Why We’re Nostalgic for the Toys Our Children Have Outgrown with Aymann Ismail

Why We’re Nostalgic for the Toys Our Children Have Outgrown with Aymann Ismail

As they get older, our children naturally outgrow formerly beloved toys and move on to more age-appropriate ones. But what about their parents? For father of two Aymann Ismail, saying goodbye to those toys is a more emotionally fraught process. Having witnessed his kids spending hours with their toys, when he looks at them, he sees their past selves, not just objects that once sat on a toy store shelf. So even though his kids are no longer playing with them, he’s struggled to part with them, a dilemma likely familiar to many parents. How do parents balance the need to make room for new toys with their attachments to memories of their kids’ earliest playtime activities that are entwined with the old toys? Host Rachel Kramer Bussel also talks to Aymann about his collection of street art from his bachelor days, most of which is now tucked away, not fit to hang on the walls of the home he shares with his wife and family. But that art, made by friends and still special to him, isn’t something he’s ready to part with. What do we do with objects that remind of us of our past lives but that don’t quite gel with our current ones? How do we honor the meaning of those items when we can’t put them front and center? We explore these questions and more in this nostalgic episode. About our guest: Aymann Ismail is a senior writer at Slate, the author of Becoming Baba, and the president of AMEJA. He was formerly the staff video and photo editor at ANIMALNewYork. He grew up in Newark, NJ, received an art degree from Rutgers University, and was arrested by the NYPD for trespassing on the Williamsburg Bridge in 2016. In 2018, he received an ASME Next award. In 2021, his essay The Store That Called the Cops on George Floyd was nominated for a National Magazine Award in Reporting and won a Writers Guild Award. His work has been featured by CNN, The New York Times, NPR, GQ, among others. He still lives in Newark. aymann.com [http://aymann.com/] Instagram: @aymanndotcom [https://www.instagram.com/aymanndotcom] Finders and Keepers is hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel and is a production of Open Secrets Magazine. Thank you to Sound Off Network and Dan Schroeder for audio production support. If you like the podcast, we’d greatly appreciate if you’d leave a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts and tell your friends about it to help us reach new listeners. Want to share your own stuff story, tell us who we should interview next, or share your own most treasured possession? Contact us at findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com [findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com] or leave a voicemail at speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers [http://speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers] For more about our attachments to our belongings, read the personal essays in the Object-ives [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/object-ives] and Stuff-ed [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/stuff-ed] sections of Open Secrets Magazine at opensecretsmagazine.com [http://opensecretsmagazine.com/], where you can also submit your own essays. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Exploring Gender and Being Non-Binary via Fashion with Alligator Tears author Edgar Gomez

Choosing which clothes we want to wear on any given day is about so much more than fashion. How we dress is often deeply connected to our self-expression, creativity, and gender identity, which we dive into with our guest Edgar Gomez, author of memoirs Alligator Tears and High-Risk Homosexual. Edgar discusses curating a queer life, how being non-binary relates to their fashion choices, selecting the right clothes for productive writing sessions, the power of wearing fun outfits and accessories in public, why they treasure their grandmother’s costume jewelry collection, and their most beloved outfits and clothing items, including two Walter Mercado capes. “I’m drawn to clothes that exude joy and happiness and gratitude and that don’t feel like I’m limiting myself because of some arbitrary rules that somebody decided about what boys can and can’t do,” says Gomez in this episode. Visit the episode page at Open Secrets Magazine [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/p/gender-non-binary-fashion-clothes-edgar-gomez] to read a transcript. About our guest: Edgar Gomez is a queer NicaRican writer born and raised in Florida. He is the author of the memoir High-Risk Homosexual, winner of the American Book Award. Their latest book, Alligator Tears, was called “triumphant, dazzling, and unfailingly stylish” by Publishers Weekly, won a Florida Book Award, and is a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award for Gay Memoir. Gomez lives between New York and Puerto Rico. edgargomez.net [http://edgargomez.net/] Instagram: @otroedgargomez [https://www.instagram.com/otroedgargomez] Substack [https://edgargomez.substack.com/] Alligator Tears [https://bookshop.org/a/116429/9780593728543] Finders and Keepers is hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel and is a production of Open Secrets Magazine. Thank you to Sound Off Network and Dan Schroeder for audio production support. Please rate and review wherever you listen to podcasts to help us reach new listeners. Want to share your own stuff story, tell us who we should interview next, or share your own most treasured possession? Contact us at findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com [findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com] or leave a voicemail at speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers [http://speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers] For more about our attachments to our belongings, read the personal essays in the Object-ives and Stuff-ed sections of Open Secrets Magazine at opensecretsmagazine.com [http://opensecretsmagazine.com], where you can also submit your own essays. Finders and Keepers is hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel and is a production of Open Secrets Magazine. Thank you to Sound Off Network and Dan Schroeder for audio production support. If you like the podcast, we’d greatly appreciate if you’d leave a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts and tell your friends about it to help us reach new listeners. Want to share your own stuff story, tell us who we should interview next, or share your own most treasured possession? Contact us at findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com [findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com] or leave a voicemail at speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers [http://speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers] For more about our attachments to our belongings, read the personal essays in the Object-ives [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/object-ives] and Stuff-ed [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/stuff-ed] sections of Open Secrets Magazine at opensecretsmagazine.com [http://opensecretsmagazine.com/], where you can also submit your own essays. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

How to Decorate a Jail Cell and What Items Are and Aren’t Allowed While Serving Time with Kari Ferrell

In the late 2000s, Kari Ferrell become infamous online when she was dubbed the “Hipster Grifter” in the media for scamming men out of money in Brooklyn. While the sensationalized version of her life grabbed headlines, behind the scenes, a lot more was going on. Ferrell’s memoir, You’ll Never Believe Me: A Life of Lies, Second Tries, and Things I Should Only Tell My Therapist, explores what led up to her illegal exploits, from her upbringing as a Korean adoptee in a Mormon family in Utah, with few Asian American peers, to mental health struggles, embracing her queerness, and exploring her multi-faceted identity. Eventually, Ferrell’s exploits caught up with her, and she wound up on Utah’s most wanted list. Ferrell documents what her jail stint was really like, from prison riots and relationships to how she and her fellow inmates used what was available to them to decorate their jail cells, and themselves, turning towels into swans, using candy wrappers to make bouquets, and improvising makeshift makeup. She writes honestly and humorously about this time: “We made do with what we had to in order to make things feel a little more like home. I was like a law-breaking Martha Stewart. Oh, wait.” In this episode of Finder and Keepers, Ferrell goes in-depth about having to part with her suitcase of possessions, how she adapted to the strict rules about which items (and how many of them) were allowed and which were restricted, the creativity fostered by that mandated minimalist environment, and how her relationship with her belongings changed once she was done serving her sentence. Ferrell also discusses the reasons behind the often draconian rules about belongings behind bars, where even books are closely monitored, the dehumanizing intent of these restrictions, her prison reform activism, and the items she is now most grateful to have access to. Visit the episode page at Open Secrets Magazine [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/p/decorate-jail-cell-allowed-items-kari-ferrell] to read a transcript. About our guest: Kari Ferrell is a producer, writer, speaker, activist, and creator. Her work is centered around incarceration and the justice system, mental health, human rights, adoption, and other issues. Kari’s memoir, You’ll Never Believe Me, received a rave review from the New York Times, a starred review from Publishers Weekly, and was named a Goodreads Readers’ Most Anticipated Book of 2025. She is developing a scripted television program with Warner Brothers Discovery and Mindy Kaling’s Kaling International, and is the co-host of the Asian culture podcast Disoriental alongside Youngmi Mayer and Henry Bae. Kari Ferrell’s website [https://www.madewithoutwax.com/] Instagram: @hotdoghandjobs [https://www.instagram.com/hotdoghandjobs] Memoir You’ll Never Believe Me [https://bookshop.org/a/116429/9781250288226] Disoriental podcast [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disoriental/id1896186599] Finders and Keepers is hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel and is a production of Open Secrets Magazine. Thank you to Sound Off Network and Dan Schroeder for audio production support. If you like the podcast, we’d greatly appreciate if you’d leave a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts and tell your friends about it to help us reach new listeners. Want to share your own stuff story, tell us who we should interview next, or share your own most treasured possession? Contact us at findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com [findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com] or leave a voicemail at speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers [http://speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers] For more about our attachments to our belongings, read the personal essays in the Object-ives [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/object-ives] and Stuff-ed [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/stuff-ed] sections of Open Secrets Magazine at opensecretsmagazine.com [http://opensecretsmagazine.com/], where you can also submit your own essays. Open Secrets Magazine is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

American Fantasy Author and Bookstore Owner Emma Straub on Why Book Swag Is Everywhere

To promote her new boy band cruise novel American Fantasy, novelist Emma Straub, who co-owns Brooklyn bookstore Books Are Magic, went all out with swag. Partnering with VistaPrint, Straub created promotional items tied to the novel’s theme, featuring things vacationers would need on a cruise, including a Boybands Are Magic hat (her favorite item), a water bottle, sunscreen, breath mints, and playing cards. What motivated Straub to get so extra with her offerings, an expansion from her previous swag? Partly, her past job working for the band The Magnetic Fields and seeing how eager fans were to buy merch, along with her bookstore experience, where merch has become more popular than she ever expected. Her history as a Blockhead (aka, a major New Kids on the Block fan) also played a role. In this episode of Finders and Keepers, Straub discusses her past novels and their attendant swag, and why American Fantasy, whose research included attending a New Kids on the Block cruise, is different, why she loves stuff that represents her interests (and which NKOTB items she still owns from childhood), and the larger rise of BookTok and social media influencers on book swag and merch. She also delves into the surprising role merch has played with regulars and visitors to Books Are Magic, thanks to the design skills of her husband, bookstore co-owner Michael Fusco-Straub. Visit the episode page at Open Secrets Magazine [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/p/emma-straub-book-swag-american-fantasy-boybands] to read a transcript. Mentioned in this episode: VistaPrint [https://www.vistaprint.com/] The Magnetic Fields [https://www.houseoftomorrow.com/magneticfields] Boybands Are Magic hat [https://booksaremagic.net/item/nQhV0zs_31GPsEOXX0P86Q/lists/LRuDNzlF1pHc/] Books Are Magic hat [https://booksaremagic.net/lists/LRuDNzlF1pHc] About our guest: Emma Straub’s website [https://www.emmastraub.net/] Emma Straub’s Substack [https://emmastraub.substack.com/] Instagram: emmastraub [https://www.instagram.com/emmastraub] TikTok: emmastraubwriter [https://www.tiktok.com/@emmastraubwriter] American Fantasy [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/786144/american-fantasy-by-emma-straub/] Books Are Magic [https://booksaremagic.net/] Books Are Magic online merch store [https://booksaremagic.net/merch/all-merch] Instagram: @booksaremagicbk [https://www.instagram.com/booksaremagicbk] Finders and Keepers is hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel and is a production of Open Secrets Magazine. Thank you to Sound Off Network and Dan Schroeder for audio production support. If you like the podcast, we’d greatly appreciate if you’d leave a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts and tell your friends about it to help us reach new listeners. Want to share your own stuff story, tell us who we should interview next, or share your own most treasured possession? Contact us at findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com [findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com] or leave a voicemail at speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers [http://speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers] For more about our attachments to our belongings, read the personal essays in the Object-ives [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/object-ives] and Stuff-ed [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/stuff-ed] sections of Open Secrets Magazine at opensecretsmagazine.com [http://opensecretsmagazine.com/], where you can also submit your own essays. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Why Fly Fishing Is the Ultimate Sport for Hoarders with Angling Educator Nick Parish

Host Rachel Kramer Bussel didn’t even know what fly fishing was when author and angling educator Nick Parish reached out to proclaim that fly fishing is the ultimate sport for hoarders. Since Finders and Keepers is all about our emotional attachments to our belongings, Rachel felt compelled to learn more. Parish, who’s based in Portland, Oregon, runs what he calls a “fly fishing media empire” online at Current Flow State Fly Fishing(tagline: “Learn to fly fish, change your life”), which includes classes, events, a newsletter, and resources, including an essential gear guide. He gave her an education into what fly fishing is, why people become fly fishers and enjoy the sport, which gear you do and don’t need to get started (and why many people go overboard on buying gear), and the benefits of fly fishing. Because Nick was so detailed in his pitch, we’re going to share the heart of it here: “There’s an incredible amount of fiddly equipment, multiple rods (I don’t keep count of mine, because it’s scary), reels, lines, tools, apparel, etc. And that’s not even counting tying your own flies, which entails a mini-Michaels-level commitment to buying threads and fur and feathers and hooks and all sorts of new sets of tools to start a little cottage industry devoted to making more gear for yourself. The average fly angler spends $1,200 a year on gear, and that’s not even starting to count all the hand-me-downs from parents and aunts and uncles. If this is at all interesting I’d love to explore this with you. I think the broader themes are: a) Buying stuff as a fantasy and substitute for actually fishing, e.g. I can buy a $120 fly line today, and get a fantasy of fishing, even if I only ever fish with it once or twice months from now, or even if it never leaves the closet. b) The notion that limited experience in the sport (i.e. I only go fly fishing for one week a year in Belize) induces a sort of “must have everything to be ready” mentality, which is a kind of weird inverse scarcity mindset, an acquisition pattern that’s fear-based, versus “eh, we’ll figure it out, we don’t need to bring everything”. I’ve heard this described in survivalist circles as “Two is one, one is none.” c) Competitive aspects tied to being “the best.” When I used to go to Montana every summer growing up with the Michigan Fly Fishing Club, there’d be two informal prizes: Top Rod, for who caught the most fish, and Top Wallet, for who spent the most money. The same sort of acquisitive mindset that drives people toward quantities of fish catching drives them to consume more gear. d) A “horses for courses” false need for precision tools based on mostly industry hype. Golfers can have one set of golf clubs that work around the world, at every golf course, give or take a few clubs. But I’m told I a different rod / reel / line setup to fish for trout in the Catskills, salmon in Newfoundland, bass in Oregon, musky in Wisconsin, carp in Oregon, etc. I’m interested in this because a younger generation of anglers are re-evaluating this over-acquisition pattern, fishing the same sorts of spots closer to home rather than going abroad, and there have been subsequent industry moves to think more sustainably about all this.” We get into all of this and much more in the episode. Whether you’re an experienced fly fisher, curious about finding a new hobby, or just want to hear about a sport where people can spend large amounts of money before they’ve even gotten started, we hope you enjoy this conversation with Nick Parish. Visit the episode page at Open Secrets Magazine [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/p/fly-fishing-gear-sport-essentials-get-started] to read a transcript. About our guest: Author, editor, and angling educator, Nick Parish has helped dozens of people to catch their first fish on a fly rod. Born in the Great Lakes state, worked in a series of media jobs at the nexus of the Hudson and East rivers before heading west to the Columbia River drainage and greater Cascadia. He leads fly fishing instruction at Portland Community College and writes a weekly fly fishing newsletter at Current Flow State [http://www.currentflowstate.com./]. Current Flow State weekly newsletter [http://www.currentflowstate.com/subscribe] Essential gear guide [https://www.currentflowstate.com/essential-fly-fishing-gear-for-beginners/] Instagram: @currentflowstate [https://www.instagram.com/currentflowstate] Bluesky: @nickparish.bsky.social [https://bsky.app/profile/nickparish.bsky.social] Finders and Keepers is hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel and is a production of Open Secrets Magazine. Thank you to Sound Off Network and Dan Schroeder for audio production support. If you like the podcast, we’d greatly appreciate if you’d leave a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts and tell your friends about it to help us reach new listeners. Want to share your own stuff story, tell us who we should interview next, or share your own most treasured possession? Contact us at findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com [findersandkeeperspod@gmail.com] or leave a voicemail at speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers [http://speakpipe.com/findersandkeepers] For more about our attachments to our belongings, read the personal essays in the Object-ives [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/object-ives] and Stuff-ed [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/s/stuff-ed] sections of Open Secrets Magazine at opensecretsmagazine.com [http://opensecretsmagazine.com/], where you can also submit your own essays. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe [https://opensecretsmagazine.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]