#68: A Working Mum, A Home-Based Dad, and What Equal Parenting Actually Looks Like

#68: A Working Mum, A Home-Based Dad, and What Equal Parenting Actually Looks Like

Sumit Singla is a self-employed HR leader in Gurgaon who works primarily from home while his partner Kirti manages a full-time corporate career. Together, they are raising Samiah, their almost eight-year-old, in a household where gender roles are consciously – and organically – questioned every single day. In this conversation, Sumit talks about why he walked away from a high-travel consulting career in 2019, what equal parenting actually looks like on an ordinary day, how he and Kirti divide emotional and practical responsibilities, the guilt Kirti still carries as a working mother, what society gets wrong about fathers, and what he would tell his pre-parent self about showing up for a partner post-delivery. Why You Should Listen If you have ever wondered whether the traditional parenting script is the only one available, this episode is for you. Sumit is thoughtful, funny, and consistently self-aware. He refuses the "hero" label, challenges the framing of "brave fathers," and says several things in this conversation that will stay with you long after it ends. This one is for parents, partners, and anyone thinking about what equal really means at home. Notable Quotes * "If your reaction stays the same when gender roles are reversed, then the reaction is fair. Otherwise, you need to think about it." * "We're not heroes. We're just maybe restoring the balance of the universe a little bit." * "Active involvement, step one, is being available to listen." * "It's perfectly fine for a father to express emotion – and especially to tell their child that they love them." * "Parenthood is not only about caring for the new life. It's also about being supportive and telling your partner that you're on the same side as them." Practical Takeaways * Equal parenting lives in the small, daily things: the morning routine, dentist runs, school WhatsApp corrections. * Non-judgmental listening is the foundation of a child's trust – and it has to start early. * For new and expectant dads: a C-section is major surgery. Your partner needs your full presence in recovery, not just your excitement about the baby. * You don't need to teach values. Live them. Kids watch far more than they listen. * Parenting disagreements don't always need resolution. Two valid opinions can coexist. * Reducing your partner's mental load isn't help – it's just parenting. Resources & References * 📚 Stories of South Asian Supergirls: Samiah's favourite book, featuring Amrita Shergill, Kalpana Chawla, and more. Wonderful for young readers. Available on Amazon India and at most bookstores. * 🎨 Amrita Shergill: pioneering modernist painter: wikipedia.org/wiki/Amrita_Sher-Gil * 🚀 Kalpana Chawla: first woman of Indian origin in space: nasa.gov * 💛 Postpartum Support International: postpartum.net * 🧠 iCall: free mental health support in India: icallhelpline.org * 👉 Follow Sumit on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/waywordideas] * 🔗 Connect with Sumit on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/sumitsingla/] Themes & Tags Equal parenting | Active fatherhood | Gender roles at home | Work-from-home dads | Parenting in India | Postpartum recovery | Values-based parenting | Raising girls | Working mothers | Mental load --- 🎙 If this conversation resonated, share it with a parent, partner, or friend who needs to hear it. Subscribe to Parenthoot with Neha and leave a review – it helps these stories reach more people. ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

From One Child to a Movement: Jo Chopra-McGowan on Disability, Inclusion, and Building Latika Roy Foundation

Jo Chopra-McGowan – activist and co-founder of the Latika Roy Foundation in Dehradun – sits down with Neha for a conversation that is equal parts memoir, manifesto, and revolution. Born into a large activist Catholic family in Massachusetts, Jo came to India in her early twenties, married Ravi Chopra, and adopted a premature baby girl – Moy Moy. When Moy Moy was rejected by a mainstream school, Jo didn't petition or protest – she built a school. What began as a morning program for one child slowly became one of India's most respected disability-inclusive organizations, now housed in a landmark building designed entirely around dignity, access, and joy. This episode traces that entire arc – from Jo's impulsive, justice-fuelled youth, through the joy, grief and grace of parenting Moy Moy, to the philosophy of inclusion that now shapes every hallway, ramp, and quiet room at Latika. Why You Should Listen If you have ever felt like the systems around your child simply weren't built for them — this episode is for you. Jo speaks with rare honesty about fear, loss, imposter syndrome, and the particular loneliness of giving your life to something larger than yourself. She also makes inclusion feel not like a policy but like a way of being human. Notable Quotes * "When I look back at the pictures of the baby I thought was absolutely beautiful, I see this beaky little scrawny chicken. But I was just gone. I was so in love with her." * "There's this primitive fear that nobody can be for Moy Moy what we are – and yet I realize how silly that was, because I was not her birth mother either." * "You have to have fear, you have to be worried – that anxiety pushes you forward, makes you learn new things. You don't learn the lesson from somebody telling you." Practical Takeaways * Community is infrastructure. Jo built a "Moy Moy's Circle" of people who loved and committed to her daughter. That circle became the foundation – literally – of Latika. Who is in your child's circle? * Behaviour is communication. Jo reminds us that when we understand what a child is experiencing – sensory, emotional, environmental – we can change almost everything. This applies to every child, not just disabled ones. * Inclusion benefits everyone. Text messaging, subtitles, OXO kitchen tools, countdown traffic lights – all invented for disabled people, now used by everyone. Designing for the margin improves life at the centre. * Impulsivity + systems = alchemy. Jo's self-described recklessness, paired with a grounded team, built something 32 years strong. Know which one you are – and find your counterpart. * The cost is real. Jo names what this life took: proximity to her children and grandchildren, financial security, a sense of belonging anywhere. Naming the cost doesn't diminish the choice. It honours it. Resources & References * Latika Roy Foundation: https://latikaroy.org [https://latikaroy.org/] * Moy Moy's Circle: https://www.amazon.in/Moy-Moys-Circle-Disability-Together/dp/9357315195?s=bazaar [https://www.amazon.in/Moy-Moys-Circle-Disability-Together/dp/9357315195?s=bazaar] * Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO): vsointernational.org [https://www.vsointernational.org/] - the UK organisation that sent Paula, Latika's foundational volunteer * OXO Good Grips: oxo.com [https://www.oxo.com/] - the universal-design kitchen brand Jo references About the Guest Jo Chopra-McGowan is an American-born activist, writer, and disability rights advocate based in Dehradun, India. She is the co-founder of the Latika Roy Foundation, which for over 32 years has worked to create inclusive, dignified spaces for children and adults with disabilities. Jo is a TEDx speaker and a fierce, funny voice for a world built to work for everyone. Connect with Jo on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jo-chopra-mcgowan-984b899/] --- Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow Parenthoot on your favourite podcast platform and leave a review if this conversation stayed with you. ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

#67: Building Brands, Raising Babies, and Losing Yourself: Maya Varma on Entrepreneurial Motherhood

In this episode, Neha sits down with Maya Varma – entrepreneur, co-founder and Chief Brand & Product Officer of fashion labels Joker & Witch and Teejh – for a conversation that is equal parts raw and revelatory. Maya and her husband Satish built two thriving brands together, raised a few dogs, and then in 2020, in the middle of a pandemic, had their son Vivaan. What followed was a reckoning – with identity, with partnership, with anger she didn't recognise as her own, and with a version of motherhood nobody had prepared her for. This episode traces that entire arc: the early euphoria of building together, the slow erosion of boundaries between work and marriage, the postpartum haze, the resentment, the therapy, and the ongoing, imperfect journey back to herself. Why You Should Listen If you are a mother who has ever felt like the invisible load is entirely yours – the night feeds, the googling, the logistics, the emotional labour – this episode will feel like someone finally said it out loud. Maya doesn't perform healing. She talks about the cycles of fight and cold war, the anger that landed on her child and scared her, the solo trip to Delhi where she slept eight hours straight and called it a luxury. She talks about what it actually takes to work on a marriage after a decade, what individual therapy did that couples therapy couldn't, and why asking for help is not defeat – it's the only way through. If you are building something while raising someone, this one's for you. Practical Takeaways * Start a memory draft. Maya has kept a running draft email since Vivaan was five months old – milestones, first words, funny moments, things she'll miss. A low-effort, high-return ritual any parent can begin today. * Solo travel, even briefly, counts. A two-day work trip to Delhi where Maya slept uninterrupted became her first real reset. You don't need a retreat – you need a night that belongs only to you. * Individual therapy before couples therapy. Maya found that working inward first – understanding her own triggers, expectations, and patterns – made everything else more possible. * Bring your child into your workspace if you can. Maya set up a nursery corner in their office, breastfed during breaks, and let Vivaan grow up around the team and dogs. It's not for everyone, but it dissolved the guilt of the binary choice. Resources & References * Joker & Witch: Maya's fashion jewellery label, known for bold, story-led design. jokerandwitch.com [https://www.jokerandwitch.com/] * Teejh: Maya's second label, focused on contemporary Indian jewellery. teejh.com [https://www.teejh.com/] * On postpartum depression and mood changes: Many mothers go undiagnosed for years. If Maya's experience resonates, the iCall helpline (India) offers accessible mental health support: icallhelpline.org [https://icallhelpline.org/] * On entrepreneurial loneliness: Paul Graham's essay "How to Do What You Love" and the broader canon around founder mental health speak to the isolation Maya describes. About the Guest Maya Varma is the co-founder and Chief Brand & Product Officer of Joker & Witch and Teejh, two of India's most distinctive fashion jewellery labels. She built both brands alongside her husband and business partner Satish, whom she met in 2013 and married in 2015. A self-described creative, passionate, and deeply grounded person, Maya draws on her Kerala roots, her love of nature, and a finely tuned instinct for design and people. She is also a mother to five-year-old Vivaan and to three dogs – and is, by her own admission, still figuring it all out. Follow Maya on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kmayavarma/] --- Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow Parenthoot on your favourite podcast platform and leave a review if this conversation stayed with you.  ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

#66: Vivitsa Kohli on Unplanned Pregnancy, Ambition, and Retrieving Yourself After Motherhood

Vivitsa Kohli is a potter, business owner, and mother to Maitreya, born in 2023. She describes herself as ambitious, calculative, disciplined — and not particularly fond of unplanned things. Which makes an unplanned pregnancy quite the plot twist. In this episode, Vivitsa speaks with rare, unmasked honesty about first trimester depression, the deep physical and emotional inequity of pregnancy, the anger she felt at having to sacrifice more than her partner ever could, and the long wait before she actually began to enjoy her child. She also talks about protecting her ambition with zero apology, navigating an equal marriage that comes with its own flavour of conflict, and the slow, quiet process of retrieving herself as her son Maitreya grew into a talking, laughing, chaos-causing toddler. Why You Should Listen If you have ever felt angry during pregnancy and didn't know where to put it — this episode is for you. If you've waited longer than felt acceptable to enjoy your baby — this episode is for you. If you're an ambitious woman trying to hold your work, your identity, and your child all at once — Vivitsa sees you, names it, and refuses to apologise for any of it. Notable Quotes * "There was a very deep sense of this is unfair. This is unequal. There is never going to be anything that this person can do that would balance it." * "That unfairness of that pregnancy made me shamelessly ask for help." * "Vivitsa Kohli as a human being is not really here anymore. It's Vivitsa Kohli the mom who tries to do other things also." * "Moms just give up, bro. They give up their selves and lives. They just have to." Practical Takeaways * Asking for help is not weakness. For Vivitsa, the inequity of pregnancy became the very thing that broke open her resistance to asking. Shamelessly and specifically. * Adapting ambition is not abandoning it. She didn't give up her work — she recalibrated expectations, leaned on her support network, and protected even 40% of her vision. The vision stayed alive. * Not enjoying your newborn is more common than anyone admits. Vivitsa was candid that enjoyment came almost two years in, when Maitreya began to talk. There is no universal timeline for falling in love with early motherhood. * Equal partnerships require more negotiation, not less. Shared control means shared conflict. Learning to ask for what you need without leading with complaint is its own skill — one she's still building. * Morning time is a lifeline. Four to five hours of kindergarten in the morning changed everything for Vivitsa — yoga, work, creative time, and the ability to show up as a mother for the rest of the day. About Vivitsa Kohli Vivitsa Kohli is a potter and business owner currently based in Israel with her partner Constantine and their son Maitreya. Her work as a maker is instinct-led and tactile — she creates because she cannot not create. She is currently working on expanding her studio practice and her India-based business operations. Follow Vivitsa on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/vivikoh.studio/] --- Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow Parenthoot on your favourite podcast platform and leave a review if this conversation stayed with you. ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

#65: Worth The Wait: One Woman's Journey Through Infertility, Unexpected Pregnancies and a Partnership Built to Last

In this deeply personal episode, Neha sits down with Snigdha Ghosh Roy — digital marketing entrepreneur, mother of two, dog parent to Fang, and partner of fifteen years to Tushar Das. Snigdha's story is not a straight line. It winds through eight years of infertility treatment, a deliberate decision to stop, adoption registration, two completely unexpected natural pregnancies, pandemic parenthood, and the quiet daily work of building a marriage between two people who are, by every measure, poles apart. What holds it all together, she says, is one word: acceptance. Not resignation — acceptance. This episode is about what that actually looks like in practice. Why You Should Listen If you have ever felt like your life is moving sideways when everyone else seems to be moving forward — this one is for you. Snigdha speaks with rare candour about infertility's isolation, the sunk cost trap of repeated treatments, what a miscarriage feels like when no one around you has the vocabulary for it, and how she and Tushar found their footing not in spite of their differences but because of the work they did around them. She also talks about what it means to parent with intention — firmly, warmly, and without making your children into projects. Notable Quotes * "Acceptance is not resignation. Acceptance is understanding and absorbing the person or the situation as they are, before you can do anything about it." * "My life revolved around these cycles and these injections. And then they tell you the dates when you need to try. It's God awful. It's disgusting after a while." * "I was so broken that I didn't cry. It was more a loss of hope. It was deeper than tears." * "We talk about love language. We never talk about the fight language. It took me years to understand how important it is to fight, to confront, to resolve." * "Children need more space than we admit. They don't need to be projects. The easiest way for them to have what you want them to have is to let them observe that." Practical Takeaways * Name the fight language. In calm moments, tell your partner what you need when you're upset — what the indicators are, when to give space, when to step in. Don't assume they'll read the room. * Let the village be messy. Different caregivers, different rules. Rather than enforcing uniformity, Snigdha teaches her children that every person has different preferences — and that's not confusion, that's emotional intelligence. * Know when to stop. Whether it's a treatment cycle or an argument — recognising your limit is not failure. It is self-knowledge. * Appreciate out loud. Snigdha makes it a point to tell Tushar, specifically and regularly, what she values about him. She believes men are rarely on the receiving end of that, and it matters. Resources & References * CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) — India's nodal body for adoption. If you are considering adoption, this is where the process begins. cara.nic.in * iCall, TISS — Free and low-cost mental health support, including for infertility-related grief and pregnancy loss. icallhelpline.org * The Infertility Project (Instagram: @theinfertilityproject) — Community-led conversations around infertility in India. * Fang — A Labrador Retriever and, as Snigdha puts it, the one who started it all. About the Guest Snigdha Ghosh Roy is a digital marketing and content entrepreneur based in Delhi NCR. She has built her professional life around work she genuinely loves, from home, on her own terms. She is mother to Fang (Lab, first child, non-negotiable) and two humans born sixteen months apart during the pandemic. She has been with her partner Tushar for fifteen years and will tell you, without hesitation, that finding him is the one thing she did absolutely right. Connect with Snigdha on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/snigdhacontentstrategy/]. -- Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone navigating infertility, partnership, or the beautiful mess of early parenthood. Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.