The Hardcore Therapist

The Hardcore Therapist 118.5- Why Being the “Regulated One” Is Exhausting

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms] If you’re the person who stays calm when everyone else is spiraling… who softens your tone, thinks twice before speaking, and keeps it together so others don’t have to… this episode is for you. Being the regulated one is exhausting not because regulation is hard, but because it’s rarely shared. In this episode, I break down the hidden cost of emotional labor, why over-functioning becomes self-abandonment, and how to start letting others carry their own emotional weight without losing your calm, your boundaries, or your humanity. If you’re tired of being the calm one who carries too much, this episode is your permission to rest without guilt, without shame, and without the room falling apart. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]

The Hardcore Therapist 118- Mike Judge (Judge and Youth of Today)

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms] On this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I'm sitting down with Mike Judge frontman of Judge and, for those who truly know their history, the original drummer for Youth of Today. In other words… this one’s big. Mike has been part of some of the most foundational moments in hardcore. His voice and presence in Judge were raw, honest, and way ahead of their time. But what makes this conversation special is that Mike isn’t just a hardcore icon—he’s someone who stepped away, lived a completely different life, did real internal work, and came back with a groundedness you can feel. In this episode, we get into all of it: the early days, Youth of Today, the rise of Judge, identity, growth, and what it means to be a whole human being outside of the mythology people place on you. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]

The Hardcore Therapist 117.5- Why Your Brain Goes Negative First and How to Build Positivity on Purpose

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms] Why does your brain always go to the worst-case scenario first?  And how do you become more positive without lying to yourself or bypassing reality? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I breaks down the neuroscience behind negative thinking, why your brain is wired for threat, not happiness, and why “just think positive” doesn’t work. Guided Mind-Mapping Exercise Interrupting Worst-Case Thinking You can do this exercise while listening or come back to it anytime your thoughts start spiraling. Grab a piece of paper or your notes app. 1. Core Thought (Center of the Page)  Write the main negative or worst-case thought looping in your mind. Don’t edit it just get it out. 2. Name the Threat  Ask: What is my brain trying to protect me from?  (e.g., rejection, failure, loss, shame) 3. The Facts  List only what you know for sure observable facts, not interpretations. 4. What Else Could Be True?  Write 2–3 realistic alternatives that don’t dismiss reality, but widen perspective. 5. Regulate First  Note one thing that would help your nervous system right now  (slow exhales, grounding, water, stepping outside). 6. Intentional Positive Input  Add one small, believable supportive thought not forced positivity. This isn’t about “thinking happy.”  It’s about helping a threat-wired brain slow down, widen perspective, and feel safer. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]

The Hardcore Therapist 117- Tina Coyle

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms] In today’s episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I amshining a light on someone whose impact on the hardcore scene has been felt for decades—even if she’s rarely stepped into the spotlight. Tina Coyle, wife of vocalist John Coyle, has been a quiet yet powerful force behind Outspoken and the broader hardcore community. Introduced to the scene through John, Tina quickly became part of its heartbeat, traveling with the band around the world and supporting them through every era. Her dedication to documenting the music—through photos, footage, and countless preserved moments—has safeguarded pieces of hardcore history that might have otherwise disappeared. Tina’s behind-the-scenes presence, steady grounding energy, and love for the community have made her an essential thread in the story of Outspoken and a beloved friend to me. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]

The Hardcore Therapist 116.5- How do I start healing from childhood trauma?

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms] In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I  breaks down what childhood trauma really is (including emotional neglect and attachment wounds), why healing can feel so confusing, and where to begin without retraumatizing yourself. This is a grounding, research-informed conversation focused on nervous system safety, self-compassion, and realistic first steps toward healing especially if you’ve spent years telling yourself it “wasn’t that bad.” This episode is not about blaming parents or reliving the past. It’s about understanding how you adapted to survive and how to begin building a safer present. Listener discretion is advised. Take care of yourself as you listen. Important note: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you feel overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a trauma-informed mental health professional or a trusted support person. If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might need permission to start healing slowly. You can journal on these or sit with them quietly: 1. What did I learn about safety, love, or worth as a child? 2. Which of those lessons no longer serve me? 3. What does safety feel like in my body—if only for a moment? 4. What support do I resist, and why? 5. If my symptoms were messengers, what would they be asking for? Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]