30. The Part of Me Trauma Couldn't Erase

30. The Part of Me Trauma Couldn't Erase

"What if that voice wasn't really mine?" This one is for anyone who has ever questioned themselves after trauma. For the survivors who are still living in it. For those years into healing. And for anyone who has ever wondered why shame can feel louder than compassion. Trauma doesn't just leave behind painful memories. Sometimes it leaves a voice that was never really ours to begin with, one that criticizes, blames, and convinces us we're too much. This episode follows what happened after a panic attack ended: the shame that rushed in once the danger had passed, the surprising comfort found in a few unexpected animals, and the quiet discovery of a more compassionate voice waiting underneath it all. Healing isn't about becoming someone new. It's about remembering the part of ourselves that trauma couldn't erase. Because just because a voice is loud... doesn't mean it's yours. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2459424/fan_mail/new] The personal experiences shared in this podcast are the opinions of the individuals sharing them and are not intended to serve as professional advice or constitute accusations about any other person, organization, or group. We encourage you to seek professional support and assistance.  The topics discussed in this podcast may be distressing and triggering for some listeners and could impact your mental health.  The content of this podcast is intended for educational and awareness purposes only. For more information and resources, please visit hanginthere.net.

29. Beyond Coercive Control: To My Friend- I Didn't Choose To Let You Go

"I didn't choose to lose our friendship. I didn't choose to let you go. I just didn't know I was disappearing." This one is for the friendships that quietly disappeared. For the survivors who lost people they never meant to lose. And for the friends who spent years wondering what happened, and whether they did something wrong. Sometimes people don't pull away because they stopped caring. Sometimes they are surviving something they don't have language for yet. And sometimes both people are grieving something neither of them chose to lose. Coercive control doesn't just isolate survivors from themselves. It quietly removes the people around them too. One by one. Without anyone fully understanding why. And it leaves behind two people, both grieving, both confused, both carrying questions that never got answered.  This episode explores what isolation actually looks like from the inside. How it happens without a single rule being stated. How it creates shame in the survivor who disappeared, and quiet hurt in the person left behind. And how healing can begin when the truth finally arrives, even years later. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2459424/fan_mail/new] The personal experiences shared in this podcast are the opinions of the individuals sharing them and are not intended to serve as professional advice or constitute accusations about any other person, organization, or group. We encourage you to seek professional support and assistance.  The topics discussed in this podcast may be distressing and triggering for some listeners and could impact your mental health.  The content of this podcast is intended for educational and awareness purposes only. For more information and resources, please visit hanginthere.net.

28. Beyond Coercive Control: To Myself: I Still Love Her

"I see clearly now. And I still love her." Two voices share this episode. One is inside the story, young, hopeful, learning what love is supposed to feel like. The other is watching her. Quietly. From a place of hard-won clarity. Not to warn her. Not to intervene. Just to witness her with the tenderness she always deserved. What follows is an intimate journey through survival, from the earliest moments when something inside her knew, to the years of losing herself quietly, to the day she finally found her voice and walked out for the last time. And through all of it, Now is there. Watching. Waiting. Loving her anyway. If you have ever looked back at an earlier version of yourself with shame or frustration or grief, this episode is an invitation to try something different.  To find the part of you that sees everything you were carrying and still loves you for how hard you tried. That voice exists inside you. This episode will help you find it. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2459424/fan_mail/new] The personal experiences shared in this podcast are the opinions of the individuals sharing them and are not intended to serve as professional advice or constitute accusations about any other person, organization, or group. We encourage you to seek professional support and assistance.  The topics discussed in this podcast may be distressing and triggering for some listeners and could impact your mental health.  The content of this podcast is intended for educational and awareness purposes only. For more information and resources, please visit hanginthere.net.

27. Beyond Coercive Control: To My Parents- You Loved Me Through It

"You weren't silent because you approved. You were silent because you loved me." Walking into a small entryway. Physically and emotionally exhausted. Carrying bags, holding onto dogs, trying to hold onto the kids. Trying to hold onto myself. And you just… made room for us. In this episode I write a letter to my parents. To the people who loved me through something they couldn't fully see. Who stayed available even when they didn't know what to say. Who watched me go back again and again and kept the door open anyway. Tuesday phone calls on a landline. Lawyers who couldn't help. Missed holidays that slowly became normal. A magic wand no one could wave. And a voice in the background saying three words that changed everything. This episode is for every survivor who never found the words to tell their family what those years cost them. For every parent who watched their child disappear and didn't know whether speaking up would help or make things worse. For the child waiting to hear the door is still open. For the parent waiting for them to walk back through it. And for every survivor whose family wasn't there at all, this episode holds space for you too. Coercive control doesn't just affect the person living inside it. It spreads outward quietly. Into families. Into silence. Into the way everyone around it learns to survive too. Love doesn't always look the way we expect it to. Sometimes it looks like a door that stayed open. Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2459424/fan_mail/new] The personal experiences shared in this podcast are the opinions of the individuals sharing them and are not intended to serve as professional advice or constitute accusations about any other person, organization, or group. We encourage you to seek professional support and assistance.  The topics discussed in this podcast may be distressing and triggering for some listeners and could impact your mental health.  The content of this podcast is intended for educational and awareness purposes only. For more information and resources, please visit hanginthere.net.

26. Beyond Coercive Control: To My Siblings- Finding Our Way Back

"It can disrupt what you have. It can damage it. It doesn't erase what was real." There's a photograph I think about sometimes. All of us at the end of the driveway. Shorts and smiles. Not a care in the world. I didn't know then how much would change. How quietly it would happen. How one day I would look back at that photograph and try to remember what easy felt like. In this episode I write a letter to my siblings. To the ones who were always supposed to be there, and to the relationships that changed slowly, quietly, before any of us realized what was happening. Wrestling matches on living room couch cushions. Hockey in boots. A dirt-bike driven straight into a fence. Bunk beds and late night conversations. The first person I called when something big happened. And then, the drift. The isolation that looked like pulling away but wasn't. An envelope full of documentation. Going back anyway. And an email typed with shaking hands, words that weren't mine, that broke something that had always felt easy. For years there was silence. And then, pizza with no plates and no cups. And the slow imperfect work of finding our way back. This episode is for every survivor who lost family connections during the hardest years. For every family member who watched someone they loved disappear and didn't understand why. And for anyone carrying grief over relationships that coercive control quietly damaged. The distance wasn't what it seemed. And some things, even after everything, don't erase.  Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2459424/fan_mail/new] The personal experiences shared in this podcast are the opinions of the individuals sharing them and are not intended to serve as professional advice or constitute accusations about any other person, organization, or group. We encourage you to seek professional support and assistance.  The topics discussed in this podcast may be distressing and triggering for some listeners and could impact your mental health.  The content of this podcast is intended for educational and awareness purposes only. For more information and resources, please visit hanginthere.net.