Why 30 Years of Dementia Caregiving Broke Every Assumption She Had (with Lori La Bey)

Why 30 Years of Dementia Caregiving Broke Every Assumption She Had (with Lori La Bey)

What happens when a family is left to navigate dementia without clear guidance or support? In this episode, Andrew Karesa [https://www.linkedin.com/in/andykaresa/] sits down with Lori La Bey [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorilabeyalzheimersspeaks/], founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks [https://alzheimersspeaks.com/], to explore what a decades-long caregiving journey reveals about the realities of dementia care. Lori supported her mother through a 30-year experience with dementia. What began as confusion and uncertainty became a lifelong commitment to understanding care, building community, and creating space for voices that were often missing from the conversation. She shares what those early years looked like, what families are often not prepared for, and why so much of caregiving happens outside of formal systems. Lori reflects on the gap between diagnosis and real support, the role of community in navigating that gap, and how her work has helped reshape how caregivers connect, learn, and support one another. This conversation moves beyond theory. It focuses on what caregiving actually looks like over time, and what it takes to support someone while adapting to constant change. In this episode: • What a 30-year dementia journey reveals about caregiving • The gap between diagnosis and meaningful support • Why families often feel like they are figuring it out on their own • How community-based models like memory cafés are changing care • The role of lived experience in shaping better support systems • How dementia conversations have evolved over time • Why connection matters as much as clinical care Whether you are caring for a loved one, supporting someone through a diagnosis, or working in the dementia space, this episode offers a grounded look at what long-term caregiving really requires. Care doesn’t begin with a system. It begins with people finding their way forward, often before anyone shows them how. Learn more at:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] ⁠https://alzheimersspeaks.com [https://alzheimersspeaks.com] https://dementiamap.com [https://dementiamap.com] ——— Join The Village and help shape conversations like this by submitting questions to our guests: https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage [https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage] ——— Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members.

Anosognosia: Why They Don't Believe Anything's Wrong (with Karen Tyrell)

What happens when correcting someone you love no longer brings clarity, and may actually increase distress? In this episode, ⁠Andrew Karesa⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/andykaresa/] sits down with ⁠Karen Tyrell⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/karen-tyrell/], founder and CEO of ⁠Personalized Dementia Solutions [https://dementiasolutions.ca/]⁠, to explore one of the most common and misunderstood challenges in dementia care: the instinct to correct. With more than 30 years of experience supporting families and frontline care teams, Karen explains why arguing often backfires, what anosognosia really means, and why some individuals genuinely do not believe anything is wrong. She unpacks how dementia changes insight, reasoning, and perception, and why logic alone is rarely enough. Karen introduces the concept of therapeutic reasoning and walks through practical steps caregivers can use to reduce escalation while preserving dignity. She shares how small shifts in language can prevent repeated emotional harm, how to navigate difficult moments like repeated questions about a deceased spouse, and why medications should not be the first response to agitation. The conversation moves beyond tactics. Karen reflects on stigma over the decades, how dementia care has evolved, and why families should build support early rather than waiting for crisis. She also speaks about her work developing dementia designation programs and creating accessible education that empowers both professionals and unpaid caregivers. In this episode: • Why correcting someone living with dementia often increases distress • What anosognosia is and how it changes conversations • The difference between honesty and therapeutic reasoning • How to respond when someone repeatedly asks about a deceased loved one • Why agitation is communication, not defiance • When medications should and should not be considered • How to build support before burnout sets in • What preserving dignity looks like in real time Whether you are caring for a parent, supporting a spouse, working in long-term care, or trying to understand a recent diagnosis, this episode offers grounded guidance for navigating one of dementia care’s most difficult realities. You cannot win an argument with dementia. But you can change how you respond. Learn more at:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] ⁠https://dementiasolutions.ca⁠ [https://dementiasolutions.ca⁠] ——— Join The Village and help shape conversations like this by submitting questions to our guests: https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage [https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage] ——— Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members.

What Happens When Dementia Takes You Back in Time (with Glenna Hecht)

How do you stay connected to someone when dementia seems to be pulling them further away? In this episode of The Dementia Collective, Andrew Kares [https://www.linkedin.com/in/andykaresa/]a sits down with Glenna Hecht [https://www.linkedin.com/in/glennahecht/], author, speaker, and former HR executive, to explore the unexpected game that transformed her nine year journey caring for her mother living with dementia. Glenna shares the moment everything shifted. After watching her mother move in and out of different ages and memories, she stopped trying to correct the confusion and started asking a different question: “How old are you today?” What began as instinct became a framework. A way to travel with her mother instead of fighting against where she was. Throughout the conversation, Glenna describes what it meant to “be quiet, watch, listen, travel.” By observing her mother’s eyes, body language, and stories, she learned how to enter the world her mother was experiencing in that moment. If her mother was 54, they were 54. If she was in her 20s, they stayed there. The goal was not orientation. It was connection. Glenna also reflects on the hardest moments of caregiving, including walking away from her mother behind a locked metal door in a psychiatric ward while scrambling to secure power of attorney and legal authority. She speaks candidly about guilt, distance, and the realization that she had not fully understood what was happening sooner. As a longtime HR leader and consultant, Glenna brings a second lens to the discussion. She explains why most workplaces are not prepared for the growing number of employees who are quietly caregiving. Managers often see performance changes without recognizing the hidden burden at home. Dementia caregiving is not just a family issue. It is a workforce issue. The episode also challenges one of the most common myths about dementia: the belief that “there is nobody in there.” Glenna argues the opposite. People living with dementia are not lost. They are often time traveling. The responsibility falls on us to meet them where they are. This conversation moves between vulnerability and practicality, from lemon rinds that “smell like sunshine” to daily gratitude rituals built on her mother’s five life rules. At its core, this is a story about choosing curiosity over correction and presence over control. In this episode: • The origin of the “How Old Are You Today?” game • Why observing and listening matters more than fixing • What the psych ward experience taught Glenna about preparation and advocacy • The workplace blind spot around caregiving employees • Why the myth that “there is nobody in there” is harmful • How time travel can become a pathway to connection • What dementia taught Glenna that decades in business never could Whether you are caring for a parent with dementia, supporting a partner living with Alzheimer’s disease, or trying to understand how to stay connected as memory shifts, this episode offers a grounded and deeply human perspective on what is possible when we stop arguing with reality and start entering it. Learn more at: https://www.bluebellvillage.ca [https://www.bluebellvillage.ca] https://www.howoldareyoutoday.com [https://www.howoldareyoutoday.com] ———— Join The Village and help shape conversations like this by submitting questions to our guests: https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage [https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage] ———— Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members.

Why Men Struggle to Ask for Help in Dementia Care (with Ron Beleno)

Why do so many men struggle to ask for help when caring for someone living with dementia? In this episode of The Dementia Collective, Andrew Karesa [https://www.linkedin.com/in/andykaresa/] sits down with Ron Beleno [https://www.linkedin.com/in/ronbeleno/], caregiver advocate and leader in the aging and dementia space, to explore the role men play in dementia caregiving and why many feel pressure to handle the responsibility alone. Ron begins by sharing his own caregiving journey after his father was diagnosed with dementia in 2007. Over more than a decade of supporting his father, Ron experienced firsthand the emotional and practical realities of caring for a parent with dementia, and how that experience shaped the work he does today supporting caregivers across Canada. Much of the conversation centers on the expectations many men carry when they step into caregiving roles. Ron reflects on the pressure to remain strong for the family, to manage dementia care independently, and how those expectations can make it difficult for male caregivers to ask for help or build support networks early in the journey. Andrew and Ron also explore the idea of the care team and why dementia caregiving becomes far more sustainable when responsibility is shared. Rather than trying to manage everything alone, Ron speaks about the importance of inviting others into the journey, whether family members, friends, community supports, or what he describes as “caring community members.” The conversation also touches on caregiver mindset and the internal conversations many caregivers have with themselves. Ron discusses how stress, responsibility, and cultural expectations can shape the way caregivers think about their role, and how reframing those expectations can help families navigate dementia with greater confidence and connection. Throughout the episode, Ron returns to a consistent theme: that caregiving does not need to be carried alone. Building a care team early can transform the experience not only for the caregiver, but for the person living with dementia as well. In this episode: • Why men are often underrepresented in dementia caregiving conversations • The pressure many male caregivers feel to manage dementia care alone • Why asking for help can feel difficult for men caring for a parent with dementia • The importance of building a care team early in the caregiving journey • How caregiver mindset shapes the dementia caregiving experience • The role of caring community members in dementia support networks • Why sharing responsibility can make caregiving more sustainable Whether you are caring for a parent with dementia, supporting a loved one living with Alzheimer’s disease, or trying to better understand the caregiving experience, this conversation offers thoughtful insight into the challenges many families quietly navigate and the importance of building support along the way. Learn more at:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠ [⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠]https://www.ronbeleno.com [https://www.ronbeleno.com]https://wecanbe.ca [https://wecanbe.ca]———Join The Village and help shape conversations like this by submitting questions to our guests: https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage———Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members.

She’s Still There: Separating Alzheimer’s from the Person You Love (with Erin Chalmers)

What does it mean to love someone whose personality is changing and to slowly realize it is not them? In this episode, Andrew Karesa [https://www.linkedin.com/in/andykaresa/] sits down with Erin Chalmers [https://www.linkedin.com/in/erin-chalmers-b88467178/], co-anchor of Global Edmonton Morning News [https://globalnews.ca/author/erin-chalmers/], daughter, caregiver, and Board Member of the Alzheimer Society of Alberta and Northwest Territories [https://alzheimer.ca/ab/en/about-us/board-directors], to talk about her mother’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis and the quiet shift from confusion to clarity that many families experience. Erin shares what the first signs looked like in 2022, the moment her family realized something deeper was happening, and the decision to be proactive instead of reactive. She opens up about sitting down with her mom early to talk through care preferences, navigating a system that can feel fragmented, and learning to separate the disease from the person she loves. The conversation moves beyond logistics. Erin reflects on how caregiving reshaped her identity, how she learned not to take certain behaviours personally, and why the phrase “that’s the disease” became a turning point in her understanding. She speaks candidly about advocating during a hospital stay, the emotional weight of watching cognition fluctuate, and the importance of day programs and structured support for caregivers. Together, Andrew and Erin explore what meaningful caregiver support actually looks like in Alberta, why the system often relies heavily on families to coordinate care, and what she hopes changes for the next generation. They also discuss what initially drew her to blueBell Connect, the importance of centralized communication within family care teams, and the kind of families who would benefit most from a personalized coordination tool. In this episode: • The early signs families often question or dismiss • Why being proactive after diagnosis matters • How to separate the disease from the person • What hospital experiences reveal about gaps in dementia care • The emotional cost of caregiving and how to avoid losing yourself • Why day programs can be a lifeline for families • What meaningful caregiver support in Alberta should look like • How centralized communication tools can reduce stress and confusion Whether you are walking through a new diagnosis, supporting a parent from a distance, or working within the healthcare system, Erin’s story is a reminder that even as memory changes, identity and dignity remain. Connection is still possible. She is still there. Learn more at:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] https://www.bluebellvillage.ca [⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠]Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members.