She Said Drive Safe…So I Planned Our Future

She Said Drive Safe…So I Planned Our Future

This week on On The Howse, John and Julian take a trip down delusion lane in an episode we’re calling: “I Used to Think That Meant She Liked Me.” From “she laughed at my joke” to “she made eye contact for 3 seconds,” we’re breaking down all the moments we thought were signs she was into us — but were really just… politeness, vibes, or our own wild projections. We also reflect on the times we were doing the absolute most to win someone over — and they still didn’t get the ick (because they were never paying that much attention). 🛑 Red flags? Missed signals? Certified delusions? We’ve got all three. Stick around for the ending where we drop some fake wisdom and real laughs, because growth isn’t always about learning — sometimes it’s just about being too tired to fall for the same trap twice.

The Toxic Trait Fantasy Draft: Who Needs Therapy the Most?

This week, we’re drafting red flags like it’s the NBA Combine for emotional damage. Julian and John go head-to-head in the first-ever Toxic Trait Fantasy Draft, building their dream teams of walking chaos. From girls who ghost and Venmo to astrology addicts and club fighters, no toxic trait is safe. Expect wild picks, unexpected stories, and plenty of moments that’ll make you question your own dating history. Who built the better team? Who needs therapy more? And which trait would actually break you?

Birthday Shenanigans & Out-of-Character Moments

This week, it’s all about birthday vibes and unexpected chaos as John visits Julian to celebrate another trip around the sun. The duo recap a weekend full of memorable moments, including interesting encounters, bold food choices, and some truly strange compliments. Things got weird—in the best way—and both John and Julian found themselves acting a little out of character. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, and you might even relate a little too much.

We Deleted the Dating Apps (and Here’s Why)

John and Julian are back in their feelings—and their inboxes. In this episode, they open up about their frustrating experiences with dating apps, why they decided to delete them (we know already why John did), and what they’re learning about connection, patience, and self-worth. They also take a stroll down memory lane to highlight some of their favorite podcast moments from last year, laughing (and maybe cringing) along the way. And in a heartfelt turn, Julian shares a powerful conversation with his mom that ended up changing his perspective—and maybe his whole life.

Is It Just a Checkbox or Real Feelings?

(insert fire show notes)