The Black Woman’s Stress Solution Podcast: discover the connection between Black women’s stress in work, love, and health—offering real solutions to help you stress less and thrive more!

Hey, it’s Brig! In this episode, I’m diving into de-centering men without dismissing them. This isn’t about being anti-men but becoming "pro-you." I unpack the stress women carry when our worth is tied to relationships with men, and how we can reclaim sovereignty.  What You'll Learn: * Historical Conditioning: How laws and culture, like credit restrictions until 1974, mandated centering men. * Everyday Conditioning: How childhood, church, media, and dating advice push us to prioritize men. * Reasons to De-Center: I share five powerful reasons to de-center men: your worth is inherent, not tied to a man; centering men causes health-damaging stress, especially for Black women; prioritizing men isn’t true connection if it erases you; de-centering lets men be whole, fostering healing; and it means choosing love from truth, not panic. Remember that de-centering isn’t about rejecting love but reclaiming your power to choose it freely. Let’s build a life where love is a choice, not a chain, and step into true sovereignty together. Take Action Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity: 👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz [http://brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz]    RESOURCES * Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/page/website] * Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com [brig@brigjohnson.com] * Stress Quiz [https://brigjohnson.com/stressquiz]

In this powerful episode, I sit down with a special guest, CJ, who recently completed the UNKAGED™ six-month coaching program. CJ shares her transformative journey from feeling unsafe and overwhelmed in her high-powered career to reclaiming her sovereignty and creating space for her passions. What You'll Learn: * How feeling "unsafe" in professional spaces is a common experience for Black women that drains our capacity * Why the "strong Black woman" trope and self-sacrifice mindset limits our potential * The power of validating your own thoughts and feelings with "this makes sense" instead of questioning yourself * How to create more capacity by reducing stress and emotional labor * The difference between culturally-rooted coaching and traditional coaching approaches * Why recovery is essential for high-achieving Black women I’m so grateful to CJ for sharing her story and insights with us. Her journey is a powerful reminder that we don’t have to settle for survival mode—we can choose recovery, reclaim our capacity, and live life on our own terms. Take Action Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity: 👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz [http://brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz]    RESOURCES * Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/page/website] * Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com [brig@brigjohnson.com] * Stress Quiz [https://brigjohnson.com/stressquiz]

Today, I'm talking about a pattern that's silently robbing high-achieving Black women of money, joy, and energy: self-abandonment.  What is Self-Abandonment? Self-abandonment happens when you leave yourself emotionally, mentally, or physically to secure someone else's comfort, approval, or validation. It's when you side with others over yourself. We do this because somewhere along the line, we learned being fully ourselves wasn't safe. For Black women, this is compounded by generations of being told our bodies, voices, and desires needed to be managed to avoid backlash. 5 Signs You're Abandoning Yourself: 1. You override your "no" - Agreeing to things that make you dread your calendar 2. You need a "good reason" to rest - Otherwise, you feel guilty 3. You shrink your joy - Speaking less, dimming your shine, or even stopping yourself from laughing 4. You defer your decisions - Letting others decide for you, even on things that deeply impact you 5. You gaslight yourself - Downplaying your needs or telling yourself you're overreacting The Cost Is Too High Studies show: * The APA found that suppressing authentic self-expression is linked to higher cortisol and inflammation levels * Harvard Business Review reports Black women face the steepest emotional tax in professional settings, leading to earlier burnout * Chronic self-abandonment is associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and stress-related illness For high earners, this shows up as: * Emotional: Loss of self-trust, chronic resentment, burnout * Physical: Sleep disruption, weight fluctuations, immune issues, hypertension * Relationship: Surface-level connections, resentment in partnerships The Path Forward Ask yourself: "What would I choose if I didn't need anyone's approval?"   Take Action Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity: 👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz [http://brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz]    RESOURCES * Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/page/website] * Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/calendar/BreakthroughMasterclass] * Register for the Next Melanin Hour here [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/calendar/melaninhour] * Book a Breakthrough Call here [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/calendar/BREAKTHROUGHCALENDAR] * Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com [brig@brigjohnson.com] * Stress Quiz [https://brigjohnson.com/stressquiz]

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Something about me is just… wrong”? In this episode, I’m getting real about internalized wrongness — that quiet, exhausting belief that your identity is a defect to fix instead of something to celebrate. I’ve lived this, and I know how sneaky it is. From code-switching until you don’t recognize your own voice, to chasing every receipt and title just to feel “enough,” it’s a cycle that drains your energy, creativity, and self-trust. We’ll talk about how this shows up in our daily lives, why overachieving can be a mask for internalized wrongness, and the exact process I use to help Black women reset their nervous systems so authenticity feels safe again. I’ll share a client story, practical steps you can start today, and the one truth that changes everything: you were never the problem — you are the blueprint. What you’ll learn in this episode: * How to recognize the signs of internalized wrongness * Why over-preparing and over-performing never bring self-trust * The “safety scripts” that keep you editing yourself to fit in * Small, low-risk experiments to prove to your body it’s safe to be you * How to start stacking evidence for your worth and identity If you’ve been shrinking, editing, or collecting receipts just to feel worthy, it’s time to reset. Take Action Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity: 👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz [http://brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz] RESOURCES * Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/page/website] * Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/calendar/BreakthroughMasterclass] * Register for the Next Melanin Hour here [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/calendar/melaninhour] * Book a Breakthrough Call here [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/calendar/BREAKTHROUGHCALENDAR] * Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com [brig@brigjohnson.com] * Stress Quiz [https://brigjohnson.com/stressquiz]  keywords: internalized wrongness, self-trust for Black women, authenticity and nervous system, identity and self-worth, overcoming self-doubt, black women empowerment, authenticity coaching, nervous system reset, abandoning yourself for approval, self-safety practices, stop code switching, how to be your authentic self, allostatic load and stress, signs of identity suppression, Black women leadership mindset, building self-trust, cultural and historical stress, women’s empowerment podcast, emotional safety and authenticity, breaking free from people-pleasing

Why I Had to Name This I created this episode because I’ve seen too many high-achieving Black and Brown women—myself included—blame ourselves for the very thoughts that helped us survive. We’ve been told to “think better,” “stay positive,” or “change our mindset,” without anyone asking where those thoughts came from or what they were protecting us from. That’s not healing. That’s cognitive violence—and we need to name it to reclaim our power. What This Episode is Really About In this episode, I introduce the term “cognitive violence”—a pattern I’ve witnessed in coaching spaces where mindset work is used to shame rather than support. I break down how thought-shaming can happen subtly, especially in coaching rooted in privileged perspectives that ignore systemic oppression and generational trauma. We explore: * Why mindset “reframing” often skips over critical context for Black and Brown women. * How survival-based thoughts are not mindset blocks—they’re protection mechanisms. * What it means when your biology operates on rules written by oppression (what I call colonized biology). * Real-life examples of cognitive violence in action, and how to stop committing it against yourself. * The difference between changing your thoughts and feeling safe enough to believe them. * The importance of decoding your survival scripts before trying to rewrite them. This conversation is a call to stop labeling our trauma responses as flaws—and start seeing them as wisdom. 🔥 Your Call to Action Pattern break time → Ask yourself or a trusted friend: 1. What’s a thought I’ve been shaming myself for having? 2. When did I first learn it, and who taught me? 3. What was that thought trying to protect me from? Then write it down. Speak it aloud. Witness it. And if you’re ready to go deeper—take the free Stress Survival Style Quiz to start decoding your own survival patterns. Take Action Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity: 👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz [http://brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz] RESOURCES * Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/page/website] * Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/calendar/BreakthroughMasterclass] * Register for the Next Melanin Hour here [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/calendar/melaninhour] * Book a Breakthrough Call here [https://brigjohnson.kartra.com/calendar/BREAKTHROUGHCALENDAR] * Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com [brig@brigjohnson.com] * Stress Quiz [https://brigjohnson.com/stressquiz]  KEYWORDS: mindset coaching, trauma-informed coaching, Black women healing, cognitive violence, mindset work, colonized biology, nervous system regulation, emotional safety, survival thoughts, generational trauma, uncoached coaching, thought shaming, inner command center, stress survival style, self-sabotage, coaching for Black women