The Off White Podcast

Fighting Nice

44 min · 15 jan 2026
aflevering Fighting Nice artwork

Beschrijving

It's Season 2 with the start of 2025! Angie, Scott and Shane talk about the difference in fighting to be right, versus fighting for a common resolution (fighting nice). We all want to be heard in argument and dispute, but do we sometimes allow our own voice and desires to cloud our judgement for what is genuinely right? Do we make it harder for folks to open up to us? Do we fight like we are in court? Is there a way to share your feelings and still be open to hear the other party? We've all been here. This is a skill to be developed and practiced consistently in an effort to have strong and healthy communication patterns with others in our lives.

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aflevering Anger - Why do we hold onto it? artwork

Anger - Why do we hold onto it?

After divorce, many people find themselves asking a confusing question: “I’m not an angry person… so why does my temper feel louder now?” In this episode of the Off White Podcast, we explore anger not as a character flaw, but as a form of communication—especially in the aftermath of relational rupture. Drawing from the perspective of Marriage and Family Therapy, we unpack why anger often surfaces after divorce and what it may actually be protecting. We discuss how anger frequently acts as a secondary emotion, shielding deeper feelings like grief, fear, and shame. Through conversations about attachment wounds, relational trauma, and nervous system responses, we explore why emotional reactions can feel more intense after a relationship ends—even when the divorce was the right decision. We also examine the cultural and relational dynamics that shape how people express anger, including gender expectations and the roles people were allowed to play within their marriages. Rather than trying to eliminate anger, this episode reframes healing as learning to listen to what anger is trying to tell us—developing awareness, boundaries, and healthier ways of responding. If you’ve ever wondered why your reactions feel different after divorce, this conversation invites you to approach anger with curiosity instead of shame.

15 mrt 202636 min