When Your Best Friend Gets Stage 4 Cancer: A Story of Devotion and Discovery with Nina Pullella

When Your Best Friend Gets Stage 4 Cancer: A Story of Devotion and Discovery with Nina Pullella

ABOUT THIS EPISODE I sit down with Nina Pullella, my former Ayurveda school classmate and founder of Living Ayurveda Hawaii, to explore her radical life transformation from free-spirited bartender to devoted healer. I get real with Nina about how watching her best friend Christa fight stage 4 breast cancer at 38 became the catalyst for everything — from starting her meal delivery business to discovering Ayurveda to creating the Wild Woman Collective. I reflect on the deeper patterns we see in chronic illness, including the mental health crises that often precede physical disease, and why giving ourselves permission to prioritize our wellbeing can't wait for a wake-up call. This conversation is for anyone who senses they're abandoning themselves in small ways and wants to understand what it really takes to choose yourself before life forces the choice. KEY MOMENTS [02:13] — I share how Nina's upbringing in a Jersey Italian immigrant family restaurant created an innate foundation for understanding food as medicine [04:57] — Nina opens up about dropping everything when her best friend Christa was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and how it felt like her dharmic path opening [07:31] — I explore with Nina what it meant to shed the skin of her "maiden wild woman" identity and transition into devotion, discipline, and sacrifice [14:24] — Nina reflects on starting Nina Cucina after witnessing how difficult it was for Christa to find truly clean, healing food during treatment [23:53] — I get real about my belief that mental health is often the "health crisis before the health crisis" and how self-abandonment patterns manifest physically [40:07] — Nina shares her observations about how women lack permission to prioritize themselves and why we need communities that celebrate rather than compete in suffering [46:34] — I reflect on the elusive nature of self-love and how sometimes it takes significant suffering before we're willing to truly choose ourselves ABOUT THE GUEST Nina Pullella is a Board-Certified Ayurvedic Practitioner, herbalist, and chef based on O'ahu, Hawai'i. She is the founder of two businesses: Nina Cucina, a seasonal meal delivery service, and Living Ayurveda Hawaii, her holistic health practice and home of the Wild Woman Collective, a year-long immersive container for women ready to return to rhythm, reclaim their health, and reconnect with ancestral wisdom. She also studies and practices la'au lapa'au, traditional Hawaiian plant medicine. Nina's work bridges ancient healing traditions with modern life, helping women stop piecing their wellness together and start living it. GUEST LINKS * The Wild Woman Collective: https://www.living-ayurveda-hawaii.com/wild-woman-collective [https://www.living-ayurveda-hawaii.com/wild-woman-collective] * Living Ayurveda Hawaii: https://www.living-ayurveda-hawaii.com/ [https://www.living-ayurveda-hawaii.com/] * Instagram: https://instagram.com/living.ayurveda.hawaii [https://instagram.com/living.ayurveda.hawaii] Nina's best friend Christa Wittmier — known to many as Super CW — is the subject of the PBS Hawai'i documentary "The Adventures of SUPER CW": https://www.pbshawaii.org/the-adventures-of-super-cw/ [https://www.pbshawaii.org/the-adventures-of-super-cw/] ABOUT THE SHOW From the Ashes is part of The Vibrant Visionary — a space for people who are tired of pretending they're fine and hungry for a more honest way of living. This podcast is devoted to bold conversations and evolutionary dialogue that empower healing, self-trust, and vibrant authenticity. Rather than chasing certainty or success for its own sake, From the Ashes explores what it means to live with intention in a world that often pulls us away from ourselves. Through thoughtful, unfiltered conversations, this show is for those who feel alone in their struggles yet still hold a quiet vision for something more aligned. It's not about becoming someone new — it's about remembering who you are, and daring to believe your desires are worth listening to. If this episode resonated, please share it or leave a review. These conversations grow through word-of-mouth, and your voice helps them reach the people who need them. ABOUT VALERIE Valerie Hwang Beck is a Vitality & Vision Mentor, Ayurvedic Practitioner, and founder of The Vibrant Visionary. Her work is for people who feel disconnected or discouraged yet long for a life that feels aligned, meaningful, and true. Valerie supports those who've been knocked down by life but still desire to create boldly. Through From the Ashes, she hosts conversations that prioritize honesty over performance, inquiry over dogma, and evolution over easy answers. DOWNLOAD THE FREE BLUEPRINT Download the free Vibrant Visionary Blueprint — a practical guide to reclaim your energy, clarity, and creative fire. thevibrantvisionary.com [https://www.thevibrantvisionary.com] STAY IN THE LOOP Join the mailing list for weekly reflections and episode announcements. Subscribe here [https://www.intrepidwellness.life/signup] CONNECT 📬 valerie@thevibrantvisionary.com [valerie@thevibrantvisionary.com] 📱 @vibrantvisionary.val [https://instagram.com/vibrantvisionary.val] 📺 YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@the-vibrant-visionary]

The Artist Who Stopped Auditioning for His Own Life: Breaking Free from Hollywood's Popularity Contest with Alvyn Villanueva

How One Artist Ditched the Popularity Contest and Start Creating for Himself... I sat down with Vibrant Visionary member Alvyn Villanueva, artist and founder of Really Hueman, to explore his path from chasing validation in Hollywood's animation industry to finding authentic creative expression. We get real about the paradox so many artists face — understanding intellectually what needs to change but struggling to embody it in a world that constantly measures worth through follower counts, industry recognition, and getting hired. This conversation unpacks the slow work of separating survival from art, the importance of foundational stability before creative risk-taking, and what it actually takes to build a life that doesn't depend on external approval.  This conversation is for creative professionals who understand intellectually that their value isn't determined by likes or paychecks, but are still working out how to embody that truth in a world that constantly tells them otherwise. KEY MOMENTS [01:40] I ask Alvyn about his motivation to help entrepreneurs, and he shares his respect for people who buck societal expectations of safety to pursue their own path. [04:24] Alvyn opens up about his work-related struggles in Hollywood animation, describing the constant chase for validation and the uphill battle of trying to fit in. [05:40] He reflects on the tipping point during lockdowns when choosing not to get vaccinated blacklisted him from Hollywood jobs and peer acceptance. [08:03] Alvyn gets honest about the frustrating paradox of understanding dance mechanics intellectually but feeling his body couldn't reproduce what his mind had figured out. [15:08] I explore how the lessons from dance community dynamics crossed over into his animation career, particularly around authenticity versus performing for acceptance. [24:36] He shares his realization that art school might have actually boxed him in stylistically, and how he now purposely experiments without needing polish. [31:50] Alvyn explains his focus on body and health as foundation, saying "when your body is functioning properly, you have energy and clarity" to see what you really want. [35:25] He offers his biggest lesson from two years in the collective: "Give it an honest try, listen to silence as much as you listen to other people, trust in the universe." ABOUT OUR GUEST Alvyn Villanueva is the founder of Really Hueman, an artist, dancer, and full spectrum hue-man based in the SF Bay Area. After two years of intensive work in my Vibrant Visionary Collective, he's transitioned from stuck in Hollywood animation burnout to building an independent creative practice rooted in authentic expression rather than external validation. GUEST LINKS * Instagram: https://instagram.com/really_hue.man [https://instagram.com/really_hue.man], https://instagram.com/alvynart [https://instagram.com/alvynart] * YouTube: https://youtube.com/@really_hue_man [https://youtube.com/@really_hue_man] * Website: https://www.reallyhueman.com [https://www.reallyhueman.com/] ABOUT THE SHOW From the Ashes is part of The Vibrant Visionary — a space for people who are tired of pretending they're fine and hungry for a more honest way of living. This podcast is devoted to bold conversations and evolutionary dialogue that empower healing, self-trust, and vibrant authenticity. Rather than chasing certainty or success for its own sake, From the Ashes explores what it means to live with intention in a world that often pulls us away from ourselves. Through thoughtful, unfiltered conversations, this show is for those who feel alone in their struggles yet still hold a quiet vision for something more aligned. It's not about becoming someone new — it's about remembering who you are, and daring to believe your desires are worth listening to. If this episode resonated, please share it or leave a review. These conversations grow through word-of-mouth, and your voice helps them reach the people who need them. ABOUT VALERIE Valerie Hwang Beck is a Vitality & Vision Mentor, Ayurvedic Practitioner, and founder of The Vibrant Visionary. Her work is for people who feel disconnected or discouraged yet long for a life that feels aligned, meaningful, and true. Valerie supports those who've been knocked down by life but still desire to create boldly. Through From the Ashes, she hosts conversations that prioritize honesty over performance, inquiry over dogma, and evolution over easy answers. JOIN THE VIBRANT VISIONARY COLLECTIVE The Collective is where this work gets implemented — with correct sequencing, direct support, and a community of people doing the same courageous work together. Learn more at thevibrantvisionary.com. thevibrantvisionary.com [https://www.thevibrantvisionary.com/thecollective] STAY IN THE LOOP Join the mailing list for weekly reflections and episode announcements. Subscribe here [https://www.intrepidwellness.life/signup] CONNECT 📬 valerie@thevibrantvisionary.com📱 @vibrantvisionary.val [https://instagram.com/vibrantvisionary.val]📺 YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@the-vibrant-visionary]

Unexpected Life Lessons from My Café Coworkers

ABOUT THIS EPISODE I'm back in solo format for a mini episode, and today I'm sharing something I didn't see coming when I took a part-time job at a café in Tokyo. What started as a challenge to get fluent in Japanese has turned into one of the most unexpectedly rich experiences of my life. My coworkers, ranging from 20-somethings to people in their 50s, are showing me what it actually looks like to live with curiosity, pursue what genuinely interests you, and find joy in the every day. This one is for anyone who's ever felt pressure to have a polished, linear career — and wondered if there might be another way. KEY MOMENTS [00:49] — I share the theme for today: lessons learned from working at a café in Tokyo, and why I decided to take a part-time job in a foreign language in the first place. [01:54] — I open up about how these coworker relationships have radically shifted my perspective on what it means to be a Vibrant Visionary. [02:04] — I get honest about a goal I held last year — global coaching career, stages, big money — and how I've come to recognize it as a culturally implanted desire that doesn't actually resonate with me. [04:09] — I share what I find fascinating about Japanese part-time culture: people who move fluidly between industries, not out of failure, but out of genuine curiosity — and how that's not just accepted here, it's normal. [05:24] — I tell the story of my new work bestie from Osaka, who moved herself and her husband to Tokyo to pursue her interest in coffee — and what her courage quietly gave me permission to do. [07:09] — I reflect on how in the States, changing careers feels like abandonment — like something that will be held against you — and why I think that's a travesty. [10:00] — I land on what a life well lived actually means to me: the freedom to pursue your curiosity, develop your gifts, and give back from a full cup rather than one that's constantly emptying out. [13:07] — I share the story of a coworker who goes on monologues about coffee experimentation — orange blossom syrups and all — and why his spark of curiosity is the most vibrant thing I've witnessed all week. ABOUT THE SHOW From the Ashes is part of The Vibrant Visionary — a space for people who are tired of pretending they're fine and hungry for a more honest way of living. This podcast is devoted to bold conversations and evolutionary dialogue that empower healing, self-trust, and vibrant authenticity. Rather than chasing certainty or success for its own sake, From the Ashes explores what it means to live with intention in a world that often pulls us away from ourselves. Through thoughtful, unfiltered conversations, this show is for those who feel alone in their struggles yet still hold a quiet vision for something more aligned. It's not about becoming someone new — it's about remembering who you are, and daring to believe your desires are worth listening to. If this episode resonated, please share it or leave a review. These conversations grow through word-of-mouth, and your voice helps them reach the people who need them. ABOUT VALERIE Valerie Hwang Beck is a Vitality & Vision Mentor, Ayurvedic Practitioner, and founder of The Vibrant Visionary. Her work is for people who feel disconnected or discouraged yet long for a life that feels aligned, meaningful, and true. Valerie supports those who've been knocked down by life but still desire to create boldly. Through From the Ashes, she hosts conversations that prioritize honesty over performance, inquiry over dogma, and evolution over easy answers. JOIN THE VIBRANT VISIONARY COLLECTIVE The Collective is where this work gets implemented — with correct sequencing, direct support, and a community doing the same courageous work together. thevibrantvisionary.com [https://www.thevibrantvisionary.com/] STAY IN THE LOOP Join the mailing list for weekly reflections and episode announcements. Subscribe here [https://www.intrepidwellness.life/signup] CONNECT 📬 valerie@thevibrantvisionary.com 📱 @vibrantvisionary.val [https://instagram.com/vibrantvisionary.val] 📺 YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@the-vibrant-visionary]

Who Are You Without the Conditioning? Authenticity, the Not-Self, and the Cost of People-Pleasing with Tarna Fuller

This episode is a role reversal — I hand the mic to Tarna Fuller, Ayurvedic practitioner and founder of Lotus Honey Integrative Health, and let her interview me about one of the most overused and under-examined words in the wellness world: authenticity. I get real about what authenticity actually requires — why it isn't available to someone in survival mode, how our earliest coping strategies become the very patterns that sabotage our growth, and what I call the "not-self" and why facing it is non-negotiable. We also move into territory that doesn't get discussed enough: the Vedic concept of the observer self, what enlightenment actually looks like in practice, and why wanting to skip straight to liberation is itself a sign that healing still needs to happen. This one is for you if you've ever followed all the right steps and still felt like something was off — or if you've started to wonder whose life you're actually living. KEY MOMENTS [01:16] — I open up about flipping the format entirely: Tarna takes the host seat and interviews me, and I explain why authenticity is the theme we're unpacking together today. [03:14] — I share my core belief that authenticity is the key to a fulfilled life, and that when people truly embrace what's unique to them — their body, ancestry, history — it doesn't just benefit them, it creates the conditions for more compassion and harmony in the world. [07:00] — I get specific about grad school as a concrete example of a choice made with almost no real desire behind it, and how that misalignment led to years of depression — and why that little doubt in the back of your mind is usually right. [12:36] — I lay out what I mean by "not-self": it's not your true nature, it's your conditioning — the coping strategy you built in childhood to get your needs met, and why people-pleasing is a textbook example of a shadow strength that comes with a heavy cost. [29:10] — I explain why authenticity has prerequisites, grounding this in Ayurveda: the concept of svastha — being settled in the self — is what makes it possible to choose your direction, and without that foundation, you're just paddling to not drown. [40:30] — I reflect on a wound I've carried since first grade — being pulled out of class and missing playtime — and trace how that early experience of exclusion has followed me all the way to Japan, where I still find myself triggered by being left out, even when the reality is completely different. [53:28] — I push back on the idea that the child had no choice: the not-self was itself a survival choice, and recognizing that reframes shame into something more workable — we defaulted on that choice instead of refreshing our operating system for new situations. [01:05:27] — I share what guides my work as a mentor: I'm not here to declare who Valerie is, I'm here to discover who Valerie is — and that orientation toward curiosity over certainty is what makes it possible to help others do the same. ABOUT TARNA FULLER Tarna Fuller is an Ayurvedic practitioner, respiratory therapist, yoga teacher, and founder of Lotus Honey Integrative Health [https://lotushoneyhealth.com/]. She works with high-achieving women who are over-giving, over-functioning, and running on patterns that once helped them survive — but are now quietly costing them their health and vitality. Blending Ayurvedic wisdom with nervous-system awareness and the practical reality of modern life, Tarna helps women rebuild their energy and reclaim their sense of self without dismantling the life they've already built — and she lives this work in real time as a mom of five. GUEST LINKS * Website: lotushoneyhealth.com [https://lotushoneyhealth.com/] * Facebook: Lotus Honey Integrative Health [https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=lotus%20honey%20integrative%20health] * YouTube: Tarna Fuller [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8RxwTJXGx4tS2Cseh0ds6Q] * Skool Community: Join here [https://www.skool.com/detox-5878/about?ref=12216445827f4f04953a2f449b6167c0] GLOSSARY OF TERMS Not-Self — The patterns of behavior that feel like "you" but are actually conditioning — ways of navigating the world you developed early in life to get your needs met. The not-self often shows up as a shadow strength: something that looks functional on the surface (like being very helpful or highly available) but carries a hidden cost in the form of resentment, depletion, or disconnection from what you actually want. Svastha — A Sanskrit term from Ayurveda that translates literally to "being settled in the self." It is the Ayurvedic definition of health — not the absence of symptoms, but a stable foundation of self-knowledge and self-regulation from which you can make real choices about your life. Dharma — A Sanskrit concept meaning your duty, role, or purpose — the particular way your life is meant to be lived given who you are, where you came from, and what you're here to contribute. Dharma is not a fixed identity; it can be expressed in countless ways, and you have far more creative agency within your dharma than most people realize. Sankhya Philosophy — One of the oldest schools of Vedic thought. It draws a distinction between the eternal, unchanging observer self (purusha) and the world of matter and experience (prakriti). The idea is that much of human suffering comes from over-identifying with the roles, circumstances, and emotions of this life, rather than recognizing the part of you that simply witnesses. DARVO — Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. A pattern where a person being held accountable responds by denying the behavior, going on the offensive, and repositioning themselves as the real victim. It can show up not only in abusive relationships but in everyday family and social dynamics whenever someone begins to claim more authentic boundaries or step outside expected roles. Bodhisattva — A figure in Buddhist tradition who has reached enlightenment but chooses to remain present in the world to help others reach the same understanding — an active, engaged way of being that meets suffering with awareness rather than avoidance. Nichiren Buddhism — A school of Buddhism founded in 13th-century Japan centering on the Lotus Sutra and the chanting practice of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. A core teaching is that enlightenment is accessible to ordinary people living ordinary lives, and the circumstances of your life are the very material through which awakening happens. ABOUT THE SHOW From the Ashes is part of The Vibrant Visionary — a space for people who are tired of pretending they're fine and hungry for a more honest way of living. This podcast is devoted to bold conversations and evolutionary dialogue that empower healing, self-trust, and vibrant authenticity. Rather than chasing certainty or success for its own sake, From the Ashes explores what it means to live with intention in a world that often pulls us away from ourselves. Through thoughtful, unfiltered conversations, this show is for those who feel alone in their struggles yet still hold a quiet vision for something more aligned. It's not about becoming someone new — it's about remembering who you are, and daring to believe your desires are worth listening to. If this episode resonated, please share it or leave a review. These conversations grow through word-of-mouth, and your voice helps them reach the people who need them. ABOUT VALERIE Valerie Hwang Beck is a Vitality & Vision Mentor, Ayurvedic Practitioner, and founder of The Vibrant Visionary. Her work is for people who feel disconnected or discouraged yet long for a life that feels aligned, meaningful, and true. Valerie supports those who've been knocked down by life but still desire to create boldly. Through From the Ashes, she hosts conversations that prioritize honesty over performance, inquiry over dogma, and evolution over easy answers. BOOK A VIBRANT VISION SESSION If you know there's more for you — but you feel stuck, unable to bridge the gap between where you are and the life you truly feel pulled towards — a Vibrant Vision Session is for you. It's a rare chance to be deeply listened to, get honest about what you actually want, and get clear on what's been standing in the way. Book your session here [https://tidycal.com/valeriehwangbeck/vibrantvision] STAY IN THE LOOP Join the mailing list for weekly reflections and episode announcements. Subscribe here [https://www.intrepidwellness.life/signup] CONNECT 📬 valerie@thevibrantvisionary.com [valerie@thevibrantvisionary.com] 📱 @vibrantvisionary.val [https://instagram.com/vibrantvisionary.val] 📺 YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@the-vibrant-visionary]

The Hidden Rewards of Staying Stuck: Why We Unconsciously Choose Suffering Over Growth with Michael Green

EPISODE SUMMARY In this conversation, I sit down with Michael Green, meditation teacher and Ayurvedic practitioner, for our third annual conversation exploring how self-study shapes our ability to navigate life's challenges. Michael shares his recent motorcycle accident in Bali and the moment his mind tried to spiral into catastrophic thinking — and how his meditation practice literally saved him from mental suffering. I open up about my experience returning to Japan after 13 years and discovering how much my relationship with myself has evolved through conscious self-observation. This episode is for anyone who's curious about the hidden ways we sabotage ourselves and why taking full responsibility for our inner landscape is both terrifying and liberating. KEY MOMENTS [02:04] — I introduce the concept of svadhyaya (self-study) as one of the three kriyas in yoga, explaining how it relates to discipline, surrender, and gaining equanimity [04:17] — I share how moving back to Japan has become a laboratory for observing my personal growth over the past 13 years [12:56] — Michael reflects on how meditation teachers can't authentically teach without practicing on themselves, and why self-care is actually service to others [37:02] — Michael recounts his motorcycle accident in Bali and the pivotal moment when he chose to redirect his attention from catastrophic thoughts back to his body [42:47] — Michael explores the seductive nature of victim mode and why spiraling into negativity can feel comfortable and familiar [52:16] — I introduce the thought exercise from "The Courage to Be Disliked" about flipping our assumptions — considering that we might be creating our own obstacles [54:27] — Michael shares Bashar's concept of unconsciously associating what we want with fear of change, keeping us stuck in safer but less fulfilling situations [59:27] — I reflect on how living between cultures creates unique opportunities to identify what makes us essentially human versus what's just conditioning ABOUT OUR GUEST Michael Green is a meditation teacher and certified Ayurvedic Practitioner who completed his meditation teacher training at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center. Since his first 10-day Vipassana retreat in India in 2007, he's studied various meditation traditions including Dzogchen and Tibetan Buddhism. After 20 years between New York City and Los Angeles, he's now based in Bali, where he continues teaching and practicing. GUEST LINKS * www.michaelgreenayurveda.com [http://www.michaelgreenayurveda.com] * michaelgreenayurveda.substack.com [http://www.michaelgreenayurveda.com] * t.me/michaelgreenayurveda [http://www.michaelgreenayurveda.com] ABOUT THE SHOW From the Ashes is part of The Vibrant Visionary — a space for people who are tired of pretending they're fine and hungry for a more honest way of living. This podcast is devoted to bold conversations and evolutionary dialogue that empower healing, self-trust, and vibrant authenticity. Rather than chasing certainty or success for its own sake, From the Ashes explores what it means to live with intention in a world that often pulls us away from ourselves. Through thoughtful, unfiltered conversations, this show is for those who feel alone in their struggles yet still hold a quiet vision for something more aligned. It's not about becoming someone new — it's about remembering who you are, and daring to believe your desires are worth listening to. If this episode resonated, please share it or leave a review. These conversations grow through word-of-mouth, and your voice helps them reach the people who need them. ABOUT VALERIE Valerie Hwang Beck is a Vitality & Vision Mentor, Ayurvedic Practitioner, and founder of The Vibrant Visionary. Her work is for people who feel disconnected or discouraged yet long for a life that feels aligned, meaningful, and true. Valerie supports those who've been knocked down by life but still desire to create boldly. Through From the Ashes, she hosts conversations that prioritize honesty over performance, inquiry over dogma, and evolution over easy answers. BOOK A VIBRANT VISION SESSION If you know there's more for you — but you feel stuck, unable to bridge the gap between where you are and the life you truly feel pulled towards — a Vibrant Vision Session is for you. It's a rare chance to be deeply listened to, get honest about what you actually want, and get clear on what's been standing in the way. Book your session here [https://tidycal.com/valeriehwangbeck/vibrantvision] JOIN THE NEWSLETTER Join my mailing list for weekly reflections and episode announcements. Subscribe here [https://www.intrepidwellness.life/signup] CONNECT 📬 valerie@thevibrantvisionary.com 📱 @vibrantvisionary.val [https://instagram.com/vibrantvisionary.val] 📺 YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@the-vibrant-visionary] Production: Madeleine Reede