All Things Marriage with Dr. Chavonne

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking one of the most frustrating—and misunderstood—dynamics in a relationship: the anxious partner who longs for emotional validation, and the avoidant partner who’s just trying not to drown in overwhelm. If you’ve ever found yourself needing your partner to get what you’re feeling and help you through it… Or if you’ve ever felt like your partner’s emotions are a test you’re destined to fail… You’re in the right place. We’re getting to the root of what’s really going on underneath these reactions: * Why anxious partners often feel like they can’t handle big emotions alone * Why avoidant partners often feel like emotions = failure * And how both sides are doing their best to feel safe—but in ways that unintentionally trigger each other This episode will give you insight into your nervous system responses, the deeper emotional fears you might not even realize are running the show, and—most importantly—what to do about it. Because once you understand the real reason this feels so hard, you’ll finally have a clear direction forward. One that doesn’t involve blaming, fixing, or giving up.r And if you are looking for more help navigating these triggering cycles as a couple, I invite you to reach out to book a 20 Minute Marriage Solution Call, to experience firsthand the power of coaching to help you. Or if you are already interested in working with me through one of my coaching programs, you can book a complimentary consultation. Both links can be found on my website: DrChavonne.com [DrChavonne.com]

Have you ever felt desperate for more connection in your marriage—wanting to talk more, do more things together, feel like you're truly on the same page—but no matter how hard you try, your partner just doesn’t seem to meet you there? Or maybe you're on the other side—feeling like your partner always needs more from you than you can give, and all you want is a little space to think, breathe, and just be without feeling like you're letting them down. If either of those sound familiar, you're not alone—and you’re likely caught in the anxious-avoidant dynamic. In this episode, we’re unpacking that exact struggle: what happens when one partner craves closeness and the other craves space. When one feels rejected, and the other feels pressured. When you both want peace, but your patterns keep pushing each other further apart. You’ll learn: * Why the anxious partner often ends up feeling like they’re too much and not enough at the same time * Why the avoidant partner feels pressure to be someone they’re not, and shuts down to preserve their sense of self * What it really looks like to balance independence and intimacy in a healthy, respectful way * And the personal growth plans each of you can start implementing today to change the cycle and create something better This is one of the most common dynamics I work with—and the good news is: healing is absolutely possible when you understand the deeper needs underneath the behavior.

In today’s episode, we’re breaking down the emotional tug-of-war between anxious and avoidant partners—and why it’s so hard to stop, even when you both want things to be better. You’ll hear the real fears driving this dynamic: * Why the anxious partner is so afraid of being emotionally abandoned * Why the avoidant partner is terrified of not being enough * And how these fears fuel the very behaviors that keep you disconnected We’re going deeper than just communication tips—this is about the belief systems that live underneath your patterns. The unconscious drivers that have you stuck in criticism, defensiveness, shutdown, and silent suffering. If you’ve ever thought, “Why do we keep having the same arguments?” Or felt like, “No matter how hard I try, I still don’t feel close to my partner…” This episode will help you understand why—and what to do instead. Because real change happens when you understand what’s really going on inside you… and inside each other. If you are ready for help growing as an individual AND together as a couple, then I invite you to book a complimentary consultation call to discuss how my coaching approach can help you get there faster: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/ [https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/]

You’ve probably heard the phrase “own your emotions”—but what does that actually mean in a marriage? Does it mean your partner gets a free pass to ignore your feelings? Does it mean you’re supposed to just “deal with it” when you’re hurt or disconnected? Not even close. In this episode, we’re unpacking the delicate balance between emotional self-responsibility and relational needs. Because here’s the truth: Yes, your feelings are yours. But that doesn’t mean your relationship shouldn’t feel good. This conversation is for you if you’ve ever felt stuck between two extremes: “I shouldn’t depend on my partner for how I feel” and “But I also want to feel loved, valued, and supported in this relationship.” We’re diving deep into how to own your triggers without abandoning your needs, and how to express those needs in a way that builds true emotional safety and closeness in your marriage. This is where emotional intelligence meets healthy interdependence—and it might just change the way you show up in your relationship from this point forward. And if you're looking for help creating a marriage where you grow both individually and as a couple, I invite you to book a complimentary consultation call to discuss how one of my coaching programs can help. https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/ [https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/]

What if the friction in your relationship isn't just about unmet expectations, but a deeper misalignment in values and life goals? In this episode, we delve into the challenging yet liberating concept of recognizing when you and your partner might not be the right fit for each other. We'll explore: * Identifying Core Misalignments: Understanding when differing values, unmet needs, and divergent life paths signal a fundamental incompatibility. * The Importance of Self-Work: Ensuring you've done the inner work to distinguish between personal triggers and genuine mismatches. * Navigating the Realization: How to approach this awareness with compassion, reducing judgment and the urge to change your partner. * Redefining the Relationship: Embracing the possibility of transforming the relationship dynamic, whether that means adjusting expectations or parting ways amicably. This conversation isn't about giving up; it's about honoring your truth and creating space for both partners to thrive—together or apart. Tune in to discover how acknowledging a mismatch can be a courageous step toward personal growth and authentic connection. ALSO MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: It’s normal to have doubts—especially when love is there, but the differences feel hard to bridge. I invite you to book a complimentary consultation call with me to explore how my private coaching program can help. This is your chance to explore those lingering “What ifs” with clarity and compassion. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Let’s talk: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/ [https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/]