Is Attachment to the Outcome Getting in the Way of Your Dreams?

Am I Unsafe or Just Uncomfortable?: A Conversation with April Martini

In this episode, Melissa sits down with advisor and speaker April Martini for a conversation about authenticity, trauma, resilience, nervous system regulation, and learning to respond differently when life feels overwhelming. April shares her journey from growing up in an abusive home to serving in the Army, leading in corporate America, and ultimately becoming an entrepreneur who helps women navigate life's hardest moments with authenticity and courage. Together, Melissa and April explore how childhood experiences shape our adult reactions, why healing isn't about eliminating trauma responses, and one simple question that can help you move through fear with greater confidence. Whether you're navigating relationships, leadership, entrepreneurship, or everyday stress, this episode offers practical tools to help you pause, regulate your nervous system, and respond from a place of awareness instead of survival. In this episode, Melissa and April discuss: * How childhood trauma shapes adult patterns and relationships * Why healing isn't about "fixing" yourself—it's about building new tools * Practical ways to regulate your nervous system in stressful moments * How to identify trauma responses before they spiral * How vulnerability and authenticity build resilience * Why entrepreneurship requires learning to tolerate healthy discomfort Listen if you: * Wonder why certain situations trigger strong emotional reactions * Feel stuck in patterns of anxiety, fear, or self-doubt * Want practical nervous system tools you can use immediately * Struggle to know when to push through discomfort—and when to step away * Are building a business or career that continually stretches you   About Guest April Martini April Martini spent 18 years building other people's visions before she built her own. A U.S. Army veteran, she spent nearly two decades in corporate leadership before walking away in January 2025 to do the work she was actually built for. She didn't arrive at this work from theory. April grew up in an abusive household and spent much of her 20s making decisions from survival mode without knowing that's what it was. Years of her own deep personal growth work later taught her what it actually takes to stop performing and start leading from who you really are. Now a certified life coach, keynote speaker, and author, April helps leaders and high-achieving women make that same shift. Her TEDx talk, "The Risk of Being Unknown," lays out the cost of staying hidden, even when hidden looks like success. She's the creator of The Martini Method, a five-part framework for doing that work yourself. April’s LINKS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/apriltmartini/ [https://www.instagram.com/apriltmartini/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aprilmartini/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/aprilmartini/] Website: www.aprilmartini.com [http://www.aprilmartini.com/] TEDx Talk: https://youtu.be/6LXo9jclch0?si=Wbm71zjgL_c2kziT [https://youtu.be/6LXo9jclch0?si=Wbm71zjgL_c2kziT] This episode is for: * Women navigating personal growth and healing * Entrepreneurs learning to embrace discomfort * Leaders who want to respond instead of react * Anyone interested in trauma-informed personal development * Anyone who wants to build resilience without sacrificing themselves * People ready to stop living in survival mode And…if you’re ready to explore a life of Aligned Success, Click here [https://calendly.com/melissacoloton/60-minute-consult/] to book a free 1-hour consultation with Melissa. Melissa’s Additional Resources To Help Get You Started: * Take my Quiz: Where Are You Abandoning Yourself? [https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68f58032d65eea001566992e] and receive a free 7-day targeted action plan to get started * My free 3-part “Introduction to Honoring Yourself” email series - get it here [https://melissacoloton-coaching-consulting.kit.com/990c04f424] The Honor You Course: If you're ready to take your next step toward aligned success, I'm excited to share that the self-paced version of The Honor You Lab [https://melissacoloton.com/the-honor-you-lab] i https://melissacoloton.com/the-honor-you-labs now open! The Honor You Lab is a 6‑week transformational reset designed for professionals who know there has to be a better way than burnout, survival, and autopilot success. Inside the Lab you’ll find structured audio lessons, activities, and prompts to help you develop a new internal framework that helps you reset, reconnect with yourself, and live life according to your needs, not external expectations. Let’s connect! Instagram: @melissa_coloton [https://www.instagram.com/melissa_coloton/] Website: melissacoloton.com/ [https://melissacoloton.com/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/ [https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/] TikTok: @melissacoloton [https://www.tiktok.com/@melissacoloton] YouTube: @melissacolotonshow [https://www.youtube.com/@melissacolotonshow/] About The Honor You Podcast The Honor You Podcast explores personal growth, purpose, identity, and what it means to honor who you are becoming, without burnout, shame, or hustle culture. Hosted by Melissa Coloton, the show blends reflection, insight, and practical tools through the framework of The Honor You Method, offering grounded guidance for navigating transitions, leadership, and aligned decision-making. Each episode invites you to slow down, listen inward, and make intentional choices rooted in your values, your season, and your well-being. This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about honoring yourself, one aligned step at a time.

Steps to Navigating Your Personal Purpose Journey

In this episode, Melissa discusses how we are overcomplicating the idea of “finding our purpose.” She breaks down why so many of us get stuck, whether we’re in the camp that desperately wants to live a purposeful life or the camp that feels like purpose is some unrealistic luxury. Melissa explores the generational shift happening right now, how old expectations collide with new freedoms, and why so many people feel torn between wanting a meaningful life and feeling like they don’t have permission to pursue it. She talks about the real reasons people end up confused, bitter, or frozen, and provides actionable steps if you’ve spent years saying, “I don’t know what I want.” You’ll hear her simple definition of purpose (and why it’s way simpler than you think), along with the three steps she believes are essential for a purposeful life. Melissa also shares a personal example that shows what it looks like to follow the small stirrings of your soul.. This episode is an invitation to take the pressure off, reconnect with yourself, and remember that purpose isn’t a job title, it’s listening to and honoring what your soul wants, one action at a time.   This episode is for: * Anyone who feels a quiet tug toward something they haven’t acted on yet * People who worry they’ll look back someday wishing they’d done things differently * High achievers who follow expectations but feel disconnected from what they actually want * Anyone afraid of disappointing others or being judged for honoring themselves * Those curious about what their soul is nudging them toward, what’s getting in the way, and how to move forward And…if you’re ready to explore a life of Aligned Success, Click here [https://calendly.com/melissacoloton/60-minute-consult/] to book a free 1-hour consultation with Melissa. In This Episode, We Talk About * Different reasons people may get stuck in “finding” their purpose * How to notice what truly matters to you * Ways to take meaningful action in your life * How to reflect, learn, and adjust as you go Resources To Help Get You Started: * Take my Quiz: Where Are You Abandoning Yourself? [https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68f58032d65eea001566992e] and receive a free 7-day targeted action plan to get started * My free 3-part “Introduction to Honoring Yourself” email series - get it here [https://melissacoloton-coaching-consulting.kit.com/990c04f424] The Honor You Course: If you're ready to take your next step toward aligned success, I'm excited to share that the self-paced version of The Honor You Lab [https://melissacoloton.com/the-honor-you-lab] i https://melissacoloton.com/the-honor-you-labs now open! The Honor You Lab is a 6‑week transformational reset designed for professionals who know there has to be a better way than burnout, survival, and autopilot success. Inside the Lab you’ll find structured audio lessons, activities, and prompts to help you develop a new internal framework that helps you reset, reconnect with yourself, and live life according to your needs, not external expectations.   Let’s connect! Instagram: @melissa_coloton [https://www.instagram.com/melissa_coloton/] Website: melissacoloton.com/ [https://melissacoloton.com/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/ [https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/] TikTok: @melissacoloton [https://www.tiktok.com/@melissacoloton] YouTube: @melissacolotonshow [https://www.youtube.com/@melissacolotonshow/] About The Honor You Podcast The Honor You Podcast explores personal growth, purpose, identity, and what it means to honor who you are becoming, without burnout, shame, or hustle culture. Hosted by Melissa Coloton, the show blends reflection, insight, and practical tools through the framework of The Honor You Method, offering grounded guidance for navigating transitions, leadership, and aligned decision-making. Each episode invites you to slow down, listen inward, and make intentional choices rooted in your values, your season, and your well-being. This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about honoring yourself, one aligned step at a time.

Is Attachment to the Outcome Getting in the Way of Your Dreams?

What if the thing standing between you and the life you want isn't a lack of talent, motivation, or opportunity, but your attachment to the outcome itself? In this week’s episode, Melissa shares how deeply wanting something can sometimes create the very resistance that keeps us from fully pursuing it. She unpacks the subtle ways fear of failure, perfectionism, and emotional attachment can show up as procrastination, overthinking, self-doubt, and playing small, even when we genuinely want to move forward. Melissa also offers practical ways to recognize when you're "pushing the gas and the brake at the same time," along with a powerful perspective shift that can help you stop gripping so tightly and start trusting yourself more. Whether you're building a business, navigating a career transition, pursuing a relationship, or chasing a long-held dream, this conversation will help you approach your goals with greater confidence, alignment, and freedom. Listen if: * You have a goal or dream that feels deeply important to you * You keep starting and stopping instead of fully committing * You're afraid of failing at something you really care about * You find yourself overthinking every step or outcome And…if you’re ready to explore a life of Aligned Success, Click here [https://calendly.com/melissacoloton/60-minute-consult/] to book a free 1-hour consultation with Melissa. This Episode Is For: * People navigating career changes or personal growth * Anyone struggling with perfectionism or fear of failure * Those who are ready to stop holding themselves back and start moving forward with more trust and confidence * Entrepreneurs and business owners Resources To Help Get You Started: * Take my Quiz: Where Are You Abandoning Yourself? [https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68f58032d65eea001566992e] and receive a free 7-day targeted action plan to get started * My free 3-part “Introduction to Honoring Yourself” email series - get it here [https://melissacoloton-coaching-consulting.kit.com/990c04f424] The Honor You Course: If you're ready to take your next step toward aligned success, I'm excited to share that the self-paced version of The Honor You Lab [https://melissacoloton.com/the-honor-you-lab] i https://melissacoloton.com/the-honor-you-labs now open! The Honor You Lab is a 6‑week transformational reset designed for professionals who know there has to be a better way than burnout, survival, and autopilot success. Inside the Lab you’ll find structured audio lessons, activities, and prompts to help you develop a new internal framework that helps you reset, reconnect with yourself, and live life according to your needs, not external expectations.   Let’s connect! Instagram: @melissa_coloton [https://www.instagram.com/melissa_coloton/] Website: melissacoloton.com/ [https://melissacoloton.com/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/ [https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/] TikTok: @melissacoloton [https://www.tiktok.com/@melissacoloton] YouTube: @melissacolotonshow [https://www.youtube.com/@melissacolotonshow/] About The Honor You Podcast The Honor You Podcast explores personal growth, purpose, identity, and what it means to honor who you are becoming, without burnout, shame, or hustle culture. Hosted by Melissa Coloton, the show blends reflection, insight, and practical tools through the framework of The Honor You Method, offering grounded guidance for navigating transitions, leadership, and aligned decision-making. Each episode invites you to slow down, listen inward, and make intentional choices rooted in your values, your season, and your well-being. This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about honoring yourself, one aligned step at a time.

Is It Burnout or Is It Trauma?

In this episode, Melissa explores a question that shifted the way she understands her own experience after leaving corporate leadership and building her coaching business: Was it really burnout, or was it trauma? After spending years believing she was recovering from burnout, Melissa shares how a recent realization uncovered something deeper. Through personal reflection, self-coaching, and honest examination, she discovered that what she had labeled as burnout may have actually been more along the lines of trauma as a result of prolonged exposure to workplace bullying, fear, and chronic stress. Melissa discusses the difference between burnout and trauma, how unresolved experiences can quietly influence our willingness to pursue new goals, and why understanding the root cause matters in how you approach moving forward.  In This Episode, Melissa shares: * Key differences between burnout and trauma * Why fear from past experiences can hold you back from pursuing future goals * How trauma can disguise itself as caution, hesitation, or perfectionism Listen If: * You keep telling yourself you're burned out, but rest doesn't seem to help * A difficult work experience still affects your confidence today * You're struggling to fully commit to a goal, dream, business, or next chapter * You feel like you're pushing the gas and brake at the same time And…if you’re ready to explore a life of Aligned Success, Click here [https://calendly.com/melissacoloton/60-minute-consult/] to book a free 1-hour consultation with Melissa. This Episode Is For People Who: * Professionals recovering from toxic work environments * Entrepreneurs building something meaningful after corporate life * Anyone carrying emotional residue from past experiences Resources To Help Get You Started: * Take my Quiz: Where Are You Abandoning Yourself? [https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68f58032d65eea001566992e] and receive a free 7-day targeted action plan to get started * My free 3-part “Introduction to Honoring Yourself” email series - get it here [https://melissacoloton-coaching-consulting.kit.com/990c04f424] The Honor You Course: If you're ready to take your next step toward aligned success, I'm excited to share that the self-paced version of The Honor You Lab i [https://melissacoloton.thrivecart.com/the-honor-you-lab-course/]s now open! The Honor You Lab is a 6‑week transformational reset designed for professionals who know there has to be a better way than burnout, survival, and autopilot success. Inside the Lab you’ll find structured audio lessons, activities, and prompts to help you develop a new internal framework that helps you reset, reconnect with yourself, and live life according to your needs, not external expectations.   Let’s connect! Instagram: @melissa_coloton [https://www.instagram.com/melissa_coloton/] Website: melissacoloton.com/ [https://melissacoloton.com/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/ [https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/] TikTok: @melissacoloton [https://www.tiktok.com/@melissacoloton] YouTube: @melissacolotonshow [https://www.youtube.com/@melissacolotonshow/] About The Honor You Podcast The Honor You Podcast explores personal growth, purpose, identity, and what it means to honor who you are becoming, without burnout, shame, or hustle culture. Hosted by Melissa Coloton, the show blends reflection, insight, and practical tools through the framework of The Honor You Method, offering grounded guidance for navigating transitions, leadership, and aligned decision-making. Each episode invites you to slow down, listen inward, and make intentional choices rooted in your values, your season, and your well-being. This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about honoring yourself, one aligned step at a time.

The Major Thing Missing in You Being Able to Reach Your Goals and Why You Need This Particular Skill to Get Anything in Life

Podcast Description: In this episode, Melissa explores one of the most overlooked factors in achieving your goals: identifying what you're truly willing—and unwilling—to do to create the life you want. Whether you're building a business, pursuing a personal dream, improving your health, or stepping into a bigger version of yourself, there often comes a point where excitement fades and resistance takes over. Melissa shares a simple but powerful exercise that helps uncover the hidden beliefs, fears, and assumptions keeping you stuck. Drawing from her own journey as an entrepreneur and thought leader, she walks through how this practice helped her identify subconscious fears around burnout, visibility, and success, and how shifting those patterns created new momentum. If you've ever wondered why you keep getting in your own way despite knowing what your soul wants, this episode offers a way to look at what's happening beneath the surface and move forward with more intention. Listen If: * You have a goal that feels important but you can't seem to make progress on it * You start strong but lose momentum somewhere in the middle * You feel frustrated with yourself for procrastinating or staying stuck * You're navigating a career change, business growth, or personal transformation * You want to understand how fear, safety, and self-sabotage affect decision-making And…if you’re ready to explore a life of Aligned Success, Click here [https://calendly.com/melissacoloton/60-minute-consult/] to book a free 1-hour consultation with Melissa. This Episode Is For People Who: * Know there's something they want but can't figure out why they're hesitating * Are tired of setting goals that never seem to stick * Want to stop letting fear quietly run the show * Are building a business, pursuing a dream, or stepping into a new season of life * Want practical mindset tools without toxic positivity or hustle culture Resources To Help Get You Started: * Take my Quiz: Where Are You Abandoning Yourself? [https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68f58032d65eea001566992e] and receive a free 7-day targeted action plan to get started * My free 3-part “Introduction to Honoring Yourself” email series - get it here [https://melissacoloton-coaching-consulting.kit.com/990c04f424] The Honor You Course: If you're ready to take your next step toward aligned success, I'm excited to share that the self-paced version of The Honor You Lab i [https://melissacoloton.thrivecart.com/the-honor-you-lab-course/]s now open! The Honor You Lab is a 6‑week transformational reset designed for professionals who know there has to be a better way than burnout, survival, and autopilot success. Inside the Lab you’ll find structured audio lessons, activities, and prompts to help you develop a new internal framework that helps you reset, reconnect with yourself, and live life according to your needs, not external expectations. Let’s connect! Instagram: @melissa_coloton [https://www.instagram.com/melissa_coloton/] Website: melissacoloton.com/ [https://melissacoloton.com/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-coloton-coach/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/ [https://www.facebook.com/melissa.c.fernandes.50/] TikTok: @melissacoloton [https://www.tiktok.com/@melissacoloton] YouTube: @melissacolotonshow [https://www.youtube.com/@melissacolotonshow/] About The Honor You Podcast The Honor You Podcast explores personal growth, purpose, identity, and what it means to honor who you are becoming, without burnout, shame, or hustle culture. Hosted by Melissa Coloton, the show blends reflection, insight, and practical tools through the framework of The Honor You Method, offering grounded guidance for navigating transitions, leadership, and aligned decision-making. Each episode invites you to slow down, listen inward, and make intentional choices rooted in your values, your season, and your well-being. This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about honoring yourself, one aligned step at a time.