20. Will Matty Read This?

23. Whistle Blowers for Aliens

Chris and Matty finally do the alien episode, which according to Chris is the moment they officially became a real comedy podcast. They dig into the Age of Disclosure documentary, UAP whistleblowers, the little guys at Area 51, and the global race to reverse-engineer alien tech, before getting sidetracked onto flying cars we never got, AI quietly making everyone dumber, and a dragon cover-up theory that may get them detained. Then Chicago comedian and environmentalist Lucia Whalen (@luciawhalen) joins for her third visit to tell the full story of the car that was definitely stolen until it wasn't, and to bum everyone out (lovingly) about Roundup, Monsanto, and the Supreme Court before talking everyone back off the ledge.

Sam Biru! Our Buddy!

Our buddy Sam Biru (@morkatabiru) finally pulls up to the Buddy System for the first time, and he earned it: Chicago comic by way of Philadelphia, 2025 JFL New Faces, and one of the best of the new class. Chris and Matty get into the laughing tap to JFL pipeline, the time two grown men with their luggage finished a kids' bingo card at the Milwaukee Bobblehead Museum, and why it is basically impossible to doomscroll the news and then go do standup. From there it is whitewashed history class and the ongoing case that Paul Revere is not real, the Penn State professor who taught nothing, and Sam's acting past, including a play where his only job was to die of a seizure and the time he got booted a week before opening night for bringing beer and hash to rehearsal. Sam runs a live voiceover bit as a 75 year old conspiracy theorist school bus driver, the guys pitch a songless Lord of the Rings, and it all ends with a full Chet Hanks appreciation hour. Comedy, Chicago stand up, and a whole lot of tangents.

21. Adam Gilbert! Our Buddy!

Our buddy Adam Gilbert (@adamgilbert__) is back in Chicago for a sold-out weekend and we got him in the studio. We arm him with a hatchet because and he tells the story of the night someone stole his suitcase out of his car outside the Hideout while he was on Molly, how Old Navy in Indianapolis got him through the rest of the road run, and the absolute farce that is trying to file a police report at the Logan Square station. Chris and Adam reconnect on meeting at Cream City Comedy Fest in 2016, comedy festivals as summer camp, and the brutal Tuesday-night logic of clubs putting headliners on slow nights. We do Cryptid of the Month with Mothman, the New Jersey Devil, and Adam's complete confusion about who Cthulhu is, which becomes a Katulu's-cock-behind-a-Patreon-paywall bit and the birth of NSFC (Not Safe For Cowards). Plus: hungover British accents in the Amtrak quiet car, Adam's first full year headlining and the tickets-tickets-tickets grind, his animal-penis Wikipedia spiral leading into a fully sober lecture about what tentacle porn is, bad Better Help teletherapists, and Adam going on record that Chicago tavern-style pizza beats New York pizza.

20. Will Matty Read This?

Our buddy Luke Null (SNL, "Pretty Songs Dirty Words" ft. Wayne Brady) is back at the studio and he and Chris have a new segment to debut: Will Matty Read It, where they pitch Matty a book and find out whether he'll actually read the thing. Luke goes first with Joe Abercrombie's Best Served Cold, a Kill Bill revenge novel set in the First Law universe with a numbers-obsessed sociopath named Friendly. Chris counters with Stephen King's Gerald's Game, the one about the woman handcuffed to the bed in a Maine cabin with a dead husband on the floor and a very tall man watching her from the corner, who the boys spend the rest of the episode calling Carl. Along the way they get into George R.R. Martin letting fan fiction of his own books trickle out, why The Dark Tower movie is the worst book adaptation ever made, the genius of The Stand's Boulder-versus-Vegas premise, and Matty workshopping his own forest fantasy novel on the spot with strict rules against robot shit and animal husbandry.

19. Cinco De Mayo

It's a spring double-holiday episode and Israel and Rob made sure Chris and Matty actually learned what the Battle of Puebla was about before they ran their mouths. From there: Mattie's iPhone alarm has ruined Bob Marley for him, he found a pile of dead flickers in Michigan and called the DNR, ramps are out, Chris recaps the Dallas / Tulsa / Portland / Eugene tour run, Texas writes everyone's textbooks, Homo sapiens vs Neanderthals (we won because we threw stuff), three new Favorite Animals including a monkey that looks like it got napalmed, Maeve buying a Costco pear tree that needs a buddy to fruit, an amphibious bike with big old titties (patent pending), and Oregon rocks for Treasure of the Week.