S3E6 - What Makes Healthy and Unhealthy Leaders: Hard Conversations, Character + Servant Leadership

S3E6 - What Makes Healthy and Unhealthy Leaders: Hard Conversations, Character + Servant Leadership

This week, we dive into leadership and why it matters for every man. Most people think of leadership as something reserved for business owners, managers, or people with authority, but the reality is that we're all leading somewhere. As fathers and husbands, the way we show up influences the people around us and shapes the culture of our homes, workplaces, and communities. In this conversation, we unpack what healthy leadership actually looks like and why so many leaders get it wrong. We explore why leadership is less about competency and more about character, why servant leadership creates healthy cultures, and how many of the same qualities that make someone a good leader also make them a good father. We also discuss some of the common reasons people struggle in leadership, including insecurity, performance-based identity, a need for control, and the tendency to avoid hard conversations. Along the way, we talk about the responsibility leaders have to bring calm in moments of chaos, make difficult decisions when necessary, communicate clearly, and put the needs of others ahead of their own. Ultimately, we look to Jesus as the model for healthy leadership. By paying attention to how He lived, served, spoke, and led in the Gospels, we find a perfect example of leadership rooted in humility, courage, conviction, and care for others. Whether at home, at work, or in the community, His example challenges us to lead in a way that helps others flourish. 7 Practices of a Healthy Leader: 1. Practice daily self-leadership by managing yourself well before leading others. 2. Clarify and repeat the vision consistently so people know where they are headed. 3. Have hard conversations early, addressing issues with both kindness and honesty. 4. Create healthy feedback loops and invite others to speak openly. 5. Serve in unseen ways, looking for opportunities to put others first. 6. Filter complaints wisely, discerning which concerns need action and which do not. 7. Be available and present with the people you lead, investing time in relationships. Intentional Fatherhood Retreat [http://intentionalfatherhood.org/retreat]: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX Scripture Mentioned: Proverbs 29:18 + Proverbs 11:10 Previous Episode Mentioned: S3E3: The Dangerous Lie About Calling and Success (YouTube [https://youtu.be/eUWQmSL8IrA?si=Ga9LafiDum3mzQpO], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/episode/4mjtwxeXGIYrYEpMQK51S1?si=6d20bdfe952f4a08] + Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s3e3-the-dangerous-lie-about-calling-and-success/id1818945136?i=1000768519680]) Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org [hello@intentionalfatherhood.org], mentioning your name and where you’re from. Intentional Fatherhood Website [https://www.intentionalfatherhood.org/] Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ [https://www.instagram.com/intentionalfatherhood_/] on Instagram Watch + Subscribe on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@intentional_parents] Intentional: Website [https://www.intentionalparents.org/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/intentional_parents/] Justin Whitmel Earley: Website [https://www.justinwhitmelearley.com/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinwhitmelearley/]

S3E5 - You Have Enough Time for the Life God Actually Called You To

In this episode, we continue our conversation on stewardship by looking at one of our most valuable and limited resources: time. Time is the currency of our purpose, and stewarding it well means finding the balance between laziness and anxiety. While some of us need to embrace greater ambition and intentionality, others need to embrace the gift of limitation. Rest, sleep, Sabbath, and slower rhythms are not flaws in our design, they are part of it. Drawing from Ephesians 5:15-16, we discuss what it means to “redeem the time.” The goal is not perfect productivity but faithful stewardship. You may not have enough time to do everything you want to do, but you do have enough time to do the things God is calling you to do. Wisdom helps us release unrealistic expectations, trust God with the future, and use our days with greater purpose. We also explore the importance of using mornings and evenings well, building life-giving rituals, and developing habits that shape a sustainable rhythm of life. Because in the end, we redeem time not to become more productive, but to become the people God has called us to be. Practical ways to steward your time: 1. Structure important blocks of your day. 2. Track where your time goes. 3. Put your phone out of sight when working. 4. Sit with difficult problems instead of escaping them. 5. Write by hand to improve focus and clarity. 6. Create intentional phone settings for work, home, and Sabbath. Intentional Fatherhood Retreat [http://intentionalfatherhood.org/retreat]: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX Scripture Mentioned: Ephesians 5:15-16, Psalm 90:12 + Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 Book Mentioned: The Writing Life [https://www.amazon.com/Writing-Life-Annie-Dillard/dp/0060919884] by Annie Dillard Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org [hello@intentionalfatherhood.org], mentioning your name and where you’re from. Intentional Fatherhood Website [https://www.intentionalfatherhood.org/] Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ [https://www.instagram.com/intentionalfatherhood_/] on Instagram Watch + Subscribe on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@intentional_parents] Intentional: Website [https://www.intentionalparents.org/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/intentional_parents/] Justin Whitmel Earley: Website [https://www.justinwhitmelearley.com/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinwhitmelearley/]

S3E4 - Stewardship of Your Money, Radical Generosity + Purposeful Simplicity

This week, we talk about money, work, providing, and vocation through the lens of biblical stewardship. Stewardship is the faithful management of what belongs to God, and Scripture reminds us that our money, time, relationships, influence, families, and opportunities are ultimately His, not ours. Jesus speaks often about greed and warns against living with an ownership mindset instead of a steward’s heart. We explore what it looks like to faithfully steward not only finances, but also our wives, children, organizations, and responsibilities. Seeing ourselves as stewards kills entitlement and reshapes how we use our resources for the good of our families, neighbors, churches, and communities. The conversation also highlights the importance of simplicity and generosity, which means living with intentional limits instead of unnecessary excess, while cultivating a lifestyle of open-handed giving with our money, time, and energy. We also discuss practical ways to build habits and structures around generosity, including the idea of capping your lifestyle while leaving your generosity uncapped. Rather than drifting financially, families should decide ahead of time what “enough” looks like and create a plan for giving radically and intentionally. Practical Steps: * As you anticipate or plan for an increase in finances, discuss with your spouse what your capped lifestyle looks like. * Create a plan for generosity, including specific categories, the timing, how much, etc. 3 Questions to Ask Yourself: 1. What have you been given? 2. What does faithfulness look like in those areas? 3. What needs to change in how you’re handling it? Intentional Fatherhood Retreat [http://intentionalfatherhood.org/retreat]: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX Scripture Mentioned: 1 Timothy 6:10, Luke 12:13-21, Luke 12:48, 1 Corinthians 4:2, Matthew 6:19-24 + Matthew 6:1-8 Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from. Intentional Fatherhood Website [https://www.intentionalfatherhood.org/] Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ [https://www.instagram.com/intentionalfatherhood_/] on Instagram Watch + Subscribe on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@intentional_parents] Intentional: Website [https://www.intentionalparents.org/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/intentional_parents/] Justin Whitmel Earley: Website [https://www.justinwhitmelearley.com/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinwhitmelearley/]

S3E3 - The Dangerous Lie About Calling and Success

This episode wraps up our conversation on the spiritual foundation of work before we move into the practical side of vocation and calling. We explore the tension between ambition and idolatry, and how we were created to pursue meaningful things, yet how easily ambition can become self-centered. Together, we discuss how Scripture reframes ambition as something good when it’s rooted in humility, service, and faithfulness rather than ego, pride, or status. Justin reflects on how his understanding of “making it” was shaped by watching his father’s success and notoriety, while Brook shares how parenting a child with special needs has reshaped his view of ambition, rhythms, and career expectations. We also talk through the things that often hold us back from healthy ambition: fear, comfort, distraction, comparison, exhaustion, financial pressure, and the lies we believe about ourselves. Ultimately, we ask what it looks like to pursue success with integrity and a focus on spiritual formation, remembering that the goal is not selfish ambition, but courage, humility, and faithfulness. Practices: 1. Be honest with trusted friends about your ambition. 2. Be honest with trusted friends about your idols. 3. Be honest with trusted friends about the audacious dream(s) you’re afraid to say out loud. Intentional Fatherhood Retreat [http://intentionalfatherhood.org/retreat]: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX Scripture Mentioned: Philippians 2:3-9, John 8:44, Proverbs 11:10, 2 Corinthians 10:5 + Romans 12:2 Books Mentioned: Godly Ambition [https://www.amazon.com/Godly-Ambition-Unlocking-Potential-Treasure/dp/0593602463] by Ruslan KD, Every Good Endeavor [https://www.amazon.com/Every-Good-Endeavor-Connecting-Your/dp/1594632820] by Timothy Keller, Generous Justice [https://www.amazon.com/Generous-Justice-Gods-Grace-Makes/dp/0525951903] by Timothy Keller, Kingdom Calling [https://www.amazon.com/Kingdom-Calling-Vocational-Stewardship-Common/dp/0830838090]by Amy Sherman + On the Road with Saint Augustine [https://www.amazon.com/Road-Saint-Augustine-Real-World-Spirituality/dp/1587433893] by James K. A. Smith Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org [hello@intentionalfatherhood.org], mentioning your name and where you’re from. Intentional Fatherhood Website [https://www.intentionalfatherhood.org/] Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ [https://www.instagram.com/intentionalfatherhood_/] on Instagram Watch + Subscribe on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@intentional_parents] Intentional: Website [https://www.intentionalparents.org/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/intentional_parents/] Justin Whitmel Earley: Website [https://www.justinwhitmelearley.com/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinwhitmelearley/]

S3E2 - You Don’t Find Your Calling, You Form It + Killing the Lightning Bolt Myth

In this episode, we continue our season on work and vocation by tackling one of the most misunderstood words in the Christian life: calling. The thesis is simple but disruptive: you don’t find your calling, you form it. So much of our cultural imagination around vocation runs on what we call the “lightning bolt myth,” the idea that one day clarity will strike, you’ll know exactly what you’re made to do, and the path forward will appear. But that’s not how calling actually works, and waiting for the zap keeps a lot of men stuck living someone else’s life. We lean on a line from Dallas Willard that reframes the whole conversation: “Your job is not your calling; your calling is to become a certain kind of person.” Before vocation is ever a profession, it’s a formation, becoming the kind of person who, like Peter on the water, says, “Lord, if you’re there, call me to yourself.” From that foundation, the question shifts from what am I supposed to do? to who am I becoming, and where is God already at work in my story? Justin shares his own “calling moment” around writing, fatherhood, and being a missionary in China, and how each of those took years, sometimes a decade, to actually take shape. Brook walks through his unexpected path into ministry and Intentional, and how saying yes to something unglamorous turned out to be the doorway into the work he was made for. Along the way, we talk about the danger of succeeding at the wrong life, the way ambition can quietly turn into idolatry, and Carl Jung’s warning that until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct our lives and we’ll call it fate. We borrow a helpful framework from Bill Burnett and Dave Evans’ Designing Your Life, the overlap of what you enjoy, what you’re good at, and what the world needs, and we name that talent and even enjoyment are more formable than we tend to think. Calling is iterated, not discovered. We close with one of the most powerful practices we’ve shared on the podcast, Richard Foster’s prayer of relinquishment. It’s the practice of burying your hopes, dreams, and the version of yourself you’ve been chasing, and praying, Lord, resurrect whatever is from you, and let whatever needs to stay dead, stay dead. For many of us, that’s the doorway into actually forming a calling we couldn’t have planned. This conversation is a setup for next week, where we’ll dig into the question this whole episode raises: how do we have ambition without idolatry? Practices: * Pray the prayer of relinquishment: bury your hopes, dreams, and ambitions, and ask God to resurrect what is from Him and let whatever needs to stay dead, stay dead. * Revisit last week’s exercise and add a third circle: write down three things that give you life, three needs you see in the world, and three things you’re genuinely talented at, then look for where all three overlap. * Identify a repeated pattern in your life or family of origin around work and calling, and ask: where did this start, and is it still shaping me? Intentional Fatherhood Retreat [http://intentionalfatherhood.org/retreat]: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 14:22-33, Ephesians 2:8-10, Romans 8:28 + Exodus 2-3 Books Mentioned: Designing Your Life [https://www.amazon.com/Designing-Your-Life-Well-Lived-Joyful/dp/1101875321] by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans + Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home [https://www.amazon.com/Prayer-Finding-Hearts-True-Home/dp/0060628464/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.P6hmSRF7qRqJsqoa5runPT0QSaZIC0yRwfVV0f-la6HVBcfRRaN0BhgKPmeqjaRaWSgDu1POTKe2HJCVwPQvWENI1ut56HgntEqWxg2eO9xPtbkOBMi_2YO4ncyYQQad.Ef7onF6rXxoAQj2nVy5hSsF5TUuDoYQZ1gfgyxqpHSU&dib_tag=se&keywords=Prayer%3A+Finding+the+Heart%E2%80%99s+True+Home+by+Richard+Foster&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1778523986&sr=8-1] by Richard Foster Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from. Intentional Fatherhood Website [https://www.intentionalfatherhood.org/] Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ [https://www.instagram.com/intentionalfatherhood_/] on Instagram Watch + Subscribe on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@intentional_parents] Intentional: Website [https://www.intentionalparents.org/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/intentional_parents/] Justin Whitmel Earley: Website [https://www.justinwhitmelearley.com/] + Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinwhitmelearley/]