When Jesus Shows Up in the Darkest Place: Arman Kaymakcian on Why Trauma and Heroin Addiction Didn't Get the Final Word

When Jesus Shows Up in the Darkest Place: Arman Kaymakcian on Why Trauma and Heroin Addiction Didn't Get the Final Word

Arman Kaymakcian’s (Ky-mock-chin) journey from childhood sexual abuse and heroin addiction to faith in Jesus Christ began in unimaginable darkness. After years of using food, marijuana, drug dealing, and eventually intravenous heroin to escape his pain, Arman reached a point of suicidal desperation. He planned to step in front of a train—but walked into a psychiatric ward instead. That night, Arman opened a Bible to Psalm 88, a lament that ends, “Darkness is my closest friend.” Then, just as he was preparing to leave the hospital, he received an extraordinary phone call inviting him back to Keswick Colony of Mercy, a Christian addiction recovery program. In this episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, Arman shares how Jesus met him in the darkest moment of his life. He talks about the agony of heroin withdrawal, nights spent reading Scripture and praying beside a fireplace, and the Christian community God used to help rebuild his life. “I think we’re all looking for the peace of Christ, but we don’t realize it,” Arman says. “People are getting little doses of counterfeit peace here and there.” He also explains why Gospel-centered recovery involves more than sobriety. After finding freedom from heroin, he continued battling pornography and had to learn the importance of repentance, obedience, accountability, and radical vulnerability. Today, Arman is a husband, father, and author. His story shows how Jesus exposes our counterfeit sources of peace, meets us in our darkness, and redeems what we never could. Arman's Books: He Calls Me Redeemed [https://amzn.to/4fNR5i9]and He Meets Us in the Dark [https://amzn.to/4pEh92S] Treatment center: America's Keswick [https://addictionrecovery.org/colonyofmercy/] Arman's website: armankaymakcian.com [https://armankaymakcian.com] Follow Arman on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/arman_kaymakcian/] Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.org [https://www.veritasrecovery.org] Follow me: @jonseidl [https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/] Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic [https://amzn.to/4opuOt] Watch this episode at The Vertias Daily [https://jonseidl.substack.com/t/podcast] We explore: —How Arman’s childhood sexual abuse shaped his search for escape —The progression from food and marijuana to drug dealing and intravenous heroin use —Why the things we use to numb ourselves offer only “counterfeit peace” —The suicidal plan that led Arman to a psychiatric ward —Why Psalm 88 spoke to him when darkness felt like his closest friend —The extraordinary phone call that arrived as he was preparing to leave the hospital —The agony of heroin withdrawal and the long nights Arman spent praying and reading Scripture —How Christian community helped Arman slowly become himself again —Why conversion and sobriety didn’t immediately remove every struggle —Arman’s ongoing battle with pornography after finding freedom from heroin —The roles of repentance, obedience, accountability, and radical vulnerability in recovery —Why following Jesus means giving him access to every room in our lives —What distinguishes Gospel-centered recovery from simply stopping a destructive behavior Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ [https://www.jonseidl.com/] Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com [https://www.lifeaudio.com/] and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us [https://www.lifeaudio.com/contact-us].

The Addiction the Church Won’t Touch: Kristy McCammon Reveals Why Food and Sugar Can Be So Destructive and Addicting

We know how to talk about alcohol, pornography, drugs, and other destructive behaviors. But there is another substance Christians regularly use for comfort, escape, reward, and emotional relief. It’s present at nearly every church gathering, woven into our traditions, and rarely questioned. We’re going somewhere in this episode that we’ve never gone before. We’re confronting an addiction that is deeply embedded in the church, widely accepted among Christians, and often willfully ignored—not because it’s rare, but because so many of us are trapped in it. The substance is food—especially sugar. “Food is the good girl’s alcohol.” Kristy McCammon knows firsthand how something good and necessary can quietly take a place in the heart that belongs to Jesus. For years, food became her safety, comfort, and private escape. What looked like a problem with calories, weight, or willpower was actually rooted much deeper. Kristy is the founder of Life Unbinged and the author of Life Unbinged: Faith-Filled Freedom from Food Obsession and Sugar Addiction. She shares how food became connected to safety in childhood, why moderation and dieting never brought freedom, and how even healthy boundaries can become another idol. This conversation also became unexpectedly personal for me. I admitted things I’ve never discussed publicly and began confronting ways I may have transferred some of the same desires that once drove my drinking into my relationship with food. We also talk about boredom eating, processed sugar and flour, parenting, conviction versus shame, whether Christinas should use GLP-1 medications and weight-loss shots, and how to approach someone whose relationship with food concerns you. This isn’t about chasing a certain body type or treating every dessert as sinful. It’s about asking what we’re expecting food to do for us—and whether an addiction has been hiding in plain sight. Kristy's website: lifeunbinged.com [https://lifeunbinged.com] The Living Life Unbinged podcast: Listen [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2543027] Get the book: Life Unbinged: Faith-Filled Freedom from Food  [https://amzn.to/3TjkjwB]Obsession [https://amzn.to/3TjkjwB] Follow Kristy on Instagram: @lifeunbinged [https://www.instagram.com/lifeunbinged/] Read Kristy's blog post on GLP-1s: "Should Christians Use Weight-Loss Shots?" [https://lifeunbinged.com/should-christians-use-weight-loss-shots/] Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.org [https://www.veritasrecovery.org] Follow me: @jonseidl [https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/] Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic [https://amzn.to/4opuOt] Watch this episode at The Vertias Daily [https://jonseidl.substack.com/t/podcast] We explore: — Why Kristy calls food “the good girl’s alcohol” — How food became connected to safety, comfort, and escape — Why the church often ignores food addiction — The difference between moderation, abstinence, and healthy boundaries — How recovery itself can become another idol — What it means to put Jesus back in the highest place — The emotional roots beneath boredom eating and food obsession — My own uncomfortable realizations about food and transferred addiction — How parents can model a healthier relationship with food — Should Christians use GLP-1 medications and weight-loss shots? — How to approach a loved one without shame — Why food and substance addictions often share the same roots Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ [https://www.jonseidl.com/] Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com [https://www.lifeaudio.com/] and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us [https://www.lifeaudio.com/contact-us].

The Worship Leader with a Secret: Joel Warneking on His Double Life and Finding Freedom from Pornography

> “I desperately wanted to be loved... and yet my entire life had feared that if I let people know me, I would be deemed unworthy of love.” Joel Warneking lived a double life. He was preaching, leading worship, traveling with a Christian band, and serving in ministry—all while secretly battling a pornography addiction that began when he was just eight years old. Even after confessing part of his struggle, shame kept him from bringing everything into the light. Eventually, that hidden addiction escalated into behavior that led to his arrest, the loss of his ministry, his career, and nearly everything he had built. But that wasn’t the end of Joel’s story. In one of the darkest moments of his life—sitting alone in a jail cell—Joel encountered the grace of God in a way that forever changed him. Rather than condemnation, he discovered a Father who had been pursuing him all along. That encounter launched a journey of radical vulnerability, deep healing, and true Gospel-centered recovery. Today, Joel serves as president of 423 Communities, helping churches and individuals find freedom from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. In this episode of Confessions, we talk about why behavior modification alone isn’t enough, how trauma and shame fuel addiction, why secrecy keeps us stuck, and what it actually looks like to invite Jesus into the deepest wounds beneath our addictions. Joel also explains why healing requires more than sobriety, why confession is only the beginning, and how true freedom is found when we are fully known, fully loved, and fully surrendered to Christ. This is one of those conversations you’ll probably want to listen to more than once. It’s packed with wisdom, hope, and one unforgettable line after another. Keep something nearby to take notes—you’ll almost certainly want it. Get help for sexual addiction: 423communities.org [https://www.423communities.org/] Follow Joel on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/joelwarneking/] Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.org [https://www.veritasrecovery.org] Follow me: @jonseidl [https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/] Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic [https://amzn.to/4opuOt] Watch this episode at The Vertias Daily [https://jonseidl.substack.com/t/podcast] We explore: — How pornography addiction often begins long before we understand what's happening. — Why shame thrives in secrecy and keeps us from experiencing God's grace. — The danger of living a double life while serving faithfully in ministry. — Why marriage cannot heal an addiction rooted in unresolved pain. — How white-knuckling sobriety differs from true healing. — Joel's arrest for indecent exposure and the devastating consequences of hidden sin. — The surprising encounter with God's grace that transformed everything. — Why trauma explains addiction without excusing sin. — The role of confession, community, and radical vulnerability in recovery. — What Gospel-centered recovery looks like beyond simply changing behaviors. Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ [https://www.jonseidl.com/] Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com [https://www.lifeaudio.com/] and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us [https://www.lifeaudio.com/contact-us].

The 'Good Christian' with a Secret: Sherry Hoppen on How She Hid Her Alcoholism, and What Finally Brought Freedom

> “I told my whole family, ‘I'm quitting.’ But in my head this voice was screaming, ‘I don't know what to do. I can't quit.’” For years, Sherry Hoppen lived between those two realities. To the people around her, she was trying. She was making promises. She was attending church, raising a family, and doing everything a good Christian woman was supposed to do. But behind the scenes, alcohol had become her refuge, her coping mechanism, and eventually her prison. Even after public commitments to quit, she found herself returning to the bottle and becoming increasingly skilled at hiding the truth from the people she loved most. In this episode, Sherry shares the painful road that led her from family trauma and grief into alcoholism, the deception that defined her drinking years, and the repeated attempts to fix herself through determination, discipline, and even cross-country bicycle rides. Yet none of those things could accomplish what only complete surrender eventually would. Today, Sherry is the founder of Sela House Recovery and the author of Sober Cycle. Her story is a powerful reminder that recovery is not ultimately about trying harder, hiding better, or managing appearances. It's about bringing the parts of ourselves we've kept from God into the light and discovering the freedom that comes from a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ. Get Sherry's book: Sober Cycle [https://amzn.to/4uSTn48] More info on Selah House Recovery: selahhouserecovery.org [https://www.selahhouserecovery.org] Follow Sherry on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/shesurrenders_sherry/] Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.org [https://www.veritasrecovery.org] Follow me: @jonseidl [https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/] Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic [https://amzn.to/4opuOt] We explore: — The family wounds and grief that shaped Sherry's early life — How alcohol gradually became a solution to pain, stress, and disappointment — The moment she realized drinking seemed to make life easier — Secret drinking, deception, and living a double life — Why public promises to quit did not solve the problem — The temptation to become better at hiding addiction rather than confronting it — The bike rides that temporarily changed her behavior but not her heart — The devastation alcohol caused in her marriage and family — Alcohol poisoning and reaching the end of herself — The ultimatum that forced her to face reality — The difference between religion and a relationship with Jesus — What true surrender actually looks like — Rebuilding trust after years of broken promises — Why Gospel-centered recovery starts with Jesus, not behavior modification — The ministry and mission of Sela House Recovery Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ [https://www.jonseidl.com/] Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com [https://www.lifeaudio.com/] and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us [https://www.lifeaudio.com/contact-us].

What You Didn't Know or Realize About Confession: Jamin Goggin on Exposing Our Secret Struggles

“The fear of our heart is built on sin’s great lie: that the place of healing is the place of harm. That the chalice of confession is filled with poison. That the medicine God has provided cannot be trusted. We have come to believe that confession is not a place of life but instead a place of death.” Those words from Jamin Goggin’s book, Pastoral Confessions, capture the heart of this entire conversation. Most of us know we’re supposed to confess. We know we’re supposed to be honest with God. We know we’re supposed to live in authentic community. And yet we hide. We hide because confession feels dangerous. It feels exposing. It feels costly. We fear what people will think. We fear rejection. We fear consequences. We fear that if we tell the truth about what is really going on inside of us, everything might fall apart. But what if the very thing we fear is the thing God intends to use for our healing? Jamin Goggin is a professor at Talbot School of Theology, former pastor, and author of Pastoral Confessions: The Healing Path to Faithful Ministry. After spending two decades in ministry, he became convinced that many pastors—and many Christians—are carrying hidden struggles, unconfessed sins, and carefully managed secrets that quietly shape their lives and relationships. In this conversation, we explore why confession is about far more than admitting wrongdoing. We discuss why James 5:16 connects confession to healing, why self-deception makes it difficult to see our own sin clearly, and why God designed us to need other people in the process of growth and transformation. We also explore why vulnerability feels so threatening, why confession must be both vertical and horizontal, and why the flourishing Christian life is ultimately a life of dependence on Christ rather than self-protection. Whether you’re struggling with addiction, shame, fear, or simply learning how to practice radical vulnerability, this conversation offers a powerful reminder that freedom is often found in the very place we least expect it. The place that feels like harm may actually be the place where God begins to heal. Get Jamin's book: Pastoral Confessions: The Healing Path to Faithful Ministry [https://amzn.to/4a172P4] Website: jamingoggin.com [https://www.jamingoggin.com] Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.org [https://www.veritasrecovery.org] Follow me: @jonseidl [https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/] Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic [https://amzn.to/4opuOt] We explore: — Why confession feels dangerous even when we know we need it — The lie that the place of healing is actually the place of harm — Why hidden sin and secret struggles never stay hidden — What James 5:16 really means when it connects confession and healing — Why confession must be both vertical and horizontal — The role of Christian community in exposing self-deception — How Adam and Eve's hiding in the garden still shapes us today — The difference between vulnerability and radical vulnerability — Why true vulnerability always involves risk — How to begin practicing confession when honesty feels terrifying — The relationship between weakness, dependence, and spiritual flourishing — Why grace does not eliminate consequences — What it means for a pastor to be "above reproach" — How churches should think about restoration after failure Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ [https://www.jonseidl.com/] Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com [https://www.lifeaudio.com/] and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us [https://www.lifeaudio.com/contact-us].