More Like Jesus with Len Wilson
“How can the guests of the bridegroom fast while he is with them? They cannot, so long as they have him with them.” Mark 2:19 Nothing dramatic happened. I woke up in Greg Engroff’s townhouse bedroom the morning of February 28, 2011, got ready for the day, and went to work at my new job at the United Methodist Publishing House. I knew the spiritual experience of the previous night had been real, but I had no idea what it meant. The night before, after breaking down, I’d called my wife. I filled her ear with what I’d realized—that I’d been living on spiritual quid pro quo, treating Jesus like a system instead of a Person. She listened. She felt my tears because she’s empathetic. But I think part of her didn’t know what to think. She was hurt. And she needed to see change over time before trusting again. My instrumental faith hadn’t just failed me. It had damaged the people closest to me. I’ve always written to think. So I started journaling—notes in my Bible study, thoughts about what I was discovering. This journaling became the foundation of what has become More Like Jesus. Two months later, I started a blog, partly to process my spiritual life and partly to create a new “church professional” online home as I explored whether it was possible to integrate my entire journey. I went to therapy for a while. New job opportunities emerged, which helped ease the financial strain. I learned to trust God more for my family’s financial life instead of trying to engineer outcomes through performance. In June, my family joined me in Nashville. A year later, we moved to Atlanta for a better-paying ministry job. In 2015, I released a book informed by these experiences, Think Like a Five-Year-Old, though I didn’t talk about that night in February. Nothing dramatic. Just slow, steady work. But something was changing inside me. Through my late twenties, I had played saxophone. I actually played at a few weddings—hired to provide background music during receptions. I knew no one at those events. I’d show up, set up my equipment, play standards and jazz for a couple of hours, then pack up and leave. I appreciated their joy, but I was disconnected from it. I was working. They were celebrating. I was also a wedding videographer a few times. Funny, the one time I knew the couple—my sister and her groom—I messed up the wedding videos. I guess I couldn’t enjoy the day and work it at the same time. I realized that for twenty years, I’d been the saxophonist at Jesus’ wedding. Professionally involved. Technically competent. Appreciating the joy from a distance. But I was performing. I used to even joke about being an employee for God. Jesus says, “How can the guests of the bridegroom fast while he is with them?” With his question, He’s making a radical claim. If Jesus really is the bridegroom—if He’s God entering into covenant with humanity—then this isn’t just a story about a first-century wedding. It’s a story about you and me. To call Him the Bridegroom is to say that God has entered a covenant of devotion, not distance. He doesn’t want our compliance. He wants our heart. Also, notice how Jesus adds something subtle but profound: the word “guest.” You’re not a worker or even an observer to the party. You’re a guest. That means your presence matters. It means your response matters. The host wants to know if you’re coming or not. In a wedding feast, guests aren’t passive. They’ve been invited for a reason. The expectation is that they will join the celebration. There’s history. There’s relationship. It would be an insult to blow it off. So what does it mean to not just attend a party, but to live as a guest of the bridegroom? At a wedding, the entire day is built around celebrating the moment. To be a guest of the bridegroom means your entire day is oriented around His presence. Think about that for a moment: If you truly believe Jesus is God, and you’ve been invited to His table, then nothing else can remain untouched. * Your time * Your relationships * Your money * Your desires * Even your pain It means your life becomes a response to His invitation. Not a checklist or a performance, but a reorientation of your entire being. When Jesus becomes your bridgegroom, everything else begins to orbit around Him. Your appetites find new purpose. Your attachments lose their grip. Your ambitions are reshaped into offerings. Jesus doesn’t ask you to manage sin with more willpower. He asks you to surrender your whole self to the joy of being with Him. Over time, that surrender reshapes you. You become more free, more alive, and more like Him, not because you’re trying harder, but because you’re staying closer. Over time, you will change. You’ll become more whole. More holy. More fully alive. This process has a name in Christian theology: entire sanctification, which means a life increasingly marked not by sin, but by love. This isn’t behavior management, but love, perfected over time. Not in knowledge alone or in behavior alone, but in being. This is the strange and beautiful logic of discipleship: God’s ongoing presence leads to a change of your entire self. In those years after February 27, 2011, change came. It was slow, and some days my life felt no better than it had been before. The financial pressure continued. The challenges of marriage and parenting didn’t magically disappear. I still struggled. But the first and biggest change become my ability to respond, which was fundamentally different. The best word I know to describe it is release. I was no longer trying to live up to a standard I couldn’t achieve. I wasn’t managing my performance to earn God’s favor or building a platform to prove I was a competent Christian leader. I was learning to be a guest at the wedding feast. Not performing. Not working the event like the sax player. Celebrating the Groom. My wife needed to see change over time before trusting again. And that’s exactly what sanctification is—transformation that others can witness because it’s real, not performed. It took years. The change in my life still happening! The seeds planted in tears that February night bore fruit slowly. But they bore fruit. And now, thirteen years later, I’m writing More Like Jesus from the fruit of those seeds. If Jesus really is the bridegroom, then this isn’t just a story about a first-century wedding. It’s a story about you. You can’t perform your way into His presence. You can only accept the invitation and show up as a guest. When Jesus is at the center of your life, everything else begins to orbit around Him. Not because you’re trying harder, but because you’re staying close. This is what it means to live as a guest of the bridegroom: your entire life oriented around His presence. Pray Jesus, if You are the bridegroom, then You deserve more than my courtesy or even my habits. You deserve my heart. Help me release every attachment that keeps me from loving You fully. Teach me what it means to be a guest at Your wedding feast—not performing but celebrating. Lead me into joy. Amen. Get full access to More Like Jesus by Len Wilson at lenwilson.substack.com/subscribe [https://lenwilson.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]
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