The Love You're Chasing Might Not Be Love

The Love You're Chasing Might Not Be Love

What if the love you've been chasing was never meant to stay the same? In this episode, John Kim shares excerpts from his new book, Love Hard on Purpose, and explores how love evolves as we heal. He reflects on the difference between unhealthy, dopamine-driven relationships and the kind of love that challenges us to grow, repair, and become better versions of ourselves. In this episode: • Why love isn't just meant to make us happy, but to help us heal • The difference between healthy love and unhealthy love • How we confuse intensity with intimacy • Why conflict and repair are essential to lasting relationships • The journey from "drug love" to "medicine love" • A personal reflection on the "B-sides" of life that quietly shape who we become If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who could use the reminder that love can be a path to healing. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Re-release: Two Life Game Changers

In this episode, John Kim shares two practices that have had the biggest impact on his own life and wellbeing. He explains why reducing your everyday fight or flight state and learning to get out of your head can help you move from simply surviving to genuinely thriving. In this episode: • Why subtle fight or flight can quietly shape your everyday life • How designing your lifestyle can help you feel more grounded • The importance of joy, gratitude, friendships, and creative spaces • Practical ways to interrupt negative thought patterns • Why lasting change comes from consistent daily practice, not quick fixes If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who could use the reminder today. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Re-release: The Race Was Never Real | Notes on Slowing Down Without Falling Behind

What happens when you stop chasing and start listening? In this episode, John shares the personal shifts he's working through after moving to Costa Rica. From learning to surf at 52 to redefining success, he reflects on slowing down, letting go of old patterns, and finding joy in the small moments that make life feel more alive. In this episode: • Why he's learning to approach surfing as a practice instead of a performance • The role of detachment in reducing stress and calming the nervous system • Letting go of FOMO and the pressure to constantly achieve • Challenging the belief that rest must be earned • Redefining what "enough" means beyond money, milestones, and validation • Learning to notice everyday moments of joy, or what he calls “nectar" John also shares reflections on adjusting to life in Costa Rica, embracing a slower pace, and documenting what he calls his "second rebirth." If this episode resonated with you, follow the podcast, share it with someone who needs it, and join us for the next conversation. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Re-release: First 5 Dating No’s

Dating can feel exhausting, especially when every first date seems loaded with pressure, expectations, and endless swiping. In this episode, John shares five first-date reminders for navigating modern dating with more confidence, curiosity, and intention. He explores why dating often feels transactional today, how expectations can get in the way of connection, and what it looks like to approach dating without turning every encounter into a search for "the one." In this episode: • Why John believes dating has become low-effort and transactional • The importance of planning and showing intention on a first date • Why "less history, more mystery" can create better conversations • How expectations can sabotage connection • Why you're not looking for your soulmate on a first date • How to handle rejection, disappointment, and bad dates without taking them personally 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Therapy Thursdays: Are You Ready to Date Again?

Why is it so hard to let go of someone you know isn't right for you? How do you know when you've healed enough to date again? Can someone truly love you if you don't love themselves? And what do you do when trust is broken? In this listener Q&A, I answer questions about heartbreak, attachment, self-worth, trust, and what it actually takes to build healthy relationships. We explore why we can stay emotionally attached to an ex even when we know the relationship wasn't right, how toxic relationships can shape our dating patterns, and the difference between seeking connection and avoiding loneliness. I also share my thoughts on love languages, masculinity, rebuilding trust after betrayal, and one small step you can take today to begin changing your life. Whether you're trying to move on, wondering if you're ready to date again, or looking to build healthier relationships, I hope this conversation gives you something to reflect on. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://acesse.one/bioe5v7 [https://acesse.one/bioe5v7] John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co [https://www.soulprintmedia.co] 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ [https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist] If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE [https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/] Order John’s book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898] Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en] Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.theangrytherapist.com/] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]