34. When You Can't Stop Exercising

34. When You Can't Stop Exercising

Last week, I talked about resistance to exercise and how movement can become safer when it is no longer tied to weight loss, punishment, or proving yourself. This week is the other side of the coin: what happens when exercise becomes compulsive and rest starts to feel threatening. Movement can be genuinely regulating. It can help us feel strong, embodied, capable, grounded, and in control. But that is also why it can become hard to stop. For some people, exercise becomes the one place they can access agency, discharge anxiety, manage food guilt, or feel safe inside their own body. In this episode, I'm talking about compulsive exercise through a nervous system lens: why the behavior can make so much sense, why slowing down can feel dysregulating at first, and why the goal is not to demonize movement, but to find a dosage that is sustainable. We'll talk about: * why exercise can become addictive * the difference between choosing movement and feeling controlled by it * exercise as compensation, regulation, escape, and agency * why rest can feel like collapse * all-or-nothing patterns with movement * how to start building a more sustainable relationship with exercise * why slowing down is not a lack of discipline, but its own skill Movement can stay in your life without taking over your life. Mentioned in this episode: the difference between movement as regulation and movement as compulsion, rest as a nervous system challenge, and what it can look like to tolerate the fear of doing less. More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram (daily thoughts + short-form content) instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]

33. How to Rebuild Your Relationship with Exercise (after diet culture)

Exercise can be hard to separate from weight loss, calorie burning, food compensation, discipline, and body control. In this episode, I'm talking about how to rebuild your relationship with movement after dieting, binge eating, restriction, or years of using exercise as a way to change your body. For a lot of people, exercise does not feel neutral. It can bring up old rules, old pressure, old fear, old rebellion, or the sense that movement only matters if it leads to weight loss or somehow "counts." But movement can also be something else. It can be a way to move energy through the body. It can help discharge anxiety, shift a flat or frozen state, interrupt rumination, and create a different relationship with your own body. It can be slow, ordinary, rhythmic, gentle, practical, or enjoyable. It does not have to be organized around punishment, compensation, or proving anything. I also talk about what happens when diet culture thoughts still show up while you're trying to move differently. Those thoughts may be present because they were built over time. Their presence does not have to define the meaning of what you are doing now. This episode is about reclaiming exercise and movement from diet culture, and finding a way back to movement that feels more like support than self-control. In this episode, I talk about: * why exercise can feel charged after years of dieting * how movement gets paired with weight loss, control, and morality * exercise as a way to move energy through the nervous system * why low motivation may be connected to overwhelm, not laziness * how slow, steady movement can help thaw a flat or frozen state * how higher-energy movement can help discharge anxiety * why diet culture thoughts may still appear * how to build a new relationship with movement without making it another rule More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram (daily thoughts + short-form content) instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]

32. Supporting a Partner Through Binge Eating Recovery (a conversation with my actual husband)

In this episode, Stef talks with her husband, Mike, about what it was like to support her through years of binge eating, restriction, body shame, and recovery. They talk about what he noticed in the early years of their relationship, what he misunderstood, what helped him understand binge eating more clearly, and why trying to "fix" it usually didn't work. They also discuss the quieter parts of support: listening without judgment, staying steady when recovery felt terrifying, not making weight gain the center of the relationship, and having a life outside of the eating disorder so the relationship could still hold more than distress. This conversation is for anyone supporting a partner, spouse, friend, or family member through binge eating recovery, and for anyone in recovery who worries that their struggle is taking up too much space in their relationship. It is a real look at what support can sound like when someone does not fully understand the eating disorder, but is still willing to stay present, learn, and keep taking the next step with you. More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram (daily thoughts + short-form content) instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]

31. Hilary Duff, "Strong Not Small," and Body Diversity in Wellness

Hilary Duff's "Strong Not Small" campaign has brought up a bigger conversation about wellness culture, diet culture, fitness ideals, and the way bodies are still expected to show up. On the surface, "strong not small" sounds like progress, especially for millennial women who grew up in the early 2000s celebrity body-shaming era. We were taught to fear weight gain, compare ourselves to famous women, and treat thinness as proof that we were disciplined, desirable, and doing life correctly. But what happens when the new ideal still looks very similar to the old one? In this episode, I'm talking about Hilary Duff's strength-training campaign, the shift from "skinny" to "strong," and how wellness culture can repackage diet culture in language that sounds more empowering. This isn't about criticizing Hilary Duff personally, and it's not about criticizing strength training. Movement, muscle, and feeling strong in your body can be genuinely supportive. The issue is the pressure that shows up when "healthy" still has to look toned, small, youthful, sculpted, and commercially beautiful. We'll get into why fitness and wellness messaging can feel inspiring while also activating the same body-image pressure many women are trying to recover from. I also talk about how social media, celebrity culture, wellness trends, and fitness campaigns shape what we believe is normal, even when we logically know celebrities have access to trainers, money, editing, time, and resources most people do not. Topics covered in this episode include: * Hilary Duff's "Strong Not Small" campaign * Millennial body image and early 2000s beauty standards * Why "strong, not skinny" can still become a body standard * The overlap between wellness culture and diet culture * How fitness trends create pressure, rebellion, or over-compliance * Why your nervous system absorbs imagery before your logic can argue with it * The problem with equating health with visible aesthetics * How to reconnect with movement, strength, and wellbeing on your own terms * Questions to ask yourself when "shoulds" start moving in on your empowerment More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]

30. When Body Image Meets Aging: a conversation with Deb Benfield

Aging is natural, but women are rarely allowed to experience it that way. In this episode, I talk with Deb Benfield, author of Unapologetic Aging, about the pressure women face to keep defying the evidence. This conversation is really about the promise underneath anti-aging culture: that if we can stay young enough, thin enough, smooth enough, or close enough to the ideal, we might stay safe, wanted, respected, and socially protected. Deb talks about why that promise is so powerful, why it becomes especially intense in midlife, and why it can cost women so much of their attention, creativity, sexuality, and actual life. We also talk about the body hierarchy, the fear of becoming irrelevant, the way younger women are being pulled into anti-aging fear earlier than ever, and what it means to come back into the body from the inside rather than constantly evaluating it from the outside. This is a conversation about aging, but more than that, it's about compliance, embodiment, and the possibility of using midlife for something more... fun. Deb Benfield is 67, a registered dietitian, nutrition therapist, and body image coach who has spent over 40 years working in the ED and body image world. Her current work focuses on helping people mend their relationship with their aging bodies. Deb's Unapologetic Aging Circle [https://www.debrabenfield.com/group-coaching] Deb's Book: Unapologetic Aging [https://www.debrabenfield.com/book] More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram (daily thoughts + short-form content) instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]