On Purpose with Jay Shetty

How to Communicate So People Actually Listen

How many times have you said something, and it didn’t come across the way you meant it to? Today, Jay unpacks why so many of us feel unheard at work, at home, and even in our closest relationships. He shares a powerful insight: communication isn’t defined by what you say, but by how it’s received. Most of us overestimate how clearly we express ourselves, creating a hidden gap between intention and impact. Jay reframes communication as a shared responsibility, reminding us that real connection isn’t about winning arguments, but about being clear, compassionate, and protecting the relationship while speaking your truth. Jay then explores the core principles that help people actually listen, beginning with the ability to regulate your nervous system before you speak. When emotions take over, we react rather than respond, often escalating conflict instead of easing it. He highlights why clarity is more powerful than intensity, and how simple, intentional language fosters trust and cooperation, while emotional overload creates distance. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Communicate So People Actually Listen How to Regulate Your Emotions Before Speaking How to Speak Without Triggering Defensiveness How to Ask Questions That Build Understanding How to De-escalate Difficult Conversations When you focus on being understood instead of being right, conversations become safer, relationships grow stronger, and conflict loses its power. With intention, patience, and compassion, your words can become a bridge, not a barrier, to the life and relationships you truly want. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe].  Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast [https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast] SpringFest is happening now, and our best lineup is here at http://www.lowes.com [http://www.lowes.com/] What We Discuss: 00:47 Are You a Good Communicator? 02:31 How Effective Communicators Make an Impact 03:24 #1: Regulate Before You Communicate 06:24 #2: Clarity Over Intensity 08:40 #3: People Argue with Threat NOT Facts 11:11 #4: Ask More Questions, Make Fewer Statements 12:51 #5: Tone Carries More Than Words 15:27 #6: End Conversations with Alignment 21:13 The Goal of Proper Communication See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

David Grutman: The Career Advice Everyone Gets Wrong (#1 Key to Opening Doors That Lead to Success)

What if everything you’ve been told about success is missing one key ingredient, how deeply you care?  Jay sits down with David Grutman, one of the most influential names in global hospitality, who built a world-renowned empire from the ground up. Together they unpack a powerful idea that challenges conventional wisdom: what if the real secret to success isn’t detachment, but deeply caring? From his early days as a bartender to creating iconic experiences that shape culture, David reveals how taking things personally, your work, your relationships, and every detail of what you put into the world, can become a driving force for growth. While most people are taught to brush things off, David chose the opposite, turning mistakes, rejection, and feedback into fuel to sharpen his craft and raise his standards. Jay highlights how David’s success wasn’t built on titles or transactions, but on genuine human connection. From remembering a guest’s drink to building long-term relationships with artists and entrepreneurs, David reveals that real influence comes from adding value without expectation. Jay reflects on how many people chase quick wins or surface-level networking, but true impact lies in playing the long game, showing up consistently, investing in others, and creating meaningful experiences that people never forget. In this episode you'll learn: How to Turn Mistakes Into Growth How to Build Relationships That Last How to Make People Feel Seen and Valued How to Build Confidence Without a Title How to Give Feedback That Actually Works How to Stay Grounded While Winning Every setback carries a lesson, and every interaction is an opportunity to build something meaningful. When you focus on adding value, staying curious, and giving your best, you begin to create momentum that others can feel. If you’re ready to level up how you show up in life and relationships, don’t miss David Grutman’s latest book, Take It Personal. Pre-order your copy today, visit: https://zandoprojects.com/books/take-it-personal-hardcover [https://zandoprojects.com/books/take-it-personal-hardcover]  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe]   Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast [https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast]  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:11 Why You Should Take It Personal 05:26 The Small Details That Make People Feel Seen 07:48 The Real Path to Self-Improvement 08:47 Turning Anger Into Growth 09:55 How to Give Feedback That Actually Works 11:22 Creating a 10/10 Customer Experience 12:41 Every Day Is a New Opportunity 14:20 Always Bet on Yourself 16:14 Building Something From Nothing 18:06 The Power of Genuine Relationships 21:33 Does Networking Actually Work? 24:09 How to Play the Long Game  28:31 The Truth About Real Success 31:10 Lessons From a Difficult Childhood 32:36 Becoming the Parent You Needed 33:57 Balancing Ambition and Family Life 35:12 Evolving Into Your Next Chapter 38:01 The Power of Being a Connector 39:35 Scarcity vs. Abundance Mindset 41:27 Check Your Ego at the Door  43:36 Staying Grounded While Winning 45:38 The Strength of a True Partnership 48:23 What Makes a Truly Great Idea? 50:19 What Makes Someone Worth Betting On? 51:40 Learning to Slow Down and Reflect 52:52 Finding Joy in the Present Moment 54:17 The One Rule to Live By: Just Be Good 56:14 David in Final Five  Episode Resources: Website | https://groothospitality.com/ [https://groothospitality.com/]  Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/davegrutman/ [https://www.facebook.com/davegrutman/]  Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/davidgrutman/ [https://www.instagram.com/davidgrutman/]  X | https://x.com/DaveGrutman [https://x.com/DaveGrutman]  See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

NOAH KAHAN: Imposter Syndrome, Anxiety & The Pressure of Success (What He’s Never Shared Before)

Jay sits down with singer-songwriter Noah Kahan to break down the pressure that comes after “making it” - the imposter syndrome, the constant comparison, and the fear of losing it all. Noah shares how music became his escape from anxiety growing up, what it felt like to finally land the record deal he dreamed of, and why success didn’t silence the doubt, it amplified it. Jay and Noah unpack the myth of the “tortured artist,” and the quiet fear that healing might take away what makes you creative. Noah opens up about his recent OCD diagnosis, how he let go of the belief that he had to suffer for his art, and what it took to find his voice again without relying on pain. Noah speaks candidly about his struggles with body dysmorphia and the unexpected therapy of creating his documentary. Together they explore what it means to find balance and to stop performing for the world so you can finally be seen by the people who matter most. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Stop Defining Your Worth by Your Work  How to Face Your Unseen Fears Through Therapy  How to Stay Present When Life Feels Overwhelming  How to Extract Lessons from Painful Feedback  How to Handle the Fear of Losing Your Success  How to Stay Grounded Between Praise and Criticism   How to Prioritize Your Time Over the Endless Grind Whether you are navigating a major life transition or simply trying to find your footing in a loud world, remember that your self-worth is not a mathematical equation based on your latest achievement. No one should have to navigate their mental health journey alone. Join Noah in the mission to prove that the more we share our stories, the more we empower others to do the same. Visit: https://www.busyheadproject.org/ [https://www.busyheadproject.org/]  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe]   Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast [https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast]  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:54 Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of Others  04:39 The Childhood Memory That Defined My Career  05:42 Middle Child Energy and the Need to Be Heard  06:57 Music Was My Only Plan A  08:44 The Disconnect Between Fitting In and Being Genuine   11:09 Expressing Yourself Without Giving Yourself Away  14:05 Songwriting: The Constant Search for a Simpler Life  17:25 Every Creative Process Is Different  18:52 When What You Do Becomes Who You Are  24:07 The Power of Journaling Your Lessons  27:05 Does Healing Kill Creativity?  29:48 My Biggest Regret in Communicating with Family  32:43 The Vulnerability of Filming Your Private Life  36:32 Healing and Finding Peace as a Family  43:51 Has Success Made Mental Health Harder or Better?  46:19 The Honest Truth about Body Dysmorphia  52:09 Living and Dying by Your Own Honesty  57:40 The Difference Between Going to Therapy and Doing Therapy  01:00:24 Do You Secretly Find Comfort in Your Pain?  01:02:01 Re-evaluating What Truly Matters After Success  01:05:59 Finding the Strength to Believe in Yourself  01:11:04 Protecting Your Heart While Taking Criticism 01:14:06 Stability Rooted in Love and Marriage 01:20:48 Would You Rather? 01:22:55 Gut Reaction 01:25:46 Noah on Final Five   Episode Resources: Website | https://noahkahan.com/ [https://noahkahan.com/]  YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/c/NoahKahan [https://www.youtube.com/c/NoahKahan]  Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/noahkahanmusic [https://www.facebook.com/noahkahanmusic]  Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/noahkahanmusic/ [https://www.instagram.com/noahkahanmusic/]  TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@noahkahanmusic [https://www.tiktok.com/@noahkahanmusic]  X | https://x.com/NoahKahan [https://x.com/NoahKahan] See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

7 Things to Tell Yourself Every Morning (Follow This Simple Morning Reset to Calm Your Mind Before the Day Begins)

Today, Jay shares how, before we even get out of bed, our minds are already filled with worries, quiet anxieties, and thoughts we didn’t choose. Instead of intentionally creating our day, most of us unknowingly inherit stress from yesterday. Drawing on both modern neuroscience and ancient wisdom traditions, Jay reframes the morning not as a routine, but as the foundation of our mental “operating system”, a critical window where our thoughts shape how we experience the next 16 hours. Rather than relying on empty affirmations, Jay offers a more grounded, evidence-based approach rooted in how the brain actually works. He explains how our minds are most programmable in the early morning, when emotions are heightened and our critical thinking is still waking up. This creates a rare opportunity to interrupt automatic patterns, reset our focus, and consciously direct our attention before the world begins to pull us in different directions. In this episode you'll learn: How to Take Control of Your Mind First Thing in the Morning How to Stop Inheriting Anxiety Each Day How to Rewire Your Thoughts in Minutes How to Protect Your Attention Early How to Measure Your Day with Purpose Not Productivity  Every morning is a quiet reset, an opportunity that doesn’t ask for perfection, only intention. You don’t need to have everything figured out, and you don’t need to feel ready.  SpringFest is happening now, and our best lineup is here at Lowe’s. Visit: https://www.lowes.com/ [https://www.lowes.com/]  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe]  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:26 Your Morning Is Programming the Rest of Your Day 04:17 The Creator's Hour 08:48 #1: I Am Awake Before My Problems 12:29 #2: I Am Not Yesterday 15:17 #3: Today I Direct My Attention 18:40 #4: I Won't Try to Solve Problems That Haven't Happened Yet 21:48 #5: My Body Isn't a Vehicle For My Head 25:14 #6: I Focus on What Matters Most, Not What Feels Urgent 28:25 #7: I Measure Today by Who I Am, Not Just What I Achieve See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Dr. Gabor Maté: Constantly Worrying What People Think of You? (THIS Simple Shift Will Help You Trust Yourself and Stop Seeking Approval)

In this special live conversation at the Orpheum Theatre in Vancouver, Canada, Jay sits down with renowned physician and trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté for a deeply moving exploration of identity, healing, and the hidden patterns that shape our lives. Gabor explains that our obsession with how others perceive us often begins in childhood, when our fundamental need to be seen and understood isn’t fully met. In response, many people unconsciously adapt, hiding parts of themselves or becoming who they think others want them to be in order to feel accepted and loved. In this episode you'll Learn: How to Stop Living for Others’ Approval How to Break Generational Trauma Patterns How to Know If You’re Living Your True Life How to Stop Tying Your Worth to Productivity How to Recognize When Stress Is Hurting You How to Listen to Your Inner Voice Again How to Start Saying “No” Without Feeling Guilty How to Practice Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism How to Turn Your Past Coping Patterns Into Healing How to Ask the Question That Changes Your Life Real change doesn’t come from forcing yourself to be perfect or trying to fix everything overnight. It begins with small moments of awareness, pausing long enough to listen to that quiet inner voice, asking honest questions about what feels true for you, and giving yourself permission to honor it.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe]   Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast [https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast]  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:41 Why Do We Care So Much About Others’ Opinions? 03:10 Learning to Love People the Way They Need 04:53 How Childhood Shapes Our Need for Approval 06:46 The Dangerous Belief: “I’m Only Valuable If…” 11:02 Why Do We Feel Guilty When We Rest? 12:37 What Stress Is Really Doing to Your Brain and Body 16:19 Saying “No” Is Essential for Your Wellbeing  21:05 The Power of Asking Yourself Honest Questions 23:44 How to Listen to Your Gut Again 29:52 A Live Compassionate Inquiry Session 33:23 Your Healing Is Helping Your Children 35:08 Trusting the Wisdom Already Inside You 36:53 Your Coping Mechanisms Aren’t Failures 40:11 Turning Past Mistakes Into Lessons 41:45 Balancing Self-Improvement and Self-Acceptance 47:54 The Question That Can Change Your Life Episode Resources: Website | https://drgabormate.com/ [https://drgabormate.com/]  YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsRF06lSFA8zV9L8_x9jzIA [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsRF06lSFA8zV9L8_x9jzIA]  Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/drgabormate [https://www.facebook.com/drgabormate]  Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/gabormatemd/ [https://www.instagram.com/gabormatemd/]  X | https://x.com/drgabormate [https://x.com/drgabormate] See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.