The Hardcore Therapist

The Hardcore Therapist 123.5- Nice Isn’t Always Nice: When Being “Easygoing” Is Actually a Trauma Response

Send a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms]  We’re taught that being “nice” is a virtue.  But what if some of the behaviors we call niceness are actually survival strategies? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist Podcast, I unpack the subtle ways trauma can disguise itself as politeness, agreeableness, and being “low maintenance.” We explore patterns many people mistake for kindness—over-explaining every no, apologizing when someone bumps into you, laughing off disrespect, saying “sure” when you mean no, and managing everyone else’s emotions before your own. This conversation breaks down the nervous-system logic behind people-pleasing and the fawn response, why these behaviors once kept you safe, and how they quietly erode self-trust and boundaries in adulthood. We also talk about what healing actually looks like not becoming colder or harsher, but becoming more honest and self-loyal. Book suggestions  1. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving — Pete Walker (popularizes the 4F framework including “fawn”) 2. Set Boundaries, Find Peace — Nedra Glover Tawwab (clear boundary scripts + mindset shifts) 3. The Disease to Please — Harriet Braiker (classic on people-pleasing patterns + recovery steps) 4.  Are You Mad at Me? — Meg Josephson (people-pleasing/anxiety lens; mentioned in recent coverage)  Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]

The Hardcore Therapist 123- Kevin Seconds

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms] Today on The Hardcore Therapist, I’m honored to welcome Kevin Seconds. Kevin is the frontman of the legendary hardcore punk band 7 Seconds, a group that helped define the sound, values, and heart of hardcore. For over four decades, his voice, lyrics, and presence have championed authenticity, community, and emotional honesty long before those conversations were mainstream. He is a prolific artist  and you can check out his art at https://rivingloomarts.bigcartel.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=pmax&utm_campaign=21775906273&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid= Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]

The Hardcore Therapist 122.5- Eating Is Comfort When You Were Emotionally Starved

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms] In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explore why overeating, bingeing, or restricting so often develop in people who grew up emotionally undernourished  even when their basic needs were met. Parents may have been physically present but emotionally unavailable, leaving food to become one of the earliest and most reliable forms of regulation. This is not an episode about diets, discipline, or fixing yourself.  It’s about understanding how the nervous system adapts to emotional absence and why willpower alone can’t heal an attachment wound. I cover: * Why food becomes a nervous system regulator * The difference between “food addiction” and emotional neglect * How restriction and bingeing can come from the same unmet needs * Why shame, rules, and control don’t create lasting change * What real healing actually involves; including grief, safety, and self-compassion No numbers. No meal plans. No moralizing. Just a clear, trauma-informed conversation about why your relationship with food makes sense  and what it’s been trying to protect you from. Trigger note: This episode discusses eating behaviors and emotional neglect. While no instructions or numbers are given, the topic may be activating for some listeners. Please pause or return when you feel resourced. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]

The Hardcore Therapist 122- Maria (Doll Fest)

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms] Today’s guest is Maria, the force behind Dollfest in Oakland, California. Maria created Dollfest as a radical act of space-making, centering women, femmes, and marginalized voices in a scene that hasn’t always made room for them. This isn’t just a festival; it’s community care, resistance, and creativity wrapped into one loud, defiant weekend. Maria is proof that when women build their own platforms, they don’t just participate, they change the culture. I’m really excited for you all to hear about her power, visibility, and what it means to build something on your own terms. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]

The Hardcore Therapist 121.5- Why does a healthy relationship sometimes feel boring after chaos?

Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2255460/open_sms] In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explore why emotional safety can feel uncomfortable especially after trauma, intense relationships, or nervous systems conditioned to unpredictability. You’ll learn how trauma impacts attachment, dopamine, and emotional regulation, why calm can feel unfamiliar or dull, and how boredom in long-term relationships doesn’t mean something is wrong. We also discuss how to rebuild connection and emotional aliveness without recreating chaos. This episode is for anyone healing from trauma bonds, navigating healthy relationships, or learning how to tolerate peace without self-sabotage. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2255460/support]