Why men feel lost today Ft. Ben

Why men feel lost today Ft. Ben

Episode Summary Many men today aren't lacking ambition. They're lacking guidance. In this episode of We Take the Stairs, Ben shares his deeply personal journey through military service, devastating loss, depression, and ultimately discovering purpose through faith. After losing his sister to suicide and carrying the weight of guilt for years, Ben opens up about how those experiences shaped his understanding of masculinity, leadership, relationships, and identity. Together, we explore why so many young men feel lost, the importance of finding healthy mentors, what biblical leadership actually looks like, and how intentional communication can transform marriage. Ben also shares practical wisdom on overcoming a savior complex, building emotional resilience, setting healthy boundaries, and trusting God through life's hardest seasons. Whether you're searching for purpose, navigating grief, strengthening your marriage, or simply trying to become a better man, this conversation offers honest insight, biblical truth, and practical encouragement for the journey. GUEST Ben is a former military medic, entrepreneur, and devoted husband who is passionate about helping men discover their identity, purpose, and calling through biblical truth. Drawing from his own experiences with grief, depression, family trauma, and personal growth, Ben shares practical wisdom on healthy masculinity, leadership, communication, and building Christ-centered relationships. CHAPTERS 00:00 – Ben's Story of Loss and Hope 02:34 – Can Women Truly Reach Men? 06:10 – Marriage, Emotions, and Healthy Communication 11:46 – The Biggest Challenge Facing Men Today 14:22 – Looking for Mentors in the Wrong Places 18:23 – Losing His Sister to Suicide 22:46 – Finding Community Through Church 24:25 – The Lies Men Believe About Themselves 26:05 – Why He Didn't Want to Get Married 31:23 – Healing From Family Wounds 39:44 – The Savior Complex Many Men Carry 42:38 – Building Emotional Trust in Marriage 47:52 – What Healthy Communication Looks Like 54:24 – Learning Marriage From Healthy Leadership 56:40 – What It Means to Lead as a Husband 01:01:10 – Love vs. Manipulation 01:10:00 – Honest Conversations About Attraction and Lust 01:16:02 – Leading Through Intentionality 01:17:35 – Why Bad Experiences Become Your Greatest Strength 01:20:50 – Why Ben Finally Shared His Story KEY TOPICS COVERED The Identity Crisis Facing Men – Why so many young men struggle to find healthy role models and what true biblical masculinity looks like. Healing Through Hardship – How grief, depression, and family trauma became the foundation for deeper purpose instead of lifelong pain. The Savior Complex – Why many men feel responsible for carrying everyone's burdens and how to break free from unhealthy responsibility. Healthy Marriage and Leadership – Practical lessons on communication, emotional intelligence, servant leadership, and building trust in marriage. Boundaries and Emotional Maturity – Why loving people doesn't mean sacrificing yourself and how healthy boundaries create stronger relationships. Faith Through Suffering – How God uses life's hardest moments to shape character, deepen faith, and prepare us to help others. Finding Purpose in Your Pain – Why your greatest struggles may become your greatest opportunity to encourage someone else. Leading With Intentionality – How small, consistent acts of love, honesty, and service build lasting relationships and stronger families.

The One Thing Every Man Is Missing: Ft. Marc Feinberg

Episode Description Most men aren't struggling because they lack talent, ambition, or opportunity. They're struggling because they're living without wisdom. According to Mark, that missing foundation quietly fuels broken relationships, addiction, poor decisions, and lives filled with regret.In this episode of We Take the Stairs, Mark shares how decades of addiction, pain, and personal transformation led him to discover that wisdom is life's greatest pursuit. Drawing from Scripture, coaching experience, and his own redemption story, he explains why success without wisdom eventually falls apart, and why lasting change begins by surrendering to God's design.Together, we explore why men chase temporary solutions instead of lasting fulfillment, how identity shapes purpose, why forgiveness is essential for freedom, and what practical daily habits help build a life rooted in truth. Mark also opens up about overcoming addiction, rebuilding after failure, and finding hope through faith. Whether you're searching for purpose, navigating hardship, or simply wanting to become a wiser husband, father, leader, or friend, this conversation offers timeless biblical principles and practical guidance for living with greater clarity, courage, and intention. Guest Mark is a biblical life coach, high performance coach, speaker, and mentor who helps entrepreneurs, athletes, and men discover purpose through biblical wisdom. Having overcome decades of addiction and personal hardship, he combines Scripture, practical coaching, and lived experience to help others build lives rooted in truth, freedom, and lasting transformation. Website: https://marcfeinberg.com/ Chapters 00:00 — The Biggest Problem Facing Men Today 00:55 — Why Wisdom Is More Valuable Than Success 04:28 — How Culture Pulls Men Away from Truth 08:52 — Coaching Men Through Purpose and Identity 13:02 — Why Smart People Still Make Foolish Decisions 17:41 — God's Purpose for Every Man 22:19 — Growing Up Without Strong Male Leadership 26:38 — The Prodigal Son and Returning Home 31:07 — Finding God's Hand in Every Season 35:22 — Breaking Free from Addiction 39:31 — Understanding Christianity Beyond Religion 43:55 — Using the Bible as a Practical Guide for Life 48:11 — Winning the Daily Battle Against Lies 51:58 — Building Daily Habits That Transform Your Life 56:12 — Forgiveness, Freedom, and Moving Forward Key Topics Covered Wisdom as the Foundation – Why wisdom, not intelligence or success, determines the quality of a man's decisions, relationships, and future. Identity Before Purpose – How understanding who you are creates clarity, confidence, and direction in every season of life. The Hidden Cost of Addiction – Why addictions often mask deeper emotional and spiritual wounds, and what true healing requires. Learning Through Pain – How hardship, failure, and brokenness can become the greatest catalysts for personal growth and spiritual maturity. The Power of Forgiveness – Why letting go of resentment brings freedom, healing, and healthier relationships. Biblical Wisdom for Everyday Life – How Scripture provides practical guidance for leadership, marriage, parenting, work, and daily decision making. Daily Habits That Create Lasting Change – The simple disciplines that help men grow in faith, develop wisdom, and remain grounded through life's challenges. Hope Through Redemption – Mark's personal journey from addiction to transformation reminds us that no past mistake is too great for God's grace, and that every man has the opportunity to begin again.

Your Brain Was Wired for Purpose | Ft. Lance

Episode Summary Most men aren't burned out, checked out, or broken — they're purposeless. And according to Lance, a licensed therapist, pastor, and addiction counselor who has sat across from thousands of men in crisis, that one missing thing is the root of nearly every problem men are facing today. What makes this episode unlike anything We Take the Stairs has recorded is the lens Lance brings. He speaks as a clinician, a pastor, a divorced man who rebuilt, and someone who has mapped the male crisis from every angle — neuroscience, scripture, and lived experience. He connects the dots between why men disengage in marriage, why addiction spikes at retirement, why the brain literally wires itself toward purpose, and why a man without meaning will find something — anything — to fill that void. The science and the scripture point to the same answer. This episode is that answer. Guest Lance — Licensed therapist, pastor, addiction counselor, and clinical professional based in South Florida. Lance runs a private practice, works in addiction recovery, and brings a rare combination of neuroscience, faith, and lived experience to every conversation about men. Chapters * 00:00 — The One Question: Meaning and Purpose * 01:31 — Why Men Check Out After Work — And What's Really Going On * 04:09 — Protect, Pray, Provide — Why That's No Longer Enough * 11:43 — The Neuroscience of Purpose: Grid Cells, Flow States & Your Hot Spot * 13:49 — Who Moved My Cheese: How Meaning Shifts Through Life Stages * 16:20 — The Empty Nester, the Retiree & Why Addiction Spikes at 65 * 18:00 — Why the Church Is Actually Built for Every Stage of Life * 20:18 — The Role of Mentors & Why God Puts the Right People on Your Path * 25:06 — The Manosphere, Broken Systems & God's Design for Men * 32:02 — The Neuroscience of Social Media & Why We're More Disconnected Than Ever * 44:25 — Lance's Personal Story: Seminary, Loss & Finding Purpose Through Crisis * 55:28 — What Is a Crisis? Real Stories of Men Who Lost Everything * 01:03:47 — How to Navigate Crisis: Get to a Church, Find Community, Ask for Help * 01:11:39 — Three Practical Steps to Rewire Your Brain Toward Real Connection * 01:15:51 — The REACH Method: A Clinical & Biblical Framework for Forgiveness * 01:30:00 — We Takes: Crisis Isn't the End — It's the Catalyst Key Topics Covered * Meaning and Purpose as the Root Problem — Lance doesn't start with behavior. He starts with the existential question every man is quietly asking: Why am I here? Do I matter? Is what I'm doing enough? Every other crisis — disconnection, addiction, disengagement in marriage — is downstream of this one unanswered question. * Why Men Check Out After Work — A man who comes home and unplugs isn't being passive out of laziness. He's been reduced to a role — protect, pray, provide — and he's fulfilled it. Nobody told him that wasn't enough. Lance unpacks why this creates a silent, growing disconnect in marriages and what both spouses can actually do about it. * The Neuroscience of Purpose — One of the most unique moments in We Take the Stairs history. Lance breaks down what happens in the brain when a man finds his purpose — grid cells, place cells, the entorhinal cortex, and the state of flow. Your brain is literally wired to detect when you're on course. Purpose isn't mystical. It's neurological. * Who Moved My Cheese — Meaning Shifts Across Life Stages — Lance references Dr. Spencer Johnson's framework to map how what gives a man meaning changes at every stage: his 20s, his 30s, the empty nest, retirement. Men who don't know their meaning is shifting often collapse — or numb themselves — without knowing why. * Why Addiction Spikes in Retirement — One of the most surprising and sobering moments of the episode. Lance shares that one of the top reasons men develop addiction later in life is having nothing left to do. Bills paid. Kids gone. No purpose. And suddenly a drink at the country club becomes a daily ritual of slowly disappearing. * The Church as a Lifelong Framework — Lance and Rachael land on something that rarely gets said clearly: the church, when it functions as designed, is the only institution that meets men at every stage of life — from formation in youth to mentorship in old age. The design is right. The execution is what varies. * Community Dating — Lance advocates for dating in community — group dates, letting trusted people weigh in, watching how a potential spouse interacts with people who matter to you. The best marriages he's seen were built on more than two people deciding in isolation. * Crisis as a Catalyst — The closing of the episode reframes everything. A crisis — a lost job, a broken marriage, a failed season — isn't the end of who you are. For men who know their identity, it becomes the very thing that pushes them further into their purpose. Scriptures & Concepts Referenced * Erikson's Eight Stages of Identity Formation * Romans 8:28 — All things work together for good * The neuroscience of flow states and purpose alignment * Who Moved My Cheese — Dr. Spencer Johnson Key Quotes "Meaning and purpose — that's at the core of what men are facing. Everything else is a manifestation." — Lance "You may be tired, but you will not ever feel empty. When you're doing what you're supposed to do, it feeds you." — Lance "Finding your purpose is like finding your hot spot. When you're there, you know it — neurologically and intuitively." — Lance "Our role has been reduced to protect, pray and provide. And if I've done that, why are you trying to talk to me after a 16-hour day?" — Lance "What are you creating that's bigger than what you two can do individually? That's what keeps people together." — Lance "Men are so much more than what we provide monetarily. We matter emotionally. We matter relationally." — Lance "Crisis doesn't have to be the fall of who you are. It can be the very thing that brings you further into your purpose." — Jackson Practical Takeaways * Name what your current "cheese" is — what gives you meaning right now at this stage of life * Build something in your marriage that's bigger than any argument the two of you could have * Date in community — let trusted people weigh in before you commit About This Series Each episode, one man. One question. The answers are already revealing a pattern. If you're a man with something to say — we want to hear it. SEO Keywords Primary Keywords * Christian podcast for men * men and lack of purpose * male identity crisis meaning * men's mental health podcast * biblical manhood and purpose Secondary Keywords * why men disengage in marriage * neuroscience of purpose and flow * men and addiction recovery faith * meaning shifts across life stages * men checking out after work * protect pray provide not enough * community dating relationships * empty nester addiction men * church and male purpose * therapist pastor men identity Long-Tail Keywords * why do men feel empty even when successful * what does the brain do when a man has purpose * how lack of meaning causes men to disengage in marriage * why men develop addiction after retirement * Christian therapist on men's identity and purpose * how to build a marriage around mission not just love * what is community dating and why it matters * neuroscience of purpose and why men need meaning * how crisis can become a catalyst for a man's identity * men's podcast about meaning purpose and mental health

The War for Every Man's Identity | FT. Joshua

We ask one question to every man who sits down with us: What is the biggest problem men are facing in society based on your experience and perspective? For Joshua — former Marine, 14-year firefighter, and founder of Journey to Jericho — the answer came without hesitation: identity crisis. Not knowing who we are when God calls us sons. Living like orphans instead of children who are fully adopted, fully gifted, fully loved. This episode, recorded with Joshua joining from his hot rod shop in Columbia, Tennessee, is one of the most spiritually rich and tactically practical conversations We Take the Stairs has had. Joshua doesn't just talk theology. He runs a literal shop where fatherless young men learn to weld, grind, and turn wrenches — while quietly, patiently, being shown what an authentic man actually looks like. His own story, marked by a broken home and one Vietnam veteran named Ray who changed everything in six Saturdays, grounds everything he teaches. Guest Joshua — Founder of Journey to Jericho, a mentorship ministry based in Columbia, Tennessee, that uses a hot rod shop to build relationships with fatherless young men. A former Marine and 14-year firefighter, Joshua left a stable career and moved his family across the country in obedience to what he believed God was calling him to do. Chapters 00:00 — The One Question: Identity Crisis 03:30 — The Three P's: Power, Productivity, Prosperity 09:00 — Journey to Jericho: The Hot Rod Shop With a Deeper Mission 16:00 — Ray: The Man Who Changed Everything in Six Saturdays 23:00 — Hitting Rock Bottom at 30 — and the Prayer That Changed His Life 33:00 — Friend, Mirror, Minister: How Real Mentorship Works 39:00 — The Lamb and the Lion: Redefining What a Husband Is For 46:00 — Testimony: A Family Restored Through One Small Act of Showing Up 58:00 — The Traps Keeping Men Stuck — Power, Comfort & Noise 01:06:00 — Leaving Comfort: The Move to Tennessee & the Church That Pushed Back Key Topics Covered Identity Crisis — Joshua's answer cuts to the foundation: men were never meant to live as orphans, figuring it out alone, when they've actually been adopted as sons. Everything else — power, productivity, prosperity — is built on this one cornerstone. The Three P's — Power, productivity, prosperity. Joshua names the worldly substitutes men chase instead of sonship, and why even the richest men he's met are often the most miserable. Ray: The First Real Man — Joshua's foundational story. A Vietnam Marine who watched him and his brother for six Saturdays, taught him to weld, and modeled something Joshua had never seen — honoring his wife as his prize. That moment became the question Joshua chased for the next twenty years. The 30th Birthday Breaking Point — After years of performing discipline without a changed heart, Joshua hit bottom and cried out to God to either kill him or change him. That surrender — not effort — was the beginning of real transformation. Friend, Mirror, Minister — Joshua's framework for mentoring young men: build trust as a friend, reflect Christ's light as a mirror, then minister from that place of earned trust. Skip a step and the whole thing breaks down. The Lamb and the Lion — One of the most theologically rich moments of the episode. The Jews wanted a warrior king. They got a sacrificial lamb. Joshua applies this directly to husbands: leadership through sacrifice, not domination. A Family Restored — Joshua shares the story of a mother and two adult children, each carrying wounds from church hurt, slowly restored through nine months of simply showing up — no agenda, no lectures, just consistent presence. Comfort as the Enemy — When Joshua left a stable 14-year firefighting career to move his family to a town he'd never visited, the harshest pushback came from fellow believers. Joshua's takeaway: comfort had become their idol, and his obedience exposed it. Books Referenced 📖 Wild at Heart — John Eldredge — "I want to be rather than to appear." Key Quotes "If I am his son, I no longer have to live as an orphan. I no longer have to figure it out on my own." — Joshua "It's not what they do, but it's who they are." — Joshua "Identity found in anything other than Christ is absolutely futile." — Joshua "Comfort is one of our worst enemies. Enjoy it while you got it. Do not let it become your god." — Joshua "A generation will grow great when old men are willing to plant trees they will never sit under." — Joshua "A son cannot give what he has not received." — Joshua Practical Takeaways Ask God ten thousand questions instead of relying on your own wisdom.Invite one young man for a cup of coffee — that's a touch point, not a small thing. Take the tactical pause. Stop, ask the Father who he says you are, and let him answer. Christian podcast for men male identity crisis faith biblical sonship and identity men's mentorship ministry Christian men's podcast fatherless generation

HOW MEN BECOME UNSHAKABLE

James and Madison never expected a single call to change their family's future. After their son received a rare diagnosis, they faced uncertainty, fear, and challenges no parent wants to endure. But this conversation is less about the diagnosis and more about the resilience, faith, and strength they developed through it. In this episode of We Take The Stairs, Rachel and Jackson sit down with James and Madison to discuss raising boys in today's culture, navigating adversity as a family, and the lessons that helped them grow stronger through life's hardest seasons. This is a conversation about resilience, responsibility, and becoming the kind of person who stays steady when life gets difficult. Because strength is built through adversity. FULL SUMMARY What does it take to become unshakable? In this episode of We Take The Stairs, Rachel and Jackson sit down with James and Madison to discuss resilience, faith, marriage, family, and the challenges facing men today. They explore why many young men struggle with purpose and responsibility, why challenge and accountability are essential for growth, and what it takes to raise strong children in today's culture. The conversation becomes deeply personal as they share their son's diagnosis with MED13L Syndrome, a rare genetic condition affecting development, speech, and cognition. More importantly, they reflect on how adversity strengthened their faith, revealed hidden strengths, and shaped them as individuals, parents, and partners. Together, they discuss leadership in the home, the importance of partnership, and how responsibility, gratitude, and perseverance build stronger people, marriages, and families. This episode is a powerful reminder that strength is built through adversity, and that life's hardest seasons often become the greatest opportunities for growth. KEY TAKEAWAYS • Resilience is built through hardship, responsibility, and action. • Strong men are developed through challenge, purpose, and accountability. • Many young men struggle due to a lack of direction and meaningful responsibility. • Physical activity, discipline, mentorship, and competition help build confident men. • Strong marriages require communication, teamwork, and commitment through adversity. • True presence requires attention, leadership, and engagement. • Adversity reveals character, strength, and opportunities for growth. • Faith provides stability when circumstances are uncertain. • Personal responsibility drives growth and transformation. • Joy comes from gratitude, perspective, and purpose, not circumstances. • Strong families face hardship together rather than avoid it. EPISODE CHAPTERS 0:00 — Intro & Meet James and Madison 0:42 — The Crisis Facing Men Today 1:55 — Why Boys Are Struggling 4:13 — The Purpose Gap 6:15 — Building Resilience 8:45 — Why Men Check Out 9:40 — Presence at Home 11:13 — The Life-Changing Diagnosis 12:13 — Communication in Crisis 14:13 — Parenting, Marriage & Resilience 17:49 — True Partnership 18:42 — Masculinity, Femininity & Security 22:05 — Marriage, Identity & Leadership 25:21 — Understanding MED13L Syndrome 28:57 — Fighting for Their Son 32:31 — Lessons in Marriage 35:15 — Preparing for Adversity 37:35 — Responsibility & Growth 38:56 — How Men Grow Stronger 41:05 — Accountability & Grace 43:28 — Friends Who Challenge You 45:18 — Confidence vs. Arrogance 47:35 — Authentic Relationships 50:11 — Lessons From Hardship 52:00 — Happiness vs. Joy 54:21 — Advice for Struggling Families 58:29 — Final Reflections & We Takes GUEST INFO James & Madison James and Madison are business owners, parents, and advocates for intentional family living. They share their experience navigating marriage, entrepreneurship, raising two boys, and supporting their oldest son following a rare MED13L Syndrome diagnosis. Their story highlights resilience, faith, responsibility, communication, and the power of facing life's challenges together. Through adversity, they discovered deeper purpose, stronger partnership, and a renewed commitment to leading their family with courage and conviction. SEO KEYWORDS & TAGS PRIMARY KEYWORDS how men become unshakable resilience for men modern masculinity raising boys strong men purpose and responsibility marriage and resilience faith and family personal responsibility family leadership overcoming adversity mental toughness resilient families strong marriages leadership in the home