That's Where I'm At

EP 70: Unmasking the "Man of God": Gabrielle Burton on Spiritual Abuse, Narcissism, and Identity Restoration

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura sits down with Gabrielle Burton, a Christian Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in the intersection of faith and clinical mental health. Gabrielle's expertise isn't just professional—it's deeply personal. Growing up as the "Golden Child" of a narcissistic pastor, she lived the confusing reality of reconciling a charismatic public persona with the severe emotional abuse that happened behind closed doors. Gabrielle shares her journey of "performing for love" and how her upbringing in a high-control religious environment shaped her calling to help others heal from spiritual abuse and "church hurt." Together, she and Laura pull back the curtain on how narcissists hide in plain sight within church systems, the psychological toll of "playing dead" to survive, and the path to reclaiming an identity that isn't tied to performance. Meet the Guest: Gabrielle Burton Gabrielle Burton is a Christian Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, content creator, and podcast host passionate about helping people heal from trauma, overcome abuse, and walk fully in their God-given calling. With over 10 years of experience, she specializes in narcissistic and spiritual abuse, church hurt, and identity restoration—bridging biblical truth with clinical mental health care. Gabrielle earned her Bachelor's degree in Communications from Bethel University and has an extensive clinical background spanning foster care, hospital intensive outpatient programs, and trauma-focused therapeutic retreats. She is the author of "The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Gold Digger: Discovering the Hidden Treasures Within" and hosts the YouTube podcast "Hosting Heaven." A former member of the Grammy Award–winning ensemble "Sounds of Blackness," Gabrielle continues to use her background in singing and creative storytelling as a tool for healing and impact. Key Topics & Timestamps The "Golden Child" Experience (00:03:15): Gabrielle describes the moving target of her father's approval and being treated as an extension of his ego. Public Persona vs. Private Reality (00:05:40): The difficulty of reconciling a father who is a "great storyteller" and pastor with the man who inflicted severe mental and emotional abuse at home. Performing for Love (00:08:22): How being a "parentified child" taught Gabrielle that her value was tied to her gifts and "putting on a happy face." The God Complex (00:15:30): Gabrielle recalls the "Made in My Father's Image" portrait—a chilling example of a narcissist's god complex and lack of boundaries. Narcissism in Church Systems (00:19:45): A deep dive into how high-control religious environments prime women for abuse through rules on submission and silence. Peacemakers vs. Peacekeepers (00:24:10): Gabrielle clarifies the difference: Peacekeepers stay silent to survive, while Peacemakers (like Jesus) confront toxicity to bring truth. The "Narc Fog" and Social Rejection (00:29:55): Discussion on the anterior cingulate—how our brains register social rejection from a community as a physical threat to survival. The Madonna-Whore Complex (00:32:40): Gabrielle explains this psychological splitting and how narcissists use it to manipulate and devalue their partners. Authenticity as "Narcissist Repellent" (00:36:15): Why finding your own voice and setting boundaries is the quickest way to end a narcissistic cycle. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Gabrielle: "Narcissism is being more worried about what people think about you than what God thinks about you." Gabrielle: "You play dead in order to survive... you stop questioning things because it's almost more crazy-making to try to have a different reality than just to go with the flow." Laura: "I remember those lectures... like, do I need to be here for this? Can you just record yourself? It's ridiculous." Gabrielle: "Rules without revelation equals resentment, which looks like rebellion." RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 [https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517] FOLLOW Gabrielle: * WEBSITE: https://linktr.ee/gabrielleburtontherapy [https://linktr.ee/gabrielleburtontherapy] * INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/gabriellemburtontherapy [https://www.instagram.com/gabriellemburtontherapy] * FACEBOOK: https://www.youtube.com/@gabriellemburton [https://www.youtube.com/@gabriellemburton] "Healing begins the moment you stop performing for a system and start showing up for yourself." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

EP 69: From Pain to Purpose: Alana Sharps on Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Supporting Others

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura sits down with Alana Sharps, founder of SurThrive Tribe, a High Conflict Divorce and Child Custody Consultant, and Best Selling Author. Alana's work is deeply rooted in both professional expertise and lived experience. After navigating a toxic marriage marked by psychological abuse, she transformed her own pain into purpose—emerging as an empowered survivor and a dedicated advocate for others facing similar challenges. Alana shares her personal journey through a psychologically abusive marriage with a covert narcissist, the realities of high-conflict divorce and child custody battles, and the ongoing impact of post-separation abuse. Together, she and Laura discuss the importance of trauma-informed therapy, rebuilding self-worth, and the role of community support in healing. Inspired by her own experiences, Alana explains how she now helps others navigate the complex and often overwhelming landscape of high-conflict divorce. This episode offers hope, practical guidance, and valuable resources for anyone facing similar circumstances. Key Topics & Timestamps Alana's Timeline: Leaving and Helping Others (00:02:22) Alana shares when she left her marriage (2018) and began helping others (2021). Realizing the Abuse and Awakening (00:02:59) Discussion about recognizing narcissistic abuse and the awakening process after leaving. Therapy and Dismissing Early Warnings (00:04:08) Alana recalls dismissing her therapist's warning about narcissism during her marriage. Love Bombing and Early Relationship Red Flags (00:07:47) Alana describes meeting her ex, early boundary-pushing, and the love bombing phase. Rapid Relationship Progression (00:10:35) The relationship moved quickly: moving in, engagement, and marriage within a year. Cycle of Abuse and Trying to Fix Things (00:14:22) Alana discusses the cycle of trying to regain the "good times" and the reality of abuse. Parenting and Control Over Children (00:18:09) Alana describes her ex's controlling behavior with their children, especially her daughter. Leaving After Witnessing Abuse (00:21:27) Alana decided to leave after witnessing her ex assault her son, prioritizing her children's safety. Supporting Others: Safety Planning (00:22:30) Alana explains how she supports clients, especially around safety planning when leaving abuse. Predictable Abuser Tactics in Court (00:25:36) Alana describes common legal tactics used by abusers, including false accusations and parental alienation. Therapy Challenges with Narcissists (00:27:29) The difficulties and ineffectiveness of couples counseling with narcissists are discussed. Financial Abuse and Hiding Assets (00:32:23) Discussion about financial manipulation and hiding assets during divorce. Becoming a High Conflict Divorce Coach (00:33:58) Alana's journey to becoming a certified high conflict divorce and child custody coach. EMDR and Healing from Trauma (00:37:34) Alana shares her experience with EMDR therapy for complex PTSD and managing triggers. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Alana, 'I wanted to be the person I needed when I was going through my divorce and child custody cases, because it's the worst feeling in the world to be scared you'll lose custody of your children.' Alana, 'In public, he was the perfect father and spouse, but behind closed doors, our family was tormented.' Alana, 'On our wedding night, he flipped out on me and continued to treat me badly on our honeymoon, and I was so confused.' Alana, 'When I saw him assault my oldest son, the light bulb went off and I knew the kids were not safe and I needed to leave.' Alana, 'When you share children, that's the last piece of control an abuser has over you, because now they can use the legal system to control you.' RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 [https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517] FOLLOW ALANA: * Your website link: https://www.surthrivetribe.com/ [https://www.surthrivetribe.com/] * Instagram Link: https://www.instagram.com/alanasharps/ [https://www.instagram.com/alanasharps/] * Freebie: https://kvisit.com/T89MH [https://kvisit.com/T89MH] * Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alanasharps [https://www.tiktok.com/@alanasharps] * Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/alanasharpsauthor [https://www.facebook.com/alanasharpsauthor] * Was It My Fault Book: https://a.co/d/4f7jZ1f [https://a.co/d/4f7jZ1f] From the episode: Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is a condition resulting from prolonged, repeated trauma (like ongoing abuse or captivity) that includes standard PTSD symptoms (flashbacks, avoidance) plus core difficulties in emotional regulation, self-perception (worthlessness, shame), and relationships (mistrust, isolation). It's often linked to childhood trauma, but can affect adults, differing from PTSD by its chronic cause and added disturbances in identity and connection with others. EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a psychotherapy that helps people heal from trauma and distressing life events by reprocessing painful memories using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements, taps, or sounds) while focusing on the memory, reducing its emotional impact and helping the brain process it more adaptively. Developed by Francine Shapiro, it's recognized by organizations like the WHO and APA as an effective treatment for PTSD, anxiety, and other conditions stemming from unprocessed past experiences. "Awareness is the first step from surviving abuse to reclaiming your power." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

EP 68: Permission Granted: How to Prioritize Pleasure and Presence in Your Everyday Life with Amy Jones

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura sits down with Amy Jones — a Reflector Mentor, Sacred Strategist, and award-winning Publisher who generated over $1M in new client revenue in her first year of business while working part-time as a single mom of three. As a rare Reflector (just 1% of the population), Amy blends intuitive clarity with grounded, strategic leadership to help women build sustainable, soul-led businesses rooted in rhythm, purpose, and inner truth. Before founding LIVE WITH INTENT Media Group, Amy spent more than two decades in corporate sales and leadership across IBM, TELUS, and a high-growth digital media start-up, contributing to its expansion from 7 to 300 employees in under two years. Today, she leads a growing ecosystem that includes Okanagan Lake Living Magazine, the Leadership in Rhythm Series, and the Futures Foundation—a circular wealth model directing revenue back into women-led families, emerging founders, and community impact projects. In their conversation, Amy shares her journey from corporate burnout to becoming an intuitive life and business mentor. She and Laura explore what it means to break free from societal pressures, prioritize self-care, and allow yourself permission to experience pleasure, rest, and presence. Amy offers practical insights for nurturing well-being, celebrating small wins, and leading yourself with intention. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of healing, balance, and self-leadership for women seeking more joy and authenticity in their everyday lives. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction: Amy's Background (00:01:33) Laura introduces Amy, her business, and her approach to pleasure and business mastery. Laughter and Joy as Medicine (00:02:00) Amy and Laura discuss the importance of laughter, joy, and laughter yoga for well-being. Amy's Path to Healing and Energy Work (00:06:38) Amy describes her journey from codependency and therapy to discovering energy healing and chakras. Helping Women Find Self-Leadership (00:09:47) Amy explains her mission to help women untangle unhealthy patterns and embrace self-leadership. The Instinct for "More" and Midlife Reflection (00:11:33) Discussion about the instinctive longing for more and how it often surfaces at midlife. Rest as a Skill and Societal Pressures (00:13:35) Amy discusses the importance of rest, her husband's experience, and society's struggle with slowing down. Amy's Coaching Approach: Self-Leadership (00:15:36) Amy explains her coaching style, focusing on self-leadership rather than mothering or spoon-feeding. Celebrating Small Wins and Incremental Progress (00:16:54) Amy uses the analogy of learning to ride a bike to illustrate the value of small, celebrated steps. Redefining Success and Life Templates (00:23:18) Amy and Laura question societal templates for success in work and relationships. Recognizing When Life Feels Wrong (00:24:04) Amy shares her realization that her "perfect" life felt unfulfilling and unsafe, prompting change. Permission for Pleasure: Amy's Speaker Series (00:27:45) Amy introduces her "Permission for Pleasure" concept and speaker series, focusing on allowing oneself to receive pleasure. Creating Space for Pleasure and Feminine Embodiment (00:32:24) Amy discusses feminine embodiment, creating space for pleasure, and how small changes can influence family dynamics. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Amy, 'My number one purpose in life is to enjoy life, not to work myself to exhaustion until I'm 65 and then take a vacation.' Amy, 'Resting is a skill that is highly underrated.' Amy, 'When you learn how to slow down and be in the moment and rest, you actually genuinely receive.' Amy, 'I help women slow down so they can really enjoy the depth and richness of everything around them.' Amy, 'Wherever you are, whatever you're going through, you have a mission, a message, and a purpose. You are so, so important.' RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 [https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517] Connect with Amy * Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/livewithintentwww.facebook.com/groups/livewithintent [http://www.facebook.com/groups/livewithintent] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyaajones/www.instagram.com/amyaajones/ [http://www.instagram.com/amyaajones/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@amyaajoneswww.youtube.com/@amyaajones [http://www.youtube.com/@amyaajones] * Website: www.livewithintent.ca [http://www.livewithintent.ca/] * Current Offer: https://www.livewithintent.ca/founders_circlewww.livewithintent.ca/founders_circle [http://www.livewithintent.ca/founders_circle] * Additional Link: Okanagan Lake Living Magazine www.bestversionmedia.com/bc/okanaganlakeliving/ [https://www.bestversionmedia.com/bc/okanaganlakeliving/] "True leadership begins when you give yourself permission to slow down, receive, and enjoy your own life." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

EP 67: How Lynda's Fear-Busting Challenge Changed Everything In Her Life

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura interviews Lynda Sunshine West, who shares her journey from a traumatic childhood to personal transformation. Lynda recounts running away from home at age five, overcoming years of fear and low self-worth, and breaking through one fear every day for a year. Her story highlights healing from past trauma, building healthy relationships, and finding purpose as a bestselling author and book publisher. The conversation offers hope and practical tools for women seeking to overcome fear, embrace self-acceptance, and create a fulfilling, authentic life. Key Topics & Timestamps Origin of the Name "Sunshine" (00:03:16) Lynda explains how she adopted the name "Sunshine" during her year of breaking through fears. Running Away at Age Five (00:04:31) Lynda recounts running away from home at age five and the emotional impact it had on her life. Childhood Family Dynamics & Self-Worth (00:06:53) Discussion of Lynda's family environment, feelings of neglect, and how these shaped her self-worth. Personal Growth & Marital Challenges (00:15:39) Lynda shares how personal growth affected her marriage and her husband's reaction to her transformation. Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse (00:18:59) Laura discusses gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, and her book on reclaiming self-worth. Catalyst for Change at Age 51 (00:28:18) Lynda describes the breaking point in her career and the decision to hire a life coach. The Power of Choice & Self-Discovery (00:33:22) Discussion on human choice, self-discovery, and the importance of making life changes at any age. Marriage, Support, and Tough Love (00:34:36) Lynda shares a story about her husband's tough love regarding her health and the lessons learned. Breaking Through Fear: The 365-Day Challenge (00:40:32) Lynda details her year-long challenge to break through one fear every day and its impact. The Fear of Judgment & People-Pleasing (00:43:32) Lynda identifies fear of judgment as the root of many of her fears and how she overcame it. Seven Simple Steps to Break Through Fear (00:45:55) Lynda introduces her seven-step method for overcoming fear and explains its logic. Becoming a Book Publisher (00:50:19) Lynda shares how her journey led her to become a book publisher and help others share their stories. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Lynda, 'At five years old, gone a week, nobody came to get me. That belief was established: they didn't come because they didn't love me or want me around.' Lynda, 'I believed I was stupid because he told me this every single day. I believed I was ignorant. I believed nobody liked me and that people were only nice to me because they felt sorry for me.' Lynda, 'I hate my life. I hate everything I'm doing. I hate this job. Why am I doing this? Why am I here on this planet? What's my purpose?' Lynda, 'I didn't know I was in the dark until I was in the light. I was in the dark for 51 years.' Lynda, 'I have so many fears that are stopping me from living my life. I'm going to break through one fear every day this year.' RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 [https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517] Connect with Lynda * Facebook: https://facebook.com/lyndasunshinewest [https://facebook.com/lyndasunshinewest] * Instagram: https://instagram.com/lyndasunshinewest [https://instagram.com/lyndasunshinewest] * TikTok: https://tiktok.com/lyndasunshinewest [https://tiktok.com/lyndasunshinewest] * YouTube: https://youtube.com/@actiontakerspublishing [https://youtube.com/@actiontakerspublishing] * Website: https://actiontakerspublishing.com [https://actiontakerspublishing.com/] * Download a free copy of Lynda's book, Do It BECAUSE You're Scared, at https://actiontakerspublishing.com/doit [https://actiontakerspublishing.com/doit], and break through the fears that are holding you back. "Courage isn't the absence of fear — it's choosing to move anyway." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

EP 66: Consciously Awake: Lisa's Journey Out of Toxic Love

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura interviews Lisa Hawkins — a Dating & Relationship Coach who empowers men and women to thrive in their relationships. With over 30 years of experience, Lisa has dedicated her life to understanding the intricacies of human connection and what truly makes relationships flourish. Her personal journey, marked by challenges, growth, and deep spiritual awareness, has given her a profound understanding of the obstacles individuals face in their search for love, healing, and self-discovery. Lisa shares her story of overcoming generational trauma, abuse, and the difficult process of recovering after an abusive marriage. The conversation explores the struggle of recognizing and trusting your instincts, the impact of societal conditioning, and the non-linear nature of healing. Lisa also offers practical guidance on self-awareness, journaling, and cultivating self-love. Together, she and Laura highlight the importance of compassion, patience, and honoring your unique path. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their own journeys and seek support as they reclaim their lives. Key Topics & Timestamps Lisa's Background and Unconscious Family Conditioning (00:02:33) Lisa shares her upbringing in a toxic, unconscious family and how it led to abusive relationships. Experiences of Oppression and Lack of Boundaries (00:03:42) Lisa describes being raised to be agreeable, lacking boundaries, and early experiences of abuse. Immediate Regret After Marriage (00:06:52) Lisa recalls knowing she made a mistake hours after marrying, but feeling trapped by religion. Life in an Abusive Marriage (00:07:32) Lisa details her ten-year marriage, cycles of leaving and returning, and escalation of abuse. Barriers to Leaving Abusive Relationships (00:09:09) Lisa and Laura discuss why leaving abuse is complex, including privilege and safety concerns. The Long Healing Journey (00:14:12) Lisa shares that her healing has spanned 30 years, involving unraveling trauma and conditioning. Visible Healing and Personal Growth (00:16:15) Laura and Lisa reflect on how healing manifests outwardly and the unseen hard work behind it. Reacting vs. Responding and the Limits of Clichés (00:19:10) Discussion on the difference between reacting and responding, and why healing isn't as simple as memes suggest. Being vs. Doing in Healing (00:23:23) Lisa emphasizes the importance of being present and authentic in the healing process. Journaling and Pattern Recognition (00:26:04) Lisa recommends journaling to track feelings and patterns, aiding in rebuilding self-trust. Lisa's Podcast and Coaching Work (00:28:54) Lisa introduces her podcast "Conscious Insights" and describes her coaching clientele. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Lisa, 'That was the pivoting point in my life where I hit absolute bottom. There was absolutely nothing left of me.'Lisa, 'Some part of me, the fighter in me, came up and said, I'm not going to let this define me, and I will overcome it.'Lisa, 'Sometimes the emotions are more than what our bodies and brain and nervous system can take, and we become numb because that's the only way we can survive.'Lisa, 'There was a lot of conditioning that I wasn't aware of when I started the journey that was given to me from generations that I've had to unravel.'Lisa, 'There are times when I'm still learning to trust my gut, and I've been doing this for a long time.' RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 [https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517] Connect with Lisa * www.consciouslyawakecounseling.com [http://www.consciouslyawakecounseling.com/] * https://consciouslyawakecounseling.com/about-me/ [https://consciouslyawakecounseling.com/about-me/] * Lisa Hawkins Dating & Relationship Coach - https://www.facebook.com/ConsciouslyAwakeCoun [https://www.facebook.com/ConsciouslyAwakeCoun] * Consciously Awake Counseling https://www.instagram.com/consciouslyawakecounseling/ [https://www.instagram.com/consciouslyawakecounseling/] * Amazon KDP Ebook The Awakening by Lisa Hawkins : https://a.co/d/cQAua5o [https://a.co/d/cQAua5o] * Conscious Insights Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4YZ3Dl30yDsNfMuHBvtkgK?si=db73a25f188b4a6b [https://open.spotify.com/show/4YZ3Dl30yDsNfMuHBvtkgK?si=db73a25f188b4a6b] "Healing begins the moment you stop ignoring your instincts and start trusting your truth." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.