Ep. 17 Ali Pilling - the long journey of erotic discovery

19. Bear Phillips - Yes, Daddy! The appeal of Big little dynamics

We welcome Bear Phillips back to The Kinky Coffee Break for this episode on Big/little dynamics.    We cover quite some ground here, starting with what these dynamics are about and some of the common misconceptions around them. We discuss the benefits of age play for both the little and the Big, and what’s needed to support this kind of play in terms of skills, boundaries, and integration. I am very interested in this topic, so it was a delight to get into it with Bear.    Bear Phillips (he/ him) is a poly-sexual, polyamorous, and kinky-slut by night, and a trauma-informed bodyworker and a sex & love coach by day. In his coaching with men, he works with questions of masculinity and how patriarchy impacts our ability to have meaningful and authentic relationships. Bear has been involved in various forms of therapy and personal development for more than half his life, having recently completed the *Compassionate Inquiry Professional Training* with Gabor Maté.  Edited by Bear Phillips & Ellie Rose, “DADDY!” The Healing Power of Big/little Play: An Anthology. On the transformative potential of inner-child work, role-play and conscious kink, will be published in eBook and hardcopy formats on Friday 12th June 2026. You can find Bear at www.bearphillips.co.uk or substack: @bearphillips1 / bearphillips1.substack.com/. He’s also on IG: @bear_phillips / instagram.com/bear_phillips/ and FB: facebook.com/bearphillipsUK [http://facebook.com/bearphillipsUK].  You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels [https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels].

18. Finding belonging in leather with DK Green

I was definitely scratching an itch of my own curiosity this month when I invited DK Green to chat with me about the Leather Community!    DK gives us a peek into life as part of a leather family, including the dynamics and values that it's built around. From the subculture’s roots in gay community, we will hear what's changed and what's drawing a diverse range of people to leather today.    Pop the kettle on and buckle up for a lively and enticing conversation! DK Green (AKA DK Leather) has been the head of the UK KRuel Leather Family since the nineties, the first non-gay-male leather family in the UK. He’s a Master, Owner, Daddy, Leather dominant, and a respected and well known (notorious) speaker and educator in this field. He’s also a polyamorous, shamanic, trans man! Additionally he’s a respected/experienced Psychotherapist, supervisor, speaker, educator, author. Psychodynamic core integrative, holistic, national/international via Zoom. Serving GSRD communities (gender, sex, relationship diversities) aka LGBTQIA+, CNM (consensual non-monogamy), kink (BDSM/leather), tantra, sex work, & the intersectionalities of neurodiversity, disability/chronic illness, race & culture. Links: http://linktr.ee/dkleather [http://linktr.ee/dkleather] Email: daddyk67@gmail.com You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com [https://www.pleasurerebels.com] and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels [https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels]. For info on upcoming courses, workshops, and events, go to https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events [https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events]

Ep. 17 Ali Pilling - the long journey of erotic discovery

This month, I’m joined on the podcast by the sexy polymath that is Alison Pilling to talk about the long journey of erotic discovery.    Ali shares what’s been helpful, what got in the way, and what advice she would go back and give to her younger self.    This was such an affirming conversation that is full of helpful insights for those of you who are seeking to discover more about yourself through exploring sexuality, just as much as those of you who are already years into your journey!    Alison Pilling is the creator and host of The Sex Lectures, as well as a mentor and teacher on the UK Sexological Bodywork training. She lives in Corfu where she’s transforming a former yoga bnb into something much less wholesome.    Growing up in a repressed Catholic household has had a lot to answer for and Ali is as surprised as anyone to find herself in this groundbreaking field. The good news from the other side of an erotic exploration is that reclaiming and expanding sexual expression is possible. However tricky, heartbreaking or exciting, it’s ultimately an expansion of the self and soul.    Ali may speak for many of us in feeling like we sense there's more out there, but we aren’t sure what. Discovering erotic and personal freedom allows us to begin to know more of who we are, what we want and how to ask for it. How do we get to define, feel and express what we want for ourselves? Exploring the answers to these questions, taking a chance gives us a chance of building a life full of connection, courage and choice.   Check out Ali’s work at: https://sexschoolforgrownups.com/ [https://sexschoolforgrownups.com/] or find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alison.pilling.5 [https://www.facebook.com/alison.pilling.5]. The next Sex Lectures will be taking place on Monday 16th February in Manchester, UK and you can find details and tickets here: https://buytickets.at/sexschoolforgrownups/2009456 [https://buytickets.at/sexschoolforgrownups/2009456] (I’m on the lineup to give a talk about The Privilege of Love!)  You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com [https://www.pleasurerebels.com] and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels [https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels]. For info on the upcoming courses, Getting into Ethical Kink, and POWER & PRESENCE, go to https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events [https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events]

16. Christian Red - the most common issues in bondage

This month, we have our first returning guest on the podcast - Christian Red - to talk about the most common issues in bondage.    Shibari has exploded in popularity in recent years. And, whilst it’s great to see so many people exploring this as an art, form of intimacy, and technical challenge, it comes with some pretty significant risks that may not be obvious at first.    In true Christian style, this discussion - and the guide he has recently published on the topic - break the risks down in a way that is easy for even the most inexperienced kinkster to grasp. It’s a must-listen for anyone interested in bondage.    Christian is a rope/takedown teacher based in Nottingham who has been teaching since 2012. His focus as an educator is giving people tools and ideas to express themselves by breaking complex topics into simple ideas. Christian Red's involvement in the kink community has lasted 20 years so far. In recent years, he has taught at Prague Shibari, Athens Rope, Anatomie Studios, Rope On!, Rope Office Hours, String Fling, UKREX, and Oxford Peer Rope. He's also a regular guest teacher at The Kinky Classroom and will be running an Intro to Shibari ONLINE course starting 27th January 2026, which you can find at https://www.tickettailor.com/events/pleasurerebels/1987006 [https://www.tickettailor.com/events/pleasurerebels/1987006] or check out all upcoming events, courses, and workshops at https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events [https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events]    The free rope safety digital publication Knot Without Risk, which we reference throughout this episode is available in multiple languages: https://www.christian-red.co.uk/knotwithoutrisk [https://www.christian-red.co.uk/knotwithoutrisk]    In addition to this, Christian has also released over 100 rope video tutorials and has been a frequent contributor to the online platform Shibari Study. Check out the Bondage Tuition channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bondagetuition [https://www.youtube.com/@bondagetuition]   Christian Red’s first appearance on The Kinky Coffee Break podcast was Episode 7, in which we talk about censorship in our industry and the impact this has not only on educators and practitioners, but also on YOU!    If you can, make sure you support Christian to keep producing quality educational content via his Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BondageTuition [https://www.patreon.com/BondageTuition]    You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com [https://www.pleasurerebels.com] and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels [https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels].

15. The Wheel of Consent® and kink with Dr Betty Martin

This month, we are joined by the pioneer that is Dr Betty Martin as we explore The Wheel of Consent. Betty shares how The Wheel originated in kink, how it’s both simple and very much not simple in practice, how it can give us insights into what’s happening in relationships, and the impact other forms of power have on how we negotiate. AND we both share how The Wheel can be a helpful way in to exploring D/s and power play. If your understanding of consent is as permission seeking and granting, then hopefully this episode will open your eyes to some of the depth and nuance that is often overlooked in the conversation. Dr. Betty Martin has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years (some of it legal and some of it questionable) - 30 years of Chiropractic and other modalities, then later, 15 years of Somatic Sex Education and Surrogate Partner Therapy. Also Contact Improv and other kinds of play. She is the developer of the Wheel of Consent, a cutting edge model of receiving and giving, based on touch but amenable to non-touch practices as well. She is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent, and developed a 5-day training in the Wheel of Consent for practitioners, which took her around the world, and then trained others to teach it so she could retire. She currently mentors helping professionals, from psychotherapists to sex workers, and all stripes of hands-on practitioners. You can find Betty’s work (including plenty of FREE materials and her book) here: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/. For information on trainings related to the Wheel of Consent, visit the School of Consent: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/ You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.