Why do I fail when I have the best of intentions | 54

Why do I fail when I have the best of intentions | 54

Raise your hand if you have ever left church, gotten in the car, and immediately had road rage. Or gone on a retreat and decided you were a brand new person, only to scream at your kids before you even got home. I am guilty. All of the above. And for years I asked myself the same question: why do I keep failing when my intentions are so good?   The answer is not that your faith is weak. The answer is that faith alone, as powerful and sacred as it is, was never designed to do the work that psychology and personal development are equipped to do. You cannot live your faith if you have not done the inner work. Not because God is not enough, but because you are a human being with a nervous system, a history, and unconscious triggers that are running the show without your permission. There are two major triggers I want you to know about. The first is the I am not good enough trigger, and the second is the I do not matter trigger. These were formed in childhood, shaped by family, trauma, and repetition, and they turn you into a puppet the moment they are activated. Until you become aware of them, you will keep reacting in ways that contradict the very person you are working so hard to become.   This is the core of what I teach inside the Faith Based Coaching Academy. It is the integration of psychology and spirituality that I call the psycho-spiritual model. Psychology gives you awareness and tools. Faith gives you the power, the peace, and the God who lives inside of you as the Holy Spirit. Together, they make you unstoppable. Separately, neither one will take you where you are trying to go.   If you know there is a gap between who you are being and who you are meant to be, if you have been faithful and still feel like something is missing, that is not a failure. That is a call. And I am here for it. Book a free call with me at talkwithbetsy.com and let us figure out together exactly where the gap is and how to close it. I love you like crazy. Share this with someone who needs it.   In This Episode, You’ll Learn: * Why faith alone, no matter how sincere or consistent, is not enough to help you become the person God created you to be, and what the missing piece actually is. * How the ego personality you have built over a lifetime through experiences, repetition, and family messaging is not permanent, not eternal, and absolutely not who God created to his image and likeness. * What the two major unconscious triggers are, the I am not good enough trigger and the I do not matter trigger, where they come from, and why they turn you into a puppet in your most important relationships. * Why you cannot live your faith if you have not done the inner work, and how psychology and spirituality together create the combination that makes transformation not just possible but inevitable. * How to take the first step toward closing the gap between who you are being right now and who you are genuinely meant to be, through awareness, practical science-backed tools, and a deeper connection to the Holy Spirit inside of you.  Resources & Links: * Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.com * If you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.com * Grab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgc [https://a.co/d/awwbAgc] * Download the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot!

Why Do I Feel So Lonely Even Though I’m Married? | 53

I asked ChatGPT what is the question that most people privately ask about relationships. And the answer stopped me completely.   By far, the most common question is this: why do I feel so lonely even though I am married?   And maybe you would add, even though I love my spouse. Even though I know my spouse loves me.   If that is you, I want you to hear this before we go any further. You are not broken. Your marriage is not broken. You are not too needy. You are not ungrateful. You are not feeling something that is wrong or shameful. You are feeling something that is extremely common, deeply human, and absolutely not a verdict on your marriage or your love.   It is information. And it is a sign that it is time to be intentional.   That is what this episode is about.    Resources & Links: * Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.com * If you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.com * Grab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgc [https://a.co/d/awwbAgc] * Download the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot!   If this episode helped you, share it with someone whose marriage could use a spark right now. You may be the reason they light the candle tonight. I love you like crazy. See you next week.     #FaithAndGrowth #BetsyGuerra #MarriageAdvice #LonelyInMarriage #IntentionalMarriage #BringTheSparkBack #ChristianMarriage #FallInLoveAgain #MarriageAfterKids #LoveLanguages #DailyRituals #ChristianWomen #FaithBasedCoaching #RelationshipAdvice #PrayTogether #MarriageAndFaith #ConnectionInMarriage #MotherTeresa #SayIDoEveryDay #ChristianPodcast

When You Have Too Much to Do: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed | 52

This morning someone sent me a message that stopped me in my tracks.   She said, I have everything I desire in life except love. Am I supposed to stay alone forever? I have so much love to give. Does that mean I should just settle?   And I caught myself telling her exactly what I want to tell you today.   You are just in the messy middle. You have not arrived. The fact that you are going through this right now does not mean this is your final destination.   Pain is only the path. It is never the destination.   You and I both know what the ending to our story is. It is resurrection. It is rising. It is joy. It is the peace that surpasses all understanding. That is our destiny. So if you are not there yet, you are en route. You are in the middle of the journey. And today I want to teach you how to be present with exactly where you are, because that presence is the very thing that will carry you through.   I want to give you a practical three-step practice for the next time you feel like the mountain of dishes is too high to climb.   Step one, write the list. Get every single thing out of your head and onto paper. All the things you have to do, want to do, need to address, feel pressure about. Write them all down. Do not judge the list. Just write it.   Step two, go back in time. Think of a moment in the past when you had just as many things on your plate, maybe even more, and you had no idea how you were going to get through it. And then somehow, some way, you did. You got through it. All things got done. Remind yourself of that. Let that reassurance come into your body. You have done this before. You have the capacity. This is not your first rodeo.   Step three, come back to right now and choose the one dish. Just one. Not the most urgent one necessarily. The one that is right in front of you in this present moment. And then give it everything. Focus every sense, every bit of your attention, your mind, your body, your spirit, on that one thing. And when it is done, move to the next one.   This is not a productivity strategy. This is a spiritual practice. Because when you are fully present in the present moment, you are in the very place where God lives. And in that place there is no overwhelm. There is only now. And now is enough.    Resources & Links: * Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.com * If you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.com * Grab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgc [https://a.co/d/awwbAgc] * Download the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot!

Why You Are Not Getting Results And How To Influence Your Outcomes | 51

Do you feel like no matter what you do, no matter how much you work and how patient you are, you are not getting the outcomes and results you have been working for? The money is not there. The relationship is not healed. The health is not shifting. The dream is still just a dream. Hello, my name is Betsy Guerra and I have never once been able to control my outcomes. And I have tried. Hard. I am the queen of working as hard as humanly possible for outcomes I never see through. I have so much resilience because of how many epic failures I have had. And I cannot wait to share with you today what I have learned, because the amount of effort I put into everything I do in life does not always match the results I get. And I now know exactly why. And so will you by the end of this episode. THE THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE AND WHY NONE OF US CAN CONTROL OUTCOMES: There are three kinds of people when it comes to taking action on an idea. The first kind is impulsive. They hear an idea and they get it done immediately. They are go getters who do not mess around. That was me. I was always that way and it worked, until it did not. Because what happened is I would commit to so many things, start so many open tabs, and then feel obligated to close every single one of them at any cost. And when I say any cost, I mean at the cost of my well-being and my sanity. I also learned that by going too fast, I sometimes arrived at the destination before the destination was ready for me. I can give you a perfect example. During the pandemic I built a program called Hurt to Hope to help people who were grieving. I invested an enormous amount of money, energy, and time. The value was absolutely there. But it was an epic failure in my business because I built it before the world, before my potential clients, were ready to receive it. I had not built the right audience yet. I was still known as the couples whisperer in Miami, not as the grief expert. I skipped the preparation. I ran the marathon the day before the race was set up. I arrived at the finish line before the balloons and the tape were there to receive me. The second kind of person is stuck in thinking energy. They process and overthink and wonder if it will work and by the time they are done thinking about it, they have convinced themselves it will not. Nothing gets executed. The outcome of that is usually no outcome. The third kind, and this is who I am working to become, is the person who is still first. They sit with the idea. They pray about it. They wait for guidance. They listen for the recurring nudge that comes up in different scenarios, touches them emotionally, and simply will not leave them alone. And then, when guided, they execute. These people tend to experience more positive outcomes percentage-wise. But even they cannot control the destination. They can only influence it. Because here is the truth: we have power over ourselves and over the process. We have no power over outcomes. And that is not a failure. That is a gift. Resources & Links:Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.comIf you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.comGrab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgcDownload the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot!Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW to secure your spot

The Fear of Not Knowing: Take the Next Step in Faith | 50

It was the last session of the semester inside the Faith Based Coaching Academy. My student Mighty was sharing her journey, where she had started, how far she had come, and all the possibilities that had opened up to her that she could not have imagined when she first arrived. And then she said this phrase, which I am convinced she borrowed from someone extraordinary, because it stopped me completely in my tracks. As I walk forward, the path appears. I asked her to say it again. And she did. And I knew immediately that it was the theme of this episode. Because most of us are not stuck because we are lazy. We are stuck because we are waiting. Waiting for certainty. Waiting for the full map. Waiting to know all the steps before we take the first one. And in the meantime, God is standing at the trailhead with his hand extended, saying, just take this step. I will show you the rest. THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF: You are in the middle of something and you have no idea how it is going to end. A marriage, a diagnosis, a legal case, a business, a calling you know is yours but do not know how to step into. A child going off to college. A season of your life where the road has run out and you are waiting for more to appear. It will. I promise. But only as you walk. WHAT I AM TEACHING IN THIS EPISODE: Why uncertainty is not a problem to be solved but a blessing to be welcomed. If you knew everything from the beginning, you would be limited to the wisdom and capacity you have right now. And if there is one thing I know for certain, it is that we are lifelong learners. The wisdom you have in your forties and fifties could not have lived in you at age five. You earned it by walking the path. You cannot know it before you walk it. Why not knowing everything is actually a protection. My first business coach ever, Luli, taught me that sometimes you build the plane while it is flying. The information you need is not always available yet because God is still working on it. If you plan all your steps from where you stand today, you will miss the college counselor you were going to meet at a basketball game three months from now. You will make decisions based on what you know instead of what God is still preparing. Why uncertainty equals limitless possibilities, not lack of power. If you know everything, nothing can surprise you. And if nothing can surprise you, you are closed to graces, growth, miracles, and the peace that surpasses all understanding. A person of faith must believe in mystery. God is mysterious. His ways are mysterious. And when you leave room for that mystery, you leave room for him. Why God only lives in the present moment. Wayne Dyer said that the only thing that is real is that which never changes. And I want to say it this way: the only thing that is permanent, significant, and eternal is that which never changes. Your body changes. Your emotions change. Your thoughts change. Your circumstances change. None of it is permanent. But the soul God created to his image and likeness, that center within you that is one with the indwelling Holy Spirit, that never changes. That is what matters. That is what is real. And God lives there, in you, right now, in this present moment. Not in the worry about tomorrow. Not in the regret about yesterday. Right here. Right now. Resources & Links:Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.comIf you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.comGrab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgcDownload the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot!Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW to secure your spot