERE [https://forms.gle/Ped9H7ncvjnFh4DF8]. ChatGMB is a production of Reloveution, a consulting and professional development services provider that leverages the magic of humanity to strengthen teams, deepen leadership impact, and catalyze professional well-being. From facilitating team retreats to leading leadership development programs to robust advisory services, we help you build the emotional and cultural conditions for human thriving AND exemplary business outcomes. Learn more at www.truereloveution.com [https://www.truereloveution.com/] You might also be interested in our focused conflict transformation practice RepairWorks. When tension rises, communication breaks down, or trust is broken, RepairWorks provides mediation, facilitated dialogue, advisory services, and training to help individuals, workplaces, teams, and established communities move through and transform conflict with clarity, accountability, and humanity. Learn more at www.conflictrepairworks.com [https://www.conflictrepairworks.com] About the Show GMB stands for “the Great Marissa Badgley” — a nickname my husband lovingly uses to remind me that I am great, good, competent, courageous, and enough. The name is also a playful nod to ChatGPT, which so many of us rely on for answers (maybe more than we should). Think of this as the human alternative: honest real talk, wisdom sharing, and actionable strategies on the specific leadership and culture topics that surface again and again in my consulting, coaching, and facilitation work.

The Withholding of Self: Elaine Lin Hering on Voice, Power, and Silence at Work

In this episode of ChatGMB, Marissa talks with Elaine Lin Hering, speaker, facilitator, former lecturer at Harvard Law School, and author of the USA Today bestseller Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully [https://elainelinhering.com/book/]. The conversation is both personal and practical, with a central premise that one of the biggest, if not the biggest, obstacles to good leadership, healthy teams, and real progress isn't a lack of confidence but silence. Elaine defines silence as the withholding of self for the comfort and convenience of others and breaks it into three layers: self-silencing, social silencing, and systemic silencing. Drawing on her own experience as the youngest daughter of an immigrant family and her career inside elite institutions, Elaine explains why telling people to "just speak up" misses the point entirely, and why so much leadership advice (be more confident, be louder, be more like the person who got promoted) is solving for the wrong problem. Together, we talk about: * Elaine's definition of silence and how it shows up in our lives and work * Why "just speak up" doesn't work, and what leaders should solve for instead * The danger of conflating organizational values with personal values * Red flags that a team or organization has a silence problem (hint: watch how leaders respond to bad survey scores) * The common ways leaders (including maybe even you) unintentionally silence others * The distinction between strategic silence (a tool) and oppressive silence (a trap) * Real-time processors vs. post-processors, and how to build cultures that work for both * Why "different" doesn't have to mean "wrong" on a team About Elaine Lin Hering: Elaine Lin Hering is a speaker, facilitator, and former lecturer on law at Harvard Law School who works with organizations and individuals to build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She has worked on six continents and facilitated executive education at Harvard, Dartmouth, Tufts, UC Berkeley, and UCLA. She has served as Advanced Training Director for the Harvard Mediation Program and as managing partner for a global leadership development firm, with clients including American Express, Chevron, Google, Nike, Novartis, PayPal, Pixar, and the Red Cross. She was named a Thinkers50 Global Management Thinker to Watch and is the USA Today bestselling author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully. Connect with Elaine: * Book: Unlearning Silence [https://elainelinhering.com/book/] * Free webinar: How to Speak Your Mind [https://elainelinhering.com/webinar/] (32-minutes) * Connect w/ Elaine on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainelinhering/] * Follow Elaine on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/elainelinhering/] Complementary Resources from Reloveution * Conflict Competence Skill Inventory [https://successful-pioneer-514.kit.com/31c50bbef3] * Minimizing Ambiguity & Maximizing Predictability Checklist [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rIh65nodHjoq7UYwCsw6yQE3GE3wNwJs/view?usp=sharing] ChatGMB: Wisdom & Insights for Modern Leaders is produced for leaders, managers, and changemakers seeking insight, tools, perspective, and real talk on topics such as human-centered leadership, team culture, conflict transformation, burnout prevention, and more. There is no fancy editing or over-polished scripting. Tune in to hear me in all my imperfection, talking for as long as it feels "right" on the topics that light me up or set me on fire. If you like what you hear and want more wisdom and insights for your journey, sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter [https://www.truereloveution.com/newsletter]!! Have a question you'd like us to answer in a future episode? Submit questions (anonymous welcome) HERE [https://forms.gle/Ped9H7ncvjnFh4DF8]. ChatGMB is a production of Reloveution, a consulting and professional development services provider that leverages the magic of humanity to strengthen teams, deepen leadership impact, and catalyze professional well-being. From facilitating team retreats to leading leadership development programs to robust advisory services, we help you build the emotional and cultural conditions for human thriving AND exemplary business outcomes. Learn more at www.truereloveution.com [https://www.truereloveution.com/] You might also be interested in our focused conflict transformation practice RepairWorks. When tension rises, communication breaks down, or trust is broken, RepairWorks provides mediation, facilitated dialogue, advisory services, and training to help individuals, workplaces, teams, and established communities move through and transform conflict with clarity, accountability, and humanity. Learn more at www.conflictrepairworks.com [https://www.conflictrepairworks.com] About the Show GMB stands for “the Great Marissa Badgley” — a nickname my husband lovingly uses to remind me that I am great, good, competent, courageous, and enough. The name is also a playful nod to ChatGPT, which so many of us rely on for answers (maybe more than we should). Think of this as the human alternative: honest real talk, wisdom sharing, and actionable strategies on the specific leadership and culture topics that surface again and again in my consulting, coaching, and facilitation work.