182. Why Your Cholesterol, Your Weight, and Your Brain Fog May Be Hormone Problems | Conversation with Tammy Hadfield

182. Why Your Cholesterol, Your Weight, and Your Brain Fog May Be Hormone Problems | Conversation with Tammy Hadfield

What if everything you thought you knew about menopause was either wrong, incomplete, or decades behind the science? Tammy Hadfield has been a women's health nurse practitioner for over 35 years — 25 of those as a hormone specialist. She was in the field in 2001 when the Women's Health Initiative scared an entire generation of women away from hormone therapy. Instead of backing down, she leaned in. She spent years being called one of the "crazy gals" giving hormones to women when most of the medical community said not to. The science eventually caught up. Her patients were better long before it did. This conversation covers everything you've been wondering about perimenopause and menopause — bioidentical versus synthetic hormones, why your cholesterol and your weight might have more to do with estrogen than your diet, what the hormone cascade actually looks like, and why the annual Pap smear is not the appointment to bring up your hot flashes, your mood changes, or your missing libido. But this episode also becomes something deeply personal. Tammy attended the BEST LIFE Retreat in Sun Valley in October 2025 — and what happened in the months after, including a planning meeting where she took a black Sharpie to her patient load and crossed out the number she'd been chasing, is one of the most honest things Laurie has heard in a recording studio. What we cover * Tammy's origin story: from postpartum nursing to military service in Alaska to hormone trailblazer * What happened on the Today Show in 2001 — and how a single news segment derailed decades of women's health * Why Tammy was considered "crazy" for giving hormones to women — and what the data eventually showed * Bioidentical versus synthetic hormones: what the difference actually means and why it matters for dosing and side effects * Premarin — the story behind the name, and why Tammy tells patients "I'm not a veterinarian and you're not a horse" * Why all your hormones come from cholesterol — and what that means for women who are told their cholesterol is too high * Why your body holds onto fat when estrogen is low — and why estrogen is not making you fat; excessive estrogen is * The full hormone picture: estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and DHEA — what each does and why all four matter * Why women who've had a hysterectomy are often wrongly told they don't need progesterone * The difference between progestin (synthetic) and progesterone (bioidentical) — and why they are not the same thing * ADHD in menopause: why symptoms spike when estrogen and testosterone decline * Alzheimer's, brain protection, and why 70% of new Alzheimer's cases are women * When hormone deficiencies actually start — and why Tammy says mid-30s, not menopause * Why your annual Pap smear is the wrong appointment for this conversation * Tammy's biggest pet peeve: the male testosterone formulation being prescribed to women with instructions to use "a tenth of the packet" * The four cornerstones that support hormones: nutrition, sleep, movement, and connectedness * Why Tammy closed her brick-and-mortar practice, stopped taking insurance, and launched Only Hormones * How to work with Tammy — including insurance, labs, FSA/HSA, and what the process looks like * The BEST LIFE Retreat: what shifted for Tammy, the planning meeting with the blank calendar, and why she took a Sharpie to the patient number she thought she wanted * Redefining success: from 30 patients a week to 12 — and why that's the better version * Permission to dream again — and why wanting what you want is not selfish * What Tammy loves most about being a midlife woman * What she'd tell her 20-year-old self: glimmers, breathing, and relaxing Quotable moments "I'm not a veterinarian, and you are not a horse — so we're not going to use this for your hormone replacement therapy." "All of your hormones come from cholesterol. Every single hormone." "Estrogen is not going to make you fat. Excessive estrogen will. But we need some estrogen so that our body can actually get rid of fat." "I just do hormones. I love hormones. That's all I wanna do." "Your appointment with me should be the easiest appointment you ever have." "I'm just your girlfriend on FaceTime." "We are taught as little girls not to be selfish — over and over again. And it's not selfish. It is figuring out what kind of life I want." "I took a freaking black Sharpie to that number of patients and said, 'Screw it. I'm gonna see 12.'" "It's a redefinition of what I think success is. That's probably the bottom line." "I don't have to accept a smaller version of what I want my life to look like." "I would just tell myself: take a moment for yourself and breathe, girl. Just breathe." Resources + links mentioned * The Menopausal Brain [https://on.ltk.com/+uvVAyr-2qYDnfaKUhh541g] by Lisa Mosconi * Only Hormones [https://onlyhormones.com/] — Tammy Hadfield's practice * Apply for the BEST LIFE Mastermind [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com] * Book a 15-minute call with Laurie [https://calendly.com/laurie-reynoldson/best-life-mastermind-inquiry] Connect with Tammy Hadfield Website [https://onlyhormones.com/] Email [ hello@onlyhormones.com] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/onlyhormones/] 📩 JOIN MY MAILING LIST [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/the-weekly-best-life-list-sign-u] https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter] 👉 CONNECT WITH LAURIE: 📩  Email Laurie [ laurie@schoolofmidlife.com] 💻 Website [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com] On Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/schoolofmidlife/] On LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurie-reynoldson-b28b921a/] Work with Laurie [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/enroll]

181. You Keep Saying "Someday." Here's What That's Actually Costing You

What if the real midlife crisis isn't running out of time — it's living like you have more time than you actually do? In this episode, Laurie gets personal. She shares the story of her dad, who spent decades saying "someday when I retire" — only to die five months after his retirement at 66, having collected exactly five social security checks after a 46-year career. That story cracked everything open for her. And it's the reason so much of the work at the School of Midlife is built around one urgent question: what are you waiting for? This episode isn't about panic. It's about clarity. It's a compassionate but honest look at the habit most high-achieving women share — perpetually deferring the life they actually want — and a practical reframe for how to start living it now, not someday. Laurie also introduces one of her favorite coaching tools, the Best Life Top 100, and explains why it is fundamentally different from a bucket list — and why that distinction matters more than it might seem. What we cover * Why Laurie doesn't believe in the "midlife crisis" — and what she believes is actually happening instead * The story of her dad: 46 years of work, five months of retirement, and the lesson that changed how she looks at everything * The "someday when I retire" trap — and why there is always one more reason to wait * Why the conditions will never be perfect — and what happens to women who keep waiting for them to be * The south of France thought experiment: what happens when you finally get to retirement and the life you imagined doesn't feel like yours * The women who thrive in midlife versus the women who keep living the same year on repeat * The BEST LIFE Top 100: what it is, what it isn't, and why it's not a bucket list * The difference between a list built around doing things before you die — and a list built around how you want to live while you are alive * Why the Top 100 women actually end up with looks almost nothing like the list they thought they'd write — and why that's exactly the point * The quiet dreams versus the big bold ones — and why they belong on the same list * The question that cracks everything open: of the things on your Top 100, how many actually require you to wait? * Why the direction matters more than the destination right now * The challenge: write down one thing this week — and DM Laurie to tell her what it is Quotable moments "The real crisis in midlife isn't buying a sports car or having an affair. It's believing that you have more time than you actually do." "Dad had so many plans for retirement. Someday never came." "He worked 46 years of his life and was rewarded with five months of retirement." "There is always another reason to wait. There is always another something that comes up. Which means you keep deferring your dreams." "Life always has a way of life-ing." "The Top 100 is not about doing things before you die. It's about how you want to live while you are alive." "It's dreaming with intention. It's your living blueprint. It's your permission slip to stop waiting." "The list they end up with looks almost nothing like the list they thought they'd write." "Stop treating your best life like it's something that exists somewhere in the future, waiting for you to earn it or arrive at it or be ready for it." "The women who are the most fulfilled in midlife aren't the ones who have the most things on their list completed. They're the ones who started." "The real midlife crisis isn't running out of time. It's living like you have more time than you actually do." The challenge from this episode Pick one thing you would put on your BEST LIFE Top 100 list. Something that would make you feel more alive, more aligned, more you. Write it down. Then, DM Laurie on Instagram and tell her what it is. Resources + links mentioned * The BEST LIFE Mastermind [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com] * Book a 15-minute call with Laurie [https://calendly.com/laurie-reynoldson/best-life-mastermind-inquiry] * Instagram: @laurie.reynoldson [https://www.instagram.com/laurie.reynoldson/] (DM Laurie your Top 100 item) If this episode landed for you, share it with the woman in your life who needs to hear it. Subscribe, leave a five-star review, and know that Laurie reads every single one. 📩 JOIN MY MAILING LIST [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/the-weekly-best-life-list-sign-u] https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter] 👉 CONNECT WITH LAURIE: 📩  Email Laurie [ laurie@schoolofmidlife.com] 💻 Website [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com] On Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/schoolofmidlife/] On LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurie-reynoldson-b28b921a/] Work with Laurie [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/enroll]

180. Dream Job, Perfect Life...and Still Feeling Like Something Was Missing. Here's What She Did About It | Conversation with Hillary Dater

Hillary Dater came to a BEST LIFE Retreat a few years ago -- not because she was in crisis, but because her work brought her there. She had what looked like everything: a dream job in the nonprofit sector, family, community, a life that rang all the bells. And still, something wasn't quite right. She just hadn't stopped long enough to notice. What followed the retreat was a series of genuinely bold moves: a move to the mountains, leaving a career she'd spent decades building to pursue something that actually lit her up, a fly fishing trip to Argentina with her son -- her first international travel in thirty years -- and a year spent intentionally, deliberately, scheduling fun back into her life. In this conversation, Hillary and Laurie talk about what it actually looks like to stop living on the sidelines of your own life...even when the life you're living is already pretty good. They talk about joy as something that has to be practiced, not assumed. About asking for help as a skill. About the moment Hillary's father, in hospice, looked at her and said: "I've got all the time. I've got the money to do anything I want. And I don't have my health. Don't make that mistake." This episode is proof that you don't have to be in crisis to deserve change. You just have to decide the life on the other side of the investment is worth more than the comfort of staying put. What we cover * How Hillary came to the BEST LIFE Retreat for work -- not because anything was wrong in her life -- and what happened after she left * The light fixture epiphany: the moment she realized she couldn't answer the question "what do you like?" and what that revealed about how far she'd drifted from herself * Why being in a room of women you barely know can be more liberating than being with your closest friends * The "scared-cited" feeling: what happens when you share a bold idea with the wrong people first...and what happens when you share it with the right ones * How Hillary's dad's final words from hospice changed everything: "I've got all the time and the money, and I don't have my health. Don't make that mistake." * The Hardy reel, the screaming line, the fish she stopped counting, and the moment she realized she hadn't known what fun felt like in decades * Moving to the mountains: the guilt, the fear, the grief...and what she found on the other side (her daughter making her breakfast in pajamas) * Argentina: fly fishing with her son, thirty years without international travel, and what happens when you know the what and trust the universe with the how * The year she color-coded her calendar to schedule fun — and how 2026 became the year fun stopped being scheduled and started being just who she is * Asking for help as a skill: how fly fishing taught her to say "I don't know this, but I want to"...and trust that willing teachers would show up * The belief she'd been carrying that she was difficult and unpleasant to be around — and what the retreat helped her see instead * What it means to leave a legacy while you're still here — and why watching mom live her best life is one of the greatest gifts she can give her children * The long arm quilting machine, the 55th birthday sand dunes, the riding lawnmower coveralls...and what it means to finally say yes to yourself Quotable moments "I'm in a great place. I was in a great place, but I'm in an even better place now — and I feel more authentically myself than I ever have in my entire life." "When you're all there for the same purpose, even if everyone's path is different — it just becomes a game changer." "When you've got a dream and you're aligned with it and you're leaning into it, the path opens up for you." "I just had to get really comfortable with being bad, asking a lot of questions, asking for help...none of those things are like me." "I've got all the time. I've got the money to do anything I want. And I don't have my health. Don't make that mistake." — Hillary's father, from hospice "This is fun. This is what fun feels like." — the moment on the river that changed everything "The idea of not taking the risk and always wondering, if I had just let my life pass me by, if I had just remained sitting on the sidelines...that was way more scary than the idea of doing it." "Don't let life put you back on your heels. Lean into it." — Hillary's grandfather "Get in the game. It's never too late to make a change. It's never too late to be your authentic self." "Every time that I've leaned into something, even if it felt a little scary or overly indulgent, the reward and the return on that investment has just paid off in spades." "Every time I see you, I'm living my best life — and I have you to thank for it." Resources + links mentioned * Die With Zero by Bill Perkins [https://www.amazon.com/Die-Zero-Getting-Your-Money/dp/0358567092/ref=sr_1_1?crid=28S530O5B5X97&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.HUNGjW6LkGMLKjGS3Fgr56jHfzJDnJRiZFWSXcidqYBjnmjPJI4SqCZFch722X-Xe5ZrvoszTy40KZmCbV50w6uM_JvCODuizpoEfoZaZwqu5bqaJS1fHRmPVBpWr86Tr7EpTSGYyp8YAhQMgqPTKEIgIaZ1TDgLHqLSPy66mxKzx4wlVuCr_wEvjTYK4vupJmkZMUk2jgiFien_xvJ82Vg9FtpmFBa4lupkZOOypkI.ER9j4EXPFSwrMfpPnNqHhkN5JcMKMw_kEd_Jm_vGSEI&dib_tag=se&keywords=Die+with+zero&qid=1782494328&sprefix=die+with+zero%2Caps%2C204&sr=8-1] — referenced in conversation * The BEST LIFE Retreat [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com]  * Book a 15-minute call with Laurie [https://calendly.com/laurie-reynoldson/best-life-mastermind-inquiry] If this episode moved you, share it with the woman in your life who has a pretty good life — and deserves to know it can be even better. Subscribe, leave a five-star review, and know that Laurie reads every single one. 📩 JOIN MY MAILING LIST [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/the-weekly-best-life-list-sign-u] https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter] 👉 CONNECT WITH LAURIE: 📩  Email Laurie [ laurie@schoolofmidlife.com] 💻 Website [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com] On Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/schoolofmidlife/] On LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurie-reynoldson-b28b921a/] Work with Laurie [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/enroll]

179. There Are Only 15 Summer Weekends. Are You Wasting Them...or Ruining Them Trying Not To?

15 weekends of summer. How are you spending them? Laurie counted them. There are 15 summer weekends this year — and the moment she did that, something shifted. Not because it changed anything. Because finite time does something very particular to high-achieving women: it turns enjoyment into management. This episode started as a thought on a walk and became something much bigger: an honest look at busyness as a drug, the habit of earning rest before allowing it, and why the discomfort of doing nothing might be the most useful information you get all summer. Laurie shares what she's been working through in real time: the Sunday she spent doing absolutely nothing while Mike was out of town, the guilt that followed, and the moment a quote from a keynote at Craft + Commerce hit her in the chest and put language to something she'd been feeling her whole life. Practical, honest, and a little uncomfortable in the best way. This one is for any woman who has ever felt like she needed to earn the weekend before she was allowed to enjoy it. What we cover * Why counting the summer weekends changes the way you experience them...and not always for the better * Parkinson's Law: why finite time makes us cram instead of savor, and what that costs us * The two problems with finite time: cramming it full, or feeling guilty for not cramming it full * The pattern Laurie has been running her whole life — Saturdays off, Sundays working — and why she never questioned it until now * The Sunday she did absolutely nothing, felt guilty about it, and what that revealed * Jay Papasan's keynote at Craft + Commerce and the quote that stopped her cold: "If busyness is your drug, rest will feel like stress." — Ian Simpkins * Why busyness works like a drug, and what the cost of that addiction actually is * Busyness as a hiding place: why staying in motion postpones the questions, the decisions, and the version of yourself that has things to deal with * The empty calendar question: if every obligation disappeared tomorrow, what would bubble up for you in the quiet? * Three things Laurie has been doing this summer — imperfectly — to practice actual rest * Why rest is a skill, not a reward * The question underneath all of it: who am I when I'm not busy? The three practices 1. Name it when the pattern shows up. Not out loud, not dramatically. Just notice: I'm reaching for my laptop because I feel like I should have something to show for this afternoon. That's it. See it. 2. Give the guilt somewhere to land. The guilt isn't about the rest. It's about the belief underneath: I'm only as valuable as what I produce. When the guilt arrives, get curious. Ask it: what are you trying to protect me from? What do you think will happen if I just sit here? 3. Start smaller than you think you need to. Not the whole weekend. Twenty minutes. No phone, no task, no optimization. Just twenty minutes with no agenda. Then notice: how long after those twenty minutes does it take before you reach for something to do? Quotable moments "The moment something becomes finite, you stop enjoying it and start managing it." "At some point the weekend becomes a production — and the question becomes, is this still a weekend, or is it just a different kind of work?" "If busyness is your drug, rest will feel like stress." — Ian Simpkins, shared by Jay Papasan at Craft + Commerce "The rest was always conditional. The play was always something I had to earn first." "The discomfort of being unproductive feels worse to me than the exhaustion of being overworked." "Busyness isn't just a habit. It can be a hiding place." "The busyness feels productive. But what it's actually producing is distance...from the questions, from the stillness, from the version of yourself that knows things you're not ready to deal with." "The rest isn't indulgent. It's information." "Rest is a skill. The first few times you try it, it's probably going to feel awful." "Who am I when I'm not busy? That's one of the most important questions a woman in midlife can ask herself." Resources + links mentioned * Last week's episode: Shoot Your Shot — Even When You'd Rather Look Away [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2147326/episodes/19352471] * Apply for the BEST LIFE Mastermind [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com] * Book a 15-minute call [https://calendly.com/laurie-reynoldson/best-life-mastermind-inquiry] with Laurie If this episode resonated, share it with the woman in your life who needs to hear it. And if you haven't already — subscribe, leave a five-star review, and know that Laurie reads every single one. 📩 JOIN MY MAILING LIST [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/the-weekly-best-life-list-sign-u] https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter] 👉 CONNECT WITH LAURIE: 📩  Email Laurie [ laurie@schoolofmidlife.com] 💻 Website [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com] On Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/schoolofmidlife/] On LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurie-reynoldson-b28b921a/] Work with Laurie [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/enroll]

178. The Worst Thing a Leader Can Do, According to a Coach Who's Worked With 1,000 of Them | Conversation with Allison Dunn

Guest: Allison Dunn, Executive Business Coach, Founder of Deliberate Directions, Host of the Deliberate Leaders Podcast, Author of Think First: Stop Being the Bottleneck. Start Building Thinkers. Episode summary Allison Dunn has spent thirty years coaching entrepreneurs and executives — over a thousand of them — and has just written her first book. But this conversation is about so much more than a business framework. Allison's premise: the most capable, most driven leaders eventually become the very bottleneck holding their organizations back. Not because they're failing — because they're succeeding in exactly the way that made them successful in the first place. They keep having the answers. And in doing so, they unintentionally teach everyone around them to stop thinking. Laurie and Allison dig into the five strategic thinking methods in Think First — and why the book reads less like a typical business book and more like a practical manual you'll actually use. But the conversation goes much deeper than the framework. Allison opens up about writing the book in the wake of losing her husband Mark and, shortly after, her mother — and what that loss taught her about legacy, about outgrowing an old version of herself, and about finally clarifying what actually matters now. This one is for anyone leading a team, a family, a household, or just their own life — and tired of being the only one solving every problem. What we cover in this episode * Allison's origin story: getting into a New England prep school at 16, being told no by her parents, and the single question her future father-in-law asked that changed the trajectory of her life * The unlikely, full-circle story of how Allison ended up relaunching Deliberate Directions, the same company originally founded by her late husband's father * Why Allison wrote Think First now, and the personal loss that made the timing undeniable * The core premise: why becoming "the answer person" is the most common — and most dangerous — habit of successful leaders * Method One: Clarify What Matters — why most of us are achieving goals without ever stepping back to ask if they're still the right goals * The difference between addition and multiplication, and why most leaders (and most of us, in life) keep adding instead of finding leverage * The Post-it note on Allison's computer: "Is this urgent or is this important?"  and how that single question changes daily decision-making * Why having all the answers is, in Allison's words, "the worst thing you could possibly have" as a leader * A generational shift in how leaders approach balance, autonomy, and contribution ...and what Gen X is learning from the generation coming up behind them * The identity piece: why letting go of "I have to have all the answers" is so difficult, and what it actually requires * Allison's reflection on outgrowing the version of herself who had a five-year plan with Mark, and what it looks like to rebuild clarity after profound loss * What Mark would say about Think First being out in the world Quotable moments "Could you give it the possibility that you could earn the tuition without your parents?" — the question that changed Allison's life at 16 "Having all the answers is the worst thing you could possibly have" as a leader. "Is this adding or is this multiplying?" "I've outgrown the old version of myself." "Too many people hold onto the version of themselves that someone else expected them to be... as things change, letting those old versions go and getting back on track to clarify what matters." "It's not my job" — on no longer carrying the weight of what other people think. "It's about the journey. And when you have the time, take it." Resources + links mentioned → Think First: Stop Being the Bottleneck. Start Building Thinkers [https://deliberatedirections.com/think-first-allison-dunn/] by Allison Dunn → Deliberate Directions [https://deliberatedirections.com/] → The Deliberate Leaders Podcast — hosted by Allison Dunn, listen on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/deliberate-leaders-podcast-with-allison-dunn/id1500464675] or Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1fm58tUgAVtryPLoUPNeLC] → Connect with Allison on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/allisondunn/] and on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/deliberatedirections/] Connect with the School of Midlife → Apply for the BEST LIFE Mastermind [https://www.schooliofmidlife.com/] → Book a 15-minute call with Laurie [https://calendly.com/laurie-reynoldson/best-life-mastermind-inquiry] If this episode resonated, the most meaningful thing you can do is share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you haven't already, please subscribe, leave a five-star review, and know that Laurie reads every single one. 📩 JOIN MY MAILING LIST [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/the-weekly-best-life-list-sign-u] https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter] 👉 CONNECT WITH LAURIE: 📩  Email Laurie [ laurie@schoolofmidlife.com] 💻 Website [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com] On Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/schoolofmidlife/] On LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurie-reynoldson-b28b921a/] Work with Laurie [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/enroll]