The Shame of Wanting More: Anna Kalbasko on Ambition, Guilt, and Permission to Grow

The Shame of Wanting More: Anna Kalbasko on Ambition, Guilt, and Permission to Grow

In this episode of The Honest Place, I speak with Anna Kalbasko about why wanting more can feel so emotionally loaded for women. Anna is a therapist, coach, and founder whose work explores self-trust, inner work, and the role of trust in how we relate to ourselves and others. Together, we talk about: * why ambition can come with guilt and shame * visibility, impact, and money * the fear of being too much * the fear of being ungrateful for what we already have * why uncertainty can make desire feel unsafe * shame as protection * the deeper fear beneath ambition: losing love, belonging, or approval * grief around having more opportunities than previous generations of women had * and what it means to support the part of ourselves that wants more, instead of silencing it This conversation is for women who may look capable and composed from the outside, but know how charged desire, ambition, visibility, and growth can feel from the inside. A few questions this episode holds: * Can I want more without making what I already have feel not enough? * Can I become more visible, powerful, or free without losing belonging? * What would it mean to stop shaming the part of me that wants more?

When Achievement Stops Holding You Together: Olga Nikitina on Burnout, Identity and Rebuilding

What happens when achievement has become the thing that holds you together — and then one day, that strategy no longer works? In this episode of The Honest Place, I speak with Olga Nikitina — startup co-founder, entrepreneur, immigrant, mother, and host of her own podcast about depression, insomnia, burnout, and rebuilding. Olga and I first met as founders in Silicon Valley, where so many conversations revolve around growth, fundraising, productivity, and the next milestone. But this conversation goes beneath that visible layer. We talk about achievement not only as ambition, but as identity, coping, safety, and a way of earning our place in the world. Olga shares what it was like to realize that ambition had become a coping strategy, what happened when her body could no longer continue in the old way, how support reached her, and what rebuilding a life looks like now. We also talk about motherhood, the pressure of visible success, the silence around mental health, and the question of what it really means to build a life that is not only impressive from the outside, but livable from the inside. This is not a clinical conversation or advice. It is a lived-experience conversation about ambition, identity, burnout, support, motherhood, and rebuilding from a more honest place.

Why Are We Afraid to Be Beginners

In this episode, I reflect on why being a beginner can feel so vulnerable — and why we so often rush toward expertise, credibility, and legitimacy before giving ourselves permission to begin. I speak about: * moving to the UK and finding my first job in a completely new country * starting a period care company in the US without industry knowledge * building in women’s health without a clinical background * and creating The Honest Place itself while learning the format as I go I also reflect on: * Sara Blakely’s belief that not knowing how something is “supposed” to be done can become a real advantage * how beginnerhood can bring freshness, openness, creativity, and closer attention * and why the pull toward expertise is often not only about knowledge, but also about permission In this conversation, I explore the idea that: * not knowing is not always a flaw * beginnerhood can free us from inherited assumptions * and some of the most original paths open up when we stop waiting to feel fully legitimate first A few reflection questions to take with you: * Where in your life are you resisting being a beginner? * What do you think not knowing says about you? * Where might not knowing actually be an advantage for you? * What would you start if you didn’t feel the need to have credibility first? The Honest Place is a reflective conversation space about self-worth, identity, leadership, ambition, and the inner questions so many of us carry.

Belonging vs. Fitting In

In this episode, I reflect on the difference between belonging and fitting in — and on how much of our lives can be shaped by trying to be accepted, rather than feeling truly at home as ourselves. I speak about: * growing up in Siberia, where fitting in and not standing out felt like the safest way to move through life * immigration and how moving to a new country changed my understanding of what belonging could be * why belonging in our families is so essential, and how painful it is when it feels conditional * Johann Hari’s work on loneliness and connection * Martha Beck’s idea that each of us carries an inner “everybody” whose imagined judgment shapes our choices more than we often realize In this conversation, I explore the idea that: * fitting in is often a survival strategy * belonging asks something much deeper * and true belonging may begin with belonging to ourselves first A few reflection questions to take with you: * In what areas of your life do you feel you are fitting in rather than belonging? * Where did you first learn that belonging could be conditional? * Who is your “everybody” when you imagine what other people will think? * What might change in your life if you chose belonging over fitting in? The Honest Place is a reflective conversation space about self-worth, identity, leadership, ambition, and the inner questions so many of us carry. You can also join the live conversations every two weeks on Instagram: @svetlanakazco

Why Are We So Afraid of Failure?

In this episode, I reflect on a difficult but important question: Why are we so afraid of failure? I speak about shame, identity, self-worth, visibility, and why failure can feel so much bigger than the outcome itself. In this conversation, I share: * why the people around us can sometimes be even more uncomfortable with our failures than we are * what I learned from starting and closing companies and projects * how comparison changes the way we experience success and failure * why so many of us tie our identity to what works * and what it means to let a project fail without letting the self fail with it I also reflect on: * Brené Brown’s work on failure, shame, and courage * Abby Wambach’s idea that failure means you are in the game * and why some kinds of meaningful success are only possible because someone was willing to fail repeatedly and learn A few reflection questions to take with you: * What feelings come up for you when you think about failure? * What part of your identity is tied to what works or doesn’t work? * What has failure taught you that success could not have taught you? The Honest Place is a reflective conversation space about self-worth, identity, leadership, ambition, and the inner questions so many of us carry. You can also join the live conversations every two weeks on Instagram: @svetlanakazco