Ep. 171 Why Knowing Your Patterns Isn't Enough to Change Them

Ep. 171 Why Knowing Your Patterns Isn't Enough to Change Them

You've done the therapy. You've read the books. You can name your patterns, trace them back to childhood, and explain exactly why you do what you do. And you're still doing it. If any of that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Today I'm answering five listener questions. What I didn't realize until I recorded is that all of them are really asking the same thing: why doesn't knowing something actually change it? Turns out, the gap between knowing and doing isn't an information problem. It's a thought problem, and that changes everything about how you approach it. Questions answered in this episode: * I've been in therapy for years and I know all my patterns. But knowing them doesn't seem to change them. What am I missing? * How do I rebuild trust with myself after I've broken a promise to myself so many times that I've stopped believing I'll follow through? * I'm successful by every external measure but I feel like a fraud. I keep waiting for someone to figure out that I don't actually know what I'm doing. Is this ever going to go away? * How do you actually rest without feeling lazy? I can't seem to turn off the part of my brain that thinks I should be doing something. * I know what I want. I even know what I need to do. But I just...don't do it. Whyyyyyy? If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please follow, rate, and review Unblocked. It helps more people find these conversations and keeps this work going. RESOURCES: * Order my #1 New Release book In Pursuit [https://www.amazon.com/Pursuit-After-Alive-Aligned-Fully-ebook/dp/B0FR2QK8XP/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S9SOXI5PJOXM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.xv5hTCXuQkLmRPIxWEu-EA.Uj6CH7EVsb2TXJj0WoYr4FoLedMK5hfWWIl29RHdvcI&dib_tag=se&keywords=in+pursuit+jessica+smarro&qid=1758646954&sprefix=jessica+smarro%2Caps%2C144&sr=8-1#averageCustomerReviewsAnchor]  * Get your complimentary copy of The Unblocked Journal  [https://jessicasmarrocoaching.com/unblocked-journal]to help bring awareness to perfectionist thinking and what it's creating in your life. * Join My Do The Thing Community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/getunblocked] - join the group and drop your questions from the pod WANT MORE SUPPORT? If this episode resonated with you and you want deeper, personalized support, you can learn more about working with me at jessicasmarro.com [https://jessicasmarro.com/] STAY CONNECTED: * Follow me on Facebook & Instagram: @jessicasmarro * Share this episode and tag me with what landed for you Let's Get Unblocked!

Ep. 170 Ask Me Anything: Big Dreams, Self-Doubt, and Why Wanting More Doesn't Make You Ungrateful

You submitted your questions. I answered them honestly. This is a full Ask Me Anything episode, and we went there. From how I distinguish fear from intuition, to the mindset trap I still fall into, to the question I think a lot of high-achievers are too afraid to ask out loud: if my life is already good, why do I still want more? If you've ever felt guilty for having big dreams, or wondered if something is wrong with you for not feeling satisfied, this episode is going to hit. Questions answered in this episode: * What's something you've changed your mind about in the last five years? * How do you know when it's intuition, fear, ego, or just a really convincing thought? * What's a mindset trap you still catch yourself falling into? * How do you pursue big dreams without becoming obsessed with achievement? * If someone feels stuck but can't identify what's actually blocking them, where should they start? * What's one belief you had to let go of to create the life you have today? * What do you do when you know what you want but you're terrified of what other people will think? * If my life is already good, why do I still feel called to want more? If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please follow, rate, and review Unblocked. It helps more people find these conversations and keeps this work going. RESOURCES: * Order my #1 New Release book In Pursuit [https://www.amazon.com/Pursuit-After-Alive-Aligned-Fully-ebook/dp/B0FR2QK8XP/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S9SOXI5PJOXM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.xv5hTCXuQkLmRPIxWEu-EA.Uj6CH7EVsb2TXJj0WoYr4FoLedMK5hfWWIl29RHdvcI&dib_tag=se&keywords=in+pursuit+jessica+smarro&qid=1758646954&sprefix=jessica+smarro%2Caps%2C144&sr=8-1#averageCustomerReviewsAnchor]  * Get your complimentary copy of The Unblocked Journal  [https://jessicasmarrocoaching.com/unblocked-journal]to help bring awareness to perfectionist thinking and what it's creating in your life. * Join My Do The Thing Community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/getunblocked] - join the group and drop your questions from the pod WANT MORE SUPPORT? If this episode resonated with you and you want deeper, personalized support, you can learn more about working with me at jessicasmarro.com [https://jessicasmarro.com/] STAY CONNECTED: * Follow me on Facebook & Instagram: @jessicasmarro * Share this episode and tag me with what landed for you Let's Get Unblocked!

Ep. 169 Freedom From Disappointment

I have a rule: if somebody's going to be disappointed by my decisions, let it not be me. In this episode, I'm talking about one of the most common reasons smart, capable people hold back — the fear of being disappointed. Aka, a feeling. Protecting yourself from disappointment doesn't actually protect you. It just moves the disappointment earlier. You're already deciding you can't have what you want. In this episode I cover: * Why "lowering your goal so you're not disappointed" is still disappointing yourself * The real questions to ask when you're holding back * My SPACE framework for actually feeling your feelings  * The thought work piece * Why "having your back" is one of the most strategic things you can do If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please follow, rate, and review Unblocked. It helps more people find these conversations and keeps this work going. RESOURCES: * Order my #1 New Release book In Pursuit [https://www.amazon.com/Pursuit-After-Alive-Aligned-Fully-ebook/dp/B0FR2QK8XP/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S9SOXI5PJOXM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.xv5hTCXuQkLmRPIxWEu-EA.Uj6CH7EVsb2TXJj0WoYr4FoLedMK5hfWWIl29RHdvcI&dib_tag=se&keywords=in+pursuit+jessica+smarro&qid=1758646954&sprefix=jessica+smarro%2Caps%2C144&sr=8-1#averageCustomerReviewsAnchor] (chapter 6 goes in depth on emotional freedom) * Click here [https://jessicasmarrocoaching.com/free-the-feelings] for the Free the Feelings video and worksheets I mentioned * Get your complimentary copy of The Unblocked Journal  [https://jessicasmarrocoaching.com/unblocked-journal]to help bring awareness to perfectionist thinking and what it's creating in your life. * Join My Do The Thing Community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/getunblocked] - join the group and drop your questions from the pod WANT MORE SUPPORT? If this episode resonated with you and you want deeper, personalized support, you can learn more about working with me at jessicasmarro.com [https://jessicasmarro.com/] STAY CONNECTED: * Follow me on Facebook & Instagram: @jessicasmarro * Share this episode and tag me with what landed for you Let's Get Unblocked!

Ep. 168 What Comparison is Actually Trying to Tell You

You're watching someone else do the thing you want to do, and they're doing it better than you. So your brain, being your brain, lands on "well, that must mean I suck." In this episode, I unpack why comparison doesn't have to mean what you think it means and why "they're better than me" doesn't have to end with "so I'm terrible." In this episode you'll hear my personal example plus the client conversation that sparked the whole episode. What you'll take away: * Why someone being better at something than you doesn't mean you're not good * How to use comparison as data instead of a problem * The question to ask yourself before you go looking for what they do better * Why zero-sum thinking tanks your growth If comparison tends to put you in a spiral, this one's for you. If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please follow, rate, and review Unblocked. It helps more people find these conversations and keeps this work going. RESOURCES: * Order my #1 New Release book In Pursuit [https://www.amazon.com/Pursuit-After-Alive-Aligned-Fully-ebook/dp/B0FR2QK8XP/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S9SOXI5PJOXM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.xv5hTCXuQkLmRPIxWEu-EA.Uj6CH7EVsb2TXJj0WoYr4FoLedMK5hfWWIl29RHdvcI&dib_tag=se&keywords=in+pursuit+jessica+smarro&qid=1758646954&sprefix=jessica+smarro%2Caps%2C144&sr=8-1#averageCustomerReviewsAnchor] * Get your complimentary copy of The Unblocked Journal  [https://jessicasmarrocoaching.com/unblocked-journal]to help bring awareness to perfectionist thinking and what it's creating in your life. * Join My Do The Thing Community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/getunblocked]  WANT MORE SUPPORT? If this episode resonated with you and you want deeper, personalized support, you can learn more about working with me at jessicasmarro.com [https://jessicasmarro.com/] STAY CONNECTED: * Follow me on Facebook & Instagram: @jessicasmarro * Share this episode and tag me with what landed for you Let's Get Unblocked!

Ep. 167 We Were in Rachel Hollis's Room. Here's What We Actually Took Home.

A few weeks ago, my guest and I were in the same room in Austin for Rachel Hollis's Rise Elevate conference. Today we're unpacking what actually happened including the honest parts that not every would say out loud. This is a real conversation between two women who showed up nervous, got cracked open, and came home with more than they expected.  IN THIS EPISODE: * What it actually feels like to walk into a room full of strangers and try to be brave...even when you're a confident, high-achieving woman * The writing exercise that created an aha moment * Why Rachel pricing drama is one of the most relatable things she shared from stage and what it means for every woman who's ever undercharged * "There are no fairy godmothers," Asia's keynote philosophy and the 2026 goal she called out loud * What actually keeps the conference magic alive after you go home -- It's less sexy than you think * "Something doesn't have to be wrong for it to not be right for you" -- a note on outgrowing rooms, relationships, and containers If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please follow, rate, and review Unblocked. It helps more people find these conversations and keeps this work going. RESOURCES: * Order my #1 New Release book In Pursuit [https://www.amazon.com/Pursuit-After-Alive-Aligned-Fully-ebook/dp/B0FR2QK8XP/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S9SOXI5PJOXM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.xv5hTCXuQkLmRPIxWEu-EA.Uj6CH7EVsb2TXJj0WoYr4FoLedMK5hfWWIl29RHdvcI&dib_tag=se&keywords=in+pursuit+jessica+smarro&qid=1758646954&sprefix=jessica+smarro%2Caps%2C144&sr=8-1#averageCustomerReviewsAnchor] * Get your complimentary copy of The Unblocked Journal  [https://jessicasmarrocoaching.com/unblocked-journal]to help bring awareness to perfectionist thinking and what it's creating in your life. * Join My Do The Thing Community [https://www.facebook.com/groups/getunblocked]  WANT MORE SUPPORT? If this episode resonated with you and you want deeper, personalized support, you can learn more about working with me at jessicasmarro.com [https://jessicasmarro.com/] STAY CONNECTED: * Follow me on Facebook & Instagram: @jessicasmarro * Share this episode and tag me with what landed for you ABOUT ASIA GENTRY Asia Gentry is a speaker and resilience advocate whose keynote, There Are No Fairy Godmothers, is about doing the hard thing without waiting to be rescued. Find her on Instagram: @as.told.by.asia Let's Get Unblocked!