The Chinese Restaurant

Chess Boys

This week, the boys are blessed with the presence of Aaron, Wesley's black brother. We were fortunate that he did not say any slurs, although we gave him complete authority to do so. For anyone who doesn't believe he's black, we will provide you pictures. Email us at wewon't@sendthem.fuckoff. We discuss the elusive "en passant" chess move, where you seduce the queen with a pawn, and pretend to "piss-on" her. I have no idea if passant is pronounced correctly. Don't correct me. Also, happy 4th of July. We love you, Donald J Trump and America. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

Proud Boys (But not the racist kind)

You may have noticed that the title of this weeks episode strongly implies we're part of the Proud Boys. While we are definitely proud, and less confidently boys, we're definitely not part of the proud boys. In this weeks episode, we address concerns that we are part of MS-13. We are not, regardless of how many tattoos we have that say otherwise. What does MS-13 even mean? I don't remember anything that we actually talked about. I have chronic short span attention issues. Happy pride month and Juneteenth. I'm gay.

Swedish Boys

Hejsan, listeners! This week, we have an in depth look at the popular culture and lifestyles of our Swedish listeners. Did you know that ABBA is Swedish? Did you know ABBA is the band name and not the woman? If you did, you better not fuckin' make fun of me. Also, Happy Father's Day and Happy Pride Month! We're proud of all our gay dad listeners. Unfortunately, it's also No Kings Day, which means you'll all queens. Which is also fine because it's Pride Month. We should really create a flow chart to help understand how this works. Also, don't make your date pay for your nails. Stop it.

The Chinese Restaurant

This week, Steve Raven joins the podcast to help Americans solve a pandemic sweeping the nation: what shorts are socially acceptable? Listen carefully to his sage wisdom, as getting him to leave his mother's basement is virtually impossible. Also, he asked me to tell you he does not have a small penis. Many of you may be asking, "Where is Andrew?" He's making his annual Shavuot pilgrimage to Israel. You may now be asking, "Isn't that dangerous considering the climate of the atmosphere in Israel?" No, they're winning dumbass. There's only one a week now going forward, it's called a SCHEDULE. Lo siento esposa de Wesley.

The Baby Shower

Listen, Criss Angel was a conartist. He didn't do real magic. In this episode, we bust it WIDE open, and by it, we mean his ass. Also, we recorded almost 50 minutes of us singing City Escape from Sonic Adventure 2. Also, Dr Pez from YouTube gave us permission to record all 40 minutes of his Ocarina of Time prog album. I bet you're thinking "how could there be this much music in an hour episode?" Simple, we stopped trying to converse and all played different audio at once. Also, I can't stop playing footsies and handsies with my friends. I might be gay.