Episode 140 - "Your Marriage Didn't Start on Your Wedding Day" with Larry Bilotta

Episode 140 - "Your Marriage Didn't Start on Your Wedding Day" with Larry Bilotta

The way you handle conflict. The way you give and receive love. Even the relationship patterns you don't realize you're repeating. In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Heidi and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with relationship expert Larry Bilotta, who shares how the experiences and beliefs we develop in childhood become the invisible blueprint for our marriages-and why real transformation begins by changing ourselves, not our spouse. After spending 27 years in a loveless marriage, Larry discovered that healing wasn't about fixing his wife. It was about recognizing the patterns he had carried into the relationship and choosing a different path. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ Why your childhood has more influence on your marriage than you may realize. ✨ The hidden patterns that keep couples stuck in the same painful cycles. ✨ What a midlife crisis may actually reveal about unresolved emotional wounds. ✨ Why lasting change begins with changing yourself. ✨ How becoming aware of your patterns is the first step toward breaking them. If you've ever wondered why the same struggles keep showing up in your relationship, this episode may help you discover that the answers have been with you far longer than you think. 🔗Connect With Larry Bilotta : ⁠ [https://docorman.com/home]youcansavethismarriage.com [https://youcansavethismarriage.com/] | larrybilotta.com [https://larrybilotta.com/] 📖 Grab your copy of Larry Bilotta's book right here : ⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Ormans-Life-Changing-Anger-Cure/dp/1990090168/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8]This Is Not the Woman I Married [https://www.amazon.com/This-NOT-Woman-Married-midlife/dp/B0DQYJ9PBP] Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, Marriage IQ earns from qualifying purchases. We only recommend books and resources from guests and experts whose work aligns with our mission of helping couples build stronger marriages. SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/]

Episode 139 - Why You Don't Understand Your Spouse (Yet) with Marita Tedder

Why do so many loving couples still feel misunderstood? Most marriages don't struggle because of a lack of love- they struggle because of a lack of understanding. In this episode of Marriage iQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings welcome personality expert and bestselling author Marita Littauer Tedder to explore why your spouse thinks, feels, and responds so differently than you do. Drawing from nearly 60 years of personality research, Marita explains how understanding the way your spouse is wired can transform frustration into compassion and conflict into connection. You'll discover: ✨Why opposites often attract—and why they later clash. ✨The four core personality types and how they shape relationships. ✨The biggest mistake couples make when trying to love each other well. ✨How to recognize your spouse's unique emotional needs. ✨Why changing your expectations may be more powerful than trying to change your spouse. Whether you've been married for two years or thirty, this conversation will give you practical tools to better understand your spouse, strengthen your connection, and build a healthier marriage. Because sometimes the breakthrough you've been looking for starts with seeing your spouse through a different lens. 🔗Connect With Marita Littauer Tedder :thepersonalities.com [https://thepersonalities.com/] 📖 Grab your copies of Marita Tedder's books right here : Amazon.com [https://www.amazon.com/stores/Marita-Littauer/author/B001H6KLXC?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=phvjr&content-id=amzn1.sym.7e190e19-9f6f-4df8-807a-5a7608594741&pd_rd_wg=iW9vr&pd_rd_r=8d23df32-f15d-4cd5-9aec-042140a8eacc&ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true] Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, Marriage IQ earns from qualifying purchases. We only recommend books and resources from guests and experts whose work aligns with our mission of helping couples build stronger marriages. 👉Here is the links to previous episode that relate to today's topic : * Episode 02 : Knowing Yourself: A Cornerstone of an Intelligent Marriage [https://open.spotify.com/episode/7v3mKPYeWvFDl1ICEwFlxQ?si=91851c37aa52474b] SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/]

Episode 138 - The Midlife Shift Nobody Prepares You For with Dr. Sue McCreadie

Most people think midlife is about hormones. But what if the real challenge is learning how to navigate an entirely new season of life? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Scott and Heidi Hastings sit down with Dr. Sue McCreadie to explore the midlife shift that so many women experience-and the impact it can have on marriage, identity, confidence, and connection. From empty nest transitions and changing roles to evolving needs and shifting relationships, Dr. Sue explains why midlife can feel so unsettling and how couples can move through it together with greater understanding, intention, and love. You'll learn: ✨ Why midlife often feels like "puberty 2.0". ✨ The identity shifts that occur when children leave home and careers evolve. ✨How changing hormones can affect mood, sleep, confidence, and relationships. ✨Why couples often drift apart during major life transitions. ✨The six human needs that drive connection and fulfillment. ✨Practical ways spouses can better support one another through change. ✨How to stop asking, "What's wrong with me?" and start asking, "What am I becoming?" Whether you're experiencing midlife changes yourself or want to better understand what your spouse is going through, this conversation offers hope, perspective, and practical tools for navigating one of life's most significant transitions. The goal isn't to survive midlife-it's to grow through it together. 🔗Connect With Dr. Sue McCreadie : ⁠ [https://docorman.com/home]drsuemccreadie.com [https://www.drsuemccreadie.com/] 👉Here are links to previous episodes that relate to today's topic : * Episode 117 - An Uncertainty Expert on Letting Go of Control with Allison Carmen [https://open.spotify.com/episode/37YHTQR5GvadrvTiZnh6Qm?si=72c_lUDxQWGqrgC8lk1-KQ] * Episode 121 - Grief Almost Broke Us [https://open.spotify.com/episode/1sV3OatDY32ANfK9UWKTul?si=f03b227fe6f740d2] SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠]

Episode 137 - The Lie That's Fueling Your Marriage Arguments with Dr. Mort Orman

Most couples think their marriage arguments are caused by something their spouse said or did. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with Dr. Mort Orman- physician, anger elimination expert, and author of Dr. Orman's Life-Changing Anger Cure—to explore a surprising idea: the real cause of anger, relationship conflict, and recurring arguments may not be your spouse at all. If you've ever struggled with anger in marriage, communication breakdowns, resentment, emotional reactions, or the same fight happening over and over again, this conversation offers a completely different way of looking at the problem. Drawing from decades of experience helping professionals, couples, and organizations understand emotional intelligence and anger management, Dr. Orman explains how our brains create stories that fuel conflict- and how challenging those stories can transform our relationships. In this episode, you'll learn: ✨ The lie that fuels many marriage arguments. ✨ Why your spouse may not be the true source of your anger. ✨How your brain creates emotional reactions and resentment. ✨The difference between managing anger and eliminating it. ✨How to reduce reactivity and respond more thoughtfully during conflict. ✨Why perspective is one of the most powerful tools for a healthy marriage. ✨A practical framework for improving communication and conflict resolution. If you've ever wondered why you keep having the same arguments, why certain comments trigger you, or how to create a calmer, more connected relationship, this episode will give you practical insights you can start using immediately. 🔗Connect With Dr. Mort Orman : docorman.com [https://docorman.com/home] 📖 Grab your copy of Dr. Mort Orman's book right here : Life Changing Anger Cure [https://www.amazon.com/Ormans-Life-Changing-Anger-Cure/dp/1990090168/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8] Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, Marriage IQ earns from qualifying purchases. We only recommend books and resources from guests and experts whose work aligns with our mission of helping couples build stronger marriages. 👉Here are links to previous episodes that relate to today's topic : Episode 122 - The Real Reason You're So Angry with Davina Hehn [https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ZgaU7QD7cWSGrvZuB7Y5g?si=EAEEDojeTo-OMQAUpXr_-Q] SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠]

Episode 136 - How People Pleasing Makes You Lose Yourself in Marriage with Diane McDowell

At the beginning of a relationship, doing things for your spouse feels natural—even joyful. But what happens when it slowly turns into silencing your own needs, opinions, and desires? In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings sit down with therapist and coach Diane McDowell to explore how people pleasing can quietly erode your sense of self and create distance in your marriage. We discuss why so many spouses struggle to speak their truth, how resentment often begins with self-abandonment, and what it takes to reconnect with your own identity without damaging your relationship. You'll learn how to recognize when you've been shrinking yourself, why your brain may be working against you during difficult conversations, and practical tools for staying true to yourself while building greater intimacy with your spouse. If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't even know what I want anymore," this episode is for you. 👉Here are links to the previous episodes mentioned in today’s show. * ⁠Episode 121 : Grief Almost Broke Us [https://open.spotify.com/episode/1sV3OatDY32ANfK9UWKTul?si=97e165bb61c145a6] * Episode 69 : How Meditation Improves Your Marriage (Backed by Science) [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6gqTeWCplfzgS5sYbJRlEH?si=f26375799fa847b6] 🔗Connect With Diane McDowell : ⁠emotionalsafetyco.com [https://www.emotionalsafetyco.com/] SOCIAL MEDIA 📸Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/marriage.iq?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MXVnYWlpYnVtcmtvaQ==]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🅵Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558652547411⁠⁠⁠]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ▶️YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/⁠⁠]