Stretch for Growth

I grew up avoiding conflict at all costs. At a late stage of my life, however, I had to learn, not just how to manage conflict, but how to lead it in a relationship and enjoy the process. Conflict in business usually leads to a breakdown in relationships. Repeated unresolved conflict and misunderstanding negatively impacts morale and effective teamwork. Avoiding or managing conflict leads us nowhere. Only when we start leading conflict and enjoying the journey somewhat, will we start growing constructively.

One of the most impactful African words that I have ever come across is the North Sotho word “seriti”, which refers to a person’s “presence” or the shadow that is cast by the character and personality of the person. People, with shadows that are influential, are people who take responsibility, don’t blame, are positive and make choices based on principles. Leaders behave themselves into their respective shadows. Good rhetoric, on its own, doesn’t develop a shadow – real influence is developed through consistency of character, integrity, vision, proactivity, servanthood and selflessness. Leaders with significant shadows are influential and leave a legacy.

People tend to pass the buck, make excuses or transfer blame of things not done to others. It’s not their responsibility because they haven’t taken responsibility! Proactive people take responsibility, even over situations they didn’t directly cause. They may not necessarily be able to control all parts of the problem nor all ingredients to the solution, but they take control over the percentage of the issue that is in their hands and attempt to influence the outcome within the rest. Saying “it’s not my responsibility” could be seen as irresponsible!