Desperate for Love

6. my MIND is running me

28 min Ā· 14 mei 2026
aflevering 6. my MIND is running me artwork

Beschrijving

Desperate lovers, when I turn 30 this year I need to look like a full-blown SMOKE SHOW! So, in addition to my "Operation Smoke Show" series on Instagram, I bring to you a mini three-part series that I'd like to call "BEFORE THE STORM". I'm undergoing a transformation and in each episode, I will share my POINT A, my "before", my "before the storm". The storm is Operation Smoke Show . The storm is all the blood, sweat, and tears that are going to be shed over these next few months. In this episode, I open up about the darkness of my mind. :') However, my mind is not my own. I've been programmed. We're ALL programmed, and my program just happens to be the most negative one. I am committed to changing this program. This is hard for me to open up about, but this is authentic. This is what I have to live with, until I change it. PLEASE don't worry about me, I am OK! :) However, I believe it's important to be honest about where I'm starting. I appreciate you, my Desperate Lovers. xoxom and I'll be with you in the next one. šŸ¤

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Alle afleveringen

10 afleveringen

aflevering 9. Who Are You Without The Internet? artwork

9. Who Are You Without The Internet?

Desperate lovers… šŸŽ§ā¤ļø In this episode of Desperate for Love, I ask one question that might completely change the way you see yourself and the world around you: Who would you be without the internet? šŸŒŽšŸ“± I discuss the pressure of constantly performing online, the addiction to being perceived, and how social media slowly disconnects us from our authentic selves. From beauty standards, fillers, and comparison culture to validation, identity crises, and the exhaustion of consuming other people’s lives, I open up about my own experiences navigating the digital world and trying to figure out who I truly am underneath it all. šŸŖžāœØ This is a raw and honest conversation about individuality, insecurity, authenticity, self-worth, and learning how to reconnect with yourself in a world that constantly tells you who to be. 🌱 If the internet disappeared tomorrow… who would you become? šŸ¤ I appreciate you, my Desperate Lovers. xoxo šŸ’‹ And I’ll be with you in the next one šŸŽ™ļø

6 jun 202631 min
aflevering 8. meeting my SOUL artwork

8. meeting my SOUL

Desperate lovers… welcome to the final chapter of the Before the Storm mini-series. šŸŒ©ļøāœØ In this episode, I open up about my soul. šŸ•Šļø About consciousness. About spirituality, purpose, pain, healing, and the painful realization that no one is coming to save us. This conversation is about learning to respect yourself, reconnect with your soul, and stop abandoning your own life waiting for someone else to change it for you. šŸ¤ This episode is about returning home to yourself. Respecting your soul. Accepting your path. Embracing growth, transformation, and human evolution. 🌱 Operation Smoke Show is only the beginning. šŸ”„ It is the teeniest, tiniest little speck of my human capacity to evolve. This is my point A. This is BEFORE THE STORM. ā›ˆļø I appreciate you, my Desperate Lovers. xoxo šŸ’‹ and I’ll be with you in the next one. šŸ¤

28 mei 202632 min
aflevering 7. the war with my BODY artwork

7. the war with my BODY

Desperate lovers, welcome to part two of my three-part mini series, BEFORE THE STORM. šŸ¤ As you know, when I turn 30 this year, I need to look like a full-blown SMOKE SHOW. 😭 And so, in addition to my ā€œOperation Smoke Showā€ series on Instagram, I’m documenting my POINT A — my ā€œbefore.ā€ In this episode, I open up about my body. My body image struggles, my weight fluctuations throughout the years, binge eating, dieting, my eating disorder, perfectionism, comparison, shame, discipline, and the mental battle that has haunted me for most of my life. I share memories from childhood, moving to Canada, the habits that shaped my relationship with food, and the dark cycle of constantly trying to ā€œstart tomorrow.ā€ This episode is really about the war I’ve had with my body and the pressure I’ve always put on myself to look a certain way. At the same time, this is also an episode about hope, growth, responsibility, discipline, transformation, and becoming the person I know I’m capable of becoming. Operation Smoke Show is officially underway. 🫔 This is my point A. This is BEFORE THE STORM. I appreciate you, my Desperate Lovers. xoxo and I'll be with you in the next one. šŸ¤

22 mei 202644 min
aflevering 6. my MIND is running me artwork

6. my MIND is running me

Desperate lovers, when I turn 30 this year I need to look like a full-blown SMOKE SHOW! So, in addition to my "Operation Smoke Show" series on Instagram, I bring to you a mini three-part series that I'd like to call "BEFORE THE STORM". I'm undergoing a transformation and in each episode, I will share my POINT A, my "before", my "before the storm". The storm is Operation Smoke Show . The storm is all the blood, sweat, and tears that are going to be shed over these next few months. In this episode, I open up about the darkness of my mind. :') However, my mind is not my own. I've been programmed. We're ALL programmed, and my program just happens to be the most negative one. I am committed to changing this program. This is hard for me to open up about, but this is authentic. This is what I have to live with, until I change it. PLEASE don't worry about me, I am OK! :) However, I believe it's important to be honest about where I'm starting. I appreciate you, my Desperate Lovers. xoxom and I'll be with you in the next one. šŸ¤

14 mei 202628 min