Becoming The Mother They Remember

Learning to Listen to Your Body in Motherhood with Vaness Henry

So much of motherhood asks us to make decisions for another person. But how do we know when we’re responding to our child—and when we’re reacting from our own fear, conditioning, or past? In this episode, I’m joined by Vaness Henry, a Human Design guide and mother, to explore what it means to listen more closely to ourselves and our children. We talk about Human Design as a tool for understanding difference: why the way you use energy, respond to your environment, or care for your body may not be the way your child does. Vaness also shares how childhood cancer shaped her relationship with health and taught her to pay attention when something in her body changes. For me, this conversation brought up something very practical about motherhood: how easily we can mistake our own experience for our child’s. My daughter has always run much hotter than I do. When she was younger, I would insist she wear another layer because I felt cold—and because I was afraid she would get sick. I believed I was protecting her. But I was also asking her to ignore what her own body was telling her so that I could feel less anxious. That distinction matters. Key insights * Self-trust begins with noticing how your body communicates with you * Your child may experience energy, comfort, and environment very differently from you * Family patterns can be passed down through behaviour and beliefs, not only biology * Parenting with awareness means separating your child’s experience from your own fear If you often find yourself looking outside yourself for the right way to mother, this conversation offers another place to begin: recognizing what belongs to you, questioning your automatic reactions, and giving your child more room to stay connected to what they know about themselves. If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed. About our guest: Vaness Henry is a journalist, shamanic practitioner, and Human Design Variables guide who helps people listen to their bodies and understand the patterns shaping their health and lives. A cancer survivor, her work is rooted in lived experience and a grounded, intuitive approach to healing and transformation. About your host: Mandy Cai⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/] is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember] ⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠ [https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com/] ⁠Connect on Instagram⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenewschoolofmotherhood/] ⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书 [https://xhslink.com/m/AzK1OkRwUKW]

The Breastfeeding Conversation I Wish I Had Before Birth with Katie James

Breastfeeding is often treated as something that starts when your baby arrives. But what happens in birth, the support you receive afterward, and the beliefs you carry into motherhood all shape how that relationship begins. In this episode, I’m joined by midwife and lactation consultant Katie James to explore the connection between birth, breastfeeding, and the transition into motherhood. We talk about how interventions, separation after birth, skin-to-skin contact, and postpartum care can influence feeding in the early days. Katie shares why breastfeeding is more than nutrition. It is a relationship between mother and baby, built through responsiveness and connection. We also look at how formula marketing, social media, and pressure to recover quickly can leave women doubting themselves when feeding doesn’t unfold as expected. Birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum are deeply interconnected. When we miss that, many women blame their bodies. Often what was missing was support, information, and the conditions needed for breastfeeding to establish. Key insights * Birth and breastfeeding are linked physically, hormonally, and emotionally * Skin-to-skin and postpartum support shape early feeding * Breastfeeding is a relationship, not just milk * Challenges are often circumstantial, not personal failure * Partners matter because feeding is part of becoming a family Let this episode offer perspective rather than pressure. Whatever your feeding journey has looked like, you deserve compassion, not self-blame. If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠The Mother They Remember [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed. About our guest: Katie James is a midwife and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, andcreator of The Midwives’ Cauldron and The Latch Revolution podcasts. With 25years’ clinical experience, she is known for her warm, evidence-based approach tobreastfeeding and early feeding education. Join her breastfeeding online course: https://www.katiejames.site/ [https://www.katiejames.site/] Follow her on Instagram @katiejameslactation [https://www.instagram.com/katiejameslactation/] Listen to The Latch Revolution Podcast: https://www.thelatchrevolution.com/ [https://www.thelatchrevolution.com/] About your host: Mandy Cai⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/] is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember] ⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠ [https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com/] ⁠Connect on Instagram⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenewschoolofmotherhood/] ⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书 [https://xhslink.com/m/AzK1OkRwUKW]

Becoming The Mother They Remember

What does it actually take to become a great mother, not in performance, but in presence? In this episode, I share a personal story of early separation, and why so many of us enter motherhood led by fear and “trying not to get it wrong”. We explore what changes when you get clear on who you want to become, and you start making choices from trust instead. We talk about: * my experience of being sent to a boarding preschool from age 2.5 to 7, and the imprint of separation * why knowing what you do not want is not the same as knowing what you want * how fear-based clarity creates pressure, and trust-based clarity creates choice * the real legacy your children remember: how they felt around you, not what you bought or achieved * why becoming a great mother requires honesty, tradeoffs, and inner growth (not perfection) ⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠ [https://www.thelatchrevolution.com/] About your host: ⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/] is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember] ⁠⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠ [https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com/] ⁠⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenewschoolofmotherhood/] ⁠⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书 [https://xhslink.com/m/AzK1OkRwUKW]

How to Stay Connected as Your Children Grow with Orna Sharon

So much of early motherhood can feel like second-guessing yourself. Am I responding the right way? Am I being too soft? Too harsh? Am I creating the kind of relationship I want with my child?But beneath all of those questions is something deeper; learning how to become a safe place for your children while still staying connected to yourself. In this episode, I’m joined by Orna Sharon, a mother of three adult children, to talk about what motherhood looks like over the long term. We explore how trust is built slowly through everyday interactions, why honesty matters in parent-child relationships, and what it actually means to be emotionally safe for your children without abandoning boundaries or authority. Orna speaks candidly about raising children through different stages of life, navigating divorce, balancing work and motherhood in ways that felt right for her, and learning over time, when her children needed guidance and when they simply needed her to listen. One topic we return to throughout this conversation is how much the small moments matter. How you respond when your child spills something or makes a mistake. Whether they feel safe telling you the truth. Whether repair is possible after conflict. Whether your love still feels available when boundaries are necessary. These moments shape the relationship your child learns they can have with you. Not only when life feels easy, but when they are struggling, ashamed, overwhelmed, or unsure. Key insights * Your child does not need perfection to feel secure * Emotional safety and boundaries can exist together * Honesty builds trust over time * Motherhood changes as your children grow, but your presence still matters * There is no single right way to navigate work, family, and selfhood This conversation reminds you that motherhood is built in repetition, not perfection. In the way you respond. In the way you repair. And in the way your child learns they can keep coming back to you. ⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]The Mother They Remember [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thelatchrevolution.com/]⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember] About our guest: Orna Sharon is the mother of three adult children (ages 21–30), to whom she devoted most of her time as a caregiver. Currently based in New York City, she previously worked as a growth consultant and angel investor, with a background in international business and finance. Follow her on Linkedin [https://www.linkedin.com/in/orna-sharon/] About your host: ⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/]About your host: ⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/]Mandy Cai [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/]⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/] is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember] Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember] Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ [https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com/] Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenewschoolofmotherhood/] ⁠⁠⁠ [https://xhslink.com/m/AzK1OkRwUKW] Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠ [https://xhslink.com/m/AzK1OkRwUKW] This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio [https://www.six-two.studio/]

The Power of Perspective: Lessons from Zarina Lam Stanford

Balancing career and motherhood can feel like you’re always behind in one or the other. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because the idea of “balance” often doesn’t hold in early motherhood. In this episode, we look more closely at what balance actually looks like when you’re raising a child and working. Zarina shares her experience of returning to work five weeks after birth, and the beliefs that informed that decision. Zarina and I explore how our relationship with our own mothers shapes how we approach work, responsibility, and motherhood, often without us realizing. We talk about the pressure to be present at home and committed at work, and what happens when those expectations sit side by side. And we look at the reality that balance isn’t something you achieve in a day, it shifts across seasons, depending on what your life is asking of you. If you’ve felt split between your work and your child. If you’ve questioned whether you’re doing enough in either place. Or if making decisions about work feels heavier than it used to, this isn’t just about managing your time better. It’s about the expectations you’re holding, where they came from, and whether they still make sense for the life you’re in now. Because when those expectations go unquestioned, it can feel like you’re constantly choosing one part of yourself at the expense of another. Key insights * Balance doesn’t happen within a day—it changes across seasons * Your approach to work is often shaped by what you saw growing up * Guilt can come from trying to meet two competing standards at once * What worked before motherhood may not work in the same way now * Defining success for yourself changes the decisions you make ⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]The Mother They Remember [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember]⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thelatchrevolution.com/] About our guest: A global citizen, an avid traveler, a proud daughter and mom, Zarina Lam Stanford is a recognized growth catalyst and a strategic advisor and investor for technology-based start-up and steady-state businesses in the US, Asia, and UK.  Zarina is passionate about design thinking, compelling storytelling, agile leadership, inclusion, and being purpose driven.   Follow Zarina on Linkedin [https://www.linkedin.com/in/zarina-l-stanford-132403] About your host: About your host: ⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/]Mandy Cai [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/]⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandycai521/] is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember] Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com/remember] ⁠⁠⁠ [https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com/] Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ [https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com/] ⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenewschoolofmotherhood/] Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thenewschoolofmotherhood/] ⁠⁠⁠ [https://xhslink.com/m/AzK1OkRwUKW] Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠ [https://xhslink.com/m/AzK1OkRwUKW] This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio [https://www.six-two.studio/]