Episode 139 - Why You Don't Understand Your Spouse (Yet) with Marita Tedder

Episode 139 - Why You Don't Understand Your Spouse (Yet) with Marita Tedder

Why do so many loving couples still feel misunderstood? Most marriages don't struggle because of a lack of love- they struggle because of a lack of understanding. In this episode of Marriage iQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings welcome personality expert and bestselling author Marita Littauer Tedder to explore why your spouse thinks, feels, and responds so differently than you do. Drawing from nearly 60 years of personality research, Marita explains how understanding the way your spouse is wired can transform frustration into compassion and conflict into connection. You'll discover: ✨Why opposites often attract—and why they later clash. ✨The four core personality types and how they shape relationships. ✨The biggest mistake couples make when trying to love each other well. ✨How to recognize your spouse's unique emotional needs. ✨Why changing your expectations may be more powerful than trying to change your spouse. Whether you've been married for two years or thirty, this conversation will give you practical tools to better understand your spouse, strengthen your connection, and build a healthier marriage. Because sometimes the breakthrough you've been looking for starts with seeing your spouse through a different lens. 🔗Connect With Marita Littauer Tedder :thepersonalities.com [https://thepersonalities.com/] 👉Here is the links to previous episode that relate to today's topic : * Episode 02 : Knowing Yourself: A Cornerstone of an Intelligent Marriage [https://open.spotify.com/episode/7v3mKPYeWvFDl1ICEwFlxQ?si=91851c37aa52474b] SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/]

Episode 138 - The Midlife Shift Nobody Prepares You For with Dr. Sue McCreadie

Most people think midlife is about hormones. But what if the real challenge is learning how to navigate an entirely new season of life? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Scott and Heidi Hastings sit down with Dr. Sue McCreadie to explore the midlife shift that so many women experience-and the impact it can have on marriage, identity, confidence, and connection. From empty nest transitions and changing roles to evolving needs and shifting relationships, Dr. Sue explains why midlife can feel so unsettling and how couples can move through it together with greater understanding, intention, and love. You'll learn: ✨ Why midlife often feels like "puberty 2.0". ✨ The identity shifts that occur when children leave home and careers evolve. ✨How changing hormones can affect mood, sleep, confidence, and relationships. ✨Why couples often drift apart during major life transitions. ✨The six human needs that drive connection and fulfillment. ✨Practical ways spouses can better support one another through change. ✨How to stop asking, "What's wrong with me?" and start asking, "What am I becoming?" Whether you're experiencing midlife changes yourself or want to better understand what your spouse is going through, this conversation offers hope, perspective, and practical tools for navigating one of life's most significant transitions. The goal isn't to survive midlife-it's to grow through it together. 🔗Connect With Dr. Sue McCreadie : ⁠ [https://docorman.com/home]drsuemccreadie.com [https://www.drsuemccreadie.com/] 👉Here are links to previous episodes that relate to today's topic : * Episode 117 - An Uncertainty Expert on Letting Go of Control with Allison Carmen [https://open.spotify.com/episode/37YHTQR5GvadrvTiZnh6Qm?si=72c_lUDxQWGqrgC8lk1-KQ] * Episode 121 - Grief Almost Broke Us [https://open.spotify.com/episode/1sV3OatDY32ANfK9UWKTul?si=f03b227fe6f740d2] SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠]

Episode 137 - The Lie That's Fueling Your Marriage Arguments with Dr. Mort Orman

Most couples think their marriage arguments are caused by something their spouse said or did. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with Dr. Mort Orman- physician, anger elimination expert, and author of Dr. Orman's Life-Changing Anger Cure—to explore a surprising idea: the real cause of anger, relationship conflict, and recurring arguments may not be your spouse at all. If you've ever struggled with anger in marriage, communication breakdowns, resentment, emotional reactions, or the same fight happening over and over again, this conversation offers a completely different way of looking at the problem. Drawing from decades of experience helping professionals, couples, and organizations understand emotional intelligence and anger management, Dr. Orman explains how our brains create stories that fuel conflict- and how challenging those stories can transform our relationships. In this episode, you'll learn: ✨ The lie that fuels many marriage arguments. ✨ Why your spouse may not be the true source of your anger. ✨How your brain creates emotional reactions and resentment. ✨The difference between managing anger and eliminating it. ✨How to reduce reactivity and respond more thoughtfully during conflict. ✨Why perspective is one of the most powerful tools for a healthy marriage. ✨A practical framework for improving communication and conflict resolution. If you've ever wondered why you keep having the same arguments, why certain comments trigger you, or how to create a calmer, more connected relationship, this episode will give you practical insights you can start using immediately. 🔗Connect With Dr. Mort Orman : docorman.com [https://docorman.com/home] 📖 Grab your copy of Dr. Mort Orman's book right here : Life Changing Anger Cure [https://www.amazon.com/Ormans-Life-Changing-Anger-Cure/dp/1990090168/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8] Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, Marriage IQ earns from qualifying purchases. We only recommend books and resources from guests and experts whose work aligns with our mission of helping couples build stronger marriages. 👉Here are links to previous episodes that relate to today's topic : Episode 122 - The Real Reason You're So Angry with Davina Hehn [https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ZgaU7QD7cWSGrvZuB7Y5g?si=EAEEDojeTo-OMQAUpXr_-Q] SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠]

Episode 136 - How People Pleasing Makes You Lose Yourself in Marriage with Diane McDowell

At the beginning of a relationship, doing things for your spouse feels natural—even joyful. But what happens when it slowly turns into silencing your own needs, opinions, and desires? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with therapist and coach Diane McDowell to explore how people pleasing can quietly erode your sense of self and create distance in your marriage. We discuss why so many spouses struggle to speak their truth, how resentment often begins with self-abandonment, and what it takes to reconnect with your own identity without damaging your relationship. You'll learn how to recognize when you've been shrinking yourself, why your brain may be working against you during difficult conversations, and practical tools for staying true to yourself while building greater intimacy with your spouse. If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't even know what I want anymore," this episode is for you. 👉Here are links to the previous episodes mentioned in today’s show. * ⁠Episode 121 : Grief Almost Broke Us [https://open.spotify.com/episode/1sV3OatDY32ANfK9UWKTul?si=97e165bb61c145a6] * Episode 69 : How Meditation Improves Your Marriage (Backed by Science) [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6gqTeWCplfzgS5sYbJRlEH?si=f26375799fa847b6] 🔗Connect With Diane McDowell : ⁠emotionalsafetyco.com [https://www.emotionalsafetyco.com/] SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠]

Episode 135 - The Physical Reasons Sexual Intimacy Can Be Hard with Kristen Damery

What if the thing hurting your intimacy isn't a marriage problem at all? Many couples struggle with desire, pain, and disconnection without realizing a hidden physical issue may be part of the cause. In this episode, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with pelvic floor specialist Kristen Damery to explore the hidden physical factors that can affect desire, arousal, orgasm, confidence, pain during sex, and emotional connection in marriage. Kristen explains how pelvic floor dysfunction can impact intimacy throughout every stage of life—from newlywed struggles with painful intercourse, to postpartum recovery, bladder leakage, infertility-related stress, and the hormonal changes of perimenopause and menopause. She also discusses the role of the nervous system, trauma, communication, pelvic floor therapy, and why so many couples silently suffer from treatable physical issues that affect their sexual relationship. If intimacy has become more difficult, frustrating, painful, or confusing than it used to be, this conversation may uncover a hidden piece of the puzzle—and offer hope for a path forward. 🔗Connect With Kristen Damery : mylavalube.com [https://mylavalube.com/] ✨ LAVALUBE Exclusive Offer for Marriage iQ listeners: Use code IQ20 for 20% off 👉Here are links to the previous episodes mentioned in today’s show. * Episode 7 - Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love: Hormones & Connection [https://open.spotify.com/episode/5zFBq0CVT4WREjWZAmOE9Y?si=pYqrnjFEQOugmOL25xZTYw] * Episode 68 - How to Stop Overreacting in Your Marriage [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6y9JAPr6Tyw5xgU49Bx0ju?si=6327b19472304592] * Episode 69 - How Meditation Improves Your Marriage (Backed by Science) [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6gqTeWCplfzgS5sYbJRlEH?si=o6SCGkHdRLyROaVmVrYjgw] SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠]